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*earkelja agony aunt

*earkelja

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*earkelja's profile:

This site has been a wonderful experience for me. I hope that I have helped some of you in some small way.

I'll be back from time to time to help where I can. My focus for now is to get my life back to good. Thank you to those of you who have helped me along my journey. Your help, love and guidance have made me strong.

Be good all of you!

< Prev56789101112131415Next > [24 pages, 932 answers]

I ended the relationship but she was so friendly in the previous months before she suddenly stopped contact. What's happening to her?

Q.   Hi My ex of 5 months has stopped contacting me. I ended the relationship. However, we has stayed friends and every few weeks catch up. Now in the past month ive head nothing from her and the email reply i got before that was fairly short and poli...

A.   26 August 2008: You did end this relationship. Your expectation for her to remain friends long term was idealistic. In order for her to move on and hopefully find someone new, yes, she probably does need to end the friendship. Yes it is possible she met someone ... (read in full...)

He is about to leave his 12 year old to live with a woman with 3 children who has no respect for him. How can I convince him?

Q.   there is somebody in my life who i care for immensely, i am not in love with him. He is having a long distance relationship from the uk with a girl 10 years younger than himself in the usa. He works hard in order to sopport her and her 3 children, ...

A.   26 August 2008: Well, the relatives don't need to like his mother to see him and to maintain contact with him. They shouldn't take this out on the 12 year old and if they do...that is THEIR choice.... (read in full...)

I ended the relationship but she was so friendly in the previous months before she suddenly stopped contact. What's happening to her?

Q.   Hi My ex of 5 months has stopped contacting me. I ended the relationship. However, we has stayed friends and every few weeks catch up. Now in the past month ive head nothing from her and the email reply i got before that was fairly short and poli...

A.   26 August 2008: Sometimes we maintain a friendship out of routine and also because it helps curb the breakup hurt. Once the realization hits that it's over, we can't really move on while maintaining the friendship so we move on and the contact becomes less and ... (read in full...)

How to get rid of these zits on my face in matter of days?

Q.   well heres my problem i have all of these zits on my face and i want to get rid of them any ways for me to get rid of them like in at least 2 ta 3 days cuz school coming up soon and i dont wanna look like this so any ideas...

A.   26 August 2008: Use an exfoliate and gentle cleaner 2 times per day and then spend some time in the sunshine. Make sure you use a good moisturizer, but not an oil based product and lastly....drink lots and lots of water.... (read in full...)

He is about to leave his 12 year old to live with a woman with 3 children who has no respect for him. How can I convince him?

Q.   there is somebody in my life who i care for immensely, i am not in love with him. He is having a long distance relationship from the uk with a girl 10 years younger than himself in the usa. He works hard in order to sopport her and her 3 children, ...

A.   26 August 2008: I can appreciate your sincere friendship and concern for this man. However, as you said, he is 42 years old and what he does, he will be responsible for. Life's lessons aren't always learned at a young age. He is about to learn a lesson that will ... (read in full...)

What does "easy going" mean? My friends say he's just playing with me!

Q.   I just recently started seeing a guy but I'm abit confused about what he wants. Both of us have had a long term relationship where we were very deeply hurt and in his case it was a matter of the girl leaving him not because she had to but she was ...

A.   24 August 2008: I agree with oldersister in that this man told you what he wanted...a casual relationship. You wanted more but he never agreed to give that to you. He does not respect you beyond the FWB and he will never look to you to be a long term ... (read in full...)

Is the past something you should worry about?

Q.   Kay.. I'm 19 and this has been my first real life girlfriend. She's had a rough past. She's really open to talking to me so she's told me a lot of what she's done.. and.. a lot of the things she has done bother me. Yesterday, it hurt a lot when ...

A.   24 August 2008: The past is something you should understand but not necessarily worry about. This girl sounds like she's had a very bad childhood and unfortunately she wasn't able to navigate through things without some bad choices. However, it is possible for ... (read in full...)

I feel like I did something wrong, because he is contacting his ex and won't admit it.

Q.   My boyfriend won't admit to trying to contact his ex girlfriend. I have been with him for 3 years, and we just got a house together about 2 weeks ago. I found out about a month and a half ago that he has been trying to contact his ex girlfriend. I...

A.   24 August 2008: If you are 100% positive that he is contacting his ex then maybe you could share with him the evidence and tell him that you only would like to understand what is going on here that depending on the situation, you may not be mad at him for ... (read in full...)

He's maried but living with me!

Q.   I am now doing something I thought I would never do. I now live with a married man. When we got together it wasn't suppose to end up like this, it was just for fun because I am 13 years older than him. I was getting a divorce and he wasn't married ...

A.   22 August 2008: Move on. You owe him nothing until he is free and single and then you can make a decision if you want to be with him. Right now, you are only adding a level of complexity to an already complex situation. This man doesn't sound like he has a clue ... (read in full...)

He's really hurt me, can I be happy with him?

Q.   me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now, we started off as really really good we'd had never felt the same bout someone else like that before. but there was always interuptions, like the world was against us. anyways when i...

A.   22 August 2008: If you truly can not forgive him for the hurt he has caused you it is best to move on. At this time, I do not think you have honestly forgiven him much less gotten past it. If you don't forgive him and change the way your relationship has been in ... (read in full...)

My dad's fiancee is doing all she can to come between me and my Dad...

Q.   My Dad has been with his girlfriend (now fiancee) for just under 18 months. At first things were great, they seemed really happy, and I know my Dad had been really lobely for a while. Me and my sisters have always had a really close relationsh...

A.   22 August 2008: I am afraid that it is your dad's decision and ultimately his mistake to make. Be there for him as best you can and always let him know the doors are open for communication. I am sure he is torn between the two of you and this isn't a fun position ... (read in full...)

After the break up I met someone else, now both men are interested in me and I don't know who to choose...

Q.   I am separated with 2 small children and just started dating a man for the last 5 months. We had very romantic dates and passionate sex every Sat. night...until he announced that he wanted to have dinner with an ex-girlfriend who just came back ...

A.   20 August 2008: I like both Lexlou's and Smiles answers but do you need to make a decision just now? It seems like you might not know guy 2 as well yet, can you buy some more time? The one thing you said about guy 2 is that he will have baggage from his divorce ... (read in full...)

Is anyone else just as afraid to be alone?

Q.   Here I am again - I thought I was making progress and I know that the boyfriend is NO GOOD for me and I deserve better so why do I still want to get attention from him? He makes me sick! Like last night he said he would call back and he didnt the...

A.   20 August 2008: I think lots of us would rather be with someone but eventually you realize that the someone should make you a priority and if they don't treat you well then it really is not adding to your life, it is taking away. It takes away your self esteem and ... (read in full...)

Can someone put me in the right direction when it comes to girls?

Q.   Hi, i am 21, i have a real problem that i need help with. Im a virgin and i have real girl problems, when i was 16,17 and 18 i wasnt really that nervous or shy around girls but every girl i liked i had my heart set on them and they said they l...

A.   19 August 2008: I think you may be getting yourself in a tither about this and it will become a self fullfilling prophecy (sp) if you let these doubts continue in your head. The problem is your thoughts, not you. Lots of us have experienced being built up and ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't do anything, and I'm the one providing for him - do I drop him or ride it out?

Q.   ok this might be a hard one for anyone to answer.i went out with someone from h a (hells angels) and i was due my tattoo.in the mean time i met some1 else and took my time to dump my h a partner cuz the fort is only down the road where i live. m...

A.   18 August 2008: Go forward, not in reverse and not in park. There is a better life to be had.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend hit me, but now threatens to kill himself if I leave him. Help!

Q.   My bf and I get on good normally bt when we argue.. WE ARGUE.. we shout scream evrything but today he punched me.. I was in complete hysterics and tried to leave but he locked me in and I eventually managed to leave when his mate came in. He phoned ...

A.   18 August 2008: This is a man who wants control. He controls you by hitting you and belittling you and when you threaten to leave he controls you by saying he will kill himself. He needs help and you need to leave him. You are not responsible for his actions. ... (read in full...)

What is going on? Did he have a change of heart?

Q.   Hi! oaky there is this man that has been in my life for 13 years, about 6 years ago he tells me that he wants to settle down with me and I run. Well we got in touch with each in the last year and there were some changes in his life (he was engaged,...

A.   18 August 2008: From the brief note you wrote here, I will venture to guess that what is going on is one of two things. 1) He has a fear of commitment. He finds reasons to leave his fiance, you and everyone who gets "too close". 2) He has a fear that you will... (read in full...)

He has left his wife for me, but now my feelings have faded. What do I do?

Q.   For the last few years I have been seeing a married man. He is from another country and comes here for work every few months. I truly loved him in the beginning but now I am not so sure that I do anymore... - HE recently left his wife (for me) ...

A.   15 August 2008: Cut the ties. Maybe he can salvage his marriage. I think the relationship is based on lies and deception and the resentment does grow and a healthy relationship is never fostered. Because he was married, you didn't need to commit to the ... (read in full...)

A bit off topic... but I'm doing an interview with a dentist who works with braces. What are the important questions to YOU that I should ask him? Thanks.

Q.   Hi All, This Question may not concern sex and relationship. Since most of you are teenagers and adults I need your help. Im doing an interview with a dentist that works with braces, What do you think are intresting and important questions I can ask ...

A.   14 August 2008: Ask him... where he went to school what he likes most about his practice (checkups, surgery, etc) what he wanted to be when he grew up ask to see some before and after photos of patient ... (read in full...)

The man I met on holiday said he doesn't want to take it any further. Why? It was good.

Q.   I had a few dances with this guy I met on holiday but didnt have sex. When we got back we e mailed a few times but he got funny when I told him I liked him which is fair enough as it wasnt long-then he emailed and said I msutnt take it as a sli...

A.   14 August 2008: People share at a different level for different relationships. It could well be that in order for the relationship to continue he would have had to tell you things that would have been too personal for him to share or that if he had told you, you ... (read in full...)

I'm like a boat with no rudder adrift on a stormy ocean. I'll never understand women. Help!

Q.   I will never understand women!!!!!! However, I would like to...... maybe First, I was a workaholic who made lots of money but she wanted me to spend time with her. Lost this one. Second I stop being a workaholic thanks in part to three accid...

A.   14 August 2008: I read through the other responses quickly so if I repeat what was said, sorry. first off, you are dealing with some insecurities about your injury and current physical situation. You need to understand that life is what you make of it and ther... (read in full...)

How do I bring up the subject of marriage? Is this just a short-term relationship for him? I need to know.

Q.   I have been involved with my boyfriend for approximately 6 months. We were friends prior to dating, and we have known each other for for over 18 months. We saw each other for a month in the beginning, and because things were going so fast, he ...

A.   14 August 2008: Do not push marriage on him. This is still a fairly young relationship. If I were you, I would balance my time better than giving it all to him. Make sure you have time for family and friends. Don't center your life around him for several ... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant and no longer want to feel like I'm in line for him!

Q.   Ok, i have been happily married for a year now. My husband is about the most wonderful thing that has ever happend in my life. But now im pregnant. Not really a shocker. We have been unprotected for about two years now. But the thing is, we have ...

A.   14 August 2008: 1st-protect your baby...and yourself. No unprotected sex as your husband is not being exclusive to you. If he doesn't like that arrangement, no sex. Period. You owe it to yourself and your baby to protect both of you. You are going to be a ... (read in full...)

Should I ask my doctor if he's married or let him keep flirting?

Q.   To make a long story short. My doctor and I are attracted to one another. I notice everytime he examies me he takes his strong hands and rub up and down my arm four to five times and it feels so damn good. Another thing I notice was the strong ...

A.   8 August 2008: There is a doctor patient code of ethics that he must abide by. So if you want to bang him for hours, he could well lose his job over it, so I hope it's worth it. The best approach if you two are mutually attracted to each other is to 1) leave y... (read in full...)

My husband says his money is his and doesn't give me and the children any. Should I give up on this marriage?

Q.   I have a question. My husband works 10 hours a day 6 days a work , he never spends time with me and my children. And to top it off I am home this summer with the kids and no money to go anywere. HE says that the money he makes is his and I cant have ...

A.   8 August 2008: If you are a stay at home mom, taking care of his children, he needs to contribute to your ability to do things with "your" children. You should have a car, or at least some way to get around, especially if he is going to spend so much time away. ... (read in full...)

My ex is very angry I am now going out with her sister. What should I do?

Q.   I am 30 years old and dated a woman who was 24 for about a year and everything seemed to be going well but we broke up about a month ago because we were always fighting and didnt' have similiar interests or goals. About two weeks ago, my ...

A.   7 August 2008: There are boundries and there are boundries. I think your ex's sister (your current girl) was out of line calling you and asking you out and because you knew who she was, it would have been wise to not go out with her. You've only known her as y... (read in full...)

Have I married the wrong sort of man for me? Is my marriage worth saving?

Q.   Please help, I need advice. I am a 29 year old married woman with a 3 year old son. Ive been with my husband since I was 20 and been married for 4 years. On the surface we seem like any other couple but I am deeply unhappy in our marriage...

A.   7 August 2008: I believe you contacted the man because you are unhappy with your situation. It's actually good he responded the way he did because cheating only hurts everyone involved. Staying in a marriage to someone you do not feel the connection with does ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend broke up with me because she said I'm no good in bed.

Q.   Hey i am a 15 year old male. I recently lost my virginity to a girl who i love she is 3 years older than me, we were going out at the time. She recently broke up with me saying that because i was so bad in bed she ahd to go somewhere else for...

A.   7 August 2008: This is a girl who ran around and told everyone how bad you are in bed and she was so shallow about it all that she broke up with you and you are asking if you can win her back? Why would you want to? She doesn't sound like a very nice woman. ... (read in full...)

I'm heartbroken and a doormat when it comes to my ex. What can I do?

Q.   I dont really know where to start, im just heartbroken and I need to talk to someone...so here goes Me and my ex have been on and off for about 10 years (im 28 hes 31), we have had about 4 breakups in that time, mainly because he wants to be sing...

A.   5 August 2008: I can answer one of your questions...he wants to get on with his life and he wants you to wait and pine for him because he is selfish and he knows you will. You have never left him in the dirt. I will also tell you that you have helped create this ... (read in full...)

I'm heartbroken and a doormat when it comes to my ex. What can I do?

Q.   I dont really know where to start, im just heartbroken and I need to talk to someone...so here goes Me and my ex have been on and off for about 10 years (im 28 hes 31), we have had about 4 breakups in that time, mainly because he wants to be sing...

A.   3 August 2008: Hellskitten took the words right out of my mouth. He wants you but he doesn't want you and he doesn't want anyone else to have you. The same thing happened to me and even had a guy stringing me along like this guy is doing to you. And the reason ... (read in full...)

I've recnetly got together with the girl of my dreams, but I'm worried about my inexperience in bed.

Q.   I've (very) recently got together with the absolute girl of my dreams. I thought this would make me happy, but the fact is that sex is a problem. She's very experienced, while the last time I was with a girl was well over two years ago. In fact, ...

A.   3 August 2008: A good woman will understand this. I wonder, it takes two to have perfect intimacy, maybe it was your ex who was bad in bed? An experienced woman appreciates a man who wants to grow and learn with her. Even the most experienced man can be a total ... (read in full...)

Is he entitled to know who I was talking to?

Q.   If a guy you are dating calls you when you are already on the other line and you ask him if you can call him right back, is it okay for him to ask you who you are talking to that is more important than him?...

A.   3 August 2008: While it's nice that the guy is interested in your and your life, there comes a point where it's more controlling. If this is a fairly new relationship he might just want to be reassured that you are only dating him. He does sound a little i... (read in full...)

I'm not sure if my patrner is serious about me. He also smokes, drinks and does drugs. Should I break up with him?

Q.   I have been with my partner for over two years. He is sixteen years old than me and has two children, the youngest of whom is fifteen. He says‘I don’t do marriage’, and that he will never marry me. He refuses to meet my family [I only see them a few ...

A.   3 August 2008: You resent the man's actions and therefor, you resent the man. You are trying to change him into the man you want and he is right, you are nagging. He never hid who he was from you and if this isn't the perfect picture of happiness, then I think ... (read in full...)

How will I know that I have made the right decision, and hurting him for nothing??

Q.   After a weeks break from my boyfriend, we have now decided to part. The break-up was doing neither of us any good, and was actually tearing us both apart. But i now feel so lost and empty.Ive lost a considerable amount of wight and finding it d...

A.   3 August 2008: Sometimes answers don't come to us in black and white. They come to us in gut feelings and inner voices. But we have to listen to them and do what we feel is the right thing. There are no road maps for our lives and thus, no wrong turns. ... (read in full...)

What's wrong with this man?

Q.   My man of 9 years left me for this woman he met.He has never done any kind of drugs and is totally against them.He met her the day after she was released from a Federal Pen after doing six years for selling crack coaine and pot to a bus driver that ...

A.   3 August 2008: No one can answer what is going on but the two of them. She needed him and he was there for her. Given her myspace page, doubt she will change her ways. He is most likely in for some thrills and excitement in this relationship but somehow, I ... (read in full...)

He's keeping photos of his Ex girlfriend. Why?

Q.   hi im 24 years old and im in this relationship with my boyfreind for a couple of months and i discovered in his email and as well on his computer pictures of his ex they were all over i spoke to him about it and i told him to get rid of them and ...

A.   1 August 2008: I also still have photos of my teenage boyfriends. One is the first boyfriend I ever had and the other took me to prom. I am no longer in love with either of them but I take them out every now and then and remember my past. What is wrong with ... (read in full...)

How can I get to know him when we don't spend time together?

Q.   Please advise me as to what I should do.I met this man a few months ago, that I just cannot get out of my mind...we spent a few nights together and went on a few dates, that was the most amazing feeling I have ever felt and really wants this to ...

A.   1 August 2008: Something's just not right with this relationship. I don't think he's in this for all the right reasons. If you two are not communicating well and you don't know each other well, why are you spending the night together? I think you should f... (read in full...)

We were doing great until he disappeared on me! Can we still be friends?

Q.   So we met last summer through some friends. He seemed really nice, he was cute, he liked MCR (which is a rarity here) and so he asked me out. We had fun and decided to go out again. This time was even better and in the end we kissed. So a few days ...

A.   1 August 2008: This is a tough situation. When guys have issues they often don't want to share them, especially with someone new that they are still trying to impress. Really, what could he have said "I have problems, I don't really want to discuss them, it's ... (read in full...)

Do I tell him the truth and risk losing this or keep it to myself?

Q.   My problem is really complicated, but Ill try my best to simplify it. Ok, it involves me and a boy who is 17/18. Basically, he used to be a total ass with me. Used to be nasty, give me evils (childish for a lad of his age, I know, but there you ...

A.   1 August 2008: I would like to add to what emily says. Basically, this boy (man???) does not want to have it known that you and he are conversing. He has this little private affair which he does not want made public. My experience has been (and lots of it) that ... (read in full...)

I've been bleeding, hungry, tired, and throwing up since having sex. What could be wrong?

Q.   So i had sex with my boyfriend about 11 days ago and i have been bleeding ever since. Then today, i threw up twice and my appetite has increased as well. And in addition, i am constantly tired even though ive had plenty of sleep. I told my boyfriend ...

A.   28 July 2008: If it is not time for your period, you should have the bleeding checked out, especially if it is bright red and not here and there bleeding. You threw me off with the increase in appetite, with your other symptoms I would have guessed your appetite ... (read in full...)

I've fallen for someone new. How can I let my current boyfriend down gently?

Q.   been with my bf for nearli year and i really love him but ive got off with other lads behind his back and the latest lad ive met ive realli fallen for and we wanna be together,im going to tell my boyfriend bout us but hes just taken me on holiday ...

A.   27 July 2008: What you are continuing to do to your old boyfriend is very cruel. You need to be honest and up front with him as soon as possible because if he finds out from someone else OR sees you with the new guy it will absolutely crush him, his faith in ... (read in full...)

Should I cut contact? How to get over it?

Q.   Had a girl come after me about 18 months ago, barmaid in my local. She was frustrating from the off with her behviour whilst I was trying to figure out if we were going to get together, a female mutual friend tried to set us up with the old my ...

A.   27 July 2008: What is the reason she wont get with you in "that way". It does sound like she wants you around but I agree with you that you want more, she now knows this and you said your feelings for her were preventing you from getting with someone else. I ... (read in full...)

I am confused and hurt by his cruel actions regarding me and my son!

Q.   hi everyone, im a 36 yr old woman whose been dating a 57 yr old man for 2 yrs, and even though things havent been that good over the last few months as they were in the beginning i never dreamed he would treat me and my son the way he has over the ...

A.   27 July 2008: I would just like to add that perhaps with the additional people in his home HE is stressing out and just trying to find a calm in the storm. He can't take sides and you don't know if he's telling his kids to grow up when you're not around. If th... (read in full...)

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