| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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Why do some men say things to their partner the man thinks may sound supportive, and yet concurrently they collect pictures of women and porn?
Q. I know this might seem a dumb question but it's bothered me in a lot of relationships I've been in as I've noticed most guys seem to do it and think it's no big deal to lie about it . Why do some men say things to their partner like 'you're the only...
A. 25 December 2016: This could be a huge essay on why people lie but let's keep it simple.
People lie (in relationships):
because they can,
because it's the easy way out,
because it gets them out of trouble, because it helps them get laid,
because it helps to p... (read in full...)
I just found his sex doll, I’m upset! What do I do?
Q. I just found my boyfriend of 4 yrs silicone sex doll. I haven't had a chance to talk yo him about it bc his mom has been in the hospital but is now coming home. I can't hold it in much longer. I'm upset what do I do?...
A. 24 December 2016: Why are you upset? It's not like he's having an affair or has another girlfriend! It's a sex toy... Like a vibrator for women!
How long have you been with the guy? Maybe he used it before he met you... (read in full...)
Does sending me picture of her stomach tattoo with the bottom of her breasts just visible mean she’s flirting with me?
Q. So I have a friend and we live far apart but we text a lot. I don't know her super well yet but I am getting to know her, I enjoy her company on the phone and she is kind of cute. We often send each other photos of our day to day life. We got onto ...
A. 23 December 2016: Nope, not normal. She's flirting and not in a subtle way. Women don't really go around showing pics of their stomach and underboobs unless they're desperate for attention. And she was "about to have a bath" so she decided to show it? Why mention ... (read in full...)
How could she have a three year sexual affair with this guy, and still have sex with me??
Q. I recently discovered that my wife has been having a sexual affair with a single friend of ours for the past three years, usually when I was at work.... he is single and has had girlfriends in this three year period..She knew this because he came ...
A. 22 December 2016: Your wife's behavior reflects exactly what cheaters in a marriage do. They don't intend leaving their spouse so they continue doing what's expected of them in their marital relationship while also having a good time outside. This is why she was ... (read in full...)
How can I prevent my Aunty from showing me up in front of my boyfriend on Christmas Day? Title
Q. I've been with my partner for 6 years, and this will be the first time we are spending Christmas with my family. Though my boyfriend has met the rest of my family, this will be the first time he's meeting my aunty. She's actually a really nice pe...
A. 21 December 2016: When I read your post and tried putting myself in your situation, my first instinct was that of anger. But then I thought, why not take a different approach? Why not just laugh at the pics yourself if she does show them and make fun of the ... (read in full...)
I love her but don't know to what extent I love her
Q. I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...
A. 20 December 2016: I think Danielepew nailed it. People who are truly in love don't stop and think if they want to marry that person; they just do.
My husband knew that he wanted to marry me within a week of meeting me and he tells me that he never had a doubt. T... (read in full...)
Crippling retroactive jealousy - does it get better?
Q. My battle with retroactive jealousy: - It's been almost 2.5 years. Improvements: - It is getting better. I can function normally in last one year. - Hearth shattering instant images no longer pops up. - It is getting less visual. - I kinda g...
A. 17 December 2016: Does it get better? Honestly, no. I don't think that in your case it will get better because you have allowed RJ to have too strong a grip on you and are suffering severely as a result of it.
You're giving yourself too much importance by thinking... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend had an abortion then said I wasnt there for her when she needed me. She now won't talk to me
Q. She had a miscarriage .She was bleeding for 20 days,both of us are not ready for a baby.Its a long distance relationship..so she went to the doctor alone..There was big tissue in her uterus..Doctor gave her some abortion pills..after severe pain for ...
A. 14 December 2016: I wish there was a way we here could make this guy pay like hell. This is either a troll or a complete moron who can't even string a sentence correctly and doesn't understand our even try to understand any logic.
Dude no one is misunder... (read in full...)
LDR girlfriend had an abortion then said I wasnt there for her when she needed me. She now won't talk to me
Q. She had a miscarriage .She was bleeding for 20 days,both of us are not ready for a baby.Its a long distance relationship..so she went to the doctor alone..There was big tissue in her uterus..Doctor gave her some abortion pills..after severe pain for ...
A. 12 December 2016: Are you for real? You think she's playing mind games with you after you royally fucked up her life? Do you really not see what you put her through? And do you also realize that if she takes a drastic step in a moment of desperation them you would be ... (read in full...)
How can a single mom find a boyfriend?
Q. Im pretty active, I go to school and work 24 hours a week. I have a beautiful 16 month old son. The dad and me are still ok but he lives 4 hours away. It seems like the only guys I can attract now are guys who already have kids, have been in trouble ...
A. 12 December 2016: Just about everything that you've written seems to be problematic.
You have a 16 month old son and you're looking at dating when right now your priority should be the child. Where would you even get the time for dating?
You then go on to sa... (read in full...)
Is he a once in a lifetime find??
Q. Okay so I need some opinions. I was in an extremely verbally and emotionally abusive relationship ( he was the abuser) with my ex husband of almost 7 years. I finally realized what was happening and that he could not change so in July we made the...
A. 9 December 2016: He sounds perfect but I'll still say, give time for the relationship to mature. Meanwhile, as hard as it might be, try not to let your past overshadow your future. Don't make J pay for the fact that you had a bad marriage and are still insecure. If ... (read in full...)
How can I keep safe on New Year's Eve when I will be alone?
Q. I am going to the heart of my city to see theater show on NYE, am catching a bus due to traffic.. is this safe as a single woman alone.? I am alone caching a bus home after the show at 10.30-11pm, before midnights events/fireworks etc.. there will...
A. 9 December 2016: I wouldn't go... Because it's not worth the risks that it entails. You're hoping that the bus "maybe" full. What if it isn't?
It's perfectly fine to be alone and New Year's Eve is just another day; I dont even see what all the hype about it is. ... (read in full...)
Is this how relationships are meant to be now
Q. Wanted to message in as its been so long since I have dated or looked into starting a new relationship that im just so unsure if things im not feeling so happy about, could be in fact be me with my ways and that I will have to look at changing. I...
A. 7 December 2016: He definitely seems keen on sex and is pushing for it while you are very rigid about boundaries and rightly so. It's way too early to be sleeping over and sleeping together.
If he genuinely likes you then he'll respect your boundaries and will... (read in full...)
How do I take back a stupid lie I told to my boyfriend?
Q. Hi, Let me start with saying I have been extremely stupid. I started dating my current boyfriend 1.5 years back, and wanted very badly to impress him. Unfortunately I had told him sometime back (before we started dating) that I had 2 boyfrien...
A. 7 December 2016: "Oh, what a tangled web we weave. When we first practice to deceive!"
What on earth were you thinking when you made up this ridiculous story OP? Please tell him the truth immediately and hope against hope that he believes you. He obviousl... (read in full...)
Exactly what is it he is asking, when he asks, "what do you want?"
Q. I really really really like this guy. We've been seeing each other and talking and everything is wonderful. He asked me what I want a few times. In fact he said he wants me to think of what is it I want in the next few weeks..And I have no idea what ...
A. 5 December 2016: Maybe he's asking you if you want sex?... (read in full...)
How do I get over this rough patch?
Q. I feel so down today. I had no one to share it with so I came on here. I guess it's just a couple of things that have got to me. I have been working full time for a year, and this December within 3 days my whole months salary has gone leaving me ...
A. 4 December 2016: While it's understandable to help your mom out, it's certainly not acceptable to keep sending money to your girlfriend.
You say she's an amazing person and she doesn't ask you for money unless it's Christmas. My point is though, why should s... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has become very self centred
Q. I'm 25 years old and I work in ems/fire. I've been having troubles with my girlfriend recently. I feel like she is becoming very controlling due to the fact she doesn't even live with me but yet gets mad when I have friends over or my dad and brot...
A. 4 December 2016: She's completely taken you for granted and thinks that she can rule over you whichever way she wants because you're putting up with her nonsense without any protests.
While your gesture to make her feel good with the rose petals and the candles ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me but I still have feelings for him
Q. Hello, I was seeing this guy who was very much into me since a month now. He used to tell me how much he loves me and how much he would want to work on our relationship. As I had exams, he told me that he would wait for me even if it means not tal...
A. 30 November 2016: You don't do anything. Never ever run after someone who doesn't want you in their life. You have more self respect than that. Just accept what he's said and move ahead with dignity.
It's normal to be shocked and confused but then again he'd sta... (read in full...)
My girlfriend made a online dating profile and when I confronted her she lied. Where to now, with this relationship??
Q. So I found out my girlfriend had made a online dating profile and when I confronted her she lied straight to my face about it and after a little while she finally admitted she made it. When I asked her why she made it she told me she was bored an...
A. 30 November 2016: You didn't push her to the point of no return; she did it to herself. If anything, you've been too good with her and you sound like a nice person who's willing to put the child first. That's a good guy.
Right now, you need to sit and talk about yo... (read in full...)
Is she in the wrong more than me?
Q. I have been with C----- for 2 years, engaged for 5 month. Pretty solid relationship, love her to pieces but our communication is off, she yells at/threatens me to get her point across and I just plain ignore her to spite her. This situation is a ...
A. 29 November 2016: What is wrong with you? Are you for real? You had no business meddling in their family's affairs and it's also none of your business where and how they spend their money and whether or not her brother is pampered. You might not like it but that's ... (read in full...)
I'm 16, girlfriend is 14 ... I am thinking of breaking up because we cant find anywhere private!
Q. Am a 16 year old teenager in High School. Am currently a junior dating my 14 year old freshman girlfriend. We've been together 2 months and its been working out. Me and her have kissed before a couple of times, but never making out. The reason being ...
A. 29 November 2016: If making out is up there in your list of priorities then it's best that you break up. Let's be honest here, there's no way this is going to last. Your biggest problem in life right now is not having a place where you can make out. Obviously one ... (read in full...)
Is it a bad idea to hook up with a single mother?
Q. Recently I broke up with my girlfriend and now I'm single. I know it's too early to hang out with other women but there is this girl she's 09/10 rating hot brunette, younger, she used to be my coworker but she got pregnant, got married and now she's ...
A. 27 November 2016: Wow you're a keeper! Any woman would be lucky to have you! It's difficult to find such amazing people and maybe she wouldn't be able to find someone quite as good as you once you leave her so do her a favor and keep away from her.
It's bloody u... (read in full...)
Do I wait for him to come round? Or do I let go?
Q. Could do with some insight here into my situation. I call it a situation because it is not nor never has been a relationship. and my female friends and male friends are offering conflicting advice. so I really am lost. I have a long-term friend...
A. 27 November 2016: This is a no brainer! Let it go and treat him like you would a closed chapter.
I fail to understand people who play these games... One moment he said he likes you then the next moment he changes his mind. This reminds me of schoolyard romances... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to give another man oral sex.I am not happy with this!
Q. My boyfriend has been pressuring me into blowing another guy and I feel completely uncomfortable with the idea, I have told him this everytime he's asked and now he brings it up in the middle of sex or while he's dirty talking, I told him I'd ...
A. 26 November 2016: What what what!! OMG this is just atrocious! No, men do not EVER want their girlfriends to give other men head, unless they are sick perverts with no moral compass whatsoever.
Please please please dont do this. He is pressurizing you into doing so... (read in full...)
I've planned a very elaborate threesome with my bf and another girl, but could still do with some advice..
Q. Hi all. The live-in boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We are very solid, trust each other completely, with little to no jealousy whatsoever, and we have a great sex life. So after about 6 months of discussion, we've finally decided to ...
A. 26 November 2016: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/threesome-gone-wrong-and-i-feel-so-cheated.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/threesome-gone-terribly-wrongmy-husband-is-in-love.html
http://www.de... (read in full...)
My friend has blown hot and cold for three years. What is going through her mind?
Q. This happened a while back. In fact, it's kind of been something that's happened over the years. At the age of 18 I had a part time job at a restaurant and was acquainted with a girl there my age. I wasn't at all attracted to her but she seemed very ...
A. 24 November 2016: She wasn't blowing hot and cold. She was making it very clear to you that she was interested and alcohol gave her the courage to say it out loud and shed her inhibitions. She knew exactly what she was saying and doing but when she saw that you ... (read in full...)
Engaged for three years but I can't bring myself to marry him
Q. I am trying to understand and realizing what happen in my relationship. Ive been with my fiance for 6 years and soon to be marry. If i accept his proposal 3 years ago maybe now we have our own family which i wish for. The reason why i still dont...
A. 11 November 2016: I don't really see any major problems from what you say apart from the fact that you both seem to like different things. You, for instance, like going to the mall on a Saturday night and while he obliges, its not something that he enjoys. You also ... (read in full...)
I broke off a 3 year affair and all he said was ok
Q. Hi, I've been seeing a married man(ex), for 3 years now. I finally got the guts to say "I can't do this anymore, I need more". It was really hard to say this to him since I still love him. He just said to me "ok". nothing else. not why, are you ...
A. 10 November 2016: He's not going to change his mind. Either he's just not that into you or, he thinks that it's just a tactic of yours to gain his attention; you'll come right back to him like you always have. If he really believes that you've broken with him and ... (read in full...)
Not invited to boyfriends childrens events
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years the last year living together. He has been divorced for 16 years his children are now 19 and 18 . As of yet I am not included in any of there events graduations football games bday dinners.. He has a ...
A. 8 November 2016: If you look at things from the children's perspective, maybe they just don't want to accept that their father has someone else in his life. Even if he does, they'd rather not know her. That is their choice and you cannot force them to change it.
... (read in full...)
I have a girlfriend but there is sexual tension with a friend. What should I do?
Q. I'm currently in a happy relationship of almost two years, I love my girlfriend and we rarely argue but over the last month or two I've started to get feelings for my best friend. We briefly had a thing about 4 years ago but nothing came of it and ...
A. 7 November 2016: This is exactly the reason why we see posts here from disgruntled female "friends" who's male friends cut them out of their lives. I can't imagine which girl would be comfortable having her boyfriend being close to another girl. While some might be ... (read in full...)
I want to know what is going on in this teacher's mind!
Q. This is a bit long. Thank you for paying attention to my question. Now, I shall inform you about the main person of the problem. It's a male teacher, he teaches us Chemistry at school. He is forty seven years old, and has a daughter. His da...
A. 5 November 2016: There is absolutely nothing going on in his mind. He's nice to you because of your problems and he sympathizes with you. He's extra nice because he knows that you don't have friends and he doesn't want you to feel any different because of your ... (read in full...)
My landlady still hasn't given me a lease to sign but is charging me extra rent for each time my boyfriend stays over. How do I handle this?
Q. Hey guys. Never been in this situation before and could really use a second opinion or two. I moved into a houseshare with a live-in landlady at the beginning of last month. I started off renting a single room, for which my landlady had sti...
A. 5 November 2016: Your landlady made it clear to you that there would be guests allowed overnight and if your boyfriend were to visit you then you have to pay the £10 extra. I think she was pretty clear and this leaves no room for any confusion.
If you think sh... (read in full...)
My best male friend chose a g/f over me and 6 years later I found out he married her. How do I get over the hurt?
Q. So I was best friends with a guy who I had known all my life right up until we were 18. Even though we didn't see each other anymore, I still messaged him all the time and I still considered him my best friend. But he then got a girlfriend, who made ...
A. 4 November 2016: This seems to be a common complaint of women who have male friends, who go on to dump them for their partners.
Look, the common consensus would be that he's an ass, he doesn't deserve you, you shouldn't want him back. My point however is, why do y... (read in full...)
Three boys to choose from!
Q. Hello im a freshman in high school and I am having some problems with 3 guys... I know it seems like a lot but I really need help because it is taking over my head every single day. (Ill use Boy A, B, and C for their names). Boy A is a sophomore...
A. 3 November 2016: You're 13 years old. Focus on studies. There'll be plenty of time for boys later on. ... (read in full...)
How do I move on from these feelings I have for my brother in law?
Q. Hey, I'm 20 years old and have a sister that is nine years older than me. We both have the same mother but different father's. We didn't really grow up together because my mother had her so young so essentially she was raised by my grandma. We've ...
A. 3 November 2016: I agree with everything that Aunty BimBim said. You're reading too much into the situation and you've built it into your head somehow that this guy likes you too and has married your sister just so that he can be close to you. You've let your ... (read in full...)
Does my mom really love me or am I just a pawn for her? And why is she so materialistic when it comes to the question of my marriage?
Q. I don't know how to put this. Some background: I left my bf on my parents advise because he's not a good guy. I realised that I'm in a bad relationship and broke up. Now, my parents talk about arranged marriage on and off. I'm okay with meetin...
A. 2 November 2016: Your mother is a sad, unhappy person who's had an unfulfilled life and she's projecting her anger, depression, frustrations, unfulfilled dreams and aspirations, sorrow and misery on to you. She equates marital happiness with money and she thinks ... (read in full...)
How do I force myself to want to care?
Q. Hey all, I wanna know more about how to be more sociable. I am tired of being the quiet, minding his own business guy. I was a very quiet kid and am a quiet adult today. The problem is not fear or lack of confidence. Infact, in my head, I'm the smar...
A. 2 November 2016: Here are some questions for you.
If you saw an animal in need, would you help it? If you saw a dog starving outside your house, would you give it food and water?
If you saw an accident victim on the side of the road, would you stop to help?
... (read in full...)
How do I stop being obsessive about my boyfriend's ex?
Q. I hope I don't get judged too harshly for this question because it's extremely shallow and I have been through a lot worse before. But I'm struggling with extreme jealousy that I can't stop feeling. I currently work in a weird kind of job wher...
A. 1 November 2016: OP there is something very endearingly honest about your post that makes me want to give you a big hug! I can completely understand what you're going through. You're stuck in a rut, you're in a boring job where you need to kill time and you've ... (read in full...)
Why is he paying child support to his ex if their laszy 17 year old daughter is living with us?
Q. I'm back again for more advice. A little update on my last situation because this kind of involved it. I am still with my fiance, although the wedding date is no longer may 2017. I felt like we have issues that need worked out before that happens. A ...
A. 31 October 2016: You don't seem to be paying heed to the advice that you've been getting. You know the situation, you're venting here but you refuse to do anything about it.
You know something OP, it's said that you can wake someone from sleep but you can neve... (read in full...)
Future mother in law seems to have won and talked my fiance into putting off our wedding. I'm pregnant and not happy!
Q. I posted just over a week ago about bringing my wedding forward as I've not long found out I'm pregnant and didn't want to be a due date bride! But was having issues with my mother in law saying she couldn't get the time off work and generally ...
A. 30 October 2016: Don't get married in this way OP. I really feel sorry for you and the situation you've got yourself into courtesy your boyfriend but getting married under the current circumstances is not ideal for you. You need to focus on your health and on the ... (read in full...)
What's up with this man? Why does he try to look good when I'm around?
Q. Hello there! 3 years ago, a male in his early twenties was hired in my school as an teacher. I met him because he became an assistant moderator for the club I went to. During the first year, we treated each other as friends... but in the second year ...
A. 29 October 2016: You can't possibly not know the answer to this very obvious question and you want us to tell you what you want to hear. That he's attached to you.
Don't play with fire. It's flattering to think that a teacher likes you but don't let it get to y... (read in full...)
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