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"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
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| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
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I walked a strange girl home. Would it be okay to ask her out?
Q. I am a grad student at a major US university. One evening not too long ago I was headed home from a long night in the lab (after midnight) when I came across a young woman wearing heels and a dress who approached me. She said that she had been at...
A. 5 August 2018: I have to agree with code warrior. Get off your high horse man: ‘help her make better choices’? Are you mr perfect?
How do you know she didn’t leave the party because he friends were doing things that she didn’t approve of? She left because ... (read in full...)
I was insensitive and hurt my g/f. She broke up with me and I don't know how to make it up to her
Q. My ex broke up with me yesterday. She was my first relationship after 4 years. I was her first boyfriend. Weve been together for 3 months and in that time span ive already made her cry 5 times.She's such a sweet and pure girl. She gave me all her ...
A. 1 August 2018: Stop thinking about any form of contact or relationship with her. Leave her alone full stop, don’t try to play the victim here acting like you’re sad and upset, YOU created this mess. She was your GF and you were completely insensitive to her, this ... (read in full...)
I was insensitive and hurt my g/f. She broke up with me and I don't know how to make it up to her
Q. My ex broke up with me yesterday. She was my first relationship after 4 years. I was her first boyfriend. Weve been together for 3 months and in that time span ive already made her cry 5 times.She's such a sweet and pure girl. She gave me all her ...
A. 31 July 2018: It’s over, accept it.
You were an asshole with her. What the hell kind of comment was that to make? Why would she want to be with someone that quite clearly treats her like shit? Leave her alone and grow the fuck up before thinking about getting ... (read in full...)
I rejected my ideal guy years ago, and now he's with someone else and it's driving me crazy. Help!
Q. Hey, I'm writing this partly to get it off my chest and partly because I need to change something about this situation, even if it's just my way of thinking about it. 5 years ago I was single, much more stupid than I am now, and met a brillia...
A. 30 July 2018: Terrible idea.
Would you like some girl to be trying to ‘Make something happen’ with your BF of 5 years?
You had you choice of who to pick and you chose the ‘wrong’ one. Who’s to say a relationship would work even if you were together? If you... (read in full...)
Why are some women adamantly against their husband/boyfriends looking at porn?
Q. I'm just a bit curious. It seems that to some women the worst sin a man can commit is looking at porn and I don't get it. They are just images on a screen of women he most likely will never meet or ever have a chance with. The chances of ...
A. 29 July 2018: Some partners don’t like the thought of their other half getting off to the image of another person. It can bring up insecurities such as why does my partner need to look at someone else rather than me? ‘Are they better looking?’ ‘Why is he with me ... (read in full...)
Any good tips on moving on?
Q. Me and my boyfriend broke up about 2 months ago now and I still think about it every single day. It ended really badly where I knew there were issues I was willing to work on and he wasn't ready to take any blame on his side. He was happy to say it ...
A. 29 July 2018: Start by removing him and anything else that could bring his name up on social media e.g friends accounts, tagged photos etc. Get absolutely all social media out of the way and block all accounts so he can’t contact you either.
The best thing to... (read in full...)
Are my parents right to punish me with a prison type punishment ?
Q. IS IT RIGHT THAT MY PARENTS HAVE PUT ME IN PRISON ? AND ARE THEY BEING MEAN FOR NOT LETTING ME GO OUT INTO OUR GARDEN ? I got caught shoplifting, my parents said they don't want to see me go to jail, so are punishing me severely, they h...
A. 29 July 2018: The important question here is WHY are you stealing? Tell us the reason behind it. Did you just decide to do it yourself or influenced by friends?
Shoplifting is against the law as you well know. Broken laws can end up in jail time and as you’ve t... (read in full...)
Lack of sex has made me cheat on my partner. Do I just leave him?
Q. Hi My partner of 6 yrs does not have sex with me at all. He says he just can't be arsed and does not have any interest in sex. I have lived like this for 5 yrs with him. I the first yr he rarely did have sex with me. We are 50 and 51. I have s...
A. 29 July 2018: If you want a sexual relationship then why would you stay with someone that doesn’t offer that? Stop cheating on your partner, that’s the lowest of the low. If he doesn’t fulfill your needs, leave!
Be with whoever makes you happy. It’s pretty s... (read in full...)
We have slept together on several occasions but now he says he sees us as friends?
Q. I’d been seeing someone for about 3 months, still obviously early days but I really liked him and I made quite a big step by sleeping with him (due to bad experiences). Anyway about 2 weeks ago he got ill and has been recovering since, he’s okay but ...
A. 28 July 2018: He wants something casual. Not much else to it.
Sleeping with someone doesn’t mean anything. You need to find out people’s intentions before jumping into bed with them. ... (read in full...)
Not interested in a boyfriend. Is that okay?
Q. Im 25 and i never had a boyfriend. Since my teenage years, i was never worried about dating or having a boyfriend, i would only focus my self on studying and making myself happy. I started going on dates since i was 19, and i would say, we would go ...
A. 28 July 2018: Nope, nothing wrong.
I’m 26 and didn’t have my first GF until this age. I always enjoyed the freedom that I had but then got to a point where I felt ready to settle down and met the right girl. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re odd beca... (read in full...)
Do I tell my parents that my friend is dating a man 30 years her senior?
Q. my friend is in a relationship with a man 30 years old then her , ive known him for nearly a year no and I know age is just a number but I still find it so strange but I have accepted that is she is happy being with someone a lot older then her then ...
A. 27 July 2018: Why would you need to announce this?
On what planet does this concern your parents? You’re 18-21, you’re an adult, your parents don’t decide who your friends are and who you spend your time with. If they have a negative opinion on the matter t... (read in full...)
I feel the need to have a child but I want it to be my lover's not my husband's
Q. DO NOT JUDGE I am female, 34 years..i am married to a man-boy kinda of husband (45 years) who has no clue how to raise children..we have two..one mine and the first one is his...his past time is drinking....but he come through with finances......
A. 27 July 2018: I’m sorry but this is ridiculous.
How on earth would having a baby with someone you’re having an affair with help anything? How would you explain that to your family and friends? If you don’t love your husband then leave him. I’m guessing you mean... (read in full...)
Fallen for a hook up does he like me?
Q. I hooked up with this guy and really really like him! I had had his number for a while but never met up then one day I just said let’s meet. We met, slept together we spoke a little, he told me some of his likes little bit about his family, ...
A. 27 July 2018: Sorry to burst your bubble, but I can’t see this progressing anywhere.
You slept together the first time you met him. In gonna take a guess that he’s now thrown you onto the easy pile. The fact that he agrees to meet and then doesn’t go through ... (read in full...)
We moved in way too quickly and now finances are breaking us apart
Q. Hey all.. Before I start, please don’t include judgement saying I shouldn’t be living with him yet, it’s too soon to have introduced him to my daughter, etc. So, my boyfriend and I have been dating 6 months. We moved in together rather quickly ...
A. 27 July 2018: Anonymous is right. What do you want us to tell you? Make up a reason why it’s not working so you don’t get your feelings hurt? You have moved him in too soon.
You moved in before you knew anything about the guy. You were still practica... (read in full...)
We've been online dating for 9 months and he just now knows I'm a virgin. Is he upset to not know sooner?
Q. i have been dating this man for 9 months online. he has recently, within the last week, been so shocked to hear that i am a virgin. i sense that he is angry at me for revealing this piece of info now- not months ago. lack of trust maybe i d...
A. 27 July 2018: Wiseowl is spot on. Why would he be angry?
Hearing that someone between age 30-35 is a virgin can be a shock for sure. But a reason to get angry? No chance. If you’re correct and he is angry then this is a perfect time to dip out of the situatio... (read in full...)
He said he gave me a test, I call it pure BS
Q. The other day the gut I've seeing for a couple of months asked if its OK if he still sleeps with other women I got really upset andsaid no it ruined the nice night we were having. now he's saying but he only said that to test if I was serious about ...
A. 27 July 2018: Extremely strange way to ‘test’ someone.
I’d test if he could find someone else by removing him from my life. Sounds like he is testing the waters to sleep with multiple people and came up with a lame excuse when you called him out.... (read in full...)
My friend never has time for me anymore since she started dating. Do I walk away?
Q. Not sure if anyone on here can help but I wanted some advice about a friendship. One of my best friends has recently become very distant and so reluctant to see me. I've been trying to arrange to see her one weekend for several months but I jus...
A. 26 July 2018: Some people become that way when they start dating. I’ve had many friends over the years that have disappeared off the face of the earth when they get a partner. She may be a close friend but she’s clearly showing where her priorities lie and you’re ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever had a break with their partner and what was the outcome?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half and last night he told me he wasn’t feeling the same. We had a talk about this a few weeks ago and had planned to work it out. But he had told me last night that he didn’t want to keep it ...
A. 26 July 2018: The relationship is over.
I’m another believer that breaks are a load of rubbish. It’s an easier way of working towards a break up. It makes it sound like the initiator is doing everything they can do to prevent the relationship ending but if t... (read in full...)
I'm too shy to tell my boyfriend that some dominant sex acts are painful to me
Q. My boyfriend have always been into dominant sex. Recently, he was asking me to slap him during sex, i found it really odd but i did anyways. We do love each other, however, his dominance in bed is sometimes painful. Im too shy to tell him to calm ...
A. 25 July 2018: Would you let someone walk up to you everyday and punch you in the face if they wanted to? I highly doubt it, so why would you let someone hurt you during sex?
If you can’t openly discuss sex with your partner then are you sure that you’re r... (read in full...)
How can I tell this online friends to just leave me alone?
Q. Hello I have an issue with a guy I met on Facebook. He is from Africa and talks a lot. I talk to him sometimes just to be friendly. He tells me hes in love and wants me to visit him there. I havent agreed to do anything with him or ever told...
A. 23 July 2018: Why haven’t you blocked him.
He DOESNT want an occasional chat. He wants to chat EVERYTIME he sees your name. You have even described him as obsessed. Isn’t that time to cut the contact? You’re clearly on different wavelengths.... (read in full...)
Why did my ex send me flowers? We broke up 6 months ago
Q. Why did my ex send me flowers we broke up 6 months ago I blocked his number and we both agreed to no contact. He moved to another county. We dated for 1.5+ I did not say thank you or anything when he sent the flowers. I know I should of that’s...
A. 23 July 2018: He doesn’t want you to forget him.
You have told us what kind of person he is and he’s exhibiting that behaviour still. He knows this would confuse you so that’s exactly why he’s done it. Expecting you to message him, knowing he has grabbed ... (read in full...)
Should I block/delete/or give him a chance?
Q. I think i already know what advice i will be given but sometimes it helps being told what i wouldnt really want to know. A friend with benefits got back in contact with me recently we are both still very single. He told me he wants to be more ...
A. 23 July 2018: Of course you tell him to jog on.
He wants to marry you but can’t text back for 2 days? The guy is a complete messer. He’s a jobless bum that I’m guessing is in a similar age bracket to you, so I’m struggling to see how you think he’s a good cat... (read in full...)
It looks like he's interested in me but then why doesn't he approach me?
Q. There is this guy at my local gym who I have seen for months now and I am very attracted to him and I think he feels the same way. His 24 and I'm 21 (to put things into perspective), he has had his friends 'stake' me out from afar, watching what I ...
A. 23 July 2018: How do you know he has asked his friends to ‘stake’ you out? How can you tell if he’s asked his friends if you’re looking? Is he that close you can hear what he’s saying? If so then I’d say it’s a little childish on his end. You’re a human being ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend that I'm done with him?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year. Everything was great at the beginning, however, the past few months I've been feeling very turned off and disappointed by him. He had always claimed he's the good guy, until he was out with his ...
A. 22 July 2018: Why fix things?
He acts like a child. He was a dickhead with you and then decides he is in love with you when you realise what an ass he is. He’s already done it twice and you said there wouldn’t be a second time. If you keep letting him back in ... (read in full...)
How can I approach an actress for an autograph when she's unfriendly?
Q. I’m going to see a favorite theater show at the theater in 2 weeks,. I’d like to say hi and get a photo with 1 of the co actors at stage door after. she’s known for being cold/unfriendly and aloof. She’s very talented and has a sma...
A. 22 July 2018: Does her behaviour sound like someone’s that wants to asked for a picture after the show?
Respect her wishes, leave her be. ... (read in full...)
Why did my married ex boyfriend snap just like that? I desperately want him back in my life!
Q. I met a guy at work 9 years ago. We flirted and had fun but he was married. We worked together and once we kissed in his office and ended up having sex. I have never done anything like this before. I was madly in love with him from this first kiss. ...
A. 20 July 2018: Are you for real?
You seem to have absolutely no common sense whatsoever. You’re considering marrying someone who’s controlling to try and get over someone else? That could possibly be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Borderline crazy in... (read in full...)
Help me deal with my provoking ex!
Q. My ex broke up with me a few months ago and we were together for almost 3 years, but since she broke up with me she has been trying to make me jealous or intentionally hurt and/or provoke me. I dont know what to do, I know she is into me but she ...
A. 19 July 2018: Why did you break up?
It seems a little odd that SHE would initiate the breakup and then continue to try and pester you.
The best thing to do here? Move on with your life. Let her play her childish games. She won’t do it anymore if it’s ... (read in full...)
Why did my married ex boyfriend snap just like that? I desperately want him back in my life!
Q. I met a guy at work 9 years ago. We flirted and had fun but he was married. We worked together and once we kissed in his office and ended up having sex. I have never done anything like this before. I was madly in love with him from this first kiss. ...
A. 19 July 2018: If he planned for you to be together then why aren’t you? You’re both single. Get your head out the clouds. STOP trying to justify his behaviour, he uses you for sex and nothing more. If he wanted something serious he’s had years to make it known, ... (read in full...)
Why did my married ex boyfriend snap just like that? I desperately want him back in my life!
Q. I met a guy at work 9 years ago. We flirted and had fun but he was married. We worked together and once we kissed in his office and ended up having sex. I have never done anything like this before. I was madly in love with him from this first kiss. ...
A. 17 July 2018: You need to get a grip.
The guy is a lowlife cheat. You are WASTING YOUR LIFE pining over someone who doesn’t give a fuck about you. You are someone to get into bed. Who cares if he’s sensitive when he’s with you? It’s not hard to act that way... (read in full...)
I don’t know how to move on! Advice?
Q. I still love him and can’t move on.? We broke up after almost 2 years because I tolerated his abusive behaviour, emotionally and verbally. I broke up because I couldn’t take the nasty words and he said he wished I died. A week later he texts me...
A. 17 July 2018: What do you love? Give us a few things you love about him.
His insults? Wishes of death upon you? He sounds like a real catch. Do you think this is all you deserve? Really? Do you think this is what love is? That you abuse your partner until th... (read in full...)
What would you do in my situation? Travel first or settle down now, travel in retirement?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a man for a year. I'm pretty happy with this guy. We've had ups and downs, but overall things are good between us. We love each other. We have a holiday booked together and are planning to move in together. Howeve...
A. 17 July 2018: Unfortunately I’d say the relationship will be close to its end.
You want completely different things in life it seems. You will regret not travelling and very likely grow to resent your BF if you don’t take the experience in the hopes of continui... (read in full...)
I decided that I wouldn’t text him again but he keeps checking out my social media posts! Any advice?
Q. It's like a one sided love at 1st sight, but idk , am into someone , am obsessed with him as hell .. we were chatting for more than a year then we met , well he kissed me it was soft coz I didn't want to especially that was our 1st meeting then we ...
A. 17 July 2018: What is there to be confused about? He’s looking for an easy fuck, there’s no hidden agenda here.
Block him, job done.... (read in full...)
My best friend is dating my younger sister!
Q. my best freind has started going out with my little sister (20) and im realy jelouse about it. some back story, me and my best freind we'll call him Tim, we're both 27 and have been mates for about 26 years. anyway about six months back my l...
A. 17 July 2018: Why would you tell him?
That would be incredibly selfish. YOU gave your sister the green light, you can’t then decide to sabotage her relationship because you don’t like it. You have been friends with Tim for 26 years. Don’t you think that if ... (read in full...)
This confusing guy is sending mixed signals!
Q. So I met this guy off a gay dating app. We had tremendously good sex. As he left my house he told me he "really wanted" to see me again. He lives in a different city and for a hook up from an app, it was brave of him to say that. I asked him when he ...
A. 16 July 2018: It’s clear as day really.
If he was interested he would make it known. Who takes 3 weeks to reply to someone that they’re romantically interested in? Think about it.... (read in full...)
What does he want? Is there something here or just a sexual relationship?
Q. Going back about 4-5 months ago, I met a guy one night out at a bar. We are 5 years age difference, I'm 22 and he's 27. We immediately slept together that night. We kind of clicked quite well and he got my number, stayed in contact with me and we ...
A. 16 July 2018: Why would you not ask him? We couldn’t possibly answer the question.
You hooked up on the first night you met, I wouldn’t get my hopes up. For a lot of guys that’s a sign of someone who would do that with a lot of people. I will say that if he wa... (read in full...)
I feel stuck because of his lodger! What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I in early 60s, have been together 5 years, but nothing is moving on because he has a female lodger in her 40s been there 25 years! Pays little rent, no household bills and keeps dogs. She wont move out, we gave her 6 months notice, ...
A. 16 July 2018: I have to agree that the OP is just discounting most things that are being said.
There’s 2 options here it’s really simple, you put up with the situation or you leave the guy. He will NOT change what’s going on. You’ve let it happen for 5 years so... (read in full...)
I overheard my wife saying that her ex was the best sex she'd ever had and now my ego is shattered!
Q. So my ego has been devastated and I really don’t know how to handle this. Turns out I’m not the best sex my wife has ever had. Any advice is appreciated. About a week ago my wife had one of her friends at our house for some drinks. After ha...
A. 11 July 2018: Why would this make you a loser?
I think if you were really that terrible in the bedroom that your wife would definitely not stuck around. It’s a fact that there is ALWAYS someone better out there than us at something. There’s nothing that can... (read in full...)
I'm married he's married why can't I just walk away?
Q. I am married and have been with a married man for 4 and a half years. He has continually asked me to marry him, sent me houses online and tells me that we are ‘one’ and meant to be . I have asked him to leave and be with me and he says he is not ...
A. 10 July 2018: You’re meant to be but he won’t leave his wife? Don’t you see how contradictory that is?
Why don’t you leave the husband you clearly don’t love before jumping into bed with the first guy that shows you some attention? Where’s your conscien... (read in full...)
Is oral sex just this amazing?
Q. I have been with my fiancee for 9 years I'm 31 she's 29. Last night she allowed me to go down on her for the first time. It was the first oral experience for both of us, by that I mean her receiving and me giving. My question is, is it normal for me ...
A. 9 July 2018: Why would pleasuring your partner not be a normal feeling?
You either prefer giving or receiving. Of course it’s completely fine to enjoy giving oral more than receiving. It’s like preferring tea over coffee, everyone likes different things... (read in full...)
Not sure I feel the same as my ex he wants to try again
Q. An ex recently got back in touch with me after 7 months. He wanted to see me so i agreed and went to his . We talked about stuff and they way he was saying things and what he was saying is he wants to start again . When we were in a relationship ...
A. 9 July 2018: Move on.
Why revisit the past? It didn’t work the first time so why would a second time be any different? Move forwards with your life, not backwards.... (read in full...)
He’s ignoring me all of a sudden! How do I react?
Q. I’m 27 from UK and recently reconnected with my ex from 7 years ago who I broke up with. We had an amazing couple of days together rekindling and we’ve been very romantic since. Awkward part - he lives in America right now for work. He has men...
A. 7 July 2018: I think the main question here is why are you revisiting an ex? You broke up for a reason. Something about you both didn’t work for you to break up so what’s different this time?
The whole situation just sounds like too much hard work. Leave ex... (read in full...)
I feel stuck because of his lodger! What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I in early 60s, have been together 5 years, but nothing is moving on because he has a female lodger in her 40s been there 25 years! Pays little rent, no household bills and keeps dogs. She wont move out, we gave her 6 months notice, ...
A. 6 July 2018: If he truly wanted a serious future with you, this woman would be gone. No man who loves someone would put them through uncertainty of this magnitude. He’s hiding something and only he knows what. ... (read in full...)
I feel stuck because of his lodger! What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I in early 60s, have been together 5 years, but nothing is moving on because he has a female lodger in her 40s been there 25 years! Pays little rent, no household bills and keeps dogs. She wont move out, we gave her 6 months notice, ...
A. 4 July 2018: I have to agree with anon.
You are in denial here big time. It’s nothing to do with her ‘winning’. The question here is why is your BF valuing a lodger above your relationship? There’s a reason he won’t get rid of her and I’d be very surprise... (read in full...)
I feel stuck because of his lodger! What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I in early 60s, have been together 5 years, but nothing is moving on because he has a female lodger in her 40s been there 25 years! Pays little rent, no household bills and keeps dogs. She wont move out, we gave her 6 months notice, ...
A. 3 July 2018: It’s hard to believe he respects his GFs wishes less than a woman that he lets lounge around his home. I don’t see there being a future here unless you want there to be another woman there for the rest of your life. I’d be very surprised if there’s ... (read in full...)
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