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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Is there any chance she will come back to me?
Q. There is a girl who was friend with me since 2 years. She was so close to me and trust me that she sends her pics to me to ask that which one she should make her DP. We talk everyday on texts for 2-3 hours. within 5 months our chats counts reached ...
A. 4 September 2018: If she wanted to speak to you she would do.
Stop obsessing over this, it’s been close to 3 months. Get on with your life.... (read in full...)
Turnng 30 and getting itchy feet about passionless relationship
Q. Hi, I don't know what to do or how to feel. I have lived at home with my parents until not long ago. I was always a good kid and studied hard and didn't go out partying. I've bought a house and moved in with my partner of 10 years. I have bee...
A. 24 August 2018: The relationship is done.
Move out as soon as possible and search for what you’re looking for. The guy is boring, why would you stay? Why would you WANT to stay? You’ve told us you don’t do anything, there’s no passion or romance so what other op... (read in full...)
Leaving a married man is more painful than staying
Q. So I ended my A over a month ago. I felt like a huge weight was lighted off my shoulders that I finally off the roller coster ride of emotions. I started wanting more than he can give He would always make excuses to come to my place go to your p...
A. 24 August 2018: What do you mean ‘be yours’?
Get your head out of the clouds, why would you want to be involved with someone that fucked you in a bush? That’s actually sad. I feel sorry for you if that’s all you think you’re worth.
If he cared about you ... (read in full...)
They look so happy on their photos and get so many likes on them and I can't help feeling like I despise them both
Q. My ex and I broke up at the start of February after 5 years together. We shared a house, was talking about getting engaged and starting a family etc but I left. I realised I wanted to fulfill my dream of getting a degree which he didn't approve of. ...
A. 23 August 2018: Stop looking?
Out of sight, out of mind. He’s clearly trying to make you jealous if he’s telling your mother the plans he has with his new GF as he knows it will get back to you and it’s having some sort of effect.
Like you said, YOU were t... (read in full...)
Leaving a married man is more painful than staying
Q. So I ended my A over a month ago. I felt like a huge weight was lighted off my shoulders that I finally off the roller coster ride of emotions. I started wanting more than he can give He would always make excuses to come to my place go to your p...
A. 23 August 2018: No sympathy here from me, you were potentially breaking up a family, you don’t deserve any praise for realising it was wrong, think about the poor wife who has no idea her husband was fucking another woman in a bush. She’s got the shitty end of the ... (read in full...)
Should I ask why he blocked me?
Q. I met a guy online at the end of last year. When we met he was in the process of trying to move back to london and had been offered a job. The job offer fell through and he didn’t end up moving to london. We still stayed in touch but not in a lon...
A. 23 August 2018: Why would you?
What would you gain from it? Messaging someone after they’ve blocked you is odd behaviour. He doesn’t want to speak to you for a reason, who cares what that reason is? Get on with your life.... (read in full...)
After 2 months away my boyfriend wants us to take a break
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and he just got back from being away for 2 months on a family vacation. Ever since he got back, things have not felt the same. Everything was pretty much really awkward. So, we talked and at first we...
A. 23 August 2018: So you’ve been together for 6 months, he was away for 2 so you’ve really been together for 4 months where you could actually have a physical relationship. If he wants a break this soon then let it go. He’s not interested anymore, things won’t get ... (read in full...)
The guy I've been seeing just asked about a threesome with my friend
Q. A guy I've been seeing for not long was talking to me tonight and he pulled up a pic on my social media and asked if it was my friend in the pic. I said yes and he said she looks familiar. He then a few sentences later was asking if I wanted a...
A. 23 August 2018: Of course.
Do you really need help with this question?... (read in full...)
I just can’t shake the feeling that he’ll be benefiting from me!
Q. Hey, so I have a dilemma! My boyfriend of 6 months is due to move in soon, I'm very happy and so is he, we adore each other. I have my own place which is owned by family, I don't pay any rent, my grandmother pays for the service charge whic...
A. 23 August 2018: I forgot to mention. Why aren’t you paying the service charge? Sounds like YOU are taking advantage of your grandmothers kindness. Sounds very hypocritical to be complaining that your BF would be benefitting from the arrangement when you’ve got a ... (read in full...)
I just can’t shake the feeling that he’ll be benefiting from me!
Q. Hey, so I have a dilemma! My boyfriend of 6 months is due to move in soon, I'm very happy and so is he, we adore each other. I have my own place which is owned by family, I don't pay any rent, my grandmother pays for the service charge whic...
A. 22 August 2018: So what do you suggest?
He pays more than he should be doing? You sound like you’re getting a great deal out of this whole thing also so why are you so adamant that he’s going to take advantage? If he’s paying half of the bills then I’m not seei... (read in full...)
He keeps asking for nude pictures!
Q. Hi everyone. I'm in a 2yrs long distance relationship with this guy never met him, although the time I would have met him wasn't convenient because of my exams and he traveled back bcos of work. we chat everyday, he tells me he loves me n can't wait ...
A. 22 August 2018: How can you be in a relationship with someone you’ve never met? Don’t you realise how stupid that sounds? You’ve wasted two years of your life speaking to someone and you don’t even know it’s who they say they are.
DO NOT send the pictures... (read in full...)
Should I continue to see both my girlfriends or just one?
Q. I have 2 girlfriends, A and D. I have been in an open relationship with A for 4 months and D for a little more than 2 months. Both know about each other and I am in love with both of them. D is older and married to a man and the marriage is open. ...
A. 22 August 2018: Yeah it’s pretty clear that open relationships aren’t for you.
In fact they just sound stupid. If you don’t want to be exclusive with someone then why class it as a relationship? Just be single. How can you bond with someone when they’re going ou... (read in full...)
Should I become famous to get close to him?
Q. I am interested in a celebrity I only see him at events but i talk to.him on social media everyday. I met him at an.event and he knew who i was and some details about me, is it okay that im interested in him? I write him letters sometime too, ...
A. 22 August 2018: And what would you plan on doing exactly to become famous?
If you have spoken to him in person and you speak daily on social media and he’s never shown a romantic interest then I’d say it’s pretty clear that you’d be wasting your time trying t... (read in full...)
I'm about to move in with my boyfriend, but worry he might change his mind.
Q. Hi all, So I’ve been with my new boyfriend for nearly 6 months, it’s all going brilliantly, he’s everything I’ve wanted and we get on so well, I’m 28, he’s 30. He’s been with a lot of girls for one night stands and his longest relationship is ...
A. 22 August 2018: What’s to say ANYONE won’t get cold feet? Why just because he’s never had a GF does it mean that it’s going to be HIM that calls things off? I’m similar to your BF, I’m 26 years old and I’ve only ever had 1 GF who I’m with right now. We’ve been ... (read in full...)
My profile was on a dating app...
Q. I have a long term partner of many years , with whom I'm really happy. About a year ago we were chatting in bed about dating in general, and how hard it must be to meet someone suitable, etc.We'd just been watching one of our favorite TV programs...
A. 22 August 2018: You say your GF would remember and then later decide she wouldn’t. Which is it?
I wouldn’t lose anymore sleep over it. If you’re genuinely not using the app then what’s the issue? If the situation comes up then I’m sure you can remind her of the t... (read in full...)
He has a gambling problem and sneaks around. I’m pregnant and wondering if I should just leave him now?
Q. My husband and i are newly married for a year. I just know that he has a very bad personality and character. He lied a lot before since i know him but i brushed it off just because i love him. Now we are married i just know that he has gambling ...
A. 22 August 2018: What do you love? I cant see it.
Your update made him sound like even more of an asshole than first thought. He lies, there’s no affection, no sex, huge debts, gambling addiction, possible cheating. Why are you staying? Do you think this is the b... (read in full...)
Did I just get used for sex?
Q. So I've known this guy for a while and last week our texts turned sexual and he said do I want to meet with him. So we met we were kissing, we held hands we had a good time. Then he asked if I wanted to have sex with him I said I couldn't because I ...
A. 21 August 2018: That doesn’t matter.
You still got sexual on the FIRST time you met him. Genuine people won’t see waiting as an issue and will be happy to do so because the sexual side of things isn’t their main focus.
If people sway the conversation sex... (read in full...)
Did I just get used for sex?
Q. So I've known this guy for a while and last week our texts turned sexual and he said do I want to meet with him. So we met we were kissing, we held hands we had a good time. Then he asked if I wanted to have sex with him I said I couldn't because I ...
A. 21 August 2018: It didn’t just happen? Of course it did.
He asked for sex and you gave him the best you could offer at that moment. If you don’t want to be used for sex then don’t give it up to the first guy that asks. He’s more than likely filed you in the easy... (read in full...)
He has a gambling problem and sneaks around. I’m pregnant and wondering if I should just leave him now?
Q. My husband and i are newly married for a year. I just know that he has a very bad personality and character. He lied a lot before since i know him but i brushed it off just because i love him. Now we are married i just know that he has gambling ...
A. 21 August 2018: This isn’t a man. You’re dealing with a child that feels like he can do whatever he wants without consequence.
If he lies before marriage then why would you think after would be any different? Where’s your common sense? You knew he gambled,... (read in full...)
How long after hooking up do I wait before texting him?
Q. I went out with a guy I've known for a while but we started talking differently recently so last night we hooked up and one thing led to another. He said he would be busy this week with work and he suggested we maybe hook up on Sunday. So how long ...
A. 16 August 2018: What are you hoping for from this? If it’s a relationship I’d say there’s virtually no chance as this had started off on the wrong foot. To me it sounds like he sees you as someone to have sex with on a casual basis.
If that’s what you’re after th... (read in full...)
Is this just a one night stand or something more?
Q. Okay people I need opinion here.... especially from a guys perspective!! So i met a guy from my old state through social media. He contacted me first asking about hiking trails in the new state I was located. He was helping move his mom here whe...
A. 13 August 2018: Surely YOU can see on your own without asking us for advice that he’s no good? He is asking for nude pics and feeding you a bit of bullshit to keep you hooked.
People either want a relationship or they dont. There’s no ‘I don’t know’ about it... (read in full...)
Is this just a one night stand or something more?
Q. Okay people I need opinion here.... especially from a guys perspective!! So i met a guy from my old state through social media. He contacted me first asking about hiking trails in the new state I was located. He was helping move his mom here whe...
A. 13 August 2018: Definitely shown his true colours here.
He was after sex and nothing more. As wiseowl said it’s time to throw him on the loser pile.
For future if you don’t want to be used for sex, make them work for it. Make them date you and find out what th... (read in full...)
He’s chubby and it turns me off!
Q. So I went for a date with this guy on Monday and it went gd, he's asked me to go to a wine tasting evening after he comes back from holiday with his parents in a fortnight. However, he’s cute (he’s half French and has the accent), has a h...
A. 12 August 2018: I’m not sure what you’re asking for help for exactly?
You’re not attracted to the guy. Case closed.
It doesn’t sound like he will be hitting the gym any time soon so are you expecting to wake up one day and be head over heels for him? It’s pe... (read in full...)
I got involved with a coworker who spun a web of lies. Now he wants to be civil and I feel confused
Q. Hello all, I got in a relationship with somebody from work, he'd been unhappy in his relationship,they have two kids less than 5 years old together. Initially we were friends, he brought me out of my shell when I returned to work after m...
A. 12 August 2018: First of all I’d take this as a lesson to never date someone that I work with. You’ve had a great demonstration of why not to and hopefully have taken it on board and understand that you’re in your workplace to carry out a job that you’re being paid ... (read in full...)
What is it with guys and porn? He has me!
Q. I'm in a long term relationship, we're both in our mid twenties. We live together and both work from home so we spend a lot of time together. My bf watches porn while i'm in the shower. We have sex twice a month since I stopped initiating. I k...
A. 12 August 2018: What are you getting out of this relationship exactly?
No sex life, he’s selfish, inconsiderate, lazy. I’m failing to see what you love here. Don’t you think that you could find someone that treats you with respect? Someone who actually cares ab... (read in full...)
Is there any chance she will come back to me?
Q. There is a girl who was friend with me since 2 years. She was so close to me and trust me that she sends her pics to me to ask that which one she should make her DP. We talk everyday on texts for 2-3 hours. within 5 months our chats counts reached ...
A. 12 August 2018: I think it’s pretty clear that she doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore.
People drift apart, these things happen in life. You will survive. I’m assuming you were hoping she would be your GF from the ‘proposal’ texts? If so, it looks li... (read in full...)
He says that showing him my sex organs is the sign of true love!
Q. i am in a long distance relationship for almost 5 months. now he is forcing me to show my sex organs. he says that this is the sign of true love. if i don't, that means i don't trust him. he even told me that from next year on, when i will stay in a ...
A. 12 August 2018: He sounds like an absolute creep.
He wants you to send nudes and is doing everything he can to get into your underwear. He is trying to manipulate you by bringing up suicide. If he has depression then he needs to get psychiatric help for that, it... (read in full...)
He said I am an extraordinary woman, but ended things because I live far away.
Q. Hello my dear Aunts! I hope you are doing well. I met a man online who is someone I would like to be with. We talked on the phone several times and texted constantly for about a month before we met in person. He lives about 4 hours away from ...
A. 12 August 2018: Why would you call him? What is there to talk about? It’s already been discussed that you live too far away for him to see this being a feasible relationship.
Let it go. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend lied about her sexual past. How do I trust her?
Q. I have been dating this girl for four years now and have asked about past relationships with guys in the beginning of our relationship . She had told me that she slept with three guys, two boyfriends and a friend, when telling me about her ...
A. 11 August 2018: I always find this such a BIZARRE topic of conversation between partners. Why the hell would you want to know who your current love interest has screwed and how many? What good could come of that situaton?
She lied because she didn’t was to cause... (read in full...)
Two guys and I'm confused about which one to pick
Q. Hi guys! I am starting to date again after the end of my 6-year relationship that ended last year. This has never been a problem of mine before, but I am currently seeing two guys. Guy 1: 10 years older (35), is decently successful in h...
A. 10 August 2018: If you feel like you have to weigh up the pros and cons of who to choose to romantically pursue then the answer is neither.
Relationships form naturally, they don’t come by ‘who’s the better option’.... (read in full...)
Do I deserve to be treated this way because I cheated?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 16 years. Out of the past 10 years I have supported him fully. I am the only one that works, pays the bills, mortgage, cooks, and does all of the housework. We also have a child together that is only a ...
A. 10 August 2018: Come on? Be serious here.
If your child came to you and said ‘Mum, my partner is hitting me, what should I do?’ What would you say?
The answer here is so simple. ... (read in full...)
Relationship rock and a hard place
Q. I am currently in a relationship which is less than a year old. I love this girl a lot and even waited around for a couple of years while she was with someone else. She dumped the other guy as she was cheated on, she then she wanted to give us a try ...
A. 10 August 2018: You don’t love either.
You can’t claim to love someone it there’s another person in the picture. How can you look past a person that you love? You don’t see any other people, the sun shines out of their ass and you are blind to any other temptati... (read in full...)
My online LD friend made me uncomfortable by flirting so I blocked him
Q. I met this man on Instagram 8 months ago, we both loved music and that's how our conversation started. He's from Australia and I'm from the US. Everything was great, however he started to confess his love for me WAY TOO EARLY. I found it weird. ...
A. 9 August 2018: This isn’t a friendship.
The guy is a creep, you told him no multiple times but he kept persisting. Blocking him was the right thing to do, forget about him. ... (read in full...)
We are engaged but I don't think I'm the one my fiance wants to be with
Q. Hi I’ve been with my fiancé now for 4 years I feel like the relationship is on its way out I’ve had so much to put up with while we’ve been together we got engaged because he didn’t know what to get me for Christmas and his mum suggested it I only ...
A. 9 August 2018: It’s not on its way out, it’s over.
He doesn’t prioritise you, you sleep in separate beds, no sex life, no thoughtfulness towards you.
What’s making you stay? Get out, marrying this guy won’t improbe anything.... (read in full...)
Is this just a one night stand or something more?
Q. Okay people I need opinion here.... especially from a guys perspective!! So i met a guy from my old state through social media. He contacted me first asking about hiking trails in the new state I was located. He was helping move his mom here whe...
A. 6 August 2018: You’re wondering if you’ve been used yet ignore the guy when he’s trying to make conversation?
You couldn’t have responded to his message that he’s landed with anything? Surely you could of sent something along the lines of ‘Glad to hear’? L... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to cut ties with former friends who let me down?
Q. Two years ago I worked for a small company of approx 60 people and my colleagues were like family. We worked together, socialised together-it was very tight knit. Then unfortunately one of our clients gave us a project that went wrong. One of my...
A. 6 August 2018: Not really, it’s up to you who you class as friends.
I think at some point or other, everyone has cut someone out due to the realisation that they’re not adding anything positive to their life.... (read in full...)
My ex is addicted to xanax and don't know what to do
Q. For the past year I've been seeing this girl who lives about four hours from me in another city. We've been off and on for about five years dating different people in between but always remaining friends throughout. We recently had a falling out ...
A. 5 August 2018: You can’t help someone that doesn’t want to help their self.
Whilst it must be awful to see someone that you care about going into self destruction, there is absolutely nothing you can do. Help and guidance is there if she wants it although... (read in full...)
How can I subtly hint that I fancy my co-worker? I think he likes me too, but he seems shy
Q. So over the past few months I got to know a co-worker from a different department pretty well. He often comes over to my department to ask me research questions, and we got talking and have a LOT in common, we really click and have very similar ...
A. 5 August 2018: Take a few minutes to search this website for the amount of work related dramas are caused through dating.
I answered one just this morning and I’d say a hundred others over the time that I’ve been part of this website at least. Dating co-worke... (read in full...)
My husband slapped me on the face because he didn't like what I was wearing and I wouldn't change
Q. 3 years ago, i thought i met the love of my life. I've been in the US for 4 years, since I've been working there i met this man, we got into a relationship and after 1 year, he proposed to me. I was madly in love with him. Since we got married, he ...
A. 5 August 2018: Absolutely.
It starts with a slap, what next? Punch? Kick? Strangulation?
You said you’ve fallen out of love with him because he doesn’t prioritise you. Add that he’s abusive onto that and it’s a perfect reason to leave.
Get out whilst ... (read in full...)
My ex who's also my colleague has ended the relationship in a really nasty way and I'm heartbroken!
Q. Sorry this is a long one but I'd really appreciate some advice please. My boyfriend and I had been together almost five months but have known each other for about a year. We work in the same place but in different departments. There'd always b...
A. 5 August 2018: I’m pretty sure you’ve posted here before as your question sounds very familiar.
Why are you putting yourself through this? Honestly?
People deal with grief in different ways, whatever works for them but this guy has been a complete asshole... (read in full...)
Lazy, childish and his habits disgust me but he takes no notice when I speak to him. What should I do?
Q. Hi I’ve been with my partner for nearly 6 years we have a 3 year old daughter together I’m now realising what disgusting habits he has he always farts and he makes our daughter do it on people he spits which our daughter does and he is always ...
A. 5 August 2018: What can you do? Leave, it’s prettt obvious.
He has no respect for you, he’s teaching your children bad manners and undermines you. Why would you accept that treatment?
Yes, you have a child together but does that justify staying with som... (read in full...)
I walked a strange girl home. Would it be okay to ask her out?
Q. I am a grad student at a major US university. One evening not too long ago I was headed home from a long night in the lab (after midnight) when I came across a young woman wearing heels and a dress who approached me. She said that she had been at...
A. 5 August 2018: I have to agree with code warrior. Get off your high horse man: ‘help her make better choices’? Are you mr perfect?
How do you know she didn’t leave the party because he friends were doing things that she didn’t approve of? She left because ... (read in full...)
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