Like what
he writes?
... Add *91 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *91 a private message | | | *91's profile:"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"
"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
|
| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
|
I've been with him for 15 years. Am I stupid?
Q. Am I being dumb? I have been with my partner for 15 years We have 2 children together. His mum is constantly on the phone texting call and bitching about me. I have recently started a new Job, but that's more for her to bitch about me. I n...
A. 16 October 2018: I will say yes, you are wasting your life with a deadbeat mummy’s boy.
You can do better and you know it. He doesn’t respect you at all and that shows when he invited his ex to the hospital. Get rid, look for somewhere else to live and find som... (read in full...)
Should I be upset that my FWB partner is having sex with others and lied about it
Q. I have been having sex with a friend but he said he having been with anyone else but I caught him with another woman should I be angry or not because we are not dating? please help me because im mad as hell....
A. 16 October 2018: Of course not.
The whole idea is that you are FRIENDS with benefits. Do you get angry with your friends for talking to other people? I doubt it, so why would you be angry with someone when you’ve agreed the situation is sex on top of friendsh... (read in full...)
Regret kissing a girl I didn't find attractive that turned out to be an alcoholic on a date whilst drunk and now she wants more.
Q. Hi to everyone, I have gotten myself into an awkward situation with a girl I went on a date with last night. To elaborate I met this girl very briefly about 3 weeks ago at a club, she took a photo that I wanted so we exchanged details and she ...
A. 16 October 2018: If you don’t want to lead her on then stop meeting her for dates. Tell her that you enjoy her company but only see her as a friend. Simple.... (read in full...)
He loves me, wants me for his wife.. but also wants sex with other women. Please help!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over two years; we're in our thirties and met on a dating site. We've been having a great time together and at this point we're discussing a path to marriage and children, but I'm having trouble ...
A. 15 October 2018: So this is the second time now he’s asked if you’re okay with him fucking other women.
Do you think this will honestly be the end of it? He’s clearly not committed to the relationship if that’s the kind of thing he’s asking. He is a creep, h... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is thinking about working with a woman I don't like! What should I do?
Q. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and I love him with all my heart but I have always struggled with trust issues due to my boyfriend's career. He works at a gym a...
A. 15 October 2018: Why are you with someone that’s ‘given’ you anxiety? If you know your self worth then why stay with someone that makes you second guess yourself?
If he wants to cheat he will do it whether he goes on this course with her or not but a sure fire way... (read in full...)
I'm willing to leave my husband but my married lover isn't saying anything about leaving his wife
Q. Iv been having an affair for a couple of years now and decided to end my marriage. I'm living with a friend but my married lover is still staying put. I said it was my problem about leaving my husband but he said he was still worried for me. He ...
A. 14 October 2018: If he wanted to be with you in a serious relationship he would have left his wife and be in the process of divorce.
The reality has hit him, you have left your husband and things have become real. Now he has realised that all he wanted was a fl... (read in full...)
Have I just been used?
Q. I was seeing someone up until a few months ago, we weren’t together very long but I really started to care for him. Anyway he’d not long got out a relationship before we met, moved out and started his new life so wanted to take things slowly, he ...
A. 14 October 2018: Used you how exactly? Nothing happened.
He’s fresh out of a relationship and quite clearly told you that his heads a mess. What are you expecting?
Newly single people are not looking for serious relationships.... (read in full...)
Long distance relationship started out so good but now so bad. Do I end things?
Q. so I am in a long distance relationship for 7 months now. He is from Texas and I'm from Ireland. We met on his first night here, and we just chatted for the whole night and we made plans for the next day and the next and it was on the second day he ...
A. 13 October 2018: It was a whirlwind romance, nothing more. Like something from a film, you shared a connection and he announced his ‘love’ for you. I think he loved the situation more than anything. No one can fall in love that soon it’s absolutely ludicrous and if ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my potential mistress that my marriage is falling apart (not true) in order to increase my chances that she'll do it without guilt?
Q. My question is simple. I'm married and going on a trip this weekend to meet a friend that I'd like to get intimate with. She knows I'm married, but has hinted she doesn't care that much. However, I'm not sure I trust that. Should I tell her that my ...
A. 8 October 2018: How about growing up?
Leave your wife if you feel the need to cheat, she deserves better than a piece of shit like you. ... (read in full...)
Dad needs some help in his relationship.
Q. Hello, Please could someone help give me some good advice, I don't know what else to do.... I am currently in a 10 year relationship and we have 3 young children and the kids are our worlds and we do love each other, but I am deeply disappoin...
A. 28 September 2018: You do realise that you don’t have to be with her even though she is the mother to your children right?
She has lied to your face on multiple occasions regarding issues that are very important to you. How many more times until you decide enough i... (read in full...)
Should I take the hint? It seems our friendship is over.
Q. So I was friends with benefits with this guy for 4 years. I told him 8 months ago I can't do this no more. I told him either commit or let me go. He let me go. 8 months later he's speaking to me again. I met up at his place and he tried instigating ...
A. 27 September 2018: What friendship?
He used you for sex for 4 years. ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for not trusting my man?
Q. A few months ago I met this guy out of state. We really hit it off and he ended up moving in my state. He has an ex girl that he still has pictures with on social media. When she noticed that he moved to my state she immediately called him then ...
A. 27 September 2018: Well you’re still checking his phone after being advised not to and you’re asking strangers on the internet whether to trust the guy or not. It’s quite evident that you will never trust what the guy has to say and will always be checking up on ... (read in full...)
Cheated on my boyfriend 2 weeks before getting pregnant help!!!
Q. I am 24 years old and found out I was pregnant about 3 weeks ago. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and thought things were fizzled out, I looked for company else where. I have never cheated on him before and can’t believe I did it this ...
A. 24 September 2018: How are people honestly advising to sweep cheating under the carpet? How do you cheat on someone that you love? It's not possible, if you cheat on someone then you don't love them, it's as simple as that.
If it breaks him then so be it, accept t... (read in full...)
I’ve been bullied by my brother-in-law for 17 years! What is the best revenge?
Q. I have a brother in law and for 17 years he has disliked me from the very moment he laid eyes on me. I am a very likeable and confident, and id like to say hot girl lol i am hilarious and fun love to tell stories and make people laugh i dont have ...
A. 24 September 2018: After reading the post and all your updates all I have to say is outside of family events why would you even think about the issue? Sounds like you have to deal with him for a few days at a time then you go back home to whichever country you live in ... (read in full...)
Cheated on my boyfriend 2 weeks before getting pregnant help!!!
Q. I am 24 years old and found out I was pregnant about 3 weeks ago. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and thought things were fizzled out, I looked for company else where. I have never cheated on him before and can’t believe I did it this ...
A. 24 September 2018: Oh wow.
What an awful attitude to have. You’re hoping to miscarry? When there’s families out there that can’t have their own child?
YOU are the one that created this mess so own up to it! Why should your BF have to stay with a cheat? You decid... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...
A. 24 September 2018: I thought the account wasn’t him??
Make your mind up whether it’s him or not. If you’re both making dating accounts to check on the other id say the relationship is as good as over considering you don’t trust each other.... (read in full...)
He says he's not ready to go public with our relationship
Q. I am 33 years old and my boyfriend, Joe, is 32 years old. We have been in a "secret relationship" for about 3 years now. People just think we are roommates and best friends. I am ready to let our family and friends know that we are gay and in a...
A. 23 September 2018: Secret as in he hasn’t come out yet? Or he has come out as gay but just not made public that you’re his partner?
If it’s the latter then it’s not looking promising for you I’m afraid, people who hide their ‘partner’ are usually up to no good. If... (read in full...)
15 years later I am informed I might be father. How should I handle all of this?
Q. When I was 18 years old, I had sex with a girl, Dianne, that hung out with my group of friends. She was extremely nice and cute. About two months later, she went away to college which was not a big surprise because a lot of us were going to ...
A. 23 September 2018: You sound like you have your head in the right place anyways regarding the question. All you need to do, providing you’re the father, is be there for your daughter. Give her whatever help and guidance she needs. It’s good to hear that you’re willing ... (read in full...)
Why is this married female coworker playing games?
Q. Why would married female coworker who is friendly with everyone shower me with gifts just told me she cheated on her husband before out the blue seeks me out all day but today she invites me to smoke and then ignores me and wouldn't even sit next to ...
A. 21 September 2018: Why are you even asking?
She’s married - that means she is OFF LIMITS. If she wants to cheat, let her do it with someone else, don’t be an idiot.
You’re at work to do a job that you are paid for. It’s not a dating pool. Quit the high school ... (read in full...)
Does him not being able to stay hard with me prove he isn’t attracted to me physically?
Q. I just started seeing this new guy and everything is great. We are able to talk and laugh with each other and just have a good time. He calls me beautiful and sexy and says he likes the way I look. But last night we just tried to have sex for the ...
A. 21 September 2018: If he didn’t find you attractive I don’t think he would be entertaining you.
He could suffer from erectile dysfunction. It’s very possible for younger people to have it also. He could of been nervous to be with a new partner, stressed with Wor... (read in full...)
Iv recently found out my wife has had sex with women
Q. Hi, found this site accidentally while googling my issue. Ive been with someone 28 years and married 25 years, been together since late teens, thought everything was ok but now I know isnt. Iv recently found out my wife has had sex on more that a ...
A. 21 September 2018: I don’t think it matters whether the person was Male or female. The fact here is that she’s cheated on you on multiple occasions. She’s disrespected you and your marriage in the biggest way possible.
How did you find out? What was her side of ... (read in full...)
Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second?
Q. Hi all, I went on a first date with a girl last night. We met on a dating website. I am unsure what to do next. She was a nice girl and I think the date went well. It was comfortable and conversation flowed. She said at the end that it felt lik...
A. 21 September 2018: If you didn’t feel anything major then it’s not a great sign. I think the fact that you’re having to ask for advice is whether to go on a second date says it all.
You wouldn’t be able to wait to ask her on a second date if this situation had pote... (read in full...)
How do I get the spark back it feels like we have grown apart
Q. I've been with my partner for 4 years nearly and I loved him dearly. he's a good man I get on well with all his friends and family but we went through a difficult stage for a few months recently we were arguing and it just seemed like he disagreed ...
A. 21 September 2018: How are you expecting to get the spark back with your BF if you’re speaking to another guy?
There’s no sense here whatsoever. Of course the new guy is going to be on the charm offensive, he’s going to be the nicest guy you’ve ever met! He’s try... (read in full...)
Will he come back to his senses .... and me?
Q. Hi So my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. Last year he lost his job and things were not great the fact that he never used to save or invested.I was there for him and supported him in any way I could.Last week he called Me asking h...
A. 21 September 2018: Why would you want him back?
You gave him some constructive criticism, he insulted you then bolted. You should never have to cry over someone to take you back, he’s not worth the tears.
Good riddance, you can do better. ... (read in full...)
I need to talk about what I am feeling but cant burden my family or people at work
Q. Hi, I have a dilemma and I’m starting to feel desperate I’m afraid this may be very long winded :/ but if I don’t tell someone out there how I’m feeling I will implode. First of all I should say that I have been suffering from ptsd for the last yea...
A. 21 September 2018: You do have time.
You absolutely 100% have time. This isn’t a little issue here, you are having suicidal thoughts. Do you honestly think your family wouldn’t listen to you? If you told them the extent that you’re feeling I’m sure they would do... (read in full...)
Why would my cheating wife try to contact me after 6 months of NC?
Q. Well it's been almost 7 months since my cheating wife left me for her boss. Although she never admitted to an affair I have mountains of evidence proving otherwise. Long story short... I thought I had her blocked on everything. I have been ...
A. 19 September 2018: Good to hear you’re doing well.
All the best for the future ... (read in full...)
My fiance is a virgin but I've slept with 6 people and had an abortion. Do I need to tell him all this?
Q. Hi, I am engaged to a wonderful guy from the last 5 months, we are going to get married this December 2018,I came to know by investigation and inspection and his views and thoughts and actions, that he is a virgin and he is against premarital sex ...
A. 19 September 2018: I don’t think it’s any of his business to be honest.
Your sexual past is nothing to do with anyone besides yourself. Unless of course, you have some kind of infection that can be passed on and is required by law to tell people.
Talking about... (read in full...)
Move on or try to resolve between us?
Q. Hey everyone, I've posted a while back about how to move on from my ex etc but wanting a bit advice on an update really. Long story short, me and my partner split up about 4/5 months ago now. We lived together for the majority of our relationship...
A. 18 September 2018: Congratulations on making progress and actually going ahead with councilling. I think a lot of people on this website will be advised to go down that route and just disregard it as nonsense and keep going around in the same circles, so it’s good to ... (read in full...)
Do I just forget about it since my partner hasn’t technically said anything wrong to her?
Q. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not (as I do tend to) but my partner has a work and personal phone. The other month I had to use his work phone to get a contact and I came across messages over a few days to his female colleague. It was general ...
A. 18 September 2018: I think you completely overstepped the mark here. Whilst I don’t think what she’s doing is appropriate. She now knows that this pushes your buttons so I can see her continuing down this path as it will make you look possessive to your BF and ... (read in full...)
She owes me money but is adamant she transferred the money!
Q. Hello This is not so much a dating question or anything, but I have used this website before for advice and found it helpful. A girl I have been on and off chatting to asked me if she could borrow £1000 to repair her damaged car. I agreed...
A. 17 September 2018: Did you get some kind of repayment schedule in writing? If not I think it will be hard to reclaim the money.
If you didn’t give her your bank details then it’s absolutely impossible for her to have sent you the money back. There’s no way it would... (read in full...)
Is he fully really over me when it’s only been a month?
Q. Me and my ex were together for 1 year and a bit. It was good for the majority of the time but recently he started acting up. About a few months ago he wasn’t giving me the effort I deserved and only recently he broke it off with me about a month ...
A. 17 September 2018: Maybe, maybe not. The question is, does it matter? Not really.
You should be concentrating on your own healing process, not his. Some people get over relationships quickly whereas it can take others months or years. You can’t hold it against ... (read in full...)
Why is he acting this way about my airplane ticket?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. A couple of months ago he asked me to attend his mother's birthday dinner (big family gathering at a restaurant) this upcoming weekend. I declined because I couldn't take time off from work. ...
A. 17 September 2018: I don’t think he wants to admit that he can’t afford the ticket.
He made a promise to pay and upon checking his finances realised that he can’t pay for it and is trying to stall to save face. He knows you’re in a little financial difficul... (read in full...)
I’m pregnant by a boyfriend using me for a green card! Advice needed!
Q. Hi there I am pregnant 9 weeks I’ve been dating this honderan man for almost two years. My boyfriend has been distant because he wants to get married but it’s to get his green card. He loves me but i am catholic and I want a church ceremony I’m not ...
A. 17 September 2018: Are you for real here?
You seem to be aware that he’s using you for a green card but you’re just going along with it? He very clearly doesn’t give two shits about you so why on earth would he be trying to give you the wedding you want? Why are ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother hates me and my boyfriend takes her side
Q. Recently I've been feeling distant from my boyfriend, he s not the person I fell.in love with. He critisces everything I do and makes me feel worthless, I've tried talking to him about how He s making me feel but he says he doesn't put me down that ...
A. 16 September 2018: I don’t understand why you’re still together.
He cheated on you, his mother is a massive dick and he is a massive dick. What exactly are you sticking around for? You really think having him is better than being single? Someone who constant... (read in full...)
We had sex and now I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks. Did he like me?
Q. Did he liked me? We met off Tinder? I met a guy off tinder a month half go. I am 28, he is 30. He messaged me first and I suggested meeting right away. He said okay and we met and it weird first a little because I was attracted to him and felt shy...
A. 15 September 2018: You met on a hook up app, suggested to meet straight away. Met up twice, had sex and then are wondering why he’s not been in touch?
You gave it up ridiculously easy, he has nothing to hang around for anymore. It sounded like both your meetings... (read in full...)
I feel I am not loved even though he says he does love me
Q. I've been with the same person for almost 6 years. he has never been super loving or supportive. but the last 2 years it seems like he is ignoring me more. we have had sex the entire relationship maybe 20 times. so sex less than 1 time a month. he ...
A. 15 September 2018: Sounds like he could be socially awkward or a major introvert?
Can you see your life going on like this forever? Or do you want to feel valued? He might say he doesn’t want to see other people, but do you not? You’re clearly not fulfilled or else ... (read in full...)
He says he can't predict how he will feel in the fututre
Q. I’ve been with my bf for 6 months it’s all going well we love each other a lot and planning on moving in in a month. He’s 30 and only had a handful of short term relationships (9 months max - he’s a commitment phobe and has never felt previous ...
A. 15 September 2018: What’s to stop you waking up one day and not feeling the same way anymore? Are you trying to say that you’re 100% guaranteed to love him for the rest of eternity but he’s not just because of his past?
This is a risk that absolutely EVERYBOD... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend has become obsessed about my past
Q. Hi there I ended my marriage a year ago due to domestic violence. I was married for 10 years and have 2 children out of this marriage. I'm in a long term relationship with this wonderful man - very caring, sympathetic, logical and strong minded p...
A. 14 September 2018: Doesn’t sound like you’re with the man you’re describing.
If he was that caring and sympathetic then why is he not accepting of your past? This doesn’t sound like something he’s going to get over anytime soon and it seems like he’s being very per... (read in full...)
Why block someone and not delete them?
Q. My ex and i split up 8 months ago i never thought id see or speak to him again. A couple of month back we slept together ( both wanted it ) but before we did we were talking about how we could try again. We started to talk a little more over the...
A. 14 September 2018: Because he doesn’t want to hear from you.
It’s over. He is an ex so keep him in the past, trying to rekindle old relationships is usually a terrible idea. This is for the best.... (read in full...)
Why do I get so turned off after sexual contact?
Q. I am male and am 21 years old. I'm currently on the dating scene but whenever I'm with someone it seems to be that I am lusting them and after it gets any further I get an immense feeling to be with them sexually, then after any sexual contact is ...
A. 13 September 2018: Because you’ve claimed the ‘conquest’.
You did what you came to do and had sex with the girl. What use do you have for her now? The majority of young males have the same mindset. I did when I was your age and I’d be damn sure that most of my fr... (read in full...)
I kissed my ex when on a break from my boyfriend!
Q. I need help, me and my boyfriend always break up and this time I thought we broke up for good, but no. He came back like always. But while we broke up I kissed my ex. And I feel so bad about it but I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend told me he ...
A. 13 September 2018: Instead of keep breaking up and getting back together, why not find someone that you have a continuous healthy relationship with? It’s extremely obvious that you two aren’t compatible or you wouldn’t keep going on breaks.
Can you not see that for... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...
A. 13 September 2018: How have you found out it’s not him?
This post is extremely confusing. How did you find the account in the first place? You must be on the dating website to have even noticed it. Is that correct? Then how have you come to the conclusion that it’... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...
A. 11 September 2018: How is he checking up on you if you’re not on there?
How naive are you? You’re between 36-40 years old, surely you have enough life experience to notice when someone is fucking you around?
His excuse is bullshit. Why would HE be insecure beca... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...
A. 8 September 2018: How do you know he’s on there? How certain are you that it’s him if some of the info is false?
If you know 100% it’s him then break up. What other option is there? He’s on a dating site claiming that he’s single, he doesn’t respect you and is l... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for not trusting my man?
Q. A few months ago I met this guy out of state. We really hit it off and he ended up moving in my state. He has an ex girl that he still has pictures with on social media. When she noticed that he moved to my state she immediately called him then ...
A. 8 September 2018: How long have you known each other?
Moving in after a few months is usually a recipe for disaster. You barely know each other! He could still have feelings for his ex yes, who knows besides him? He could have used this opportunity to move away fro... (read in full...)
Why would my cheating wife try to contact me after 6 months of NC?
Q. Well it's been almost 7 months since my cheating wife left me for her boss. Although she never admitted to an affair I have mountains of evidence proving otherwise. Long story short... I thought I had her blocked on everything. I have been ...
A. 2 September 2018: Things have gone tits up with the new guy and she’s realised she fucked up.
Glad to hear you blocked her, keep moving forwards. You’ve done great up until this point so carry on with it.
Best of luck... (read in full...)
| *91's friends
These are mutual friends, so *91 has
added them and they have added *91!
|
