A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay so I need a bit of advice. A good friend of mine, we will call him Mark, used to date me. Another friend, we will call her Amber, decided she was going to be a not so good friend and steal him away. Mark and Amber were together for about 3 years but broke up about 2 years ago. Mark and I have gotten to be pretty good friends again, and my feelings for him are becoming more with every conversation. We both have very busy lives, but make time to talk every day. He asked me about a week ago if I was interested in being friends with benefits. I told him I needed some time to think about it. That was April 30th. Every morning he sends me a text message saying good morning beautiful, he sends me sweet nothings through the day, and he always wishes me sweet dreams when he is going to bed. We hang out and it's never been sexual since Amber jumped down his pants until last night. He kissed me while we were smoking a cigarette during our conversation and he sent jolts of electricity through my body. One thing lead to another and we had the best sex of my life. I know my emotions would be poison for a no strings attached relationship. I don't know if I should to him I crave his touch. I to know if it's or Sorensonwant to be up front with him, but I don't want things to get weird. While we were taking last night he kept saying things like why didn't we get together before. I need any advice I can get
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 May 2015):
 When a guy meets a girl who will sell her soul, whilest giving away her body (to him) ... he knows that he has hit the lottery of $*x!!! Nirvana!!!!!
The poor woman, meanwhile, may have a real - and emotional - attachment to the guy.... BUT what does he give a darn??? He's getting his... AND he can justify it (to himself, any one else who cares to listen... even GOD, HISSELF!!!),.... since YOU consented to let it happen....
No... save your self-respect, and "pass" on this magnificent opportunity that he is offering you....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 May 2015):
 just say NO right now... NO MORE... I can PROMISE you that you will be hurt. "It was electric" means you have feelings... and having feelings means you will want more than FWB... and you will read into every word he says and everything he does and try to make it seem like he feels for you the way you feel for him.
It won't work.
It's hard to understand when we should listen to words vs listen to actions... in this case...listen to words.. he wants FWB which means NSA sex. Which means he will walk away from you when what he really wants comes along. He's just settling for you right now because it's easy this way.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (12 May 2015):
 If you care for the guy then going into a FWB relationship is probably the kiss of death. We have had so many girls/ladies come on here stating they have done that..hoping that the guy will eventually start to care..and guess what..he doesn't. He uses them and then moves on.
I can't express enough what the other posters have said..you are both FREE..if he really cared why not just date you exclusively???
You know the old expression..why buy the cow when you can get the milk free??
Don't do it...the only one who will get hurt is YOU
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2015): Its going to be all very well until he brags to some girl in the bar.."oh her,no we're nothing special , we're just Fwb. I'd give her up in a blink of your eyelashes just to b in a relationship with you. Mr Have-His-Cake-And-Eat-It should be told by you that he upset you previously and in the interests of your sanity you are escaping while you have good memories. Timing is of paramount importance!
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (12 May 2015):
 If you have feeling for him then FWB is the worst way for you to get him to be yours. If you want a relationship with him then you have to set that from the get go. FWB is just sex for him and he will never see you more then just the relief girl. If thats what he wants then you are better off letting go of this because that is not what you want. Don't ever waste time hoping that, through sex, you will gain a BF.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2015): WALK AWAY.
That's the best advice I can give on this.
On the other hand IF you like having your heart BROKEN, then by all means stay and enjoy the drama.
We all have free will, after all.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 May 2015):
 I'd give Mark a pass too. YOU still care for him even though he left for you for another girl, and now that he ISN'T getting any sex from HER any more, he re-kindled a "friendship" with you because HE KNOWS you still care and thus MAYBE will be (pardon for being blunt) will be dumb enough to fall for the let's be F-buddies.
I agree with Cindy, IF he doesn't want to date, why have sex with him? He is basically telling you that chatting and having sex is OK, but you aren't "good" enough to date. (in his eyes)
And YOU having sex with him WILL not change that fact. He will have sex with you until he find another GIRL to date.
I think it would be a real dumb idea to have sex with him. Find a guy who is the total package. Someone who WANTS you and WANTS to date yoy.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 May 2015):
 No no, OP. Keep your wits about you and your panties on, if you can. This is very risky, you could end up hurt.
You have feelings and emotions for this guy, so he would be the wrong FWB for you ,right off the bat. From there on, it is likely to go downhill.
I guess that in the back of your mind you are hoping that from sex only you can bring him back to the same thing it used to be when you dated, and you also count that " why don't we got together before " means something more than " why didn't we get together before, we could have had already many fulfilling sexual encounters ". But remember, OP, : he has happily carried on without you, 3 years with the other girl, and 2 years as a single- if he had missed you as his partner, he 'd have had 5 years to let you know, and it did not happen. Plus, now he is free, you are free, ... you are exes,... and he asks you to be his FWB, not to restart your r/ship . Makes you think, huh ? ( at least, it should ).
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