Like what
he writes?
... Add *azzerg to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *azzerg a private message | | | *azzerg's profile:Well my name is Darrell and this is the second time I have written this so it may be a little briefer lol. I am a good listerner and I would like to think understanding so I would say that is what qualifies me to help people. I also have alot of experience of life, having lived in New Zealand for six months and travelled extensively. Am now back in the UK. I like travel, movies, good company and am a writer. Finally, my relationship status is in a relationship. |
|
| Latest articles: Staying the distance...
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 March 2008: All but one of my relationships have been long distance affairs and 'LDR'S' are increasingly common, with the advent of the Internet age especially. It is important to draw a distinction between two different and distinct types of 'LDR': 1.Thos...
Pornography and relationships
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 February 2008: As some people reading this will already know, I moderate and write regularly on this site. Porn is one those issues that is often cited as a problem and also causes a fair amount or moral controversy. On the one hand are the people whose ...
Rules of the game
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 February 2008: “You can’t win anything without playing the game”, isn’t that just the saddest and truest thing you ever did hear?? We all do it, whether we are aware of it or not and although we often rhetorically repudiate, the reality is that we all play them ...
The 'ex' Factor
No replies yet... 17 February 2008: Affairs of the heart are the most complicated phenomena known to mankind – forget Pythagoras theorem or astrophysics. Finding that special one, the one that lasts and produces sensations and experiences without compare, is tricky and most of us have ...
Loving somebody who is afraid
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 January 2008: Fear is one of the most potent human emotions that there is; it's one of the most pervasive there is because it is rooted in our survival instincts, in other words our subconscious mind. In the dim distant past fear would have saved many a early ...
Is love selfish??
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 November 2007: This is actually something I wrote for my blog but it is based on a question written here.... An interesting question on this site was posted the other day from a American teenager (Is love selfish??)who was writing an essay on the question of ...
What is love??
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
15 June 2007: We all each have unique experiences of this thing we call love. As such, pinning down a precise definition of the word itself is challenging enough let alone categorising the sum total of human experience. My own experiences make me a fair way short ...
Out of your league?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 May 2007: If one topic is bound to generate heat between me and one of my friends then it's the perennial question of 'leagues'. Quite simply she insists they exist and I insist they do not although in practice I still sometimes think in terms of them. We all ...
|
She said she was interested in me but started dating another guy! Why would she tell me she liked me then?
Q. Yo i like this girl n im pretty sure she likes me too she even said she did but before i could ask her out she started goin out with this other guy and i was just wondering if you thought she did actually like me or if she was just being mean...
A. 2 February 2007: Impossible to tell. Did she say in what way she liked you? Maybe she just liked you as a friend? Maybe she thought you werent interested. People often assume that because their feelings for somebody are strong that the other person automatically ... (read in full...)
Is he flirting with me?
Q. I like this guy, who is so cute, since last year and still do.we were friends last year,but now he doesn't talk to me.He always blushes when he sees me,looks at me but looks away when I see him,and some times pokes me! Is he flirting with me?...
A. 2 February 2007: Does he make alot of eye contact?? Is he 'close' to you when you are together, I mean does he invade your personal space alot? Does he 'check you out'? Not talking could be because he is shy....... (read in full...)
She has real committal issues and I often feel as though she is actively trying to sabotage the relationship.
Q. I am a 35 yr old male and have been dating a 45 yr old lady for almost a yr. I have never been married and she has been divorced twice with two children ages 20 and 21. Mostly, we have a wonderful connection and a lot of intamacy. We both declare to ...
A. 2 February 2007: I think I would need more detail here; for example, what does she do to 'sabotage' the relationship? Is it possible that although she doesnt do it consciously (ie, she is aware of what she is doing) but does it subconsciously? Fear of commitment ... (read in full...)
He said he wasnt ready for a relationship, am I wasting my time hoping he will change his mind ?
Q. my bf dumped me because he says he just isnt ready for a relationship and doesnt want to hurt me. Am i wasting my time hopeing he will chage his mind? And is it possiable to still be good friends, im scared ill always want more?...
A. 25 January 2007: It's a little hard to tell on this one. Did he give specific reasons why he felt he wasnt ready? If so I would tend to be guided by that. For example, is he going through a tough time? If so then there is hope he would want a relationship at the ... (read in full...)
She was asked if she would date me and she said "eww no." Is this my fault??
Q. So... I think I've totally screwed up my chances with a girl, and want to know if there is ANY chance that she'll even consider dating me now. Thing is, she's apparantly a manipulator sort of. If she knows a guy likes her, she uses it to get t...
A. 25 January 2007: Well she may have been freaked out by the neediness but its possible she likes the attention and/or the book carrying so that maybe why shes showing a slight interest to reel you back in. The thing is its really impossible to tell, its entirely ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and in love! But he doesn't feel the same. Should I just forget him then?
Q. i am 16 and in love! The problem is the guy i love doesn't like me like that! he flirts all the time with me but tells me he doesnt like me! He has told me a few times that he likes me but if i confront him about it he acts like he was joking. ...
A. 19 January 2007: I think there are basically two explantions for his activity; either he is really shy and scared of feeling anything for you, which is possible given that he may think he is beneath you, given the different social circles you are in. Either that or ... (read in full...)
Do you think this guy really likes me or is he like this with other girls too? Maybe he's just shy?
Q. i am in love with this guy i meet. i don't know how he feels about me and i haven't told him how i feel. we both flirt with each other. however, i dont know if he does this with all the girls, as ever since we have met we having been doing this. ...
A. 17 January 2007: I think we all flirt a little. The thing about flirting is that it doesnt mean alot in and of itself. Its possible that this guy has real feelings for you and that the 'cold' periods are when he gets scared of that. It is certainly possible for the ... (read in full...)
I've never had a boyfriend and I really want one. Guys always seem to think I just want friendship. Where am I going wrong?
Q. dear cupid i dont know what is wrong with me. i have such low confidence and find it so hard to get a boyfriend. i lost my mother a year ago and my best friend last august and i have not motivation anymore. not having a boyfriend never used to...
A. 17 January 2007: I think the first thing you need to do is work on your self-confidence to be honest. Self-confidence is very sexy and very attractive to men and women alike. People pick up on it too. Obviously the people around you are not helping that either but ... (read in full...)
I feel betrayed and miserable b/c of her past. How can I shake off these feelings?
Q. I'm really upset about the fact that I can't seem to be able to put my gf's past behind me. I love her dearly, I trust her 100% not to cheat on me, but lotsa times I find myself thinking about her and the guys in her past (she is also older than me ...
A. 12 December 2006: Is it possible she hid it because in some way shes ashamed of it and is scared if she reveals it then it will damage the relationship and hurt you? I think the only way to get rid of these feelings is to let them out in some way, short of ... (read in full...)
I want to write a love poem for my baby's father - any help?
Q. I have been in a relationship for almost five years and out of the years I have a two year old son I am in love so much with my baby's father and I feel like I would really like to show him in a poem how much I love him can you help!!!!...
A. 11 December 2006: Well I can try. The first important thing is to remember you are crafting an expression of how you feel; so prim and proper grammer and rhyme is not essntial. You need to think about what is special to him, what is special about you both as a ... (read in full...)
I fancy her and I want to give her something sweet and nice. Any good ideas?
Q. i really fancy this girl who is my friend. we are both 16. we dont see each other outside of school. but i want to give her a nice present. any ideas? are teddies not good for this occasion? i dont want to make it too obvious i like her but wanna ...
A. 11 December 2006: I think that depends on if shes a teddy kind of girl. Me2u bears can be really good here and they tend to suit all occasions. One possible idea might be to, if you have the capability, to find out what music she likes and make her a CD? It's sweet ... (read in full...)
I feel betrayed and miserable b/c of her past. How can I shake off these feelings?
Q. I'm really upset about the fact that I can't seem to be able to put my gf's past behind me. I love her dearly, I trust her 100% not to cheat on me, but lotsa times I find myself thinking about her and the guys in her past (she is also older than me ...
A. 11 December 2006: I'd recommend finding, watching and absorbing a film called Chasing Amy. Seriously, I think you have done right in not talking to her about how you feel at the moment but there maybe a stage where it is appropiate and necessary.
You need to work ... (read in full...)
She says "if only you were...taller" - I think that's messed up! What should I do about this?
Q. Dear Cupid, Im having a little bit of a problem here. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for some time now and she seems to complain or lead on that "if only you were a little bit taller..." because she is about an inch taller than me. ...
A. 11 December 2006: I dont think its messed up at all; I know quite a few women who prefer taller guys. I would say that the point is that shes still with you and obviously it doesnt bother her that much or else she wouldnt have got with you in the first place. I cant ... (read in full...)
Does he just want me to still like him to boost his ego..or is the the real thing??
Q. I'm a teen girl and coming up for 2months ago my long term boyfriend split up with me because he was having problems at home and couldn't deal with the extra stress. This could of been an excuse but I do know that they were having problems, even so. ...
A. 2 November 2006: This is one of those things that its going to be hard for us to answer because at the end of the day you know this guy (and probably know the answer to your own question too). The bottom line is that if he just wants you to boost his ego then ... (read in full...)
I like this girl and she seems to like me - but she wants to get over her ex! What can be done??
Q. well here it is a girl that i like /love is strugling to get over her x boy friends that she went out with 2 years ago. i know she reli likes me cuz she has told me this and we spent the other night at a friends and ended up getting with eachother ...
A. 2 November 2006: I think the first thing you have to do is to give her space to do this. I know that is going to be hard but you have to accept that there is not an awful lot you can do as such. If you try to force things and apply too much pressure then you will ... (read in full...)
Am I over him?
Q. If I really wanted my ex back, would I be missing him? This sounds strange, but we've been on and off since last December, he's given me the best times of my life, and I think I still love him, and know I want him back. But I don't ever look back on ...
A. 2 November 2006: This one confused me a little, I have to confess, which may or may not accurately reflect your state of confusion. How, truly, can you seperate the times you had with this guy from himself as an individual?? They are one and the same thing, would ... (read in full...)
My online guy wants to meet me...I don't know what to do.
Q. i have been talking to a guy on MSN for about 2 weeks now..online we seem to really connect and he says he can't get me out of his head and he really likes me, he also has hinted about meeting in person but hasn't put any pressure on me..im 16 and ...
A. 1 November 2006: I would agree that 2 weeks is too soon, that you should talk on the phone first and generally establish a much closer relationship. One thing that you could also do, if you know his full name, is to Google him which might provide a bit more ... (read in full...)
What have I done wrong??
Q. Hello Just looking for some realistic and professional advice to my problem. If you can provide me with a solution(s) then it will be very much appreciated, thank you. I am a 41 year old male. My situation is very unique and complex to me bu...
A. 31 October 2006: I agree with the other answer pretty much. The thing is you have done nothing particularly wrong, in fact you have done everything right as far as I can see and I can say from having been in similar positions that it does hurt. What hurts most of ... (read in full...)
We snogged and she took it seriously. Now she's being real clingy! How do I tell her I just want to be friends?
Q. Theres a girl i've been friends with for about a year now. Shes a bit fragile and I don't want to hurt her but I don't know what to do. A couple of Fridays ago, we both were pretty drunk and ended up having a bit of a snog. I just took it as a one...
A. 31 October 2006: I don't think there are any easy ways around this so to my mind the best thing you can do is be frank but try and say it in a way that emphasises you still care about her. I have to ask, is the clinginess the reason you only want to be friends with ... (read in full...)
How do you know if a guy really loves you?
Q. How do you know if a guy realy loves you?...
A. 31 October 2006: I would echo the other answer and only add that you are best judging that by what he does, not what he says because sometimes the two things can be unrelated. In general, does he put you before himself...does he try and be kind to you even if hes ... (read in full...)
Im really happy with my first BF of 8 months, but My mum keeps telling me to get out and date more!!
Q. Hi. I've been dating my bf for about 8 months now and things between us are great. We love each other and we're happy together. However, my parents, my mother in particular, is always saying that i should get out there and date more to see what ...
A. 17 October 2006: I have to say that its possible that your mum is trying to relive some of her own life through you here, and to be honest it sounds to me that you are being the mature one here if anything. Personally, I would be firm but non-confrontational in your ... (read in full...)
When I like a guy, I come on too strong! I don't want to seem desperate so what should I do?
Q. I need help. I can cope without a boyfriend for a bit but then when mates start to talk about guys they like i get a bit upset. I look around sometimes and all i see is couples. I know i shouldn't need a boy to be happy and this makes me seem ...
A. 3 October 2006: Instead of focusing on other things why dont you try to keep the focus on the guy but stagger things more? Set yourself a timetable and stick to it, like gaps between texts and between seeing each other. Reward yourself for sticking to the schedule ... (read in full...)
When I like a guy, I come on too strong! I don't want to seem desperate so what should I do?
Q. I need help. I can cope without a boyfriend for a bit but then when mates start to talk about guys they like i get a bit upset. I look around sometimes and all i see is couples. I know i shouldn't need a boy to be happy and this makes me seem ...
A. 3 October 2006: Instead of focusing on other things why dont you try to keep the focus on the guy but stagger things more? Set yourself a timetable and stick to it, like gaps between texts and between seeing each other. Reward yourself for sticking to the schedule ... (read in full...)
How can I take his comments in my stride??
Q. Hi guys, I would love some advice to help me deal with these awful feelings I have. Be warned - I will sound pathetic. My boyfriend is great. However, I dread him commenting on other women - which in fairness, he doesnt tend to do, except for c...
A. 2 October 2006: I think that the first thing you need to do is stop berating yourself for how you feel. Often with such things there is no right or wrong, or pathetic. Berating yourself isnt helping here and is a form of self-torture which is another symptom of ... (read in full...)
Do men just get a kick out of playing stupid mind games?
Q. I've never been very good at starting relationships it always seems to go wrong. A short while ago I made eye contact with a guy and this continued for about a month. I assumed he was interested. He eventually spoke and asked for my phone number. ...
A. 30 September 2006: I would agree with Dr Pete and only add that if people are playing mind-games it is often to boost their ego or else put themselves at some way in the centre of attention. ... (read in full...)
I'm pining away or him...will I ever meet someone with whom I feel so deeply connected?
Q. hello, i'm writing because I've been so sad and heartbroken over someone, and I just can't seem to let go of him. It was a hard, on again off again relationship that lasted two years. He broke my heart over and over...he had intimacy issues,...
A. 30 September 2006: Well, i think part of the problem here is that although he is saying he wants you to move on hes not exactly helping you if he is writing romantic emails. This is one of those questions that is highly personal because the answer is basically it ... (read in full...)
Who the heck does this guy like...me or this other girl?
Q. i have liked this boy for 2 years a while ago we found out he liked my mate and she told our other mate that she liked him then i found out from some boy recently he has stopped talkin to her and has started talkin to me more and now im not sure how ...
A. 30 September 2006: This seems to be a very tangled web; I think the first thing you need to do is stop relying on third parties for the information here and maybe try and find out what is going on for yourself. The thing about third-party information is that while its ... (read in full...)
Who the heck does this guy like...me or this other girl?
Q. i have liked this boy for 2 years a while ago we found out he liked my mate and she told our other mate that she liked him then i found out from some boy recently he has stopped talkin to her and has started talkin to me more and now im not sure how ...
A. 30 September 2006: This seems to be a very tangled web; I... (read in full...)
She's went off me! I cant give up, as I know we are meant to be together-I wantto get her back!
Q. i've just broke up with my girlfriend,we've only been together for 4 months,but ive known her for much longer, in that time we got engaged and even talked about having kids in the next year and a half,but things went bad about 3weeks ago,her best ...
A. 28 September 2006: Well I'm not so sure she has gone off you at all here - i'm sure what she said was how she genuinely felt, plus im sure shes very aware of the risks that going to Iraq carries. In that sense what she is doing here is an attempt at self-preservation. ... (read in full...)
I caught my partners mate eyeing me up and down, what's with that?
Q. I was taking my son to cubs the other night and a mate of my partner was stood opposite me when I was chatting to another bloke. After I had stopped I turned to talk to him and I caught him looking me up and down like a once over and then he moved ...
A. 24 September 2006: Well he moved closer to you so he was trying to narrow the physical gap and I dont think he would do that if it was a 'wha the hell is she wearing' look, hed probably flinch momentarily. Did he seem awkward?? Was he flirty?? If somebody changes ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend always looks at porn, yet never wants sex with me. What's this all about?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for nearly a year and a half now, we, however have not had sex for about 10 months, he says he is not in the mood, yet i find when i access our pc he has been regualry looking at porn, what is this all ...
A. 24 September 2006: Well I would be hurt and insulted too to be honest. I think you need to be frank and confront this head on and ask him what the problem is in your sex life. Maybe you should ask him about fantasies and develop from there.
Maybe he feels things w... (read in full...)
Is there a chance he could still love me, or should I just give up and move on??
Q. hey, im 16, ive just broken up with my bf who i was crazy in love with. im rli rli hurting, and confused what to do. he told me he wanted to end it because it wasnt the same anymore, bt he told other people it was because he had problems and he ...
A. 22 September 2006: In general I would say keep yourself busy, try and go out with friends and confide in them if necessary and try and carry on as much as possible but dont be scared to lean on people when you feel the need.
Specifically it sounds to me like you... (read in full...)
She doesnt feel the same way anymore but wants to work things out!!
Q. My girlfrend says she doesnt feel the same about me anymore. She says she still loves me and wants to try to work it out. Any ideas as to how I can do this? (bearing in mind that we are currently in different countries and this has to be resolved b...
A. 22 September 2006: Well I guess the question you need to ask is how do you feel about this?? If you want to work it out then go for it - she sounds like shes confused and maybe needs to talk to work things through. I think thats what you need to do talk things through ... (read in full...)
Should she stay with a man she doesn't love, to keep her young daughter happy or is she better making a break now?
Q. Hi there, A few months ago I left my wife to live with a girl I met at work, we have known each other for 2 years and always got on really well, she left her husband because he would not let her go out with her friends and kept her in his sight all ...
A. 21 September 2006: Well, I really dont think that this is your call to make and I think that, rather than inform her descision, you have to let her make her own. Having said that, as the child of a broken-home I would point that if asked then I would most likely say ... (read in full...)
I've never met the boy I am going out with on chat, what would be cheating?
Q. dear evyone i have a problem, this may seem stupid but i have kinda ben going out wiv this lad i mt online in a chat room we have never met though so im nt sure if it wud b cheating if i went out wiv this lad thts in my class at schhol? plz help i ...
A. 17 September 2006: Well, with all due respect, if you have never met you are not properly going out. Does he think you are an item?? Does he know you are interested in this other boy?? If you havent then although you may not be cheating you are leading him on by ... (read in full...)
Is female cheating really acceptable ??
Q. we all have grown to accept that most males cheat almost to the point of accepting and forgiving it all the time, when it happens. Is female cheating acceptable? When they cheat it almost definetly ends in breakups. They never get chances like males ...
A. 16 September 2006: I would concur with the consensus that no form of cheating is acceptable - whether it is a man or a women doing it. I have to say I feel that sex is a WANT and a NEED;
Fantasies are wants but they are underpinned by a deep-seated drive to have sex... (read in full...)
Ive started dating my ex, but what concerns me is hes shorter than me!!
Q. I have recently started seeing an ex-boyfriend again who I have been on and off with for 3 years, during which we lived together for one year. I ended the relationship because I had a lot of guy friends and he kept getting really jealous. Now we ...
A. 15 September 2006: You remind me very much of one of my friends who has a big thing about height. I think the height think is to do with a subconscious desire to be protected and in some people its unnerveing if your partner is of lesser stature. I dont know what to ... (read in full...)
How can I get back what we lost?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years and everything has been fun. lately he hasn't been really into having sex and he seems distant.. we had a fight the other day and he said he just wants everything to be like it was when we first met. ...
A. 15 September 2006: Well obviously something is playing on his mind and first things first you need to get that out of him; you need to talk about what is happening in the relationship and find the source of this problem. What has caused him to stop thinking he is in ... (read in full...)
Im keeping myself busy, but still cant get over the hurt of my break up.. please help!!
Q. I broke up with my ex 5 months ago. I am doing all the right things - keeping busy, seeing friends. But I still cry when I am alone, and I still miss him so very much. I really believe he was the love of my life and I don't know how I will ever get ...
A. 15 September 2006: I don't think you can attach a set time scale to these kind of things - sometimes its 5 weeks, sometimes 5 months sometimes a year. I think you need to allow yourself space to heal and say to yourself 'it doesnt matter how much time it takes but I ... (read in full...)
How can I make me boyfriend appreciate me?
Q. Heya I just want advice on how I can get my boyfriend running after me like that hes lucky to have me and that he can't treat me like sh*t and think i will still love him. What things can i do? thanks...
A. 12 September 2006: The temptation here is to start playing games for example setting jealousy traps or treating him in a tit-for-tat way. This, with very very rare exception, the wrong way to do things because it leads to a spiral of degenerating behaviour and the end ... (read in full...)
Not sure of his intentions towards me and not sure whether to let go ?
Q. I've been carrying a torch for someone I go to uni with for well over a year now, but it was always easy to push my feelings aside because both of us were involved with other people. We are both currently single at the moment and a few weeks ago ...
A. 9 September 2006: I think you can maybe take some comfort from the fact you didnt have sex; if he was stringing you along then he would have probably wanted full-blown sex and then acted cold. You have obviously known this guy for a while and I think its fair to say ... (read in full...)
| *azzerg's friends
These are mutual friends, so *azzerg has
added them and they have added *azzerg!
|
