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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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Should I reach out to him again after a long time away?
Q. Hi everyone! While working a contract gig, I developed a huge crush on someone in our building. We chatted a little bit, kind of had lunch once, but our schedules were never consistent. On my last day, he left early. I planned to ask him out for ...
A. 17 June 2018: You took the plunge, it didn’t work out, you’ve seen it’s not the end of the world.
Hopefully this has given you more confidence for the future and has shown you that rejection isn’t all that bad!
Best of luck. ... (read in full...)
I care for her no matter what our status but I want to be with her! How do I tell her?
Q. Met a girl a few months ago; she had a boyfriend then. I did too, we started developing romantic feelings for each other, acknowledged them and tried to move on by solely being friends. There was sexual tension regardless, and we kept harping on it ...
A. 6 June 2018: The thing is, you’re not respecting the boundaries, not in the slightest.
She has a BF, whether she wants to stray or not, that’s on her, but YOU are not helping matters. She has told you that you can’t be in a relationship together and then tha... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if the relationship is over or just going through a slump.
Q. Been in a long distance relationship for 4 years now.. too long. In the past 4 years, we started out visiting eachother every other month, then after 2 years, visits were every 3-4 nonths. Now we visit twice a year. In the beginning of our ...
A. 5 June 2018: It’s over.
I agree with Malvern, LDR are pointless. Why would you date someone you have no physical relationship with? Someone you speak to over a phone or video chat? It’s a waste of both parties time.
Find someone close to home that you ca... (read in full...)
I cheated in the past he doesn't trust me and now things are off. What can I do?
Q. Dear cupid,about 4years ago, i was in a long distance relationship with Ray(not his real name). The relationship didnt mean much to me because he was my rebound and the distance wasnt what i needed but at that time i wasn’t thinking. This resulted ...
A. 5 June 2018: Can you blame him? This is your own fault.
There’s nothing to salvage here, the relationship is over. You can’t be with someone you can’t trust. End things and move on. You’re wasting your time thinking this will get better.... (read in full...)
We never go anywhere and my boyfriend even sleeps in the spare room.
Q. Hi everyone I’m in a relationship now for 4 and a half years the problem is it’s so boring we never go anywhere together it’s the same routine everyday I try to get him to come places with me but he’s never interested we have only been out a handful ...
A. 4 June 2018: Yes, dump him.
Why on earth would you of put up with this for 4.5 years? What are you expecting to change? This is who he is and everyday you waste with him is another day of your life lost that could be spent with someone who you can create a... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is stingy, what should I do?
Q. I have been dating this guy for 8 months now and he doesn't get me anything, he doesn't buy me gifts, he doesn't give me money when am in need,and whenever I complain to him about it he always complain that he doesn't have money but yet he always ...
A. 2 June 2018: Why should he be paying for you?
Why aren’t you looking for a higher paying job or learning how to budget your money better? He’s a boyfriend, not a bank account.
If he wants to treat you he will do, you should not expect to be bought things be... (read in full...)
Do I keep believing him after his string of lies?
Q. Long story short, over the past month, my husband has been caught in a string of lies. First lie is when he told me he called his buddy but later found out he called a female coworker to congratulate her for this cover she got for a magazine. Odd ...
A. 2 June 2018: I’d be extremely surprised if he’s not cheating here.
Nothing adds up, his story sounds like shit and is falling to pieces whenever he’s questioned AND he’s trying to make you feel like you’re imagining all of this!
I’d be hightailing it o... (read in full...)
Been dating for 4 years but an old flame has returned, and so have the feelings.
Q. Hi everyone, I've got a serious relationship problem I really need some help with! I have been with my boyfriend for four years. He's caring, kind, affectionate and I really do love him. However, our relationship lacks passion and we have little s...
A. 31 May 2018: You need to decide what you want.
From what I’m reading it’s NOT your BF anymore and you’re excited by speaking to this new guy because it’s fresh and interesting as opposed to the mundane day to day life with your BF.
Money and holidays isn... (read in full...)
Would I be a complete cow if I don't help my ex boyfriend with his drug problems?
Q. My close friend has recently let me know that my ex boyfriend is going wild with drugs and alcohol and that he is worried about him. When I was with this boyfriend, I managed to convince him to only do drugs every so often and just weed, nothing ...
A. 31 May 2018: Absolutely not.
You don’t owe him anything. I’d say you would be foolish to get involved and get dragged back in.
If this is how the guy is dealing with it then let him do that, steer well clear and move on with your life.... (read in full...)
I’ve made an ultimatum for my cheating husband. Is it reasonable?
Q. Hello Cupids, Short question. My husband, who I have been with for 13 years, compulsively cheats on me. Last time, I kicked him out and begged him to get therapy, which he said he would. He didn’t, but kept telling me he planned to. Things got b...
A. 31 May 2018: What are you expecting to change?
He is cheating on you without consequence. What are you not understanding? Even if he agrees to all that stuff, which I have to say seems absolutely pointless, does that mean he will guaranteed stop cheating... (read in full...)
Is this over-committing to him?
Q. So some time ago I asked whether I should stand up to my parents. I basically spoke to them and came off as diplomatic as possible on the issue of dating and seeing people. the link to my previous question: ...
A. 30 May 2018: Yeah that’s a completely valid point on their behalf.
You’re the one in control of that and if you don’t let it happen then what’s the issue? Keep everything in moderation and you’ll be fine.... (read in full...)
Is this over-committing to him?
Q. So some time ago I asked whether I should stand up to my parents. I basically spoke to them and came off as diplomatic as possible on the issue of dating and seeing people. the link to my previous question: ...
A. 30 May 2018: I think you’ve misunderstand their meaning. Are you saying you think they want you to date more than 1 guy? Because that’s how I’ve read your post and I really don’t think that’s what they mean. It sounds like they don’t want you to invest all your ... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to him again after a long time away?
Q. Hi everyone! While working a contract gig, I developed a huge crush on someone in our building. We chatted a little bit, kind of had lunch once, but our schedules were never consistent. On my last day, he left early. I planned to ask him out for ...
A. 29 May 2018: Why would he need to contact you first?
You’re the one who went travelling so I’d say it’s more on you to let him know that you’re back. Why would you be embarrassed? Every time you’ve messaged him he’s replied positively.
He’s just as human as... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I know he's been texting his ex?
Q. I have been kind of talking to this guy and hooking up with him for a few weeks now, and one night we were sitting at this bar and his ex girlfriend walks by and I noticed he was staring at her for a bit. Now I only know it’s his ex girlfrie...
A. 29 May 2018: Why would you?
You’re not a couple, you’re hooking up only right? He’s moving away soon so he’s clearly not into anything for long term commitment so what response would you be expecting?
... (read in full...)
He doesn't seem interested. Should I just move on?
Q. So, I talked to a guy on plenty of fish for 2 weeks and decided to add him on fb. And now we rarely talk. He will like or heart pics of me but never write me or call me. I always initiate our conversations. Should I just unadd him and move on. I ...
A. 28 May 2018: Yes, if he wanted to talk to you he would do.... (read in full...)
Should I lie and say the baby is his?
Q. Ive made a mess but now ive got to grow up and sort it out. Me and my 'ex'boyfriend had a break , we didnt say what each other can or cant do and if we were going to get back together. I had a feeling he was seeing someone else but just left him to ...
A. 28 May 2018: Are you for real?
You don’t want any lectures because ‘these things happens’ yet you’re willing to tell a lie of this magnitude? You’d actually tell a man that a child is his when it’s not to keep the peace? That’s mind blowing to me and says a l... (read in full...)
Am I playing myself for a fool with this older guy?
Q. My boyfriend is 8 years older than me. I met him in early February while he was non exclusively dating a 21 year old .I met him in a little store near my house and one thing Led to another and now we are a couple. When i first initially met him he ...
A. 27 May 2018: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriends-over-friendly-encounter-with-his-ex.html
Your third post about the same topic??? Come on.... (read in full...)
I've had it up to here with asshole men and I just want to be a lesbian
Q. Hi DC need a little help here. I really hate men so much. They mistreat me and use me cheat on me and make me feel im not enough for them. I don't think i want to date men again i dont feel any emotion when I am with them. I don't feel much again. ...
A. 26 May 2018: This sounds like a troll to me.
But if you’re being serious then you can date whoever the hell you like (age permitting of course), who is allowed to tell you otherwise?
Do you think that women won’t cheat though? Whatever sexuality you ar... (read in full...)
Help! I’ve fallen for my friend, but I don’t know what to do about it!
Q. I was hoping if a female mind would be able to help out here because I'm in love with my best friend and I don't know if she feels the same way. I'm 23 and never had a proper relationship before so not terribly experienced! However, met thi...
A. 25 May 2018: This has disaster written all over it.
She has a BF, you suspect she likes another guy and then there’s you who is hiding your feelings. If she didn’t like her BF, she would break up with him, if she liked this other dude then she would be activ... (read in full...)
I accused my boyfriend of lying and now he won't talk to me
Q. Ok, so I'm not in a really good place right now and I'm hoping for some help. My bf is a super sweet guy but he can also be emotionally distant and introverted. I don't like this part of him and I feel insecure because of it. I'm trying to f...
A. 24 May 2018: Yep, you sound crazy.
What a bizarre thing to pick as evidence of your partner possibly cheating.
1. Why are you with him if you don’t trust him?
2. Why is he staying with you if this is what he has to put up with?
Get a grip. Either break ... (read in full...)
Was my co worker trying to start an affair with me?
Q. I'm friendly and cordial to this co worker who works in the same department with me,just like everyone else. He got my number from the office so he texts me outside work when he wants to exchange shifts.However,lately he has been been sendin...
A. 24 May 2018: You did well setting him straight.
If he continues any further I would make it clear that I wouldn’t be afraid to take this matter to HR and file a complaint. Call records of all messages and stick to your guns that he needs to stop.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is extremely shy, but can put on fake confidence which is starting to worry me
Q. I don't get my boyfriend lately. After being together for nearly 2 years, i feel that I don't really know who he is sometimes. When we first met until about a year, he was VERY insecure, very shy. The type that would hunch over while walking. And ...
A. 24 May 2018: You’re way overthinking here.
Your BF has done what was asked of him and you’re wondering if he’s lying to you about other parts of the relationship. What other indications has he given to you to support that theory?
If there’s nothing then you... (read in full...)
We never have alone time. Is he taking me forgranted?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months. He has two kids and so do I. I always find someone to watch my kids when he comes home. He works on the road. The problem is he never takes me out. He has family that can watch his kids. He never does. ...
A. 24 May 2018: Well have you ever told him you want to go out?
People aren’t mind readers so unless you say something then he thinks everything is fine. Why would he change something that seems to be working?
If you’re not happy, tell him. ... (read in full...)
Me vs his ex, is his behavior a red flag?
Q. To keep it short, my bf was showing me some pictures of him, and when he was going through different albums I happen to see an album cover which had the picture of his ex wife,besides this picture they send text messages to each other/communicate on ...
A. 24 May 2018: I get that it’s possible to remain friends with exes, but to this extent where he’s going to help her with things still? I wouldn’t be okay with that either.
I’d be honest with him, tell him how you feel about it and give him chance to explain ... (read in full...)
I’m completely confused about my feelings for him!
Q. Hello.... i am in the midst of a total dilemma romantically which is being worsened by the fact that i have so little trust in my own feelings and judgement. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months. He is very kind and lovely, treats me well, is ...
A. 24 May 2018: End it.
Don’t string the poor guy along. It really doesn’t take a lot to know whether you want to be with someone. If it’s got to this extent where you question your love for him, don’t want to sleep with him and think about other people then it’... (read in full...)
I want to break things off with him before he breaks my heart
Q. I have a feeling that my boyfriend is having second thoughts about us and I want to break off the relationship before he can break my heart. We were just chatting on WhatsApp on Saturday and I guess everything was OK. The following day when I check ...
A. 24 May 2018: Avoid like the plague.
I’d tell him things are over and you’re not playing childish games. Block him then move on. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is extremely shy, but can put on fake confidence which is starting to worry me
Q. I don't get my boyfriend lately. After being together for nearly 2 years, i feel that I don't really know who he is sometimes. When we first met until about a year, he was VERY insecure, very shy. The type that would hunch over while walking. And ...
A. 23 May 2018: I have to echo honeypies advice.
YOU asked him to make more effort, he’s done that and now you don’t trust him anymore? Where’s the logic in that?
You knew what he was like when you met him. It’s very unfair and and rude to ask someone to chang... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's over-friendly encounter with his ex has me worried
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for over a month. He broke up with his ex in January not sure the reason why. I met him in February and by the third week of March we were a couple. Today while in the store with my boyfriend we saw his ex. S...
A. 23 May 2018: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-does-it-seem-like-my-boyfriend-is.html
What happened to breaking up with him?... (read in full...)
I'm constantly worried my boyfriend has/will cheat on me and I'm going insane thinking what on earth happened while he was on that cruise without me
Q. My boyfriend went on a cruise ship with his (male) friends last week. I expected it to be hard. I was a bit moody during the first day he was there, but the remaining 6 days I felt fine about the fact that he was having fun. He kept in touch wi...
A. 23 May 2018: I can never understand this kind of stuff. How can you be with someone you don’t trust? How can you live wondering what your partner is up to all the time? I can’t even begin to understand the levels of stress that would add to normal daily life, ... (read in full...)
Can a devout Catholic male can be friends with a transgender girl?
Q. I am wondering if it is possible that a devout Catholic male can be friends with a transgender girl (she was born a boy but transition to a girl)? I did not know she was transgender until after we got to know each other. I enjoy her company but...
A. 23 May 2018: Of course you can.
You can be friends with anyone: Male, female, gay, straight, black, white, Christian, Sikh it doesn’t matter.
If you want to be friends with someone then so be it, why would you NOT be able to because of religion? That w... (read in full...)
Recently there is a lack of trust from both sides!
Q. I'm in a relationship and have been with the boy for 6 months. We had a very good start to our relationship other than a few anger issues he had where he would get too angry too easily. Beside this it was pretty much perfect. Recently he found out ...
A. 22 May 2018: End it.
He doesn’t trust you, he’s insecure and has anger issues. All the ingredients for an absolute disaster. I can’t see why his mother wouldn’t want to meet you either, so somethings definitely a miss there.
I think you’ll be setting yours... (read in full...)
I don't want to lead her on, but I don't want to flat out reject her as I don't want to hurt her that way either
Q. Dear all I need some advice. I met a girl online several months ago, as a language exchange. That was all I was looking for and her too i believe. We get along great and have learned a lot together. Our personalities are very similar, lots of ...
A. 22 May 2018: She isn’t happy to be friends. That’s an absolute lie.
No one on this earth is happy to be friends which someone that they’re romantically interested in. She’s saying that because she doesn’t want to lose you fully and she’s one day hoping t... (read in full...)
Why does it seem like my boyfriend is stringing along his ex ?
Q. My boyfriend is 31 his ex is 21 and I’m 23 , my current boyfriend of two months left a girl he was dating in February to be with me. He told me he complained to her about standing up to her family and she never did it and how her family didn’t even ...
A. 21 May 2018: You don’t trust him for a start or else you wouldn’t be going through his phone. This relationship was clearly not meant to be.... (read in full...)
He's addicted to sex sites and internet dating. I want my old man back!
Q. My live in man of 20 yes he is addictied to internet dating and sex sites.his treatment of me in last couple months he says not doing anything but he is I am a worthless I have tried everything just to get him to come bed with me he say ok then ...
A. 21 May 2018: Why would you waste your time trying to win back a disrespectful asshole? He lives in your house and takes the piss out of you daily. Get rid.... (read in full...)
I don’t want to cut off this friend, but his behavior feels selfish and manipulative? Or is it me who is being childish and needy?
Q. I have a friend who I used to consider a best friend. He isa very charming person but also totally hypocritical and self interested, at other times eh can be selfless. We used to spend a lot of time together. Recently, with no notice to me his ...
A. 20 May 2018: I’m not seeing what you like about him from this post.
He sounds like a user or that he’s trying to boost his ego by making it look like he has lots of friends and people there that will drop everything to suit him. There’s a guy i know that we ... (read in full...)
I don’t feel a spark with her but I still had sex with her!
Q. Me and this girl broke up a while ago, after about a month she came over to play some video games and chat. It was getting real late and she was getting tired so I offered her to stay the night. During that we began cuddling and making out and it ...
A. 20 May 2018: Simple.
Stop having sex with her. It’s not fair to play with someone’s emotions especially when you KNOW they like you. It’s easy to make them do what you want when they have feelings for you. It will happen to you one day though, you will get... (read in full...)
Why does my married boyfriend love me one day and hate me the next?
Q. Hi. I have been in a "relationship" with a married man for approximately 5 years. Before I begin, I am asking not to be judged. I truly and honestly go through enough pain because of the situation I put myself in. And I know what everyone here will ...
A. 18 May 2018: If you’ve read DC for years then how are you still in this situation?
The guy is a piece of shit, I have absolutely no sympathy for cheaters. I hate them, it’s the absolute lowest of the low to be able to stare a partner or spouse in the face and... (read in full...)
Should I ask for the money again or just let it go and block her?
Q. Hi everyone. I know this lady for few years and I can’t call her my friend but we hangout for a coffee sometimes. I find her cheap, not that she is not spending but just her attitude towards money. 2 months ago she was asking to attend an event ...
A. 18 May 2018: I doubt you’ll get the money back also.
All you can do is keep asking until she feels nagged into doing it. I wouldn’t immediately jump to the fact that she’s asking for your bank details as a scam also, my friends and I quite often share bank det... (read in full...)
He hasn’t initiated a date and I’m wondering if I’m being played!
Q. Hello everyone! So I’ve been on a few dates with this guy, who I really like! He’s a mutual friend, but I don’t know much about him. The first date was good, we had plenty to talk about but we were trying to impress each other quite a lot b...
A. 18 May 2018: I’m pretty sure you asked a question not so long ago in regards to going to see the band.
You really need to relax. YOU are the one who’s going to sabotage the situation if you carry on. You still seem as uptight as you did in your last question... (read in full...)
Should I keep in touch and message him from time to time? Or leave it to him? And how long are we on hold for?
Q. i met someone in february at a friends party and we hit it off immediately, only he suffers from mental health issues because of a past abusive relationship anyway recently my mum had a go at him through Facebook for going to see his friend instead ...
A. 18 May 2018: I’d give this one up.
If you’re arguing at the early stage it’s not meant to be. Tell mum to keep her nose out in future, you’re not a baby. ... (read in full...)
Why does it seem like my boyfriend is stringing along his ex ?
Q. My boyfriend is 31 his ex is 21 and I’m 23 , my current boyfriend of two months left a girl he was dating in February to be with me. He told me he complained to her about standing up to her family and she never did it and how her family didn’t even ...
A. 17 May 2018: I don’t think anyone mentioned anything remotely close to that. It sounds like that’s the conclusion you’ve come up with to justify his behaviour.
The guy is disrespecting YOU, whilst toying with his ex. He flirted with her in YOUR presence... (read in full...)
I don't think this party girl is girlfriend material. Should I break up?
Q. I'm 32 years old my girlfriend is22. We're dating for four months and I still have doubts about her if she is gf material to me. Bottom line is she's a party girl, to me a girl who likes to party and drink and have sex with a lot of dudes is not ...
A. 17 May 2018: Edit:
If she wants to date casually then so be it, what’s wrong with that? She’s enjoying herself and certainly doesn’t need to be judged by someone that’s self admittedly done the exact same things. ... (read in full...)
I don't think this party girl is girlfriend material. Should I break up?
Q. I'm 32 years old my girlfriend is22. We're dating for four months and I still have doubts about her if she is gf material to me. Bottom line is she's a party girl, to me a girl who likes to party and drink and have sex with a lot of dudes is not ...
A. 17 May 2018: End it.
You’re absolutely not compatible, you should be able to see that from reading your own post. You’re right about the double standards, you’ve done all the things she’s currently doing and have the cheek to say you think she’s not worthy. ... (read in full...)
Why does it seem like my boyfriend is stringing along his ex ?
Q. My boyfriend is 31 his ex is 21 and I’m 23 , my current boyfriend of two months left a girl he was dating in February to be with me. He told me he complained to her about standing up to her family and she never did it and how her family didn’t even ...
A. 17 May 2018: So if you think everything is fine why are you asking for advice? I’m not sure what answers you’re looking for. If you’re happy with him then continue your relationship and forget about his ex.... (read in full...)
Why does it seem like my boyfriend is stringing along his ex ?
Q. My boyfriend is 31 his ex is 21 and I’m 23 , my current boyfriend of two months left a girl he was dating in February to be with me. He told me he complained to her about standing up to her family and she never did it and how her family didn’t even ...
A. 16 May 2018: I think the real question here is why you’re still entertaining him.
I think you can see yourself that you’re in a very odd situation but you sound like you’re getting a little defensive. You wouldn’t be asking these questions if somethin... (read in full...)
Why does it seem like my boyfriend is stringing along his ex ?
Q. My boyfriend is 31 his ex is 21 and I’m 23 , my current boyfriend of two months left a girl he was dating in February to be with me. He told me he complained to her about standing up to her family and she never did it and how her family didn’t even ...
A. 15 May 2018: He knows her family don’t like him so I doubt he would get back with her, but he seems like he’s loving the attention. He’s probably a narcissist and loves that she’s begging for him back, that will do wonders for his ego.
You’ve been dragged ... (read in full...)
Why does it seem like my boyfriend is stringing along his ex ?
Q. My boyfriend is 31 his ex is 21 and I’m 23 , my current boyfriend of two months left a girl he was dating in February to be with me. He told me he complained to her about standing up to her family and she never did it and how her family didn’t even ...
A. 15 May 2018: Isn’t him getting into a relationship with you 10 days after breaking up with someone else a red flag to you?
You’re a rebound, he’s using you to get to her. He sounds extremely childish to be doing things like this at his age. I’d steer well cle... (read in full...)
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