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My sex drive is such that I want to sleep around but I know that will hurt my boyfriend, and might make him depressed. What can I do about my libido?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Cheating, Dating, Health, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 May 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 10 May 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, *onyaThompson writes:

I'm in a really uncomfortable situation.

I've been with my bf for 3 years with one break.

During the break I had sex with two people and dated a person online for a few weeks.

I just really wanted to get something out of my system. I have had a long term boyfriend one after the other since I was 16, and never got to just sleep around.

My bf and I got back together and we're fine but now I really want to sleep around again.

The issue is that my boyfriend will might be so very depressed, that he'd never take me back.

Sure you could argue that there are better people for him since I'm a whore but I can't help this feeling.

I've tried to suppress it but I can't.

I love my boyfriend and I've met no one like him.

I hate that my sex drive might break our relationship. Has anyone dealt with this and found a solution?

View related questions: depressed, got back together, libido, sex drive

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (10 May 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony aunt"Sleeping around" isn't all it's cracked up to be......

Good luck...

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (10 May 2015):

llifton agony auntFirst of all, you're not a whore. Many people go through this stage where they are just not ready to settle down and commit for the long haul and wish to experience different things. That's okay. It's perfectly normal.

I think it seems clear you are not ready for a long term relationship. Why not take time apart and see how you feel? I know it's not easy, but it sounds like the right thing to do - for yourself and for him. Good luck.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (10 May 2015):

chigirl agony auntFirst off, just because you are a woman who wants to have sex, does NOT mean you are a whore. Do not ever say that again. Women have asexuality and it is just healthy to live it out.

That being said, cheating is not okay, and having a break just to have sex, then take him back, is not okay either.

You can not have both. Doesnt sound like this bf of yours gives you what you need in bed. So I would say he isnt the right one for you. Find a bf who pleases you in bed, that would be better for you. Other alternatives are to lower your sex drive by using hormohnes such as birth control pills or depo shot. Ask your doctor about it..

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