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He asked for 2 months of space. Should I give it to him?

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 May 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 May 2015)
A female Philippines age 30-35, *ansdre writes:

Its about my boyfriend who left me when i was pregnant and came.back when our son turning to 1 years old. I accepted him for he sincerely asked my parents forgiveness and acceptance. He brought his family to my parents to talk about marriage thing. We decided to get married after one year since he was going to abroad. But something went wrong with his abroad thing and its been cancelled. After that we always had arguments and end up to break up which i didnt agreed for i love him and we have baby. Aftdr 5months I suddently brought and confined to hospital for an ectopic case and I was a little bit happy since he stayed with me in tje hospital and he took care of me. When i got home he suddenly asked for 2 months space to solve his problem and will tell what problem it is after the space. Now my question is what do u think running from his mind and should i give him space? How?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntHe isn't mature enough to be a partner or husband. JUST look at how he RUNS every time things get tough. You got pregnant... he ran. (betting his PARENTS made him ask for forgiveness to your parents, that wasn't HIS choice.)

Then he OFFERS marriage, but.. OFFERING a marriage is ONE thing, another is to ACTUALLY marry someone.

Again I can only guess, but he offered the marriage because HE KNEW he had an out - going to school elsewhere. That way he could dump you from a distance, if he found someone else or decided that didn't WANT to marry you. And again, because HE didn't get to go away for school arguments started up. He is NOT happy with his life and feeling "forced" to having to take RESPONSIBILITY for getting you pregnant and fathering a child.

You got PREGNANT again? WHY were you two NOT using birth control or SELF CONTROL?

He felt sorry for you so he stuck with you while you were in the hospital, but as soon as you are back home, HE is running AGAIN.

How do you think a marriage with him would be? EVERY time things get tough and he cuts and runs?

I have to agree if you have something like Child Support in your country NOW is the time to apply for it. Because I can easily see you being a single mother real soon. HE is USELESS as a father/spouse. (again, I can only guess, because he is pretty IMMATURE).

Sorry.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (9 May 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYour "boyfriend/baby-daddy's" behaviour makes me think of a pinball in an arcade machine..... And, it doesn't bode well for much of a future for you and this child, and - probably - any others that you and he might spawn....

Why not take a critical view of what has happened? ... and ask yourself if you want a future that includes him and this behaviour. If the answer is "yes," then go for it. If the answer is "no," then give him all the time he wants. (I suggest "forever')....

Good luck...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015):

He's asking you to break-up. He doesn't really want to be with you. He knows he has an obligation and responsibility for the baby. He doesn't seem to care that much for you. Why else would he want to getaway from you? You can't use a child to force someone to love or stay with YOU! Not only should you give him space, but you should put legal wheels in motion to get child-support. He's about to disappear!

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