Like what
he writes?
... Add *azzerg to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *azzerg a private message | | | *azzerg's profile:Well my name is Darrell and this is the second time I have written this so it may be a little briefer lol. I am a good listerner and I would like to think understanding so I would say that is what qualifies me to help people. I also have alot of experience of life, having lived in New Zealand for six months and travelled extensively. Am now back in the UK. I like travel, movies, good company and am a writer. Finally, my relationship status is in a relationship. |
|
| Latest articles: Staying the distance...
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 March 2008: All but one of my relationships have been long distance affairs and 'LDR'S' are increasingly common, with the advent of the Internet age especially. It is important to draw a distinction between two different and distinct types of 'LDR': 1.Thos...
Pornography and relationships
This question has 16 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 February 2008: As some people reading this will already know, I moderate and write regularly on this site. Porn is one those issues that is often cited as a problem and also causes a fair amount or moral controversy. On the one hand are the people whose ...
Rules of the game
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 February 2008: “You can’t win anything without playing the game”, isn’t that just the saddest and truest thing you ever did hear?? We all do it, whether we are aware of it or not and although we often rhetorically repudiate, the reality is that we all play them ...
The 'ex' Factor
No replies yet... 17 February 2008: Affairs of the heart are the most complicated phenomena known to mankind – forget Pythagoras theorem or astrophysics. Finding that special one, the one that lasts and produces sensations and experiences without compare, is tricky and most of us have ...
Loving somebody who is afraid
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 January 2008: Fear is one of the most potent human emotions that there is; it's one of the most pervasive there is because it is rooted in our survival instincts, in other words our subconscious mind. In the dim distant past fear would have saved many a early ...
Is love selfish??
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 November 2007: This is actually something I wrote for my blog but it is based on a question written here.... An interesting question on this site was posted the other day from a American teenager (Is love selfish??)who was writing an essay on the question of ...
What is love??
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
15 June 2007: We all each have unique experiences of this thing we call love. As such, pinning down a precise definition of the word itself is challenging enough let alone categorising the sum total of human experience. My own experiences make me a fair way short ...
Out of your league?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 May 2007: If one topic is bound to generate heat between me and one of my friends then it's the perennial question of 'leagues'. Quite simply she insists they exist and I insist they do not although in practice I still sometimes think in terms of them. We all ...
|
It hurt when my BF said my "problems" would have finished our relationship. I don't know how to react to that!
Q. Hi, I've been very depressed for a long time, about 3 to 4 years. I told my bf of 2 years about it and sometimes talk to him about it, yet I find it diffcult because he makes me feel bad because I am depressed. Anyway he told me that if I was no...
A. 28 March 2006: email addy on the forums lol...think its in the breakup one... (read in full...)
It hurt when my BF said my "problems" would have finished our relationship. I don't know how to react to that!
Q. Hi, I've been very depressed for a long time, about 3 to 4 years. I told my bf of 2 years about it and sometimes talk to him about it, yet I find it diffcult because he makes me feel bad because I am depressed. Anyway he told me that if I was no...
A. 28 March 2006: First you have to have hope that things will get better. It will take time and alot of hard work but you will get there. It seems to me that your partner is not being very helpful at all. I have to ask, how do you feel about this relationship?
... (read in full...)
It hurt when my BF said my "problems" would have finished our relationship. I don't know how to react to that!
Q. Hi, I've been very depressed for a long time, about 3 to 4 years. I told my bf of 2 years about it and sometimes talk to him about it, yet I find it diffcult because he makes me feel bad because I am depressed. Anyway he told me that if I was no...
A. 23 March 2006: Hiya,
Hope you are well today? I am sorry to hear you are going through this; how do you think he would react to the idea of joint counselling where he was involved? Obviously he is having problems dealing with this situation too. He should b... (read in full...)
Am I shallow because I couldn't just "be friends" after our breakup?
Q. Please help. I was on and off with a girl for 5 years and she told me many times she was madly in love with me, but I didn't return for mistaken reasons. Now she's in love with someone else after 2 months. I told her I love her but she said she...
A. 23 March 2006: In my opinion no it wasn't shallow. Friendships after an intense and or lengthy attachment take time and often fraught with initial problems. Space often isn't a bad idea. The fact is that you have those feelings for her and if you had kept them ... (read in full...)
How do I get over my loneliness? And did I move too fast!?
Q. I'm 28 and I've just broken up with my boyfriend of four months. I know it doesn't sound like a long time but we were both incredibly intense when we got involved and things moved very quickly - we were already talking about marriage, babies and ...
A. 22 March 2006: Hiya :). Yes it is a basic human need to want to love and be loved and that isn't a bad thing. It always seems that other people have it easy too although in truth they do have their own problems too. However, this doesn't help and makes it feel ... (read in full...)
It hurt when my BF said my "problems" would have finished our relationship. I don't know how to react to that!
Q. Hi, I've been very depressed for a long time, about 3 to 4 years. I told my bf of 2 years about it and sometimes talk to him about it, yet I find it diffcult because he makes me feel bad because I am depressed. Anyway he told me that if I was no...
A. 22 March 2006: First things first, you should never feel guilty about being depressed or let anybody make you feel that way. Your partner especially should be a source of support and it is bad for the relationship if he creates an enviroment where you feel unable ... (read in full...)
He won't have sex and he's crazy moody and nasty... Why?
Q. I have two problems in my relationship. One is that my boyfriend has gone right off sex recently and I haven't a clue why, I am lucky if I get to have sex with him once a week now and it used to be at least once a day!! I have been with him for ...
A. 21 March 2006: Well you need to find out what is wrong by doing a bit of detective work. It sounds to me like he is under some kind of stress or pressure which he is either in denial to himself about or he feels he has to keep hidden from you.
Obvio... (read in full...)
After we got married my gf felt unattracted to me and left and now i am destroying myself!!
Q. I got married to my girlfriend of two years back in August. Since soon after the marraige things started to go a little strange, and she began to doubt her feelings for me. Over the last couple of months, she started to express a lack of attracti...
A. 20 March 2006: I think the first thing you need to do is think about alternative sources of support. I am thinking friends and family now, other people you know who will be there for you, listern to you and help you out. I can't disagree with the notion that she ... (read in full...)
I keep thinking about her, HELP!
Q. Several weeks ago I initiated a break up with a woman that I had had 2 year relationship with. Due to circumstances this was not a live-in relationship but was very close- we had worked on some projects together. got along very well,found that we ...
A. 16 March 2006: This is a hard one to answer because the cause of your break-up is not stated and i am wondering if; although you state you could never get back into a close relationship with her you have some regrets about ending it and how it ended. It certainly ... (read in full...)
He still has pics of his ex, why?
Q. DO I have the right to ask my boyfriend why he still keeps pictures of him and his ex? They went out about 3 years ago for one year. He says she had many problems, he lied to himself that he was in love with her, but he's still keeping pictures of ...
A. 16 March 2006: It seems to me that your bf could simply be the type that does keep things from his past. You said he keeps them in with his memorabilla so obviously this is not the only thing from his past he has kept. There are various reasons he could keep it; ... (read in full...)
I want him to be with me, but he doesn't seem as interested anymore!
Q. Well, on New Year's Eve i slept with this guy, it was really unlike me but something made me do it. Then, since then he is all i can think about, at first, he was really nice, and i have stayed around his house a few times since then. However, now ...
A. 15 March 2006: Well whatever the merits of psychic insight i do think the advice to back away is not bad advice in general. Also I think you need to think about broadening the scope of what you do. Have you for example thought of asking him to the cinema or ... (read in full...)
Exams and other stresses are overwhelming me and my relationship is suffering!
Q. I need some help, I'm really low at the moment. I've got exams coming up and all I do is revise or work and when I'm not revising I just feel guilty for not doing it! I feel like I'm going crazy, I just wish I could relax like other people, who ...
A. 5 March 2006: I would say you feeling low is a direct result of you being worn down by everything.
Starting at the top you need to make an effort to sechedule in some relaxtion time for yourself. When you start feeling guilty you need to think about this: cr... (read in full...)
She posts her pic on MySpace!
Q. I have had a terrible problem with jealousy since I started dating. I'm 22 now, a senior in college. My first relationship ended horribly, about a year and a half ago, because I was so jealous. I am in a similar situation now. I am very much into ...
A. 4 March 2006: I have to disagree vigerously here. I have a profile on Blogit I would never delete because I am in a relationship; I have a whole website with pictures and personal details to promote my writing. Obviously dating/adult sites are a different matter ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend *only* has female friends!
Q. My new boyfriend and I have been going out for about a month. Our relationship is great but there is one problem (it's my problem). He ONLY has female friends, which bugs me. I am the jealous type-so I asked him why he hasnt dated any of them ...
A. 4 March 2006: I am speaking now as somebody who is very much like this guy. The vast majority of my friends are female and to be honest I much prefer the company of females in general. There are certain past/personality reasons for this. I have also wanted to ... (read in full...)
She posts her pic on MySpace!
Q. I have had a terrible problem with jealousy since I started dating. I'm 22 now, a senior in college. My first relationship ended horribly, about a year and a half ago, because I was so jealous. I am in a similar situation now. I am very much into ...
A. 4 March 2006: Well I agree largely with the above comment except I would add a caveat that flirting doesn't equate to actually doing something which seems to be your real concern here. Certain people are 'natural' flirts, if they are outgoing.
Having said tha... (read in full...)
I finished with her but now I want her back but she just wants to be friends!! What do I do??
Q. I finished with my girlfriend as I didn't feel as though she was there for me when I needed her. She has a lot on her plate, but I still expected her to be there for me I realised that maybe i acted hastily, but now she says that she cannot commit 1...
A. 4 March 2006: Well you almost answer your own question here basically.Yes, if you force her to make an all or nothing call she will most likely choose to end it forever. So, what should you do? Ipso facto you should just go along with being friends.
You n... (read in full...)
Are you born gay or do you "go gay"?
Q. Please help are you born gay, or do certain things in life or the way that you grow up determine your sexuality. Since childhood, I was not very boyish, or tough, more soft, timid, femine, as I got older and knew the ways of behaviour i bcame mor...
A. 3 March 2006: I dislike the idea that we are 'born' with certain personality traits, including sexual orientation intensely. I think it's possible to be born with genetic predispositions to be a certain way but I would generally say the rest is nurture. It is ... (read in full...)
Met this girl online but how will her parents and brother react?
Q. Hi. i have recently met someone. I met this person online, and at first i was just talking to her to kill time. As i got to know her, i had this feeling she was the one for me and i started to get these feelings i have never had before, and before i ...
A. 2 March 2006: It's possible you are right and she may want to use a 'back story' but on the other hand she wouldn't have asked you if it wasn't ok. Generally people are suspiscious of net meets especially if they don't use it much themselves.
Also it is alot ... (read in full...)
Does anyone know why my guy prefers text sex to the real thing?
Q. Help, my guy seems to want only text sex. I fell in love with him when we met back in September and he pleaded to meet again. I agreed to meet a week later but he cancelled at short notice, asking for another date. Eventually after stalling for 6 ...
A. 25 February 2006: Errr...you could do that or else you could try and work through this with him. Yes, it does sound like he has an intimacy problem. That would definatly explain why he prefers txt sex to actual sex and why he messes around so much when it comes to ... (read in full...)
Some thoughts on the 'porn' issue...the difference between fantasy and illusion.
Q. Everyone says that porn is for FANTASY, But the definition of fantasy is "a product of the imagination: ILLUSION" Which is where it should stay, in ones mind, not for their eyes. Fantasies are meant to be imagined not to actually be seen. If ...
A. 24 February 2006: There is a subtle difference between the literal meanings of fantasy and illusion. My views on porn are mixed; yes people use it when they are single and also within a relationship context for conveinience but that is a one-sided truth. Also, by ... (read in full...)
Together for a year but always had problems. Now i have found another guy...is breaking up the right thing to do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together just over a year. Latley i have began to develop feelings for another guy. my boyfriend and i have always had problems with our relationship, from his ex girlfriend, to the way we talk to each other. I want to ...
A. 24 February 2006: I would have to say yes. It seems to me that you don't feel that attached to him. I think that it is maybe telling that you mention negative aspects of the relationship. Before you do break up make sure in your own mind you are settled in what you ... (read in full...)
How can I recapture that love again?
Q. well i have my6 boyfriend for 4 yrs but the thing is rite now i just feel love less i dont seem to love him any more wat can i do the sex is even different wat can i do to capture that love again i know i love him but just not as deep as i would ...
A. 24 February 2006: Well I think the first thing might be to think back to what made your love so special in the first place and look for pointers there. Think about the things that make him special to you and make you special as a couple. Obviously there was a time ... (read in full...)
How long before we should get physical?
Q. This question is a bit like asking how long a piece of string is? How long is usual these days to make a man wait before kissing, cuddling, sex occurs? Been seeing a guy for 2 months. He is lovely but I get the feeling he is losing interest...
A. 24 February 2006: A piece of string is usually as long as you cut it and that is very much the case here. You do things and take the steps when you are ready and you take them together at a pace that suits you both. That is the answer here.
If you don't feel com... (read in full...)
I'm feeling suicidal...I can't imagine life without her. Please help
Q. Hi my girlfriend split up with me last week, on the friday. Basically because i fibbed to her twice about where i was staying when visiting my friend at uni, also because i went to see my best friend at uni 3 weekends in a row. I'd do anything in ...
A. 23 February 2006: Sorry wont let me do that. Was just an idea cause of the threads length but the system dont seem to like it. Anyways, ye as i said really..... (read in full...)
I'm feeling suicidal...I can't imagine life without her. Please help
Q. Hi my girlfriend split up with me last week, on the friday. Basically because i fibbed to her twice about where i was staying when visiting my friend at uni, also because i went to see my best friend at uni 3 weekends in a row. I'd do anything in ...
A. 23 February 2006: ...or maybe it doesnt lol....i will put my msn addy up on my profile for a bit and take it from there if you want.... (read in full...)
I'm feeling suicidal...I can't imagine life without her. Please help
Q. Hi my girlfriend split up with me last week, on the friday. Basically because i fibbed to her twice about where i was staying when visiting my friend at uni, also because i went to see my best friend at uni 3 weekends in a row. I'd do anything in ...
A. 23 February 2006: With regard to her friends, you have to bear in mind if shes confused shes going to be leaning on other people for their opinions alot. In a similar way to you being here posting. They may well be telling her to forget you and there is little you ... (read in full...)
WE are both seeing other people but I only want to date him
Q. A guy I'm seeing is seeing other people and I am also open to seeing other people, although I really just want to date this one. We've just been on a couple of dates. How many dates would you expect before the guy decides he just wants to see one ...
A. 23 February 2006: Did you agree that this was an open relationship from the start? Assuming that I think you may have to talk to this guy and tell him you want to start dating him exclusively for there to be any movement.
He may or may not be thinking the same thi... (read in full...)
I'm feeling suicidal...I can't imagine life without her. Please help
Q. Hi my girlfriend split up with me last week, on the friday. Basically because i fibbed to her twice about where i was staying when visiting my friend at uni, also because i went to see my best friend at uni 3 weekends in a row. I'd do anything in ...
A. 23 February 2006: Hmmmmmm I presume shes still on for tonight? She seems like an emotional ping-pong ball at the moment all over the place. I think this next suggestion is going to be hard for you to do and easy for me to say but it maybe for the best and ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling suicidal...I can't imagine life without her. Please help
Q. Hi my girlfriend split up with me last week, on the friday. Basically because i fibbed to her twice about where i was staying when visiting my friend at uni, also because i went to see my best friend at uni 3 weekends in a row. I'd do anything in ...
A. 22 February 2006: Be prepared for the worst but that doesn't mean that is what will happen.Sounds good just keep it nice and chilled and go with the flow. If she tries it on go with what you feel is right. Maybe you should sort things out before you go for anything ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling suicidal...I can't imagine life without her. Please help
Q. Hi my girlfriend split up with me last week, on the friday. Basically because i fibbed to her twice about where i was staying when visiting my friend at uni, also because i went to see my best friend at uni 3 weekends in a row. I'd do anything in ...
A. 22 February 2006: I doubt shes messin with your head just to get the money owed. It would be possible to get that without all that. I dont see any purpose to her messin with your emotions like this and to be blunt if she is she isnt the girl you think she is. What ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling suicidal...I can't imagine life without her. Please help
Q. Hi my girlfriend split up with me last week, on the friday. Basically because i fibbed to her twice about where i was staying when visiting my friend at uni, also because i went to see my best friend at uni 3 weekends in a row. I'd do anything in ...
A. 22 February 2006: It's good you can still talk like that - it is a good sign for the future. From what you are saying it seems like she didn't really want to end the relationship. If she is still going out with you and saying these things, and it seems to me she ... (read in full...)
Sex with "strings attached"? What does she mean?
Q. Me and my girlfriend will be at seven months on Friday. We have never had sex, but done a lot of fooling around. Now she has told me that she really wants to do it with me, and is planning on doing so very soon. Her biggest concern is that there wi...
A. 22 February 2006: I think you need to ask her but I am wondering if sex is a by-word for greater commitment here. Obviously it is the physical consumation of an already existing emotional bond.
Alot of significance is also on the first-time. It is a once in a lif... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable of me to ask my bf to get this other woman off his MSN contact list?
Q. Hi there, Been reading this board on and off for a few months now and it seems people qive good adivce so thought i'd air a few thoughts of my own about my relationship to see peoples views. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now an...
A. 22 February 2006: I agree with Irish mostly. You should talk to him about it but try not to accuse because the more you say the more it seems to me that it's likely there is nothing going on here to be concerend about and what we are dealing with, as you said ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable of me to ask my bf to get this other woman off his MSN contact list?
Q. Hi there, Been reading this board on and off for a few months now and it seems people qive good adivce so thought i'd air a few thoughts of my own about my relationship to see peoples views. I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now an...
A. 22 February 2006: Well, I agree that I sometimes call my female friends sexy but that is the point where my agreement with the other poster stops.
The main reason I think you are not being totally unreasonalbe is that he has clearly stated that he is not interest... (read in full...)
Shocked at the things my bf has seen and now I am curious!!
Q. Dear Cupid, I was talking to my boyfriend the other day and the subject of porn came up. I told him i have never been on it and he was really shocked! I always knew there was such a thing but when he told me the things that he'd seen i was shock...
A. 21 February 2006: This is one of those things that it is hard to answer in general because each person would have a slightly individual answer so prehaps you should bear that in mind.
1)It is mostly people having sex though there is often some, usually lame, st... (read in full...)
I'm feeling suicidal...I can't imagine life without her. Please help
Q. Hi my girlfriend split up with me last week, on the friday. Basically because i fibbed to her twice about where i was staying when visiting my friend at uni, also because i went to see my best friend at uni 3 weekends in a row. I'd do anything in ...
A. 21 February 2006: Ok,you need to take a deep breath here. You have lost a part of you in her but you have other aspects of your life that endure and are still there. Your friends, your family and crucially your unwritten future. It may look a little bleaker without ... (read in full...)
The problems with my bf were my fault and now I feel lost without him
Q. got problems with a lad who i really like and no one knows how bad it is killing me and i really need some advice it was my fault but i just want to be with him his love was a miraculous love that i now feel lost without...
A. 21 February 2006: Hiya. Sorry but I dont really feel able to say alot here without you being more specific.
What specifically are the problems you have with this lad? Have you been dating? Why and how did you cause these problems? Please get back and then hopefull... (read in full...)
Is it right to give up everything for love? He wants me to move to him...what should I do?
Q. Hey everyone. I need someones opinions. Is it the right thing to give up everything for love? I'm in a long term, 2yrs long distance relationship. I'm 23 self employed, have my own business for 3yrs, but still settling some debts, and I'm thi...
A. 21 February 2006: I think this is a tricky one. Love isnt about 'giving everything up', it should be about give and take but you are in a situation where the normal rules dont apply and you are right it is an either or and one of you does have to take the risk.
... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid or am I 'just' another girl to him?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been going out for 6 months now, and it has been the best six months of my life. He is the first person I have ever let close to me and I am truly in love with him, but I get so jealous all of the time. He does aswell. ...
A. 21 February 2006: I think the root cause maybe that there are alot of emotions tied into this girl for both of you considering it actually cause alot of upset when you two got together. Here is something you should prehaps dwell on though, he went through all that ... (read in full...)
My bf has been cruel..so I cheated on him. Now I feel horrible! Help
Q. Please help, I am a horrible person. My boyfriend has been quite cruel verbally/ mentaly for the past couple of months, but I love him dearly. But I went out and slept with one of my freinds. Its tearing me up inside. What should I do. I know I ...
A. 21 February 2006: I kind of agree with both posts here. You shouldn't except your boyfriends behaviour and you shouldn't torture yourself too much for what happenend. At the end of the day wanting to feel wanted and have somebody treat you right is not a sin. Your ... (read in full...)
I'm mixed up with a violent guy who thinks we're together and who doesn't know I'm already with someone!
Q. I have got myself in a mess. I'm 18, and have been with my boyfriend 2 years but I don't love him. He's not my type of lad. But he's so caring and loves me so much. I have cheated throughout the relationship, and now things have got worse. I finish...
A. 20 February 2006: This is tricky for sure. Looking at this from the outside I don't see how you can avoid somebody getting hurt to be honest, you may well in a situation where the best you can do is damage limitation to be honest. Sorry.
I wonder if part of you l... (read in full...)
If he'd said something, I'd have given him his space and we'd still be together...
Q. Me and my partner had a big argument reently. I had had enough of the small meaningless arguments that aways ended up with ''talking'' about it, hence why this argument was the worst of all. The argument started then me and him, and his housemat...
A. 20 February 2006: First things first, you do need to stop blaming yourself here. Yes it is only natural that people do want space outside the relationship on the other hand that is no excuse for inviting you somewhere and blanking you. If he had wanted the night to ... (read in full...)
I feel so insecure and like nobody. How can I stop feeling this way?
Q. I have been in my relationship with my boyfriend for two years. I feel so insecure when I am with him and I hate feeling this way. I would llke it if you could help me stop being this way. It makes me feel like I'm nobody....
A. 20 February 2006: I think that I would need to know a little more about why you feel this way before I can comment properly. Has it always been this way or is it a recent development. Has something happened to make you feel this way? Do you feel unloved and ... (read in full...)
| *azzerg's friends
These are mutual friends, so *azzerg has
added them and they have added *azzerg!
|
