Like what
he writes?
... Add *91 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *91 a private message | | | *91's profile:"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"
"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".
'If you're going through hell, keep going'
I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth. |
|
| Latest articles: Afraid to commit
No replies yet... 8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...
Thank you DC!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...
Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...
|
Am I wrong for not trusting my man?
Q. A few months ago I met this guy out of state. We really hit it off and he ended up moving in my state. He has an ex girl that he still has pictures with on social media. When she noticed that he moved to my state she immediately called him then ...
A. 27 September 2018: Well you’re still checking his phone after being advised not to and you’re asking strangers on the internet whether to trust the guy or not. It’s quite evident that you will never trust what the guy has to say and will always be checking up on ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...
A. 24 September 2018: I thought the account wasn’t him??
Make your mind up whether it’s him or not. If you’re both making dating accounts to check on the other id say the relationship is as good as over considering you don’t trust each other.... (read in full...)
Why would my cheating wife try to contact me after 6 months of NC?
Q. Well it's been almost 7 months since my cheating wife left me for her boss. Although she never admitted to an affair I have mountains of evidence proving otherwise. Long story short... I thought I had her blocked on everything. I have been ...
A. 19 September 2018: Good to hear you’re doing well.
All the best for the future ... (read in full...)
I kissed my ex when on a break from my boyfriend!
Q. I need help, me and my boyfriend always break up and this time I thought we broke up for good, but no. He came back like always. But while we broke up I kissed my ex. And I feel so bad about it but I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend told me he ...
A. 13 September 2018: Instead of keep breaking up and getting back together, why not find someone that you have a continuous healthy relationship with? It’s extremely obvious that you two aren’t compatible or you wouldn’t keep going on breaks.
Can you not see that for... (read in full...)
My brother finally introduced us to his fiance - she's my ex!
Q. My brother has recently introduced the family to his new fiancée - but there's a massive issue. Basically he lives away and none of us have met her before - we only knew her name. We were all excited to meet her - but when he introduced her to ...
A. 13 September 2018: This could get all kinds of fucked up if it gets any further.
You need to tell your brother immediately. End this now. How bizarre would it be for your brother to be married to your ex and he become the step father to his niece? How would this eve... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...
A. 13 September 2018: How have you found out it’s not him?
This post is extremely confusing. How did you find the account in the first place? You must be on the dating website to have even noticed it. Is that correct? Then how have you come to the conclusion that it’... (read in full...)
My husband has blocked me on his phone and adds, texts other women
Q. Hi aunts I got my second marriage and I got trust issues now because my first marriage ended with betrayal and I am afraid this might turn up in same manner. I don't understand if all men do this. My husband is always checking his Facebook account...
A. 12 September 2018: Because he’s looking to cheat?
Normal people who are happy in their relationship don’t do this. Unless you’re going to accept that he’s a lying scumbag then your only option is to leave. You have caught him at it before and he hasn’t changed ... (read in full...)
I dumped my boyfriend for sponging off of me but now I feel guilty
Q. I’ve been dating this guy for 9 months now. Things started off great and though we have had a few issues I feel like they can be worked through. The latest issue though is surrounding money. He lost his job a few months ago and has been having a...
A. 12 September 2018: It’s not your job to support him at all, is there a Jobseeker’s Allowance in the US? I’m not too sure how it works over there but in the UK you can get money from the government every 2 weeks I believe if you can prove that you’re actually trying to ... (read in full...)
Is this long distance relationship worth pursuing or should I just move on?
Q. Hello everyone. So I have reached a point in my life when if someone were to ask my relationship status, I would say, "It's complicated". Basically, exactly one year ago I was on a pretty long layover, I downloaded a hookup app and star...
A. 12 September 2018: Forget and move on.
You said yourself that people make the time if they want to, therefore you know deep down that this is over. Stop trying to take it any further, it’s your own time and feelings that are at stake, no one else’s.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...
A. 11 September 2018: How is he checking up on you if you’re not on there?
How naive are you? You’re between 36-40 years old, surely you have enough life experience to notice when someone is fucking you around?
His excuse is bullshit. Why would HE be insecure beca... (read in full...)
How could he move on so quickly?
Q. I ended my relationship with my ex back in February not because we no longer loved each other but because we both had different out looks on life. Realistically it wasn't going to work. I left our house and moved back home. My ex was distraught and ...
A. 11 September 2018: Why does it annoy you? Why should he have to mope about because you broke up? That sounds a pretty childish and selfish attitude to be quite honest.
I remember you asking your question last time also and as the other aunts and uncles said you rece... (read in full...)
DId I ruin a good thing by commenting on his social media and being petty?
Q. Hey guys, I'm in a dilemma with a guy. So the beginning of August, I start talking to this college athlete that goes to the neighboring school. Everything is great, affection, attention, dates, sex and spending time. Until about a week ago, he pos...
A. 11 September 2018: Yes probably.
Who wants to feel like they’re being watched on social media and having their activity stalked? Interaction with the other sex doesn’t mean they’re attracted to each other so it’s extremely childish for you to have reacted the way ... (read in full...)
Should I call him out or just drop it?
Q. Back story: I started seeing this guy back in February, but ONLY as a hookup (my intention at the time, since I was getting out of a 6 year relationship). This lasted for a couple months, and near the end of the couple months, I realized I was s...
A. 8 September 2018: Very simple - Block, delete, move on.
When you’re trying to forget someone, always block their number. Messers have a habit of getting back in touch in future to try and scramble your head all over again as seen here.
No need to call him out,... (read in full...)
He’s going away for the weekend with one of his best female friends!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 months,we knew each other before though and its pretty serious. Everything has been good but there is one thing Im not comfortable with and its that hes going away for the weekend with one of his best girl ...
A. 8 September 2018: If you don’t think he will cheat then what’s the issue?
That above statement shows that you trust your man, so stand by that until he gives you a reason not to. If he wants to cheat he will do it whether he goes on this trip or not. ... (read in full...)
I am paying my girlfriend's rent but we are not on good terms. What should I do?
Q. Found girlfriends journal. Made the mistake of reading some of it. She has been in contact with her ex in prison. Sentenced 25 to life. Wants to visit him as soon as she can. Hasn't seen him in like 2 yrs. I have been supporting her almost 100% for ...
A. 8 September 2018: Kick her out, save your money. Why waste it on someone who’s contacting their ex? Break up and find someone there’s no drama attached to. Who needs a criminal adding to the mix of their relationship.
Why are you paying for her rent in the first pl... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable in wanting us to cut back on our weed expenses? I
Q. So my husband works to keep me at the moment he literally pays for almost everything (including holidays, clothes, materialistic things etc) But bare in mind I don't ask him for that he just does it. I'm unable to work at the moment due to my severe ...
A. 8 September 2018: Yes I do think you’re being unreasonable.
There are many people that suffer from the same as you that aren’t in a position where they don’t have to work. They have to drag their ass out of bed every morning and go and work a job on top of the dail... (read in full...)
Is this relationship based on sex?
Q. I am in a weird relationship with a 48 year old man. I lost my virginity to him but lied I was on my period. I had sex because I was ready to and do not feel an ounce of guilt. All I wanted from him was to have sex, get over with the pain and move ...
A. 8 September 2018: Honeypie beat me to it, I read this and immediately thought this sounds like a form of prostitution.
Why would you get together with someone you didn’t fully want to be with? Leaving this situation is the only logical solution. You say you can ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...
A. 8 September 2018: How do you know he’s on there? How certain are you that it’s him if some of the info is false?
If you know 100% it’s him then break up. What other option is there? He’s on a dating site claiming that he’s single, he doesn’t respect you and is l... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for not trusting my man?
Q. A few months ago I met this guy out of state. We really hit it off and he ended up moving in my state. He has an ex girl that he still has pictures with on social media. When she noticed that he moved to my state she immediately called him then ...
A. 8 September 2018: How long have you known each other?
Moving in after a few months is usually a recipe for disaster. You barely know each other! He could still have feelings for his ex yes, who knows besides him? He could have used this opportunity to move away fro... (read in full...)
Dating apps and cheating in a long distance relationship
Q. I have been in a relationship for the past 8 years. It has been long distance since 2014 due to work and family issues on his side. I can work remotely, so have been backwards and forwards from Ireland, where my family lives and where I usually ...
A. 8 September 2018: Why would you possibly need ‘validation’ to walk away? YOU HAVE SEEN WITH YOUR OWN EYES that he is on dating websites, multiple times! What other option is there than to walk away? You have told him time and time again that you don’t approve of it ... (read in full...)
Is she worth pursuing?
Q. I'm in a really low place right now. I've been dating a girl for the past 4 months ( I'm 30 she's 26) and during the past month she's grown incredibly distant. She only texts me when I text her now, sometimes it takes her days to reply, she never ...
A. 7 September 2018: How exactly are you falling in love with her? She’s dodging you at every single possibility. I’m struggling to see how you’ve developed strong enough feelings to claim ‘love’ in 4 months.
I didn’t even need to read past your first paragrap... (read in full...)
He keeps using dating apps!
Q. I keep catching my fella using dating apps. First he denies it and calls me paranoid, then he says it is me who goes on them and that is why i am so suspicious, then he admits it and says it is just for a laugh and has not any intention of meeting ...
A. 6 September 2018: By your ‘softness’ changing, do you mean you’re going to tell him off for being on the sites?
You’ve caught him multiple times, he’s never going to stop. Whatever you say or do (besides breaking up with him) will not change his mentality. Every da... (read in full...)
After one date his messages have become short and infrequent. Should I give up?
Q. I connected with a guy on a dating app and we hit it off. We seemed to be on the same wavelength, there seemed to be a lot of chemistry, a real attraction. We continuously messaged each other. We arranged to meet and counted down the days. The ...
A. 6 September 2018: I really doubt he’s online because ‘he knows’ you will be there checking his status. He will be online speaking to other people.
You need to realise that your behaviour is becoming slightly obsessive now. Checking whether he is online is too much... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to help support him as he tries to strengthen his knee!
Q. Hello I would like your opinion on this. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. We live in the USA, he lives in the East Coast, while I live in the West Coast. We've been together for about three years. My boyfriend injured himself ...
A. 5 September 2018: Is he out of his mind?
Why the hell should you be footing the bill? What happens when he can’t pay you back when he owes you 2000? 3000? Who knows where the figure will end up? Who’s to say the relationship will last? Good luck getting it back ... (read in full...)
How do I stop being a glutton for punishment?
Q. I was involved with attached guy for over a year.I'm not sure if he is actually married or common law but he lives with his kids mother and thier twin boys.When we met he told me that their relationship was over but just trying to figure out what's ...
A. 5 September 2018: Even if he did offer you a relationship how could you trust him? He’s cheating on his wife, sounds like a piece of shit in my eyes.
Surely you think you’re worth more than a low life cheat? Find someone who’s not attached in anyway to another ... (read in full...)
How do I stop being a glutton for punishment?
Q. I was involved with attached guy for over a year.I'm not sure if he is actually married or common law but he lives with his kids mother and thier twin boys.When we met he told me that their relationship was over but just trying to figure out what's ...
A. 5 September 2018: The block button?
Extremely simple, if he can’t contact you, it’s over. ... (read in full...)
He keeps using dating apps!
Q. I keep catching my fella using dating apps. First he denies it and calls me paranoid, then he says it is me who goes on them and that is why i am so suspicious, then he admits it and says it is just for a laugh and has not any intention of meeting ...
A. 5 September 2018: You love someone who repeatedly lies to your face and then tells you that you’re imagining things?
What a great catch, I see why you don’t want to break up with him.
Grow a backbone and dump the waste of space. What person who is in a happy, c... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's family word is golden, mine doesn’t count!
Q. I need some advice. I have been dating a guy for five years, his family is top priority with him, I am bottom of his list. I will add that his family absolutely dislike me, no matter what I do, it is always wrong. He has a large park RV that his...
A. 5 September 2018: So why have you stayed 5 years?
If you are his last priority and you’ve been together for 5 years then you’re basically telling him your treatment of me is fine. You are accepting what he is offering. Why would he make any changes?
If you ... (read in full...)
I lied about my age. Can I salvage this relationship?
Q. Hello, Im new to the Dear Cupid community. I never thought I would resort to a site like this but I really want to save my relationship or get advice whether or not my relationship is worth saving. I know this entry will be a lengthy one.. so...
A. 4 September 2018: Absolutely no chance. This whole situation sounds like a clusterfuck.
Very toxic, no trust, very dodgy things going on. You went after a married woman who used someone for residency which in itself shows a lot about her character, that alone fo... (read in full...)
She's had more sexual experience than I have. Will I regret it later?
Q. I'm a 25 year old guy, my girlfriend is 33. We've been on/off for a year and have quite a strong bond (we broke up once, recently rekindled it, now its getting serious again. No other partners in the inbetween) I have a real problem with our...
A. 4 September 2018: This relationship isn’t going to last for a few reasons imo.
You’ve already broken up in the past, showing there is a HUGE compatibility issue. If something happens for the situation to end it’s a surefire sign that you’re not meant to be. How ... (read in full...)
Is there any chance she will come back to me?
Q. There is a girl who was friend with me since 2 years. She was so close to me and trust me that she sends her pics to me to ask that which one she should make her DP. We talk everyday on texts for 2-3 hours. within 5 months our chats counts reached ...
A. 4 September 2018: If she wanted to speak to you she would do.
Stop obsessing over this, it’s been close to 3 months. Get on with your life.... (read in full...)
What is there that I can do/say that will get him to wake the freak up out of this angry hostile mood hes been holding onto for a good 3-4 years towards me?
Q. Well heres the situation that I need advice on to see if im in the wrong on this one or not. Ive been in a relationship with this guy for over 5 years now. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship does. But the main concern I was hit ...
A. 2 September 2018: What is there to do? How about walk away? Why would you put up with this for 4 years?
Does it sound like he’s going to change any time soon? You’ve allowed him to behave this way for so long so why would anything pan out differently in future? ... (read in full...)
Why would my cheating wife try to contact me after 6 months of NC?
Q. Well it's been almost 7 months since my cheating wife left me for her boss. Although she never admitted to an affair I have mountains of evidence proving otherwise. Long story short... I thought I had her blocked on everything. I have been ...
A. 2 September 2018: Things have gone tits up with the new guy and she’s realised she fucked up.
Glad to hear you blocked her, keep moving forwards. You’ve done great up until this point so carry on with it.
Best of luck... (read in full...)
After one date his messages have become short and infrequent. Should I give up?
Q. I connected with a guy on a dating app and we hit it off. We seemed to be on the same wavelength, there seemed to be a lot of chemistry, a real attraction. We continuously messaged each other. We arranged to meet and counted down the days. The ...
A. 1 September 2018: No matter how busy someone is, if they want you in their life they will make time for you. ... (read in full...)
I don't feel guilty for cheating
Q. Things with my bf have been Rocky for a while. We've been together nearly 4 years. We hardly sleep together, we never go to restaurants, we argue alot but when I've suggested we break up he gets teapot upset and says things like without you I will ...
A. 29 August 2018: I’m with the other posters.
How can your BF refuse to break up? You say you’re over then you leave, done. How hard is that?
You were pushed to it? Did someone have a gun to your head? Stop trying to justify it. You decided to cheat, end of. T... (read in full...)
How do I stop creeping him out?
Q. I met a guy at college over four years ago now ,he was 18 and I was 17 which is quite a long time ago but only feels like a year ago .When I first met him I was not interested in getting to know him because I did not find him attractive and he ...
A. 29 August 2018: Nothing.
Leave the situation alone. What do you expect someone to do when you treat them like crap then start showing obsessive behaviours? Treating them mean and then being over the top with contact is bound to push someone away. You say you’ve l... (read in full...)
I have caught my husband in so many lies regarding his female coworker. Is it wrong for me to ask him to stay away from her?
Q. Hello, My husband has been lying to me for the past few months, all lies have involved his coworker. He has lied to me about calling her, dropping her off at home, going to hang out with her at her house, buying her gifts, including an exp...
A. 27 August 2018: I’d be surprised if he’s not sleeping with her. I doubt there’s anything that you can say or do that would pull him away from this woman, the marriage is probably over for him.... (read in full...)
My will be joining another couple for a threesome
Q. So let me start by saying my wife and I have been married for 8 years an are blessed/ deeply in love. So last night we had a couple over for cocktails, I was at work when they arrived and when I got there my wife was already buzzed and was acting v...
A. 27 August 2018: Two words: Bye bye.
She’s clearly not as in love as you described if she’s openly told you she’s going to fuck another man. Looks like divorce could be heading your way. What a disrespectful woman. If you stick around then not only are you a pu... (read in full...)
What is my ex playing at?
Q. A couple of years ago I was seeing a guy whilst at University but he really messed me around and we constantly had an up and down on and off relationship. I then blocked him when I finished Uni which was over a year ago and didn't think of him much ...
A. 27 August 2018: Bet you’ve given his ego a good stroke by messaging him. He would probably deny all knowledge of speaking to your friend about you also. How could he not know how to contact you? Absolute crap. Stay out of his games, if he messages you then ignore ... (read in full...)
He'll do anything .... except come fishin'
Q. My family are a big fishing family (both my side and my husband's family loves fishing). We tried to teach our children to love fishing. We have three children and three grandchildren. Our youngest son, Justin, is 33 years old and he hates fis...
A. 26 August 2018: He hates fishing. Accept it.
Why are you trying to force him to enjoy it? If anything that will make him despise it even more. You’re his mother so surely you should want the best for him and be able to accept that there’s some things he just doe... (read in full...)
How do I tell my fiance I'm not a virgin. I don't want her to know who I had sex with
Q. My cousin and I, when we were in are early teens, made an extremely stupid choice and had sex with each other. We are the same age and at the time, we both enjoyed it. We lost our virginity to each other. Now as an adult, I realize how stupid it ...
A. 26 August 2018: Why is this even a question? Why do you need to bring this up? Let alone tell your partner who you lost your virginity to.
Unless you’re implying that your partner thinks you’re a virgin and you lied to her about it. If she got together with you... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a girl who has a boyfriend. Do I drop a hint that I'm single?
Q. I split up with my long term partner because I wasn't sure how I felt and it didn't feel right anymore. I'm in no rush to get into a relationship again but there is a girl who I have an interest in. I think there is a connection between us as I'...
A. 26 August 2018: Would you appreciate someone doing that to your GF if you were happy in a relationship?
You based your breakup partly on a girl saying hi and occasionally looking at you. To be quite honest that’s ridiculous.
Leave that girl and her relation... (read in full...)
His ex hates me because he dumped her two weeks before dating me
Q. So to explain the situation a bit better Ive been best friends with an American man for about 12.5 years now, I lived in Ireland and we met online and started as penpals , we have emailed nearly every day for 12 years and always rang each other and ...
A. 25 August 2018: Well I have to say that’s dickish behaviour from your BF to admit to her face that he’s using her until a better option came along. No one on this planet would be able to completely keep their cool to be told directly that they’re not good enough ... (read in full...)
Turnng 30 and getting itchy feet about passionless relationship
Q. Hi, I don't know what to do or how to feel. I have lived at home with my parents until not long ago. I was always a good kid and studied hard and didn't go out partying. I've bought a house and moved in with my partner of 10 years. I have bee...
A. 24 August 2018: The relationship is done.
Move out as soon as possible and search for what you’re looking for. The guy is boring, why would you stay? Why would you WANT to stay? You’ve told us you don’t do anything, there’s no passion or romance so what other op... (read in full...)
Is there any chance she will come back to me?
Q. There is a girl who was friend with me since 2 years. She was so close to me and trust me that she sends her pics to me to ask that which one she should make her DP. We talk everyday on texts for 2-3 hours. within 5 months our chats counts reached ...
A. 12 August 2018: I think it’s pretty clear that she doesn’t want anything to do with you anymore.
People drift apart, these things happen in life. You will survive. I’m assuming you were hoping she would be your GF from the ‘proposal’ texts? If so, it looks li... (read in full...)
| *91's friends
These are mutual friends, so *91 has
added them and they have added *91!
|
