| Latest articles: Just Two
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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Do I keep snooping around? I think my husband is up to something but he's denying it all
Q. Hi, Please can I get some advice, I think my husband is up to something... Several weeks ago my husband had an issue with his car so it had to be in the dealership workshop for 9 days and they were unable to give him a loan car. I gave him ...
A. 8 February 2016: I'm really surprised that after 17 years together, you cant even talk to your husband about something as simple as this! Where's the communication in the marriage? Why the need to snoop around and why do you even think that you'll catch him red ... (read in full...)
I broke up with him a year ago. Is it okay to wish him a happy birthday this year?
Q. I dated someone for three months a year ago. We had a wonderful relationship but realized we wanted different things in life. We ended up having a serious talk on his birthday and I ended up breaking up with him. It was on decent terms but he was ...
A. 5 February 2016: I personally don't think you should wish him on his birthday, because as good as the sentiment is, it might just stir up old memories and make him miserable all over again, that too on his birthday.
You were the one who broke up with him and left... (read in full...)
How do I ask for my money?
Q. I feel really stupid asking this question. I am a math tutor. I go to my pupil's homes and give private lessons. I do it on the side and they pay me in cash. My prices are reasonable (ok, on the lower side, times are hard, but that is my decision...
A. 3 February 2016: OK, if you ask me, I'd say just pick up the phone and talk to her. I always feel that messages are lost in translation and if she doesn't respond or is ambiguous in her reply, then it just keeps getting drawn out into a meaningless exchange of texts ... (read in full...)
Is this cheating? I don't understand myself anymore!
Q. Hay, I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We really love each other and we're planning to move in together soon. So here's my problem or should i say I don't really know if it's already a problem. I've met a man who is nearly 20 years...
A. 3 February 2016: Don't you already know the answer to this OP? Do you honestly think that anyone here is going to tell you "Oh no, go ahead, this is perfectly fine and harmless".
You *know* what the older man's intentions are. He'd do anything to be with a young,... (read in full...)
We broke up 2.5 weeks ago and he's already dating someone else. Was he cheating?
Q. I'm a 44 year old woman who was recently in a relationship with the man I planned to married. He is 47. We were in a serious relationship and were very much in love. We did everything together! He's never given me a reason to think that he was ...
A. 3 February 2016: "He wants to control the relationship". What exactly does this mean? Did he tell you what to do and what not to do? What to wear? Who you could or couldn't talk to?
If this is the case then I'd say that such relationships never really succeed ... (read in full...)
Should I face this now? Or wait, to avoid the stress, until baby is born?
Q. In the next 7 week I will be at my due date with my first baby with my boyfriend. Over Christmas my brother fell out with my boyfriend, and my brother kept telling me to dump my boyfriend as he wasn't what I thought he was and I'd be better m...
A. 31 January 2016: I feel terrible for you because this is possibly the worst time to go through this. However, remember that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and you will get out of this. Don't tell your boyfriend anything yet but talk about your ... (read in full...)
I like him but am not attracted to him. Will attraction grow?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I'm after a bit of relationship advice. I met and have started dating a man through an online dating forum. We get on like a house on fire - same sense of humour, same take on life. We're both quite quirky so it's extremel...
A. 28 January 2016: You're looking for someone to father your child and this doesn't quite seem the right man. It's like you're hoping that you get attracted to him, things just somehow all align and you get pregnant fast. Wishful thinking but sadly not practical. For ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend left me for my best friend. Just found out they're getting married.
Q. Sounds straight out of a movie I know. I was with my ex from 2010-2013. We were both 23 and met at a party. We hit it off right away and started dating. I personally thought we had the 'perfect relationship' we never fought, we always knew exac...
A. 26 January 2016: Here's what you should do.
Sit, have a good, long cry, cry your heart out and then when you're done, wipe your tears and never ever look back again.
It's going to be difficult now, because its a double betrayal but believe me, you *will* get o... (read in full...)
We've been married 7 months and I'm still a virgin because I'm terrified of getting pregnant!
Q. Hi, I'm embarrassed writing on here but I don't have anyone I can confide in.... I hope I don't offend anyone with my post but I'm so sad and frustrated I don't know what to do.... I'm 34, and got married 7 months ago after being with my hu...
A. 24 January 2016: I agree, you need counselling because what you have here isn't just a fear, its a real phobia.
Coming to your problem, first of all, stop using contraceptives if you're not having sex, it just doesn't make sense. If your husband hasn't wanted t... (read in full...)
Why couldn't he have come back in my life before I got married
Q. I feel my life is a movie right now and I need help please. Years ago when I was 22 (I'm now 34) I met and fell in love with this guy, my age and we were together almost 2 years. I was convinced he was "the one." He then got an opportunity to s...
A. 11 January 2016: So he never stopped thinking of you and loving you but in 10 years he never once tried to contact you? What a load of bullshit!!
The moment I read this in your post I knew that he was lying. Whatever he told you, he didn't say it either because ... (read in full...)
Help? Who do I chose? My ex or my child's father?
Q. I met up with an ex boyfriend last year July having not seen him for over 15 years. It was magical and he made he feel so good. WE dated a few times and he even came to my works xmas party. That's the last time I saw him. We had a good ni...
A. 8 January 2016: You should ultimately choose to do whatever's best for your child. When you choose to bring a life into this world, from then on, whatever you do and how you act, has to be in their best interest.
If you think that your child's father will be ... (read in full...)
Was my hair an issue? Or another woman? Did he have a valid reason for not wanting to sleep with me?
Q. I had a big argument with my boyfriend just before Christmas and we ended up not seeing each other for two weeks. Whenever I'm seeing him or I'm around him a lot I make sure that I shave my pubic hair off because he doesn't like it. But because ...
A. 8 January 2016: Can't really add to any of the advice that has already been given. all I can say is that he is a horrible, horrible person and you are much better off without him... (read in full...)
My ex is calling me a whore and a liar. It bothers me! Would anyone else feel the same?
Q. I'm in a bad situation and I don't know what to do about it. Apologies if this quite a long question. I can't really talk to my family because they all have quite decent lives and I feel like a bit of a black sheep. Anyway I've been seeing m...
A. 26 December 2015: Oh my God...I cannot say this enough...just for heaven's sake break up with him and don't look back. This man is nothing but horribly bad news. He's not someone who loves you, respects you or will ever support you. There is no future with him.
... (read in full...)
I'm worred that my girlfriend is going to dump me
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a few months now and it has been great until recently when we spent a whole week together aboard in Spain. At the start it was all lovey dovey but then towards the end she got cold, admittedly I made small ...
A. 1 December 2015: You're trying too hard to please her, she knows it, realizes it and is lording over you. Stop trying to bend over backwards. You didnt do anything wrong. She's just acting too high-handed. Who paid for the holiday, by the way?... (read in full...)
Did I go too far and say the wrong thing?
Q. So my crush and I were texting during the black friday sale and I told him I was shopping that's why I havent been able to reply. Then he was like "What'd you get me? ??" (im not sure if emojis show on this site but he put a smug emoji after his ...
A. 28 November 2015: Yes, it wasn't the best thing to say. If I got a text like that from someone from the opposite sex when I don't know that person well enough, I would think that they're crossing a line. ... (read in full...)
Clearly three women in succssion have not felt "that way" about me. What am I doing wrong?
Q. Hello all. I am a 33 year old guy with a 10 year old daughter. Her mother and I split up nine years ago but I have been ever present in my daughters life. I see her as often as I can and I pay my way with every salary. Everything is great but for ...
A. 16 November 2015: I may be wrong here but maybe they don't want to get attached to someone with a grown daughter and be a potential step-mom to an almost teenager. Dealing with children is not everyone's cup of tea.
Maybe you're just looking at the wrong places. ... (read in full...)
Why am I thinking of my ex when I am dating someone else and things are going well?
Q. Ive recently got into a new relationship but suddenly started missing my ex. The ex and I were on and off for the last year of our relationship but things finally ended in June this year. I met someone new in August and instantly clicked with him...
A. 3 November 2015: Boredom? Curiosity? Could be anything. All I'll say is that dont let this affect you too much and cherish what you have.
You don't intend getting back with your ex and your new Bf is a good guy so while its perfectly normal to think of the past... (read in full...)
Should I confess to cheating? I don't want to lose him, for he's my rock and I love him dearly
Q. I have been with my boyfriend over 2 years and we are completely in love. He means everything to me and he's the kindest, most caring and loyal man I have ever been with. We argue like most couples and one argument we had while I was visiting my ...
A. 2 November 2015: Its one of those situations where you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. Either way, I'm sorry to break it to you, but your relationship is over.
If you do tell him, he'll either almost certainly break up with you or less likely, ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for my boyfriend so why why why am I feeling like this about my ex?
Q. Thiz is a very stupid question but how can I stop feeling bad for dumping my ex? I'm in a great relationship now but I just imagine how bad he's feeling and get upset. He was trying not to cry when we broke up and so was I! We were on and off for ...
A. 13 October 2015: I think you're being really silly about this entire thing.
Instead of appreciating what you have, you are pining over something which is absolutely and completely worthless. Your ex treated you really badly and never give you the respect you dese... (read in full...)
Why would he contact me in the first place, offering himself as a friend or whatever, and then never call and ignore my message?
Q. I'm totally confused and need some advice. I dated a guy a few months back. We were incredibly close. We were emotionally, physically and intellectually intimate. Long story short - he fell in love with someone else and now they're together. Living ...
A. 12 October 2015: He'd probably had a fight with his girlfriend when he contacted you. Iv seen people do this.... When they have a fight and have no one to talk to, they turn to someone who they know will never snub them and will be available for them. When things ... (read in full...)
I'm 30 and still not married, I'm starting to feel anxious
Q. I am a 30 yr old woman who is not married and I'm staring to get a little anxious. I have had 3 serious relationships in my life and without going into detail, they just didn't work out. I have now been single for a little over a year. I know...
A. 25 September 2015: You know what, don't worry about it at all. I am getting married in less than a week(!!) to a man that I met when I was 32. I too had a few bad relationships behind me and I didn't really think I would meet anyone who I really wanted to marry, until ... (read in full...)
Is it really hard to find real love?
Q. Hi Friends! Thanks in advance for taking time and giving me your suggestions/advice. I am 31, Indian, 5'6" and recently divorced. I come from a rather conservative background. Didn't really date much outside my culture. I had a very bad relations...
A. 19 September 2015: "...when it comes to dating I believe my mind starts working in a completely different manner".
I think this is where you're making the mistake...you're trying too hard.
Just be effortless, don't think of the girl as a potential partne... (read in full...)
Is it really hard to find real love?
Q. Hi Friends! Thanks in advance for taking time and giving me your suggestions/advice. I am 31, Indian, 5'6" and recently divorced. I come from a rather conservative background. Didn't really date much outside my culture. I had a very bad relations...
A. 18 September 2015: Its really not that difficult trust me. And you don't have to go to bars and start drinking to find girls. You can meet girls anywhere - ask friends to introduce you to someone they know, hobby groups, clubs, outdoor activities. I met my soon-to-be ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend lied and cheated. Do I take him back?
Q. Hey all, So I have asked questions before on this board and it really helped. Please help! I have been living with my boyfriend for about 4 years. Things are tough because we both work medical and emergency services which means our schedul...
A. 18 September 2015: So basically he cheated on you with her and he's still talking to her and she's his best friend??! My God...this is an absolute disaster. I don't think there's honestly anything left in the relationship for you to mend. Not only is he not repentant ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if it would be best to end things with my boyfriend because of his ex and child and all the drama?
Q. I don't know how to deal with my boyfriend's child drama. My boyfriend and I are the same age, and we have a great relationship. We love each other a lot, we've been together for almost two years and never had a big issue. Currently we're ...
A. 17 September 2015: So your boyfriend is unemployed, there's the baby-mama drama, a difficult kid and an overbearing, agressive and even more difficult ex.
I honestly don't know what this relationship has for you OP. You seem to be taking a lot of nonsense and fran... (read in full...)
Was he just frustrated sexually and I was just there?
Q. Hello, I really need some help. I'm 16 and I recently made a terrible mistake. I needed help with a college project so asked a guy I knew (my dads friends son) to help as he had already done a similar thing. He's 18 and has a girlfriend of 14 ...
A. 17 September 2015: He cheated on his girlfriend. Whether or not he did it because he was frustrated or because she refused to have sex because of her personal beliefs, the fact of the mater is that he cheated on her. Also, how do you even know that whatever he's told ... (read in full...)
I am miserable in my marriage and in love with a married man
Q. Hi everyone! I’m confronted with a situation I cant’ handle any longer, so please give me your advice. I’m married for 15 years, childless. We used to have a good relationship until the daily problems, mainly the financial ones, haven driven my ...
A. 16 September 2015: I read your post carefully and then I went to the part again where you described the man. Two things here OP.
1.) He's married
2.) He has a child
By virtue of these these two qualities themselves, he is off limits and there is really noth... (read in full...)
How to deal with boyfriend's best female friend?
Q. We have been together a bit more than a year. Half a year ago we had hard time in our relationship (broke up for a few weeks). No serious reason: we are two stubborn people. My boyfriend has a female friend (for 3-4 years by now) with who they sha...
A. 15 September 2015: You need to have a talk with your boyfriend and make it clear to him that this female friend nonsense has to stop. You are his girlfriend, not her. You should be his priority and he shouldn't be complaining about you and your relationship problems ... (read in full...)
I am absolutely dreading going to the mutual friend's wedding because my ex will be there with the other woman. I feel like the loser and she will be gloating and all over him :(
Q. Dear Cupids I was seeing a man for a few months and we were getting on really well and his behaviour towards me showed that he was really interested and keen. He said that I was fun, interesting, and pretty, and we had some wonderful times ...
A. 14 September 2015: Awww...I feel so bad for you sweetie! This is such a nightmare of a situation! I know its going to take every ounce of your courage but on the day of the wedding, just smile, mingle with the other guests and try to forget all about these two. You ... (read in full...)
Kicking myself for a missed opportunity
Q. Help. I just turned 40, so in affect I'm now 'middle aged'. I'm not one for dating or looking for dates much - I just take life as it comes. Recently however, I have been kicking myself for turning down a gorgeous guy who was chatting me up online. ...
A. 11 September 2015: In situations like this, just think that whatever happens is for the best. Maybe things wouldn't have been right or good if you were with him. Trust me, you haven't messed up and you shouldn't regret it either because you don't even know him that ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is separated but is going on holiday with her husband and kids, I don't know what to think about it!
Q. I've been dating a really nice women since May and although she told me a few months ago that she is going on holiday soon with her ex husband and their two children there is something niggling at me about the situation. She says it's easier if the ...
A. 10 September 2015: She's still technically married and it seems like a complicated relationship that she shares with her husband.
Its clear that she still wants to keep him happy and she wants him to think of her in a certain way and she's engineering that. Do... (read in full...)
I can't let him go and I'm having trouble detaching from my ex. What should I do?
Q. I was with my ex-fiance for 3 years. He had rage issues which caused me to leave. He would pound his fists into his own head (very hard) in anger at me, he'd scream at me, etc but he never actually hit me. I was sad and felt trapped at times, b...
A. 8 September 2015: Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome to me. Its basically "a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with the captors."
... (read in full...)
Not looking forward to seeing my ex at our son's games
Q. Just enrolled my 4 year old son in soccer. I plan to attend his games with my fiance, and his Father will be attending with his fiance and probably all of her family. I have met my ex's fiance once briefly, but none of her family. Frankly, I am ...
A. 5 September 2015: You're basically feeling frustrated out of loneliness. The fact that your family doesn't support you and that your ex is "winning" the breakup. You already couldn't tolerate him and now you hate him even more because he's doing better than you.
... (read in full...)
I need to put my hurt and anger behind me -- quickly!
Q. Hi, I just wanted to write here as I can't seem to shake off these terrible feelings I'm experiencing. I'm 24 years old and lately for two months. It was the first time in about 3 years where I'd felt a bond with someone and that I could trust hi...
A. 2 September 2015: You got played.
Yes it's going to hurt OP and there is literally nothing that anyone can tell you to make you feel any better. But you know what, what's done is done; just chalk it up as a terrible experience, surround yourself with family a... (read in full...)
Every day I feel stressed and depressed because of my life, husband, parents. What do I do?
Q. I'm a married woman with 3 kids and I'm under tremendous stress and I need help. First off a few months ago my husband confessed to cheating which totally destroyed me and our relationship. We have been trying to work it out for the sake of our ...
A. 1 September 2015: Do you have a job? Are you financially secure?
Listen to me OP, you CAN raise 3 kids alone. There is nothing that you cant do in this world and don't you for one second feel that you're helpless. Yes it's a terrible situation but you know wha... (read in full...)
Is it time to bring this to a close? Seems I am now just a text friend and there has been no apology.
Q. May I ask for advice I fell out with a guy I got close to He gave me the impression he was finished with the person who he was with but was not the case as he has bought into a flat and had to see out the contract Anyway because I felt le...
A. 31 August 2015: Yes, cut it dead. You're not friends, you're barely acquaintances, this seems like a pointless whatever-this-is in any case.... (read in full...)
Should I be scared about starting to look for another Gf, due to the fact that I believe I have a small penis?
Q. Okay so I am 16 I am scared to start looking for another gf as I have a small penis there's nothing I can do about it but it sucks. I don't want to get a gf and lose her because my penis is really small. I can't stop thinking about my ex, we've not...
A. 31 August 2015: I'm sure its not as small as you think. Relax and think of better things! Don't get into the loop of penis size insecurity...this is something you might never get out of. As you grow older you'll realize that size really doesn't matter...its just a ... (read in full...)
My daughter cut ties with us. How can I make things right?
Q. My 20 year old daughter moved and cut ties with her step father and I - How can I make things right? I know most of this is my fault. There has been a lot of drama in our household. My husband and I fight often and have not made good decisions ...
A. 31 August 2015: Wow...I feel bad for your daughter that she's had a mother like you and such a sad family life. Domestic abuse, drugs, drama...this is too much for any sane person to deal with.
Leave her alone and let her decide if she wants to keep any ties wit... (read in full...)
Can I still trust my partner? I'm in turmoil and have doubts since I saw a message on his phone.
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I saw a message on my finance phone whom I have been in a relationship with for the last 4 years which as really upset me. The message were between him and his friend and said along the line of shall we have a threesom...
A. 28 August 2015: Yes this seems like a deal breaker for me and no, I don't think I'm over-reacting when I say this. A relationship is sacred and has a sanctity and in my book, talk like this is unacceptable and cheap. I don't know how or under what circumstances ... (read in full...)
I can't shake the dream I had about arguing with my girlfriend's father and then hitting her in the face
Q. Last night I had a horrible dream that I was arguing with my girlfriend's father, and at the end of the argument I seem to remember hitting my girlfriend in the face (I don't know if it was intentional or accidental, but frightening nonetheless!). ...
A. 27 August 2015: Ok here's what I think.
You were arguing with the father because you cant stand him in general because of the way that he is. He's a mean drunk, he doesn't like you and he doesn't behave well with his daughter either. So you arguing with him make... (read in full...)
Do I get back with my ex? My current g/f is away for six months!
Q. I had a bad break up with my ex 5 years back we were dating 6 years. She had my baby and gave me a choice my new girlfriend or her and the baby. I chose my girlfriend. 5 years have past and now my ex is sending me pics of my child telling me all ...
A. 26 August 2015: Wow...just WOW! You don't give a toss that you haven't seen your child in 5 years but just because your current girlfriend is away, you're considering going back to the ex, NOT for the baby but because you're not getting sex!
You obviousl... (read in full...)
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