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My guy never wants sex yet he's always using porn. Is it ok for me to cheat?

Tagged as: Cheating, Pornography, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 May 2015) 12 Answers - (Newest, 9 May 2015)
A female Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hello well i love sex who doesn't. MY MAN that's who we never have sex his always tired body hurts not to mention he doesn't take any notice when i dress up get my hair and nails done.when I'm out he is constantly watching porn like all the time even when I'm another room i even busted him moaning on the toilet. while was doing no:2 excuse me but two theses what he was doing he went off at me he calls me all the names under the sun ugly dog mutt skank whore slag c--t and when i confront him he denies it says I'm fucked in the head but you know what history doensnt lie endless hrs too. says his not in the mood but then y is he wanking round the clock. mean while u can imagine how furious i am i love sex and I'm being starved of it and maybe if I'm lucky and Wks go buy and ill get lucky. its been wks now and the jerk offered me a quicky i told him to go fuck himself all the porn he watches is blondes and anal I've asked him ages ago if he wants to try he said no he tells me to go brunette he hates blondes. find that hard to believe. Plz help me understand i think his sick he has an addiction but to what. pornstars himself his hand or does he like dick but refusers to go there. cuz we've had sex once it lasted 4 mins if gusto was left hanging.what do i do and is it wrong for me too cheat.

View related questions: in the mood, porn

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015):

A woman who's partner keeps using porn, knowing that it hurts her , simply doesn't care . Leave him .

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A female reader, mrspiggy United Kingdom +, writes (9 May 2015):

mrspiggy agony auntI find the amount of people that ask this question disturbing.

No. It is NEVER ok to cheat. If you are not happy and this is his attitude then leave him.

Do not make HIM an excuse for YOU cheating.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015):

Porn equals physical cheating?

Yeah, just like reading a romance novel makes you guilty of emotional cheating.

It's identical logic. Identical.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015):

Romantic comedies and novels are not glorifying calling women sluts whites and bitches ( just look at most porn titles ) and chocking slapping hurting women for men's sexual gratification

NO COMPARISON

And to the man who thinks there's no differnece . Maybe he should consider whether he would be as happy for his wife , mother sister or daughter to be in porn as he would for her to be either the actor in a romantic comedy or written about in a novel and if not???! Why ???!! There's no differnece according to many men? Right ????

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015):

Actually there is lots of research showing the damage

http://m.livescience.com/20684-porn-relationships.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2153248/Men-look-porn-damage-partners-self-confidence--habit-break-happy-relationships.html

Plenty more where that came from

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015):

Porn is not twilight. It's not a novel . It's an industry vuilt on disrespecting women . Calling them sluts whores and bitches and a reenacting the advise and belittling of them for men's sexual pleasure .

Nothink like novels and frankly that's one of the lamest comparisons men can make

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015):

Does that mean he is attracted or in love with a porn what having choose the fantasy world. we have a 15 mths baby girl together. he told Mr after giving birth he fell addicted to porn and he admitted it cuz he wants a life with me and the girls that he didn't want to be that person. what changed

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2015):

So tired of men's excuses for why it's ok for them to cheat with porn in situations where they know it hurts their partner. Research after research is showing that porn use affects a partners self esteem and happiness . Users ( usually men) ignore this . I'm not talking about situation toon where couples agree but the many times women are hurt are their feelings are totally negated by the men themselves and often society. Women are always told to 'accept ' this is how men are blah blah . How about men start accepting that for a large percentage of women porn is cheating and hurts them? Time for men to start being honest so women can decide if we want relationships with cheaters

Of course you are entitled to cheat. Afterall he is but personally I wouldn't lower myself to his standard . Just leave. Keep your dignity

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2015):

Nope. Cheating is always wrong. Break up and get whatever you want from elsewhere.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (8 May 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYes, it would be wrong to cheat. It's ALWAYS wrong to cheat!!!!

What you need to reconcile, is that there's no "relationship" going on between you and "(your) MAN"!!!!!!! If two people cannot reconcile their S/S/I menus (that's Sensual, Sexual, Intimate).... then they DON'T BELONG TOGETHER....

Once you can accept THAT; you can reason, for yourself, that it's time that you and MAN go your separate ways...

Good luck... There IS a great guy for you... "OUT THERE"

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (8 May 2015):

BrownWolf agony aunt

I am one who normally fights to save marriages. Boyfriends...NO!!! They can be replaced very easily.

I agree with Honeypie. Your man has chosen to live in the fantasy world.

You need to find someone who wants you, not a fantasy.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (8 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI would say YES, it's wrong to cheat.

WHY stay WITH him if he isn't making you happy? There is NO ONE making you stay with him. Dump him and move on to a guy who WANTS to have sex and wants to BE with you.

How is cheating going to fix a damned thing?

And why stay with a guy who is abusive and treat you like dirt?

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