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female
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*arbiegal
writes: i have been with my boyfriend for 9 months.hes 30, im 24. but after all he dumped me! i still love him and wanna be with me. but he doesnt like me that much! we had lots of problems in our friendship because he has never got close to me like other couples, hes different from the other boys for me, thats why im attracted to him very much.i know that i should forget him but how? please help me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (10 January 2006):
 You are unable to forget him because he was a challenge, and you like challenges. But do you really want to be with a guy who "doesn't like you that much" and who is unable to get close to you? A guy who truly loves you will love you on his own terms, without any manipulation, persuasion, or excessive effort on your part. You need to be with someone who will put equally as much effort into bettering the relationship, and who WANTS to be with you as much as you want to be with him. This guy doesn't, and you must realize that and move on. The prospect of meeting someone who will value you so much more is what you should focus on. Look toward future relationship possibilities, and look away from your relationship with this guy who doesn't seem to care about you all that much.
Good luck and best of wishes.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006): The hardest part to this is dealing with the rejection. We tend to work really hard on relationships where we have to chase people. It's the whole drama part of it; can I get close to this person? Will I catch them? The simple fact is that he dumped you and that’s what hurts you the most right now. You said so yourself that you guys had lots of problems together. Moving on is never an easy thing to do but that’s what you have to do in this case cause there is no other alternative. If you two are meant to be he will come back to you, hence the saying if you love someone set them free if they are meant to be yours they will come back. What I would recommend is start dating again. You need to get your mind off of him and move forward. You’re going to look back at this one-day and be grateful that it happened.
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A
female
reader, Purple Thistle +, writes (10 January 2006):
Older man syndrome?! Sophisticated,charming, a bit of cash to flash,maybe. You all starry eyed at making this charming man see little you? Now he doesn't want you - the swine!We always want what we can't have, don't we? Think about it - he is not worth it - used you and abused you 'cause he could.
Get out there and meet someone else. Trust me, when you do you will wonder what all the fuss was about. This mans a loser. You are not.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (10 January 2006):
 Seems to me that you need time and space to heal. The problems in your friendship obviously stem from your lack of closure. You need the time and space to reconcile yourself to the fact that although he will always be special to you, you are no longer able to be together in the relationship sense. However you do have a friendship and that is something but you need to get closure or else your friendship could suffer too.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (10 January 2006):
I would say the problems in your friendship stem from the fact that you don't have closure. I think you need time and space to heal, probably with minimal contact between you and this guy. Then maybe you can come back to the friendship and there will be less friction. He will obviously always be special to you and you will heal, you just need time and space.
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A
female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (10 January 2006):
Your attraction to him started off when he treated you badly at the beginningof the relationship and the nastier he was, the stronger you felt for him. he became your 'drug' and your one aim was to change him into your dream man.
I sense the sex was good when he was feeling in a good mood and terrible when he felt you were getting on his nerves.
Learn from the mistakes you made,get back your self esteem and start meeting new guys who wont treat you like a piece of dog dirt. You will get over him once you start a new relationship and realise that there is more to a relationship than arguing and rowing/being made to feel second class.
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