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... Send *earkelja a private message | | | *earkelja's profile:This site has been a wonderful experience for me. I hope that I have helped some of you in some small way.
I'll be back from time to time to help where I can. My focus for now is to get my life back to good. Thank you to those of you who have helped me along my journey. Your help, love and guidance have made me strong.
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Am I crazy to feel this way please help !!!!!!!!!!!!
Q. What should I do? I’m 22 years old and married for about 4 months my husband and I have a 1 year old and another on the way. When I was pregnant with my son he wouldn't touch me. When I asked him to have sex it would be I’m tired. He would ...
A. 23 November 2008: I am sorry you are going through this. He has replaced you with the internet and of course you are feeling rejected and this hurts you very much. It will do a number on your self esteem, at a time when you are suppose to be the most beautiful ... (read in full...)
Gf told me I'm not the best sex she's had, what should I do?
Q. hey ppl out there ive been in a relationship for a year and some months and i used to ask my gf if i was the best at sex she used to tell me yes and i was the first person to make her to cum alot and when having sex now i ask her again recently who ...
A. 17 November 2008: Hey Dandada-
I just want to add. There is sex and there is making love. A big difference between the two. I think you have pushed this woman to give you an answer to the sex question but you never asked her who made love the best. Sex is simp... (read in full...)
Feel pretty stupid sitting around waiting to hear from him. Should I just end this?
Q. I don't know what's up with this guy. I love him dearly. He's not the type to express those feelings unless he really and truly feels it. So supposedly he's in love with me too. Thing is, I'm starting to question his meaning of love. We used to ...
A. 16 November 2008: If you have had the talk and he says nothing is wrong then you have to believe...I mean really believe...that he is being honest. If you think he is Mr. Right, then appreciate him and accept that he isn't as communicative as you. But you must ... (read in full...)
I believe I’m dating a nice but much less sophisticated woman here.
Q. Should I stay or should I go? I've been dating this gal for only a week. A little background, we are both mature adults 40+. She is nice, attractive, and seems to have a good career. The problem here; is she acting too needy or just lacking in...
A. 14 November 2008: Ain't technology grand? When someone moves in too fast, wanting to communicate every day in a new relationship it is a sign of not being involved in much. If the conversations aren't going well (IE: not much stimulation) then I think she probably ... (read in full...)
Feel pretty stupid sitting around waiting to hear from him. Should I just end this?
Q. I don't know what's up with this guy. I love him dearly. He's not the type to express those feelings unless he really and truly feels it. So supposedly he's in love with me too. Thing is, I'm starting to question his meaning of love. We used to ...
A. 14 November 2008: Let me know how the discussion goes. It is possible that you care more for him that he cares for you. The world is crazy these days. People don't need or want people the way they used to.... (read in full...)
Should I politely tell him to go away or should I throw caution to the wind and meet up?
Q. About 7 months ago I started temping at a company I worked at 6 years ago. A couple of weeks after I started I got an e-mail from a guy I used to work with saying hiya how are you, saw you in the canteen, you're still hot, are you still single. I ...
A. 13 November 2008: Warning...your workplace (as many can) may be having some fun reading your emails. These emails are the property of the company you work for and if his wife finds out about them they could land in the court of law and I don't think that will amuse ... (read in full...)
How can he say I'm his girlfriend then turn around and say he's single?
Q. I'm 43, dating a 53 year old guy for 3 months now, he refers to me as his girl-friend. (but he says he's not ready for a commitment...) Also, I've found him on 3 online dating sites, where he lists himself as single seeking a women/activity partner. ...
A. 13 November 2008: I suspect you are not his significant other, simply his friend that is a girl. But yes, find out if he is still actively on these web sites. If he is, I would exit stage left.... (read in full...)
Feel pretty stupid sitting around waiting to hear from him. Should I just end this?
Q. I don't know what's up with this guy. I love him dearly. He's not the type to express those feelings unless he really and truly feels it. So supposedly he's in love with me too. Thing is, I'm starting to question his meaning of love. We used to ...
A. 13 November 2008: I think the two of you should have a discussion about how and when to communicate. You are feeling insecure about the relationship because you are not being communicated to the way you want to.
It could be he never thought it was an issue. ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my friend to help me lose my virginity?
Q. I'll be turning 32 in a few days. I am still a virgin in just about every imaginable sense (I've never even french-kissed). This is something I am supremely self-conscious about. I also have an anxiety problem which tends to leave me more fearful ...
A. 13 November 2008: I think her self esteem suffered after the break up and she felt "good" that she was in a "relationship." Some people just can't stand to be alone. To me what you had did not meet the definition of a relationship. I think she may have used you. ... (read in full...)
I just don't know how long I'm suppose to wait this out.
Q. Ok sooo... I have known this girl for over a year now... when we first met it was more on a flirty bases and friendly..then it got into..more hanging out about starting to like each other thing. Well we would hang out once a week at least and this ...
A. 9 November 2008: I think she doesn't feel the same about you as you feel about her. I understand that people are hesitant to get into relationships because of their past but I also know that if you feel the person is "the (right) one" you kind of let the past go. ... (read in full...)
What's really going on in my ex's mind?
Q. Hello everyone, I really need your help, I've been split with my guy nearly 4 weeks tomorrow, he left me for his ex the mother of his child, Anyway last night I went down the pub with some friends to watch fireworks and he was there with this gir...
A. 9 November 2008: Hi Sally Ann,
There are probably two things going on here. I think he probably didn't talk to you much that night when he saw you was because he was with his current girlfriend. He most likely didn't want to start anything. Next time you talk... (read in full...)
What could this mean? He misses me? Thinks about me?
Q. met this guy through work. we hit it off, in fact us being together getting along so well, with attraction he told me was one of the best two days he had in a long time and yes i could concur! well, through our time together we liked each other...
A. 5 November 2008: I'm also agreeing with Mandy. This is a man who wants to dominate and manipulate you. If you have his baby he will have a permanent tie to you.
He has anger management issues and low self esteem. He is already jealous of other men and acti... (read in full...)
I'm really confused! Why did this happen?
Q. I was seeing a guy for the last 2 months. At the beginning he was chasing me, asking me out on dates, he had swept me off my feet. As I got to know him my feelings for him got deeper and deeper. After three weeks he asked me to be his girlfriend and ...
A. 5 November 2008: Leave him be. I agree that he liked the challenge and chase of getting you and when they win, the game is over. If this guy calls again, don't take his call. He'll just do the same thing over to you because he really isn't ready for a ... (read in full...)
I was sexually charged for him. Due to repeated rejections, I am now uncharged, what is going on??
Q. I have a dilema. I have been with my BF for over 2 years. We live together. I am older than him. Before we became a couple, we were sort of friends. I went out to a bar with him once, and he met a girl while he was with me. After they talked f...
A. 2 November 2008: He has done a number on your self esteem by rejecting you. You will never trust his feelings for you so I think it is best to start over with someone new. I don't think the two of you have a solid relationship if you can not discuss this and if he ... (read in full...)
Is this normal after having anal sex?
Q. Last night I had anal sex for the first time but it's like the guy didn't know what was happening, I don't think he realised it was my anus or not. But he kept alternating between the two. I've heard this can cause disease, does anyone know how ...
A. 2 November 2008: Also be on the lookout for a bladder infection which if left untreated could lead to a kidney infection and that is a very serious situation.... (read in full...)
HIM
Q. HEY!!!!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!! well uhm that guy, he told me yesterday that he had a surprise for me. and today we had a rally and he performed for the LSU club. he got really close to his partner, and after he asked me if i liked my ...
A. 1 November 2008: At your age, there is still a lot of game playing and no-one is brave enough to come out and say what they feel.
That being said, you don't have to settle for game playing. It's always best to be up front and honest. If you like this guy and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is suddenly distant, haven't seen him in two weeks.
Q. My boyfriend of almost six months and I have been exclusive since nearly the beginning of our relationship. We usually see each other once or twice a week, due to our work schedules and the fact that we both have kids. Last week he went by himse...
A. 31 October 2008: Being a woman I can only answer what I've experienced. Yes, men sometimes do get to where they need to have some space. The fact that this is coming on the heels of a trip he went to (to Las Vegas no less) seems to me that yes, maybe something did ... (read in full...)
Do I wait for this guy when we had such a wonderful relationship?
Q. Help! 4 months ago I met a guy who was in the process of breaking up with his girlfriend. He was very open about this, but also said he was very attracted to me and after he ended things with his girlfriend we began the most amazing relationship - ...
A. 26 October 2008: Having just been through this same thing I wanted to share my story with you.
I had a similar situation-though we were good friends who just embarked on dating. We had a fabulous time and had made many plans but the guy couldn't follow through.... (read in full...)
What to do with a disappearing, lying, stealing husband?
Q. My husband and I have been married for a little over 5 years now and our marriage has had some problems. when we first got married my husband drank a lot and did drugs I knew how much he drank but he tried to hide his drug use from me but I always ...
A. 26 October 2008: Hi there,
Well, I think it's time to take care of yourself. Take your dogs, and any other valuables you are afraid he will take, to your family and go to work. Then quickly move yourself out of this situation. If it is possible to box his thin... (read in full...)
Things are great between us, then suddenly he just cuts me off. How do I deal with this ?
Q. So i've been talking to this guy for about two months and things have been going great. we decided from the beginning that we weren't going to put titles to anything and just let whatever happens, happen. however, when we would go out, he would be ...
A. 25 October 2008: I had a similar thing happen to me. I was friends with a guy and after being friends for 5 months or so. I did work with him but then I got a new job. I tried to stay in touch and he did for a bit too but then I quit contacting him. He did call, ... (read in full...)
I'm a 28 yr old woman for goodness sake! What's going on? Am I in denial of something?
Q. My best guy friend, George* and I have been best friends for about fifteen years, and we have actually been living together for close to six months (to save on rent). Recently, I've caught him staring at me a few times and then as soon as I DO catch ...
A. 25 October 2008: I too think that George likes you more than as a roomate. He is struggling to tell you because he is unsure of how you feel and most likely he does not want to ruin the friendship or the living arrangements. It seems to me that you mom knows ... (read in full...)
I'm just so confused...do I stick it out or forget it? Please help.
Q. I'm 30 my partner 35 we have been together for a year. Basically I've been living with my parents which hasn't been ideal and not in a position to move out. I'm at my partner's most days and asked about living together, he said he wasn't ready this ...
A. 25 October 2008: A year is not a long enough for some people to make a commitment such as living together. Some people do and some don't. I don't think I would be ready to live with someone after a year. I don't think he is in the wrong with how he is feeling. ... (read in full...)
What to do with a disappearing, lying, stealing husband?
Q. My husband and I have been married for a little over 5 years now and our marriage has had some problems. when we first got married my husband drank a lot and did drugs I knew how much he drank but he tried to hide his drug use from me but I always ...
A. 25 October 2008: Hey there,
I am sorry you are going through this misery. I understand that you want to move to where you can be around people who can help you. That is good. I think that will be a wonderful thing for you.
Regarding giving him the option of go... (read in full...)
What to do with a disappearing, lying, stealing husband?
Q. My husband and I have been married for a little over 5 years now and our marriage has had some problems. when we first got married my husband drank a lot and did drugs I knew how much he drank but he tried to hide his drug use from me but I always ...
A. 24 October 2008: Honestly, your self esteem is only going to get worse and worse as he continues to treat you like a doormat. He certainly has contributed to where it is right now. I think you could only get better if you were alone. At least you could spend some ... (read in full...)
What to do with a disappearing, lying, stealing husband?
Q. My husband and I have been married for a little over 5 years now and our marriage has had some problems. when we first got married my husband drank a lot and did drugs I knew how much he drank but he tried to hide his drug use from me but I always ...
A. 23 October 2008: I am sorry that you are in this situation. From my perspective sitting on the outside, you have certainly given him every opportunity to change and do right by you. You have been patient and strong for him and while he has shown you he can be a ... (read in full...)
He won't "jump through ANY hoops" in this relationship. What does a guy really mean when they state something like that?
Q. My Boyfriend of 3 years, recently made a statement to me that he won't "jump through ANY hoops" in this relationship. What does a guy really mean when they state something like this?...
A. 16 October 2008: It means if you want to go dancing and he doesn't, he wont go. It means he won't go to your family doos if he doesn't feel like it. It means he won't put up with any nagging or tears from you. It means that he won't cook you dinner or massage ... (read in full...)
The Ex won't answer my calls or texts but views my Myspace daily.
Q. Me and my girlfriend of 7 months broke up about a month and a week ago. Anyways, the breakup wasn't messy, and I am still good friends with her stepfather and her mother. I wrote her a text and called here about a week after the breakup but to no ...
A. 12 October 2008: Give her some time to figure out what she wants. It could be she is missing you as anyone does when they break up. She may not be as responsive to you because perhaps she doesn't want to lead you on. Give her a few weeks and then maybe call her ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has anger management issues, what do I do?
Q. You know when you really love someone, and you think your boyfriend's freat, but he just has that one glitch that when it pops up, it really makes you wonder if he's going to be the one for you? I have been with my boyfriend 10 months. 99% of ...
A. 12 October 2008: Unresolved anger issues only get worse the longer and more comfortable one is in a relationship. I've also found that the anger tends to be pointed a the one person they truly care about.
Yes he does need help and yes he will be angry if you sugg... (read in full...)
Been on a few dats, but I don't know how to break it off now
Q. I've been on a few dates with this really nice sweet guy but I've decided now that I just don't feel anything for him! He still keeps texting me but I don't know how to break it off- whether to be honest and explain that I just don't feel a spark or ...
A. 12 October 2008: Having been in this position, on the other side, I will tell you that being honest is much kinder and hurts less than stringing him along or not being responsive at all.
You don't need to give him a reason just simply tell him that you have enj... (read in full...)
We really seemed to have a connection and we have kept in touch but all of a suden he is ignoring me, why?
Q. I met a guy and had an instant connection. He gave me his contact info, and we kept in contact for several months. We planned to meet again and had a great weekend. During the weekend, he brought up relationships several times, but not directly. ...
A. 12 October 2008: I agree with sarcy. You need to leave him be. This issue is clearly with him. Anytime someone does a 180 there is usually some event that causes it. It could be a new woman in his life or that he just isn't feeling ready for the next step in a ... (read in full...)
I am living in a sexless marriage, what should I do?
Q. My husband of 43yrs. all of a sudden decided he has no desire for sex or affection. I asked him what am I suppose to do and he said he didn`t know. He has affection for the children and grand children but not me. Now the kicker--we haven`t had sex ...
A. 12 October 2008: For financial reason you want to stay in the marriage. To me you are saying finances mean more to you than feeling loved. The options this presents are to find a lover or get out there and get some good female friends. Having female friends may ... (read in full...)
Which guy gets the girl in this scenario?
Q. Hi. Ladies, who would you rather sleep with: 1) Guy who is superconfident and very successful who has a great sense of humour, but is not particularly good looking and although he fancies you he does not have feelings for you as such. or 2...
A. 12 October 2008: I can not imagine sleeping with a guy who does not have feelings for me. Guy number 2.
Let me guess, you were guy number two and the girl picked guy number 1?
Here are a few reasons a girl might pick guy number 1:
1) he is attractive to her-mo... (read in full...)
Ex on the scene for nearly 6 years! Advice please?
Q. I split with my ex nearly 6 years ago who i loved more than anything i fell pregnant by him but i was only a kid at the time and had an abortion for both our sakes but it killed us both and it never really worked after that but i was sure then and ...
A. 11 October 2008: I am sorry that you were treated poorly by your ex. There is no right or wrong thing to have done in this situation. To clarify what you've written, your ex and you were in contact and he begged to see you, you two finally met up and had sex 6 or ... (read in full...)
Ex fiancee has just come back into my life and I still love her so much...
Q. Pull up a chair, grab a drink, and perhaps something to eat... this is gonna be a long one... I was dating a girl whom i believe to be the love of my life but also my soul mate (and at the time best friend). After a couple years, I proposed, she ...
A. 10 October 2008: You only live once. If this is the girl of your dreams and you would do anything to win her back then do so. Life is not a game and we can not go through life like a chess match making a move trying to predict what someone else will do.
My ad... (read in full...)
Is this abuse? Should I get out of my relationship now?
Q. Should I get out of my relationship now? I am currently taking a break from my relationship with my boyfriend because I am working on issues from my past. My question is if he is abusive. Since we've been together for about 7 months a few things ...
A. 5 October 2008: I think the two of you are a bad combination at this time. You have learned yourself how to be abusive in a relationship and if you were to ask me, withholding how you feel about someone is abusive. Asking someone to leave constantly is abusive. ... (read in full...)
Attention to all the Dear Cupid Uncles and Aunts
Q. Dear Uncles and Aunts I have noticed sometimes some of you are replying to questions that are so outdated. I cannot help but ask, don't you look at the dates of the questions? It is annoying to see some of you answering these outdated questions...
A. 5 October 2008: I'll add that sometimes we get emails from the posters of questions asking us to look at it and give our advice. So we do. I have.
I also try to respond to questions that do not have answers and realize there is a time delay for some answers ... (read in full...)
I told myself that I would never mention marriage to him again, but at the same time, I don't really want to help pay for a house that is only in his name... what do I do here for the best?
Q. I have been living w/ my boyfriend for 2 yrs. We have been renting. He is now working on getting a loan for a house (to buy) and we have started house hunting. He has been talking about putting the house in his name only. I don't really care for...
A. 4 October 2008: Given his concern about marriage, I would not sign on a house with him. If you wanted to pay him "rent" to live there, then that would be ok. But it shouldn't be half of the mortgage, etc. A set agreed upon rent and then he can pay all the other ... (read in full...)
What's going on between us?
Q. I spent the day with my crush a week ago at my house.we kissed, hugged, cuddled. So I told him that I like him and he didn't say it back, he just started putting his arm around me while walking and started acting like my bf. Now,it seems like were ...
A. 4 October 2008: I guess if he is acting like he is not interested then you should let him be for now, until he shows signs of interest. I am not sure why you have to do all the calling in this relationship. Let him do some chasing too. This is a hard place to be ... (read in full...)
How can I stop myself hurting over my 'toyboy'?
Q. I am married and obsessed with a guy 20 years younger than me. We are both taking a class together a few times a week and up until recently, drove together. We sit at the same table and used to have a lot of fun but that has deminished as well. ...
A. 2 October 2008: Ask yourself what is missing in your life. What void is this younger man filling for you. If your marriage is stale, then yes, work on it or get out. For me, the fact that you are seeing him is prolonging what I think you need to do...cut off all ... (read in full...)
Can physical attraction develop over the years?
Q. How do you become sexually attracted to the guy you want to marry? We have been together for 4 years, and things are perfect, yet i am not physically attracted to him, and sex feels wrong. I want to fix this, and feel it is all in my head. What ...
A. 2 October 2008: Part of a healthy marriage is the physical relationship which helps foster intimacy and a general "connection" with your partner. If you do not have these feelings of attraction (or chemistry) in the beginning phase of a relationship I don't think ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering what walks of life the aunts and uncles come from?
Q. Dear posters, I think its wonderful to have people from different walks of life, to be able to come here and look at others situations with a different set of eyes. its great! On to my question, I was left wondering what each and every one of you...
A. 27 September 2008: Hi,
I have an undergrad in marriage and family social science and a masters in business. I am an internal company consultant and I also work with our suppliers and customers. I have a teenager and am divorce now a year. I am in my fourties. ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my friend to help me lose my virginity?
Q. I'll be turning 32 in a few days. I am still a virgin in just about every imaginable sense (I've never even french-kissed). This is something I am supremely self-conscious about. I also have an anxiety problem which tends to leave me more fearful ...
A. 26 May 2008: I would not risk losing your friend by asking her. Women and men categorize sex differently, most of us anyway. Many women (and men too) can't just have sex for the sake of giving someone the experience they need. I also think that your first ... (read in full...)
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