| Latest articles: Just Two
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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How do I tell what he's thinking?
Q. I know this Brit guy from Tinder. We like each other so after a week or so we got together - as in couple. His job requires him to fly across countries. We can only see each other one week every month so most of the time we have to we communicate ...
A. 16 August 2016: Are you sure you're 26-29 years old? Because honestly you sound 16. What is this deal about "Brit guys" that you keep talking about? What makes you think that British guys are any different from regular guys? A man is a man is a man...whether in ... (read in full...)
We slept together and now he's gone silent, advice?
Q. I was wondering if any of you could give me some advice on my situation. To start things off I've never been in a Relationship due to the fact I've never been interested and preferred to focus on school, work and enjoying my time with my friends....
A. 13 August 2016: If I were you, I'd just call him and ask him straight away. Not in an accusatory tone but just to know what was going on and why he hasn't been in touch with you. If he doesn't want to be with you, if he thought the sex was bad or if he was just ... (read in full...)
Why can't our married friend break up with his mistress?
Q. Can anyone tell me why a married man keeps hanging onto his mistress for many years? She is high maintenance, is not always nice to him, is a drain on him physically and emotionally and causes him headaches and complications in his life. And ye...
A. 12 August 2016: For the same reason that people are addicted to alcohol or drugs. They know it's a bad thing, it's going to harm them terribly, they see their relationships getting destroyed, their partners and children unhappy... And yet they do it. Why? Because ... (read in full...)
What can you do when you feel like you are losing "the one"?
Q. A girl that I've been in a very odd situation with for the past 1.5 years has just told me that she doesn't feel like it's a good idea to see each other anymore because the situation is basically never going to materialise into a relationship. ...
A. 10 August 2016: There's nothing much that you can do. She doesn't want to be with you. Sadly, that's life. Sometimes things just don't work out but remember, whatever happens is for the best. Move on graciously.
Never ever beg to be with someone, never chase th... (read in full...)
He earns 8 times what I earn. Is it fair that I contribute 50 . 50 for all dating costs
Q. I've been dating a guy for about 6 months, he earns very good money (about 8 times what I do), should meals out/ trips away be split 50 / 50 , or should he be expected to pay more as he is the higher earner and had a lot more disposable cash than me ...
A. 10 August 2016: You shouldn't feel a sense of entitlement just because you're dating someone rich. When you go on dates, go to places that you can afford and if he suggests someplace beyond you're reach, just tell him that you can't afford it. It's not fair if he ... (read in full...)
I want to know when I will stop bloody crying and feeling so low!
Q. Dear aunts I won't make this too long. I discovered my husband is cheating online with some whore. His behaviour was suspicious as in him turning iPad away from me when I walked Into room. Got Into his iPad which was locked but had managed to see h...
A. 9 August 2016: It will get better. It has to. Trust me. There will be a time when you wake up in the morning and you realise that that aching pain in your heart is no longer there. Little by little you will realise that you are able to go through the day without ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm not turning him on enough, and it's wrecking my confidence!
Q. Hi ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years and recently what ive noticed is that everytime before we have intercourse he gets himself hard instead of asking me to do it. He knows 100% all he has to do is say or just hint then im there but when i ...
A. 6 August 2016: Your boyfriend sounds like an idiot. Not because he doesn't need you to get an erection but because he's making your feel awful about it but calling you senile. If it were me, I'd be more worried about this than the erection problem.... (read in full...)
His ex girlfriend wants him back!
Q. I have been best friends with this guy Jimmy for 5 years,ever since we attended Marquette together. We just recently started sleeping together about 6 months ago because we were both lonely, and we agreed that we would never turn it into a relati...
A. 4 August 2016: Jimmy is just your FWB and to be honest, you're going way overboard about this whole thing. You agreed you didn't want a relationship. Why then does it bother you so much what he does? FWB means no strings attached sex and no questions asked. He's ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to not like my boyfriend's very intrusive room mate?
Q. Did I overreact? My fiancé and I have seperate places. He has an apartment with roommates as do I. One of his roommates rubs me the wrong way. She's a girl. One time he invited me over to cook me dinner for a date indoors. As he was preparing our ...
A. 4 August 2016: Can't really add to anything to what most of the aunts have said.
Just ignore her and it's good that you're boyfriend has taken a stand in this situation. Moreover, he's moving out soon so you won't be seeing anymore of her. If you ask me, she ... (read in full...)
Do I give him a chance or end it before I get hurt?
Q. No judgement please . I got chatting to a guy on online dating site ill call him A . we met and stayed in touch we took ourselves off the site. We decided to take it really slow so theres no pressure. i know his dad had a bad accident he needs to be ...
A. 2 August 2016: Maybe dating is there last thing on his mind right now. I think you should forget about this guy and move on.
He seems really caught up in his personal life, what with his dad's illness and everything, and obviously he hasn't given you that pla... (read in full...)
Is she just an attention seeker? A flirt? Where so I draw the line with her?
Q. Where do you draw the line when you're a very flirty person and like the attention? What I mean is my work colleague is a very flirty person, the touchy feeling type. But where do you draw the line without making the person your flirting with g...
A. 2 August 2016: So you basically misled us with your question and made us write volumes on something that doesn't even hold true. Good.
What I don't understand is, what advice do you want? You made it look like she's after you with her heart and soul and now you ... (read in full...)
Should I go back to my high maintenance friends? or should I learn to appreciate non materialistic things?
Q. I have this need to go out all the time for the last three years I have gone out from Thursday - Sunday (yes as ashamed looking back at it partying) while have a corporate job. It was non stop glitz and glamour waisting a 100 dollars a night on...
A. 1 August 2016: I have a cousin who sounds a lot like you. Deep down, she's terribly insecure, she isn't attached at her parents and just puts up a show that she is only for the benefit on Facebook, she's been wanting get married ever since she was 21-22 and she's ... (read in full...)
Is she just an attention seeker? A flirt? Where so I draw the line with her?
Q. Where do you draw the line when you're a very flirty person and like the attention? What I mean is my work colleague is a very flirty person, the touchy feeling type. But where do you draw the line without making the person your flirting with g...
A. 1 August 2016: I completely agree with YouWish. This isn't flirting, this is full blown sexual harassment. You really need to let your boss know and then deal with this girl accordingly. Be very careful so that she doesn't turn the tables on you. She's just one ... (read in full...)
Does he want a relationship or does he just want to fool around?
Q. Been on 2 dates with this guy. Date one: we went to the cinema. He didn't wait long into the movie before he made a move and kissed me. After the film, we took a small walk to a roof garden. He kissed me a lot there. Then he messaged me after th...
A. 31 July 2016: My vote is in favor of fooling around.
That's pretty much what what your dates were. You even landed up at his place on the very second date and you guys made out. This is when you should be getting to know each other better.
Doesn't seem ... (read in full...)
Social media signs are worrying me
Q. I'm friends with a female at work and was on Facebook, but she deleted me from her list of friends due to a misunderstanding, which has since been sorted out. She said she would put me back on her list of friends on Facebook but nothing has ...
A. 31 July 2016: Wow you really can't take a hint, can you? WE made it amply clear to you in all your previous questions that she's not interested, SHE made out crystal clear to you that she's not interested... And you're still fixating on her? You could be in for a ... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 31 July 2016: You're still wanting to be with this man? 30+ answers to this question and not one person has said that it's a good idea. Anyway, we warned you. All the best OP.... (read in full...)
Best ways for getting over someone?
Q. Best ways for getting over someone ? Been speaking to a girl for quite a while but a relationship isn't feasible for us. We both get on great but the past few times I've asked to hang out she's blown me off and has always been busy, the last t...
A. 29 July 2016: Sounds like you're her back-up guy, the person she turns to when she had no one else to go to or has nothing better to do. Would you rather be an option in someone's life and not the person they really want to be with? Of course not, and there's ... (read in full...)
Is this a compliment "I chose you" ???
Q. No problem just a question. If your husband/wife, partner lover whatever tells you "I CHOSE YOU" how do you receive it, as a compliment or an insult? We had the same question asked on facebook but most see it as a compliment. I don't! What's yo...
A. 29 July 2016: I get what you mean-it sounds a bit condescending, that I could have chosen anyone but I've done you a favor by choosing you.
However, it's meant to be a compliment ... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 29 July 2016: You still say you'll "try"? Despite whatever this guy's told you and the fact that he's lazy, condescending, rude, misbehaves with your children, acts entitled, is piling on you with an equally lazy daughter and doesn't contribute a single penny?
... (read in full...)
Is his attitude cause for concern?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months or so now and having some doubts about our future together. I currently am stuck renting accommodation with very little money to save each month but my boyfriend owns his own place. We recently had a c...
A. 29 July 2016: I'm with your boyfriend on this one. If you haven't made right financial decisions then it's up to you to face the consequences. You shouldn't feel entitled to moving in with him
1.just because you live in a crappy place 2.because he had his own ... (read in full...)
Our relationship is falling apart ever since I lost the baby
Q. Hello all, I am looking for some non judgemental relationship advice. I am 16 my boyfriends 17. We've been together 9 months. 3 months ago I found out I was pregnant. It was a total accident I was actually on birth control at the time (before anyone ...
A. 28 July 2016: Sweetie no one's going to say that losing your baby was a good thing; there can be nothing possibly more painful than losing your own child. However, the truth if that you really are far too young to be having a baby and while there's no doubt you ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my son's safety while at his father's family homes
Q. Im a 26 year old single mother of a 8 month old beautiful baby boy. I have never been married. The father of my child and i have recently broken up which offically ended the relationship. I have a few concerns about coustaty. Mt sons father is c...
A. 27 July 2016: Didn't you know about this guy's illustrious family before you decided to get pregnant? Even if you were together with him, they'd still be a part of your child's life, maybe even more then.
There's not much you can do other than consult a lawyer... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has many female friends and I am jealous!
Q. I am extremely jealous when it comes to my boyfriend that it scares me! We don't live together but, I end up stalking him on social media. Seeing if he is liking other girls pictures on Instagram etc. He's French so, I end up translating every ...
A. 25 July 2016: You're overreacting way too much. Forgive me, but I don't really accept the logic that if you've been hurt badly in a previous relationship, you carry it on to the next one. This is why you're supposed to take time to heal. You knew what you were ... (read in full...)
Men's opinons needed on this man's behavior
Q. If a Shy guy who has a crush on me asks me why don't I come to buy my meals when he is working at the cashier desk of a coffee shop of our company. He then nervously changed the topic even before i could say something. Even when he was asking me the ...
A. 24 July 2016: Aren't you the one who's asked all these questions?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-shy-was-he-hinting-towards-going-out.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-close-friends-are-saying-he-doesnt-like.html
http://www.dearcupid.... (read in full...)
Has his interest in me lessened? Or has he just become used to dating me?
Q. Hi everyone, Just need some dating advice please. (Backstory) I have been seeing a guy for about 2 months.. Everything was going well, he texted me daily and we go on a date usually every Friday night. So after 2 months we had sex and everything w...
A. 24 July 2016: Does he talk to you over the phone every day? If he does then you have nothing to worry about because some people are just not that into texting and prefer taking. If he doesn't talk to you daily then it definitely looks like his interest is fading. ... (read in full...)
Cheating. How do I respond to this? I really loved this girl, and was going to propose to her
Q. Well me and my gf are both 26 years old and have been with each other for the past 4 years. Met her in my last year of College and have been with her since. We started living together about 3 months of getting together and everything was lovely, ...
A. 23 July 2016: I think you might be jumping the gun a bit here. Have you really spoken to your girlfriend about this? You're just assuming things and it's not in good taste to involve your neighbor in all this. You're exposing yourself and your girlfriend to ... (read in full...)
Is this girl suitable as a LTR girl for me?
Q. We've known each other for two years and we've been starting something (seeing eachothers and sleeping together) for four months. I like her really. I liked her as a person also before, when we were just friends, and she has always captured my ...
A. 22 July 2016: Oh so you can do it but she can't? Come on Nirk, grow up. To hell with the "locals", remember, you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't, so you can't please everyone anyway. And why should you? Do you have to spend the rest of your ... (read in full...)
How can I find someone else at my age? Why is she ripping my family apart ?
Q. I think my husband of 12 years is having an affair. Myself and my hubby are in the same job but work at different locations. One of our colleagues told me she was concerned about how much help and time he was spending with a client. Anytime s...
A. 20 July 2016: It's normal to want to blame the other woman, the stranger, but the truth is, she didn't betray you. Your husband did. She isn't the one ripping your family apart, she isn't the one who took marital vows with you and she isn't the one who built a ... (read in full...)
Recently found out about a fling my Bf had. Is it wrong to want to know these things?
Q. I recently found out my boyfriend had a fling with a girl on holiday not long after we started going out. We had been together for a couple of months, and we were still in the early stages of our relationship. We have been together for 3 y...
A. 20 July 2016: OP I understand the need to want to know things but believe me, it won't make things any better for you. If anything, it'll just make things 10000 times worse. Like for instance, you're crossing the road and there's been a terrible accident there ... (read in full...)
Were his family opposed to me? Or did he just want me for one thing? We broke up but he said we could still be FWB.
Q. Hi, I met this guy nearly 2 years ago, we were really good friends. He then became flirty with me and I had an attraction to him, but then he said we could just be fwb I guess I couldn't go through with this idea and we agreed to continue being fr...
A. 19 July 2016: Don't waste your time on this guy, he's made his preferences pretty clear. He can't stand for you, cannot stand by you. Is this the kind of person you see yourself spending your life with? Even if his family was opposed to you, he could have fought ... (read in full...)
What to do? He says if I don't work out with both of them then he wants a divorce
Q. My husband had an affair, after I found out and got past the initial shock, I approached his mistress. Asked her to have a threesome. We did, it went well. It didn't take any of the pain away that I am feeling, like I guess I hoped it would. ...
A. 15 July 2016: Please tell me this is a troll!
How could you possibly agree to have a threesome with your husband's mistress? Have you lost your mind? When people find out about their partner's affair, they either leave or try to mend their relation... (read in full...)
How can I stop looking for revenge? Is it a case of "what goes around comes around" ?
Q. How can I stop looking for revenge? I just recently got dumped by my ex of 6 months via text - my stuff all is still is at his house . This was two months ago and since being hurt the stage has moved on to anger and waves of depression. I have ta...
A. 15 July 2016: I remember your previous post. Isn't this you?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/dating-and-now-a-breakup-with-him-how.html
Sweetie you should be thankful that this idiot's out of your life. Would you rather be with someone just so that you... (read in full...)
Have my feelings changed towards my married lover?
Q. I've been with my married lover for a few years. He has gone on vacation with his wife several times over the course of our affair, leaving me behind. I know it's an affair and nobody approves. But I am not here for that part of it. I am just tr...
A. 11 July 2016: Thank your stars that good sense has finally prevailed over you and that you're getting the strength to live and function without your married lover.
I hope you know there is nothing in this relationship for you, right? His wife gets everythi... (read in full...)
How should I explain this strange relationship?
Q. Dear All Just wanted a quick question answered if you have the time! My husband years ago brought up his ex's son (husbands stepson) called Oliver. Oliver was/is a good kid but full of negativity and a bad attitude, but as I said, a kind ...
A. 11 July 2016: Don't worry about this now; your pregnancy is of utmost importance and just focus on yourself and on having a healthy baby. It'll be years before the baby asks you about Oliver and as you say, he's going to be an infrequent visitor anyway. Have you ... (read in full...)
He called me nasty names. No apology. We broke up. What should I do, in the circumstances?
Q. Hi there everybody I recently had the biggest argument with my now ex boyfriend. It all started because it took him 7 hours to reply to my text Anyway after 2 days of arguing over text he tells me I'm a heartless gutless liar. I did not e...
A. 9 July 2016: Just saw your follow up and it's one of those rare instances where I take back my answer. Your follow up changes a lot of things and puts things in a whole new perspective.
You referred to someone in an offensive and derogatory manner and he said ... (read in full...)
Lies are taking me to the edge
Q. I've been a single mother to my 6 year old since she was 3 months old. Her dad walked out on us, and even though I tried to get him to see her, he pretended like she didn't exist. We were both 18 when she was born, and we had been together for ...
A. 9 July 2016: Your sound like a really nice person OP and I'm sure you make a very good mother. You've put up with a lot of nonsense over the years but you've handled it with dignity. Please continue doing that because your daughter needs a positive influence in ... (read in full...)
He called me nasty names. No apology. We broke up. What should I do, in the circumstances?
Q. Hi there everybody I recently had the biggest argument with my now ex boyfriend. It all started because it took him 7 hours to reply to my text Anyway after 2 days of arguing over text he tells me I'm a heartless gutless liar. I did not e...
A. 9 July 2016: You don't do anything. You just block him from your life and don't give him a single second more of your time and you finally feel happy with your decision to kick him to the curb because this is what you should have done a long, long time ago. How ... (read in full...)
What should I tell my ex'?
Q. My ex boyfriend got in touch. What should I do? He sent me a message on Facebook last night. I received it this morning. He asked how I was. I told him I was doing ok and that my flat is nice. Last time we spoke, which was last October, I had only ...
A. 8 July 2016: He basically invited himself over to your place. So the question now is, do you want to meet him? If it's a no, then just tell him that you're busy. If you do want to meet him, there are a lot of variables the picture. Do you have a boyfriend? Are ... (read in full...)
I'm just confused? Is he either low key in love with me or obsessed or just crazy? What to do?
Q. I don't want to make this too long. Basically, I dated this dude, it was long distance. Blah blah. Let's call him “C” . C” and I dated from like, November 2014 till March 2015. We were basically the perfect couple and I couldn't go a minute, let...
A. 4 July 2016: OP its time you get over being "sensitive" as you call it. You need a good hard dose of reality.
This guy isn't in love with you.
He is certainly not addicted to you or obsessed with you.
He's not crazy.
He's just playing you because... (read in full...)
How can I talk to him about these issues? He expects my sons to contribute via chores but does nor expect his teen daughter to do anything
Q. I'm Engaged!!!!!!!!. I should be excited right? I'm more worried than anything. We have dated a little over a year and are planning to get married May 2017. We both have children from a previous marriage. He has two daughters (21 and !7), I have ...
A. 3 July 2016: I've been following this post and thought I should add my two cents here. I'll get straight to the point.
Your boyfriend is a male chauvinist. He suffers from a complex and he knows and realizes his inadequacies and that's exactly why he's bos... (read in full...)
Should I meet up with my ex boyfriend ? He still has his girlfriend and I broke up with my boyfriend, but he doesn't know that
Q. Hey aunts! I need advice So I have an ex boyfriend who broke my heart. The relationship was amazing but due to him losing his job, he had to move right away. He said he didn't want to lose me and how he would always want to be with me but we...
A. 2 July 2016: In my belief, an ex is an ex for a reason and you should keep it at that. No good ever comes out of scratching old wounds and you'll just be hurting yourself all over again.
He has a girlfriend and it'll still be long-distance so exactly start do... (read in full...)
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