A
female
age
41-50,
*indrop
writes:Last July my relationship broke up as my partner fell in love with another girl. We have stayed in touch and I have forgiven him. Long story, but basically he say he still loves me and misses me. Truth is some feelings were stirred recently when he declared how much he misses me and still feels the same. I understand he couldn't keep the secret in any longer about this other woman and so had to tell me and he knew the relationship would end as soon as he told me. He said he never slept with her whilst he was with me and I believe him as he would carry so much guilt (he is that way inclined and quite an insecure person). Of course it is hard to explain why I do not hate him (I do not) as I completely know what the situation is and know him very well.I have let go and hoped he would be happy. It seems he is not, but I might be making assumptions. I think he is always going to love me and maybe a part of me still loves him. I completely shut off my feelings for him when the relationship broke up and in recent months have tried dating, unsuccessfully as nothing has come from any dates.I do not mind being single and am embracing this now and trying to move on. I have never been in this situation before as normally i do not have anything to do with exes, as they are exes for a reason! (well, I do not have a lot to do with my ex now, except the odd text etc). But this is so different, it seems we are still connected emotionally/spiritually. It seems the times when he is on my heart the most and I am praying for him he might contact me. And vice versa (although he is not a Christian), Is it possible he can be in love with two women in his life? He definitely does not want to lose me and carries a torch for me big time. I do not really think about it as much except fro when I hear from him, I don't mind hearing from him, in fact I rather like it but I am so conscious that he is with this girl now and I do not want to interfere! I really do not know what to do, i can't imagine losing contact with him completely, it seems we might just always have a connection and maybe we shall just have to live with it, I wonder if anyone else has been in in a similar position? It feels really surreal!!
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broke up, christian, fell in love, insecure, move on, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2015): HiI have been there, well, similar. I broke it off with my ex and for eighteen months he waited for me to come back. We kept in low level contact. He then asked me if we were going to get back together, I said no. We started being friends and going out dancing together (we were dance partners for five years). He met someone else and didn't tell me about her even though I'd asked, that if he met somebody else, to please let me know as I couldn't carry on the way we were. He didn't let me know and I found out by accident. I backed right off, didn't say anything and he kept getting in touch. In the end I said I hope you're happy with your girlfriend but I can't do the friend thing. He kept contacting me saying she wasn't really his girlfriend and why can't we go dancing together. In the end he promised not to get in touch but he just did the other day. (7 weeks later). I have ignored it and will continue to do so. We both still have feelings for each other and I think it will never change, but I will not play a game where he makes the rules. I finished it almost two years ago and there's still something there, but my pride would never let me go anywhere near him now he's been with someone else. But that's just me, we are all different. You asked how someone else dealt with it and I'm just letting you know. Btw I'm just starting to get it together with someone new, nice guy I think and a great dancer, so you never know what's going to happen if you let go, break the connection. I think you know it would be hard to make this right with your ex. If I had been left for someone else, no way would he touch me again.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2015): Send those texts to his current girlfriend
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2015): Naa I don't want to be with him even if it doesn't work out with this other girl because I know he is not right for me in certain ways, also the amount of guilt he'd carry and the trust issues I'd have pfff wouldn't even go there! You got that wrong!! I just wondered if anyone else had been in my shoes and how they dealt with it. Its just strange is all.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (10 May 2015):
 You've described a classic case of a guy who wants to check out another "hottie"..... and/but is quite content to keep the apron-strings attached to his old/last G/F.... so that she will be available as a "back-up", in case this new romance doesn't work out....
Aren't you worth more than that (being 2nd string)?????
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2015): It could be....but...what does it matter? He is with her now, what does it matter if he didnt cheat on you or other things? Heis not your guy anymore, he is hers.
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