| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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Should I meet up with my ex boyfriend ? He still has his girlfriend and I broke up with my boyfriend, but he doesn't know that
Q. Hey aunts! I need advice So I have an ex boyfriend who broke my heart. The relationship was amazing but due to him losing his job, he had to move right away. He said he didn't want to lose me and how he would always want to be with me but we...
A. 2 July 2016: In my belief, an ex is an ex for a reason and you should keep it at that. No good ever comes out of scratching old wounds and you'll just be hurting yourself all over again.
He has a girlfriend and it'll still be long-distance so exactly start do... (read in full...)
Am I insecure that I can't stop worrying that my Bf could be flirting at work with his female colleagues?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years, living together for almost 2. Recently he got a new office job, and told me he is one of only 3 guys that work there... and there's around 20 women. Of course he has worked with women before, but never al...
A. 2 July 2016: If you're confident in yourself and in your relationship then you have nothing to worry about.
There will always be distractions, there will always be attractive people from the opposite sex at the place of work or living next door. Neither ... (read in full...)
Is this family weird?
Q. I am 16 and my boyfriend is 19 and he lives with his parents and brother. His brother is 17. His Dad is away on business a lot and so his Mum spends time on her own. My boyfriend told me yesterday that his brother slept in the same bed as his Mum ...
A. 1 July 2016: I can understand sleeping in the same bed as mum if she felt uncomfortable alone but mum walking around in her underwear and them seeing each other naked... No no no! That to me is unacceptable! That is certainly not normal. ... (read in full...)
Another guy has spoilt our friendship
Q. I'm friends with a female at work and I'm concerned that she isn't into me anymore like she used to be. We used to talk, have a laugh and things seem to have changed. A man who I'm not friends with anymore and who I'm not keen on is now friends ...
A. 30 June 2016: Aren't you the same person?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/engaged-to-be-married-man-after-my-friend.html
You got a lot of great answers to your question and I'm not really sure what you want to hear, I mean the aunts have made it pretty c... (read in full...)
Boyfriend admitted his feelings changed... How do I move on?
Q. I was with my (now ex) boyfriend for six months. The first four months were amazing, we were both very committed to one another and had great chemistry. During the past two months however he became very distant. Communication on his part went from ...
A. 30 June 2016: It's normal to feel all these things after a break-up, especially one where your partner says that their feelings for you have dwindled. It's very, very natural to feel rejected, humiliated, betrayed and bitter.
Allow yourself vent, allow yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 4 years has been speaking to his ex, what do I do?
Q. Hi Guys, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years with a brief break in the middle. I have just discovered that he has been texting/sexting his ex from around 5-6 years ago, possibly his first official relationship. From the beginning, we have b...
A. 29 June 2016: You know the answer, right? Do we even need to tell you that he's lying and he's an absolute piece of filth, someone you need to do away with immediately?
Do you really see a future with this creep?
Basically he's doomed either way... Ei... (read in full...)
How long can I "play" hubby for her?
Q. Me [25 M] in love with [26 F] living with her bf for the past 9 years with two kids It's really a tough situation because I have fallen in love with her and she with me. But as is always the case when someone has been with another guy for 9 years ...
A. 29 June 2016: I think she's playing you, plain and simple. If she were really THAT unhappy with her boyfriend then what's stopping her from leaving him? She's not married yet so there are no legal hassles and please don't tell me she's doing for the kids because ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to sleep with a distant cousin? In my culture some disapprove of this.
Q. Is it wrong to sleep with distant cousin? Not even real distant cousin. Its just that both of our family have same family name. I hate when all of my and their family meets like( cousin family) Also in our culture it is okay to Marry first co...
A. 29 June 2016: Dravidian kinship in India is similar to what you're saying... Marriage between mother's brother's son and father's sister's daughter. If you do belong to this group then you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.
Nevertheless, other "cousin"... (read in full...)
Why can't I let go? Breaking up has left me feeling so low.
Q. My boyfriend of six months broke up with me over text a month ago- I get it the relationship wasn't exactly a two way street. We did everythingn in his time and I put up with a lot more than I should have- like him bringing his friends over on date ...
A. 28 June 2016: Nothing is wrong with you, you were just with the wrong person and you allowed him to mess with you way too much. You know he wasn't right for you, the people who care for you know he wasn't right for you but you still refuse to see the real ... (read in full...)
He's accusing me of not locking the door. Why would he become be so accusatory towards me??
Q. I just moved into an apartment with a room-mate. And there's been a situation that I would like your opinion on: My room-mate came home after being gone for a week, and discovers some boxes for him on his bed, that he ordered. So he asks me if I ...
A. 25 June 2016: It's so ridiculous that is almost starting to become funny now! I would have asked "is he mad?" but clearly that ship has sailed.
He's not just loony, he's also deluded and scary and you definitely need to bolt out of the doors. Look for a new pl... (read in full...)
What's your opinion of age gaps? Does he really like me? Or does he have a different motive?
Q. Okay so first.. What's your opinion on age gaps?? What's to big of an age gap? There is a guy at my work ( I work in a factory) who works second shift while I work first. He is 12 years older than I am. When I very first started working there he...
A. 24 June 2016: He sounds like an uneducated boor and a sleaze and you should stay away from him. He doesn't know how to talk to women, how to be respectful of women and irrespective of whether or not he likes you, he doesn't seem right in any way.
If he does ... (read in full...)
What would you do if faced with these situations from his family and the friends from his country.
Q. Hello I am middle aged and have been married for over 12 years. Both my husband and I are from diff countries and our cultures are different. I moved to Canada and married him, im from UK and hes from another country There have been times whe...
A. 24 June 2016: I understand your perspective. My sister-in-law once made a comment about something that I still cant get myself to ignore and I have clearly told my husband that I want nothing to do with her. Its not just that one comment, its a host of other ... (read in full...)
Is rejection good or bad? How does one accept and deal with rejection?
Q. I asked a female who is beautiful from work on social media if she fancied meeting me for a coffee to get to know me better. This was today, we are good friends on social media, and I decided the time was right to ask her and to seize the day. And...
A. 24 June 2016: Lets face it, no one likes being rejected but the good thing is, you asked her out and you know where you stand. Don't take it personally. After all, this is how the dating game works.
She may have lied to you to soften the blow but then that's h... (read in full...)
Are there problems for wife swapping or threesomes?
Q. Friends, Me and my wife are very god friends and talk about any of our feelings each other. Some two years back I have spoke to her about couple swap or threesome she was also interested in and had similar fantasies. Now that we know there are r...
A. 22 June 2016: Some things sound good in fantasies and it's a great way of spicing things up by just taking about it... But I strongly suggest that you keep it at that.
Have a look at this post from not too long ago and you'll see why.
http://www.de... (read in full...)
Why does he give gifts to ex's kids but plays the "gift game" with me?
Q. Hello my bf and I have been together for two years. He's had a close relationship with his ex during this time. Texting, emailing, calling, and seeing her. He's also very close to her daughters. He attends their games, buys them gifts and keeps ...
A. 22 June 2016: If her kids aren't his kids as well then things aren't looking good. I'd be looking for a way out. There should be no ex'es or their kids in the picture unless its for legal reasons, like an ex wife or paying maintenance to any kids that he's ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my husband nicely that due our circumstances its not a good idea to have his kids at our home?
Q. My husband wants to get his kids (16 boy,13 girl, and 8boy)today but we both work from 6am-6pm M-F. There was no date given when they will be going back home (mothers house), last visit they stayed 3wks. We are having some financial issues right now ...
A. 22 June 2016: How long have you been married? Has this always been an issue or has this cropped up of late? Isn't there a schedule in place for when which parent has them? And how is it that the kids are free all day?
Communication is the key in any marriage... (read in full...)
Am I being a pushover? I'm trying to overlook that he saved nude of a coworker!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now. We were able to make a long distance relationship work for about a year and then 9 months ago he changed jobs so that he could move in with me. Our relationship has always been pretty strong ho...
A. 20 June 2016: Oh he's lying!! And once he got caught, he didn't know what else to do or say so he cooked up the whole story about his colleague sending him the link and him not being sexually interested her. I'm not saying colleague didn't send the pics, maybe he ... (read in full...)
Are my standards losing me love?
Q. Dear Aunts. Ive never had a long term relationship. The longest ive dated is three months. All the guys i date seem to start questioning the relationship at some point. Ive been told by both girls and guys that im very beautiful and ive the right ...
A. 19 June 2016: Don't worry too much, you're still very young and you have your whole life before your for long term relationships and marriage. You don't have to do anything to attract guys; the right guy will like you for who you are. And why are you allowing ... (read in full...)
How should I behave when I meet his parents? They live abroad and I don't speak their language.
Q. Hi agony aunts! So my boyfriend and I have been together for a while now and we've decided to take the next step. Meeting the parents! Problem is his parents live abroad and I can't speak a word of their language. We're staying at his parents...
A. 19 June 2016: Are you sure being a house guest that too at your boyfriend's parents house and on top of it for 2 weeks is a good idea? Two weeks is a long, long time be at someone's house and you aren't married yet.
Many cultures are not favor of unmarrie... (read in full...)
Am I right to be upset about my boyfriend going on a "men's day out"? no women allowed.
Q. Am I right to be upset about my boyfriend going out for the day with his male friends?. He is going out for the day with his male friends this afternoon. He said no women are allowed. He said they go on a day out together every year. He also to...
A. 19 June 2016: I don't think the boys night out is a problem, it's the other things that are more worrying. For one thing, you have 18 years between you. That's a whole generation apart. He's a 50 year old man, almost old enough to be your father, who says he ... (read in full...)
Help ! What should I do? He treats me like someone he wants to string along
Q. I was with a relationship for 2 years. A few months ago i found out he had been two- timing me with his ex (i was apparently the side chick). I broke up. He pursued her like a crazed stalker for a month but she left him for good. Then he came for...
A. 19 June 2016: He *hits and punches* you OP!! That is enough... More than enough reason for you to never ever see his face again and shut him out of your life for good! What are you waiting for? For him to kill you because you "provoked him"? My God... Get out of ... (read in full...)
Did my jealousy push him away? Did I cause him to cheat?
Q. First this is going to be long I'm sorry --I have been dating a guy for a year. He is a very loving affectionate, thoughtful guy who is in constant contact and we see eachother every night. I pretty much live with him. I was cheated by my past ex so ...
A. 8 June 2016: I concur with everything written by Uncle Sage. Too much drama and it's going to lead nowhere. Accept that it's over, be alone for a good six months to a year and figure things out for yourself. ... (read in full...)
My Ex is dating one of my oldest friends. Yet he's also asked to meet me again. Why would he do this?
Q. Boyfriend and I broke up over a year ago and its been rocky ever since with almost getting back together and hating eachother. We were almost getting back together but he decides he wants to date one of my oldest friends of twelve years. They then ...
A. 5 June 2016: He's your ex for a reason. Keep it at that. Don't agree to meet him and let him date whoever he wants. If your friend thinks that your trash can be her treasure then let her be happy. Why do you care?... (read in full...)
Why is my Bf refusing to tell me why he wants a tracking device?
Q. Hi, first all thanks for reading this. My bf of 2 years suddenly asked me about a gps tracking device that he knows I had in the past. I told him I don't have it with me. It is in my locker ( work locker) and I asked what do you need for that ...
A. 5 June 2016: If he were up to any hanky-panky then I don't think he would have asked you for it, that's for sure. Maybe he just needs it for something or borrow it for someone at work and is mad at you for asking him too many questions. I don't think there's a ... (read in full...)
Was I in an abusive relationship?
Q. I recently spit up with my boyfriend of 6 months. It was a very rocky relationship and I feel very depressed, confused and angry after it. I just want to explain what happened and wonder if anyone can tell me if his behaviour was controlling or ...
A. 3 June 2016: Honey this was not an abusive relationship, this was a case study for all abusive relationships. You have no idea how lucky you are to get of this alive...trust me. This could have gotten way worse and out of hand. 6 months and this was the ... (read in full...)
Should I divorce? Not sure. I feel so confused.
Q. I have been with my husband for 5 years and we have a 2 year old child. I have been having an on and off affair with a coworker for 4 years. In the beginning it was supposed to be something casual but I think through time we both fell in love with ...
A. 2 June 2016: Where do I even start? This is one of those posts that leaves me at a loss for words.
While its clear that you're in a romantically unfulfilled marriage, that is absolutely no excuse for cheating. The timeline of your actions imply that you star... (read in full...)
I think I am going to miss her, but is she the one that got away? what should I do?
Q. I need your help agony aunts and for some advice as to what to do. I am friends with a female at work, we get on, have a lot in common and share the same interests, she's supported me when someone close in my family died and also when my heart wa...
A. 1 June 2016: Are you sure you don't have feelings for her? Because people don't feel this intensely just for a friend.
I think you're in denial. You've developed strong romantic feelings for her and that's why you're feeling rejected when she's distanci... (read in full...)
Did he return these insignificant things of mine because he is asking for whatever I might have of his back?
Q. I just received a box in the mail from my ex (we broke up almost four months ago now), with some of my things in it. I didn't even know I'd left these things at his place, it's basically junk (a decorative christmas pine cone and a string of chris...
A. 1 June 2016: If he went as far as to return a pine cone (!) then I think you should return whatever stuff of his you have, even if it's a towel. He's made it pretty clear that he doesn't want anything of yours and rather than just throw out out in the trash, ... (read in full...)
She's engaged but my boyfriend checks out her facebook page every day
Q. My bf n I have been dating for about 4 yrs now. We r both college grads n about to start professional schools. We have a solid relationship but one thing has always bothered me. My bf either has a crush or really really likes one of his friends from ...
A. 30 May 2016: He's obviously still not over his crush on her. Its like one of those "what if" situations and there's no doubt he's romanticizing the whole thing. Why else would he check her Facebook page specifically on a daily basis?
Sometimes people have the... (read in full...)
My husband made a joke about me taking our mutual friend's virginity for his birthday. Should I?
Q. Hi everyone. Me and my husband are both in our early 30's and have been married for 10 years. We have a mutual friend who is about the same age as us both and is still a virgin. Recently my husband made a joke about me taking his virginity for hi...
A. 27 May 2016: You don't think it would affect your friendship?
What delusions are you living with?
Its going to affect your LIFE and alter the course of your marital relations.
I honestly don't know of a threesome or a ménage a trois that has worked in... (read in full...)
How can I ask my husband to consider an open marriage? Cheating has never been a part of our relationship
Q. I’d like to discuss with my husband a possibility of an open marriage but don’t know how to do it. First of all he may think I literarily lost my mind. You see, I was always a good girl/woman, did what was expected of me, while my husband was free...
A. 26 May 2016: Relationships can be so complicated. I understand where you're coming from because you've summed it all really well in your post... and I feel for you. I really do.
You are both two completely different people with different outlooks and neither ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to voice concern about messages from his ex?
Q. My boyfriend's ex lives in a different state and, until recently, didn't know he was in a relationship. Long story short, I finally told him that some of the replies she leaves on his FB (things such as winky faces, invites) are inappropriate. H...
A. 24 May 2016: You did the right thing.
You should have the freedom and the space to say whatever makes you uncomfortable because that's what a healthy relationship is all about.
What would have bothered me more is the fact that you had to ask him to tell ... (read in full...)
His friends don't make me feel welcome. How can I deal with this situation?
Q. Hi All, I'm having this uneasy feeling about a situation, theres nothing I can do about it but wait for it to pass. And then hopefully it'll just be a forgotten memory. The situation is that my boyfriend (of 5 years, of which 2 years living t...
A. 22 May 2016: I can understand how this entire situation would piss you off and I think it was really mean of his friend to not have invited you when she knew that you were a part of his life. Look, maybe I'm being really irrational and but I think that your ... (read in full...)
How can I stop? My fiance is going to leave me if I don't stop this behavior.
Q. I am getting married in four months time, and my problem is this: basically I have been constantly obsessing over my partner's past, and all the things that he did wrong at the start of our relationship. I know it is irrational but cannot stop, and ...
A. 21 May 2016: Are you studying or working? What do you do for a living?
The reason I ask you this is because you seem to have a lot of free time to ponder over non-issues and this wouldn't happen if your mind were occupied productively. If you are a student ... (read in full...)
My ex wants to visit my new Bf for alleged dental work. Is this a good idea? Am I overthinking potential problems here?
Q. I started seeing someone recently We met in the old fashioned way, no internet involved ;) . We are still in the getting to know each other phase and I'm sure we'll move to the next level soon. I really like the fact that we're are not rushing ...
A. 20 May 2016: Why is your ex still a part of your life and why does he know details of who you're seeing? He's an ex for a reason and that means you shouldn't be talking to him except when children or finances are involved. The fact that he knows about your ... (read in full...)
Am I playing with fire?
Q. I'm wondering if my male coworker is attracted to me. Here's how it is: He constantly teases me and tries to get me to smile, which isn't hard because he's funny and our job sucks. Sometimes he comes up behind me and whispers "Boo!" in m...
A. 19 May 2016: You seem to be enjoying this attention and you want us to tell you that yes, he likes you.
You say your partner constantly criticizes you. Deal with your partner and work on fixing the cracks in your relationship instead of looking for flirtati... (read in full...)
How should I respond to his hurtful comments during a argument?
Q. Hi, Just wondering if any body has had a partner who would often say hurtful comments during an argument and if so what did you do? My fiance often says things like he doesn't love me, can't see a future with me, doesn't want a child with me...
A. 19 May 2016: I knew someone like this once, a long long time ago. I still wonder why and how I put up with it for as long as I did and I feel so mad at myself for allowing this to have happened to me. The best decision of my life was kicking this poisonous man ... (read in full...)
Why are some people so critical of open relationships?
Q. So I am letting my fiance have sex with another woman (who herself is in an open relationship) next week. They have already had a date and kissed etc. It's the first time he will have sex outside of our relationship. Rationally I am pretty ok wit...
A. 19 May 2016: To each his own. If you're convinced then why do you care what anyone thinks? Its you who has to bear the repercussions of your actions and if you've thought it out and are fine with it, then its your life and you should do what you think is right. ... (read in full...)
She hasn't offered nor attempted to contribute funds to pay for some of our outings. How should I bring up the subject of money?
Q. I've been dating a woman for the last two months. We've been hitting it off with great chemistry and I really like her. The only thing that is nagging at me and I'm not sure how to approach her is about money. We have gone out to eat about 9-10 ...
A. 17 May 2016: Being a woman myself I have never and would never allow the man to pay, I have always insisted on splitting the bill. However, I know that some women are not this easy to deal with. My brother once took this girl out on a date while he was a student ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to report him for his inappropriate behaviour?
Q. I work in a male dominated industry. There are a number of subcontractors we work with on a regular basis. Last week one of our subcontractors sent a couple of guys out to work on a project. I'm familiar with them all as they come several times a ...
A. 16 May 2016: You shouldnt have agreed to the hug request. You had the option of saying no but you didnt because you probably didnt know how to handle the situation.
Here's the thing. There's no shame in saying a big, firm NO. If a man who you dont know wel... (read in full...)
Did I over-react to his initial rejection ?
Q. Hi! So my husband and I went to different cities post marriage because of work and met recently after a gap of six long months. In order to spice things up I dressed up in a nice lingerie and surprised him. In his response he kissed me, then pus...
A. 16 May 2016: How are things otherwise in the relationship? Given your ages and 6 months apart, I would think he couldn't wait to get the clothes off your back. My husband couldn't even wait for me to go freshen up after a train journey when I'd met him after a ... (read in full...)
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