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... Send *azzerg a private message | | | *azzerg's profile:Well my name is Darrell and this is the second time I have written this so it may be a little briefer lol. I am a good listerner and I would like to think understanding so I would say that is what qualifies me to help people. I also have alot of experience of life, having lived in New Zealand for six months and travelled extensively. Am now back in the UK. I like travel, movies, good company and am a writer. Finally, my relationship status is in a relationship. |
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| Latest articles: Staying the distance...
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 March 2008: All but one of my relationships have been long distance affairs and 'LDR'S' are increasingly common, with the advent of the Internet age especially. It is important to draw a distinction between two different and distinct types of 'LDR': 1.Thos...
Pornography and relationships
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 February 2008: As some people reading this will already know, I moderate and write regularly on this site. Porn is one those issues that is often cited as a problem and also causes a fair amount or moral controversy. On the one hand are the people whose ...
Rules of the game
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 February 2008: “You can’t win anything without playing the game”, isn’t that just the saddest and truest thing you ever did hear?? We all do it, whether we are aware of it or not and although we often rhetorically repudiate, the reality is that we all play them ...
The 'ex' Factor
No replies yet... 17 February 2008: Affairs of the heart are the most complicated phenomena known to mankind – forget Pythagoras theorem or astrophysics. Finding that special one, the one that lasts and produces sensations and experiences without compare, is tricky and most of us have ...
Loving somebody who is afraid
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 January 2008: Fear is one of the most potent human emotions that there is; it's one of the most pervasive there is because it is rooted in our survival instincts, in other words our subconscious mind. In the dim distant past fear would have saved many a early ...
Is love selfish??
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 November 2007: This is actually something I wrote for my blog but it is based on a question written here.... An interesting question on this site was posted the other day from a American teenager (Is love selfish??)who was writing an essay on the question of ...
What is love??
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
15 June 2007: We all each have unique experiences of this thing we call love. As such, pinning down a precise definition of the word itself is challenging enough let alone categorising the sum total of human experience. My own experiences make me a fair way short ...
Out of your league?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 May 2007: If one topic is bound to generate heat between me and one of my friends then it's the perennial question of 'leagues'. Quite simply she insists they exist and I insist they do not although in practice I still sometimes think in terms of them. We all ...
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Should I stay in the relationship with the cute "sex-girl" who had an affair?
Q. My Girlfriend of 7 years confessed to me she was in love with another man and was in a relationship with him for 6 months. She said she was not getting all that she needed from me. That I was all physical, but not spiritual and intelectual enough! ...
A. 13 January 2006: Well i kind of agree here. It is more likely that she opened her eyes to you fully. Obviously she felt there was a deficency in your relationship and dishoneslty looked to fill that gap. Here she failed to communicate and that is a huge failing on ... (read in full...)
Should I be trying harder with the (married) girl I met and fell in love with (online)?
Q. I met a girl online last January year that I quickly became good friends with. I thought she was very attractive, we shared the same sense of humor, but unfortunately, she has been married for 10 years and has 3 children. So I kept it strictly as ...
A. 13 January 2006: I dont think you are crazy. I would say that broadly speaking you are doing the right thing which is to give her your whole-hearted support in the path she chooses. If he does change then you won't lose her totally because part of his transformation ... (read in full...)
I beat myself up so badly after I was nasty to my last girl... I'm now scared to take things further with the new one!
Q. Hi, i broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years about 10 months ago now, and it hurt very badley i lost her, but this was due to me being not a very nice guy, id never been physically violent to her, but i had a horrible temper and shouting was all i ...
A. 13 January 2006: You have to forgive yourself. This is the last part of the healing process and you have to recognise it as such. We all do some really messed up things sometimes; being fallible is part of being human. Also you have to give yourself the necessary ... (read in full...)
My mom, 50, told me she's having an affair with a guy, 25... How do I help her?
Q. My 50 year old mother is having an affair with a man who is 25. I am the only person she trusts enough to tell and I don't know what to say to her. The problem is, that she loves her husband (My stepdad) very much but she is young at heart, she acts ...
A. 13 January 2006: Basically i see the only thing you can do is to offer counsel and support. Maybe you could formulate ways for your mum to let off steam in other ways but you can't force her to make any descisions. It is a tricky position for you to be in. Empathise ... (read in full...)
I like this girl I used to date..but I don't know what to say. Can anyone help me?
Q. im having a problem with my ex-girlfriend. the problem ive been with her 2 times and they only lasted no longer then 3 weeks. ive been getting to know her really really good, i guess she thinks as me as a really really good friend, well ive like ...
A. 13 January 2006: Maybe though she is waiting for you to make the first move? That seems to me to be what you are intimating by saying she acts like she wants you to talk to her. Her acting in this way towards you may not be a bad sign at all, it may be a sign that ... (read in full...)
Do I forget this guy who can never remember my name? Or do I go for it? Help
Q. I met a guy and I think I am falling in love with him. The problem is, we live 200 miles away from each other and only see each other three times a year for weekends when we tour with a choir we are both part of (this has been happening for 1/2 ...
A. 12 January 2006: On the positive side those feelings were there before you split with your boyfriend so you can be relatively safe in the knowledge that this isnt just a 'bounce' thing. Maybe you should set yourself the goal of progressing but at a steady rate, ... (read in full...)
I like this girl I used to date..but I don't know what to say. Can anyone help me?
Q. im having a problem with my ex-girlfriend. the problem ive been with her 2 times and they only lasted no longer then 3 weeks. ive been getting to know her really really good, i guess she thinks as me as a really really good friend, well ive like ...
A. 12 January 2006: Obviously your feelings for this person are strong and that would be the reason you are feeling awkward. Are you scared she wont reciprocate or of rejection? I think you need to get to the root cause of this awkwardness, this block between you and ... (read in full...)
I will never forgive her for stealing from me..but why do I still have feelings for her?
Q. Hi I am a 27yr old married mother of 3 young children. The thing is I fell in love with a close friend of mine two years ago during that time she almost destroyed me and my family by stealing my personal docments for id fraud and also taking v...
A. 12 January 2006: Because you are the one whose feelings have been hurt. If somebody punches somebody else then the person who gets hit is the one who is bruised and hurt. I would say that is what we are dealing with here, a wound that hasnt totally healed yet. You ... (read in full...)
I'm upset because he wants to break up because of the challenges of our age gap relationship.
Q. hi, i'm presently 23 and my boyfriend is 17 years older.when we first met i considered him to be for the most 28,at once something just clicked.after getting to know each other and spending time together he told me that he was 39.i couldnt believe ...
A. 11 January 2006: Gonna double post on this again lol. Sorry i am shocking. Basically you have to make him see its wrong without forcing him through guilt or anything else. I know its hard but try and keep a clear head and box cleaver.Iam not saying this will work ... (read in full...)
I'm upset because he wants to break up because of the challenges of our age gap relationship.
Q. hi, i'm presently 23 and my boyfriend is 17 years older.when we first met i considered him to be for the most 28,at once something just clicked.after getting to know each other and spending time together he told me that he was 39.i couldnt believe ...
A. 11 January 2006: I know, my gf tried to push me away recently because of her psychotic ex. She was trying to protect me and obviously no matter what she said it came across as rejection. Be persistant, this might mean you walk the tightrope between aggrivating him ... (read in full...)
I suffer from depression and just haven't progressed in my life, so how can i stop feeling like this?
Q. Hi, i've suffered with depression for a couple of years now and had such problems with social situations that i had to leave university and quit my driving lessons. My problem is that while i have been sorting myself out with counselling and ...
A. 11 January 2006: If this was your sister writing the first thing i would say is that she needs to be way more supportive of you. Depression is a hard thing to deal with in and off itself without relatives cutting you down. She may mean well but the comment you ... (read in full...)
I'm upset because he wants to break up because of the challenges of our age gap relationship.
Q. hi, i'm presently 23 and my boyfriend is 17 years older.when we first met i considered him to be for the most 28,at once something just clicked.after getting to know each other and spending time together he told me that he was 39.i couldnt believe ...
A. 11 January 2006: Anno this is a bit cheeky but i re-read your post and thought it worth stressing that this is really about his insecurities as well as a desire to protect you. You have to deal with both things. ... (read in full...)
I'm upset because he wants to break up because of the challenges of our age gap relationship.
Q. hi, i'm presently 23 and my boyfriend is 17 years older.when we first met i considered him to be for the most 28,at once something just clicked.after getting to know each other and spending time together he told me that he was 39.i couldnt believe ...
A. 11 January 2006: Well you are 23 and the descision on whether you want to face those challenges is ultimately yours not his. Obviously his intentions are good but as they say, the road to hell is indeed paved with good intentions. You are aware of the challenges you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend only "approves" of my having female friends. Now I've lost touch with the male friends I used to have...
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years, and its great. However, since we have been together he has made it clear that I cannot have any male friends besides him. Due to this I have lost contact with all of my male friends and ...
A. 11 January 2006: I understand tending to get along better with the opposite sex. As a man I prefer female friends, and often my partners have been women who prefer male friends. There is nothing wrong with prefering the company of the oppsite sex. In my case i am ... (read in full...)
How can I show him I like him?
Q. I just recently met this guy that is all I want in a man but when I am alone with him I shut down from being aggressive because he seems out of my league. I want to know how can I show him I like him without seeming standoffish?...
A. 11 January 2006: Again i have to largely concur with Dawnest. Enlist a third or even a fourth party to make things smoother and the situation less pressured. Thinking in terms of leagues is unhelpful even though i am one to talk as i have done it. You are two people ... (read in full...)
Does he really love me or did he just say it?
Q. I'm 20 and going into my first relationship and I'm abit apprehensive about it as my b/f lives 500 miles away. We met a few times at partys when I visited my aunt in wales. He said it was love at first sight, I think it was too and we're getting ...
A. 11 January 2006: I am speaking here as a guy who would do something like your bf. Indeed I am perfectly prepared to declare feelings for my partner despite never having met my partner and i will walk the walk as well. Dawnest, however, is probably right here that ... (read in full...)
Should I tell himI've had a sexual encounter before?
Q. Should I tell my man that I'm not a virgin? I've been in a long distance relationship for a few months now and me and my b/f havent had sex but we talk about it alot and look forward to sharing the experience though we feel there is no rush. Anyw...
A. 11 January 2006: I would kind of concur with both. If you are not comfortable then this will eat away at you. However, as has been said its debateable whether you are technically lying at all. To me you are still a virgin if you have not been fully penertrated but ... (read in full...)
My ex wants me back but he's controlling and makes me cry. Should I go back to him?
Q. I am still in love with my ex boyfriend who would take me back in a second, but when I am with him he often talks to me badly, tries to control everything I do and often makes me cry. I know he loves me alot but I do not know if it is worth putting ...
A. 11 January 2006: Decent people in love can be blinded. You may love him but does he make you happy? It seems to me the answer is no. Thus the answer to the question is no. ... (read in full...)
She wants me back-I still love her but am scared she will hurt me again...what should I do?
Q. Me and my girlfriend of 3 years split up on Boxing Day (just over 2 weeks ago), and I’m absolutely distraught. We didn’t split because we wanted too – we knew that if we didn’t, we’d end up driving each other apart. Things hadn’t been great for a ...
A. 11 January 2006: Hmmm tricky. Am unsure as to whether the title means she has expressly said she wants you back or you are just thinking she does because of how you broke up. You are both kind of in limbo right now and that is never a good place to be and it is ... (read in full...)
When should I tell my boyfriend I love him?
Q. Hi, I need some advice. I have been going out with my boyfriend for three months now. I think I am really in love with him, but how do I know if its the right time to say I love you? I'm going to see him this Saturday and I really want to turn him ...
A. 10 January 2006: Is there two seperate questions here? *blushes* To the when to tell him you love him thing i think you should just go with the flow but find a really romantic moment so its special. Plan a big night out or something. As to the turning on thing i ... (read in full...)
This boy says he loves me even though he hasn't met me.Should I leave my current bf for this guy?
Q. I am a 16 year old girl with a 20 year old boyfriend. but i have recently met a 16 year old guy that says he knows i am the one and that he loves me even though he has never met me. my boyfriend has cheated on me before and we broke up for about a ...
A. 10 January 2006: Are you happy in the relationship? Do you trust your b/f? If the answer to both these questions is yes then the answer to the question posed by this 16 y/o is obviously no. If the answer to either is no then the answer is maybe. To say he knows you ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to my wife's twin!
Q. am a 30-year-old married man. I am happy with my wife but the only problem is her twin sister! I am attracted towards her too. I try to avoid them and get successful also but whenever I see her again I am back to square one. To be true, I don’t ...
A. 10 January 2006: You say that you fantasise about them. Do you mean your wife and your twin getting it on? The problem with a desire ignored or surpressed is that it often grows. However there is nothing wrong with fantasy. Thought crime thankfully isnt considered ... (read in full...)
I really like this girl but don't know if I should ask her out...
Q. I really fancy this girl (with one leg shorter than the other), who I keep seeing at the railway station on the way into the city, or out and about. I don't even know her name, but we seem we to be on smiling knodding terms. The first time I saw...
A. 10 January 2006: I think you are over compensating. Yes she can make her own mind up, disabled people are often more independant minded than allot of able-bodied people. Her friends, like any friends, might be protective and the gap in age looks big on paper but in ... (read in full...)
He can be wonderful when we are alone but releases negative vibes when we are with others...should we be together??
Q. What do you do when you love someone who you know is just so wrong for you in every way.My husband and I have been married for 12 years.In that time we have seperated several times but this is the longest time (12 weeks)as I still love him but I am ...
A. 10 January 2006: I think this issue cannot be ignored or brushed aside. Obviously it needs addressing as it has already caused several micro-splits. Have you two sat down and talked about this issue with just the two of you present? It seems to me that you need to ... (read in full...)
He has become cold...how can I get him to talk to me??
Q. im 31 year old woman who has been going out with a man for the past 9 months. he seems to hav developed cold feet since 17 december 2005. what do i do to win him back i love him deraly. he is not talking to me i feel like screaming....
A. 10 January 2006: Well...first I would have to ask if there is any significance to that date because you seem very specific about it. If something did happen then it is that you need to discuss.... (read in full...)
Why can't I forget him when he doesn't seem to like me?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 9 months.hes 30, im 24. but after all he dumped me! i still love him and wanna be with me. but he doesnt like me that much! we had lots of problems in our friendship because he has never got close to me like other ...
A. 10 January 2006: Seems to me that you need time and space to heal. The problems in your friendship obviously stem from your lack of closure. You need the time and space to reconcile yourself to the fact that although he will always be special to you, you are no ... (read in full...)
Why can't I forget him when he doesn't seem to like me?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 9 months.hes 30, im 24. but after all he dumped me! i still love him and wanna be with me. but he doesnt like me that much! we had lots of problems in our friendship because he has never got close to me like other ...
A. 10 January 2006: I would say the problems in your friendship stem from the fact that you don't have closure. I think you need time and space to heal, probably with minimal contact between you and this guy. Then maybe you can come back to the friendship and there ... (read in full...)
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