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If we can't be honest then why are we dating?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 May 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 May 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So I have been seeing this guy for a few months and things are okay. He seems to do more with his friends then with me. We won't talk or text for a full day then out of the blue he'll text me and want to hang out. We'll hang out then he'll casually throw in something about his day or how he went to the next town over to get a "hair cut" and I'll find receipts laying around about how he went to the movies or do this or that and I'm just like oh so that's why you didn't bother texting me that day. It all seems shady, I'm unsure of what to say bc I'm not even sure if we "dating" or just "hanging out" either way we aren't honest with each other. I never tell him who I'm hanging out with or what I'm up to bc I don't feel like I need to, if he doesn't feel the need to share much with me.

I guess I just want to know how I should go about this anymore bc if we can't be honest with each other then why continue this right?!?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you everyone for the advice. I'm going to try and talk to him about all this and if nothing changes I'll walk. Thanks again.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntSo you have been "hanging out" for a couple of months and you feel he is being shady and rather spend time with friends than you.. so maybe it's time to let him go on his merry way and you find a guy who wants to DATE you and spend TIME with you.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada + , writes (8 May 2015):

janniepeg agony auntI am not sure if he's lying because he could have been doing both, movies and haircut. I would end it because there is not enough interest on his part. A few months of just hanging out surely isn't satisfying. As to how you should go about this, just tell him you are not interested in hanging out and you don't have to contact each other anymore.

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A female reader, MSA United States +, writes (8 May 2015):

MSA agony auntA guy's dream is to have a part time girlfriend. Someone they can be lovey dovey and go on dates with when they are in the mood for that.

When they are not in the mood to have a girlfriend around, they want to live the 'single life' and hang out with friends and do whatever without having to report to anyone.

Some girls are OK with that as they each have their lives but can be a couple together. Other girls want to be more involved in their boyfriend's life.

It's not that your man doesn't want to be honest with you, he just doesn't want the hassle of 'reporting' to you. He wants you to be his part time girlfriend.

It's up to you to decide if that will work for you, if not, have a talk with him and let him know what you want. If he agrees, great. If he doesn't... time to move on.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (8 May 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntWhen you wrote: "...if we can't be honest with each other then why continue this right?!?" ... you answered your own question....

Good luck...

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