A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:About 7 months ago I started temping at a company I worked at 6 years ago. A couple of weeks after I started I got an e-mail from a guy I used to work with saying hiya how are you, saw you in the canteen, you're still hot, are you still single. I said yes and I asked if he was and he said no he was married. Anyway he carried on sendng e-mails and when they got a bit flirty I said it was wrong cuz he was married. I didn't hear from him for a few weeks but then he was back in touch, just asking how I was etc. Recently however the e-mails have been getting more frequent and more explicit again. Because my job has been a bit boring I've been going along with it and now we are having 'cyber sex' every day revealing very intimate things about ourselves. Recently he has suggested meeting up for sex. I do get turned on by his e-mails and sometimes I think meeting up could be fun but then when I wake up the next day I'm like this wrong - he's married, I shouldn't do this. But then he e-mails and I get turned on again and I'm up for it again, thinking I could have the most amazing sex in my life. I don't know what to do I'm being pulled in two different directions. Should I politely tell him to go away or should I throw caution to the wind and meet up?
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male
reader, InterCntlCHmp  +, writes (14 November 2008):
Seriously way to go. Stand firm by your decision.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2008): Good For You!!!! You did the right thing and you should be proud of yourself! Even if you don't realize it yet, you have just boosted your self-esteem and self-respect!
Have a great Evening!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice. I sent him an e-mail today saying it was wrong and i wanted the e-mails to end. He asked what the problem was, we were just having a bit of fun and suggested meeting up again. I said no, I wasn't looking for a sex buddy and i would feel guilty and didn't want to get hurt. He then said he thought too many people had hang ups about sex, it was just something which two people could get a lot of enjoyment out of. I told him again i wasn't interested and that whatever he said wasn't gonna change my mind and i haven't heard since so hopefully he will have gone away! like u say he is a sleeze bag and i hope he hasn't shown any of those e-mails to his colleagues- now that would be v embarassing!
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A
male
reader, InterCntlCHmp +, writes (13 November 2008):
It takes two to tango but still he is a sleaze bag. The only reason the sex sounds like it's going to be good is because he gradually got you to divulge more and more details over time. It really wouldn't be very difficult for someone to verbally exploit that type of information. You will be disappointed by the sex. For sure. Don't send him pictures. He has probably suffers from low self esteem that's why he flirts with other women like this when he's married so it is also highly likely that he has shared the content of your intimate emails with friends or co-workers. No way he's kept it secret though.
Get out of this situation before it blows up completely. You already understand that it's dodgey or you wouldn't be posting. Find some nice single guy and enjoy drama free single life outside of company pond is always nice too.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (13 November 2008):
 Warning...your workplace (as many can) may be having some fun reading your emails. These emails are the property of the company you work for and if his wife finds out about them they could land in the court of law and I don't think that will amuse you much, even if you are bored.
And yes, he is a sleeze. He is pursuing you because you bit at the bait. Delete all your emails inbox and outbox and hope to God he didn't save all of his.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2008): YES, politely tell him to go away! He's a dog! And sex never turns out to be as good as you imagine it would be! That's why fantasies are so great...there's never any disappointment! And you're probably not the first one he's flirted with online...like I said, He's a DOG!
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A
female
reader, shania +, writes (12 November 2008):
 While he's sending you sexy emails,i bet my bottom dollar that he is having sex with his wife and your just a distraction. Yes, he's bored at home but not bored enough to leave her, they never do. What happens if you start to see this guy for regular sex then you start to have deep feelings for him? Do you think he will leave his wife for you? I doubt it, he's using you for sex.Go and meet a single guy who can give you what you want.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): Tell him to back off. If his wife found out all hell would break loose. And this sounds more like lust than love. If he really wanted to be with you that much he would leave her, or at least consider it. I would leave him alone and look for someone who is single.
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