| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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My boyfriend keeps texting a female co-worker and it's getting inappropriate. Am I overreacting?
Q. So my boyfriend has a female co-worker. He told me a couple weeks ago that it was pretty obvious to him and a few co-workers that a supervisor was trying to get with this female coworker, let's call her "B". My boyfriend told me that he told B "I ...
A. 17 February 2017: So far, from what you say it doesn't really seem inappropriate. The only thing I can tell you here is, don't put ideas into his head. He probably genuinely didn't think of anything like "that" when he was talking her and if you keep hounding him ... (read in full...)
If he misses his ex does that mean his affection for me was fake?
Q. Seeing him for 3 months. He told me he loved me 3 separate times when drunk, to which I didn't respond. He came over to my place all the time, he said he wanted to meet my parents. Then the last time he told me he loved me, the next day he just sto...
A. 16 February 2017: Wait... What!! He poured beer over your HEAD and you're justifying that he did it because he likes you and wondering about his feelings for you?
My God!! What is wrong with women today to feel so lowly about themselves that they equate abuse wi... (read in full...)
Bummed out and annoyed at her lack of understanding!
Q. Hello! It was valentines day yesterday as most of you know! My Gf and I have been together for two years now and things have been well. Like most couples, we've had our ups and downs but we still love each other very much. I am curren...
A. 15 February 2017: Edward I'm a lot older than you and I belong to the school of thought where if you love someone then every day is Valentine's day. You don't need a single day to celebrate your love. When I wished my husband in the morning and just to pull his leg ... (read in full...)
She made me wait until marriage for sex, but we are now married and still no sex!
Q. I know these questions get asked plenty of times - and I know there is no cut and dry answer, but here is my story. I'm 34 years old and my wife of 5 years is 24. She wanted to wait until marriage to have sex which was more than fine for me seei...
A. 13 February 2017: I really don't get it...I mean how does this marriage even work? And how have you never addressed this issue yet?
I'm very curious as to how your life is. Do you both sleep in the same bed? I'm sorry for the very explicit questions that will fol... (read in full...)
How can I get my crush to notice me?
Q. There's a guy I'm interested in but I just can't seem to get him to notice me. I try to talking to him, flirting, touching, writing him some steamy notes, but he just won't respond. I asked him to our school Valentine's day dance and he turned me ...
A. 12 February 2017: He *has* noticed you; he just chooses to ignore you because he's not interested and he couldn't be more clear about it. Please leave him alone. Show some self respect. ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous that my male best friend had beenseeing someone!
Q. My best friend and I have known each other since we were 12 years old. So about 9/10 years now. We've always been best friends. Never argued etc.. he was there for me after my terrible breakup from my ex boyfriend. (He would tell me he will always ...
A. 11 February 2017: Why are you not in a relationship with him? What's stopping you?... (read in full...)
I need help to deal with new found info about wife's past. What should I do?
Q. My wife and I have been married for five years and have two kids. I have never asked anything about her past all I knew is she wasn't a virgin when we met. This past summer we were at a pool party and one of my best friend's from school was ther...
A. 9 February 2017: So you're basing your doubts entirely on what your friend thinks? As Denizen says, not only could he be horribly mistaken, but he's also not a gentleman to tell you all this. I also think he's up to no good because it sounds too far-fetched with too ... (read in full...)
I miss my Mom. Is it normal to feel so bad and upset moving out from a parent ?
Q. I'm 22, married and having a baby in 6 weeks time. My father died a year and a half ago and at the time myself and husbands rent was raised sky high meaning we temporarily needed to move home for a few months however the few months turned into 15 ...
A. 9 February 2017: OP I'm 33 and very much like you!! My mother has been my best friend and the best, most amazing mother than anyone can ask for. She means more to be than anyone ever can and the bond that I share with her can never ever be explained.
Altho... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want me going out with male friends for drinks
Q. Am I in the wrong ? After recently starting uni I made a small group of three male friends whom I worked on an assessment with and we automatically became friends. We are all older than the normal uni starting age so its nice to have someone on ...
A. 8 February 2017: There's a term for your boyfriend. It's called batshit crazy.
I'm surprised you're asking us if you should go out with your friends when you really should be looking at breaking up with this nutcase immediately, if not sooner.
... (read in full...)
How can I keep calm in this intense situation?
Q. I want to ask on relaxation tips and trying not to be paranoid in a very stressful time in my life- here is a quick summary I got laid off from my last job(I work in HR(5years of experience with a masters) and I landed a reputable job in...
A. 8 February 2017: Hugs to you! You seem like a very earnest person and I think it's wonderful that you're doing such a great job taking care of your friend. Just a quick question though, where are her family and who bears the expenses? I only hope you're not the one ... (read in full...)
My crush is moving to another country. Do I tell him I like him?
Q. Back in 2015, I had met a boy at my school who had just moved from Colombia. We became really close friends, and within a few months, I had developed feelings for him. Now, in February 2017, he's moving back to Colombia in a couple of weeks,...
A. 4 February 2017: Awwww...I can totally understand how you feel but really there's no point telling him anything. For one thing, you don't even know when you'll see him again, if ever you will. Secondly, if he liked you back then he would have told you by now. And ... (read in full...)
Should I dump uni' for a small screen role?
Q. Hi everybody, I have a difficult decision to make. I am a student at uni studying accountancy. About half a year ago I suffered a nervous breakdown and was allowed to take break from my studies. I was experiencing a deep depression and took this ...
A. 2 February 2017: There is no substitute for education. Studying will never let you down. You may not use your degree today but one day or the other you will be glad that you have it. No one has ever regretted completing their education.
I notice that many aun... (read in full...)
Do I have a realistic chance with her?
Q. So, here's the situation: there's a girl I've known about 8 eights that I've just received starting seeing as more than a friend. I met her at church about 8 years ago and we weren't especially close then. She went off to school and I saw her very ...
A. 31 January 2017: So let's see. She has a one year old child, her marriage just broke up (you haven't mentioned that she's divorced but I'm assuming she is legally out of it), and she's perfectly fine with going to meet a guy she barely knows to pursue a ... (read in full...)
Should I dump uni' for a small screen role?
Q. Hi everybody, I have a difficult decision to make. I am a student at uni studying accountancy. About half a year ago I suffered a nervous breakdown and was allowed to take break from my studies. I was experiencing a deep depression and took this ...
A. 30 January 2017: There was a story that I'd read a long time ago as a kid. I don't remember it correctly but there was a man who was on the way to a wedding and while waking along the road, he came across a tree with ripe peaches on it. He was hungry and the sight ... (read in full...)
He gets my hopes up talking about having kids and then changes his mind!
Q. hello all of you, I'm Lauren, I would like you all to know my name. I need some advice. I have just come out of a 16 year relationship, my now ex was a lot older than me and had his fill of life experience, married, 4 kids, divorced and th...
A. 30 January 2017: So marriage is off the cards, he's somewhat willing to get you pregnant and you're OK with this arrangement? How are you even on board with this? With marriage off the cards, he's made it clear that he doesn't want any legal ties with you; he can ... (read in full...)
Our marriage is totally devoid of all physical contact!
Q. I am writing to you because I feel I have no one to tell. I have been married for 20 years to a woman who is the mother of my three children (19, 17 1nd 12). We haven't had sex since before the birth of our youngest child and its killing me. In f...
A. 28 January 2017: I wish I could sympathize with you but the fact of the matter is that you have been cheating on your wife and there is absolutely no justification for that.
You have no idea what your wife is going through and of you haven't been able to get it o... (read in full...)
Just found out that my LDR is happily married. Do I confront him?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months.. We are in a LDR, but he's very caring, sweet and romantic...keeps in touch. But one thing that continually bothers me is that he never calls me at night! Two days back, I was viewing his profile on s...
A. 24 January 2017: Yep. Tell his wife. Have all the proof ready and don't let him have the slightest inkling that you know. When you feel you're prepared, tell his wife and block the ass out of your life completely.
Remember, you're not the first person this has... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's parents are strict and I'm not sure what to do anymore
Q. Hi everyone, I'm kind of new to this so I apologize if this is a bit unorganized. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half and besides the ups and downs we are very much in love with each other and even plan to have a f...
A. 23 January 2017: Your boyfriend's family is a certain way and they've made themselves clear. It's unacceptable in their culture for unmarried people to be quite as close as you two are or to go on holidays together.
You have two choices. You can either point-bl... (read in full...)
My wife left me for her ex, who found her on Facebook and now wants to come back. Should I give her a second chance ?
Q. My wife was contacted by an ex on Facebook who first said he only wanted to be friends, then indicated he wanted more. She showed me his messages and told me they dated in high school and college and she broke up with him twice. The first time...
A. 22 January 2017: No way! This woman is disgusting and not someone a decent guy would ever want to be with. She has no morals, no scruples, no decency, no shame and no values. Do you really want someone like this back in your life? Dude you were set free, do you ... (read in full...)
How can I get my current Gf to trust me? I've not cheated on her. But I did cheat on my ex.
Q. I cheated on my first love two years ago with my current girlfriend. I broke up with my first love to set her free from my cheating ways. I still love her and check her social media accounts to see how she's doing but I never told her I cheated wh...
A. 18 January 2017: I'm surprised that's your problem when you have greater things to worry about!
You're still in love with your ex and you have an unhealthy relationship with your current girlfriend. You can't let her blackmail you forever! What if she insists ... (read in full...)
I’m angry with his mom and his sister and have reached a breaking point. I need input!
Q. Hello everyone, This is a long so please bear with me. I live with my boyfriend and his sister. Some background info: his sister is the youngest. She is a bit spoiled by her parents and doesn't have friends for various reasons. She's a princes...
A. 18 January 2017: While the behavior does sound extremely odd, here's my take on the matter.
As long as you're living in your boyfriend's family house, irrespective of whether or not you're paying rent, you're "under" their thumb.
If you're paying rent then... (read in full...)
I'm panicking my boyfriend will cheat on a guy's trip to Cuba. How should I respond or act in this situation?
Q. My boyfriend is in Cuba for one week on a guy's trip. I am beside myself with worry that he is going to cheat. I have read that prostitutes are around every corner there and they are dirt cheap. The anxiety is hard to take. I contact him a...
A. 16 January 2017: Hey that's not a very nice thing to say about Cuba! There are temptations everywhere, possibly even in the place where your boyfriend works or in the house next door. Why give Cuba a bad name? If he had to, he would cheat right under your nose and ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned ? He came home from his class, wearing cologne
Q. My boyfriend is a self defense instructor at our gym. He teaches an hour class one evening each week voluntarily. I noticed this evening that he came home from his class, wearing cologne. This is the first time that I have ever noticed him wea...
A. 12 January 2017: Forget the cologne, I'd be more worried about how low your level of trust is in your boyfriend. If his wearing cologne made you uncomfortable to the extent of asking for advice for strangers on the internet then something is obviously not right with ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my ex that feelings have resurfaced for him even though we are both married to others?
Q. Hi guys! My ex-partner and I separated amicably over a decade ago, and keep in contact and remain friendly towards one another for the sake of our fifteen year old daughter, whom we co-parent. Our relationship, which lasted for about eight years, f...
A. 11 January 2017: You had your chance with him, you were married to him...and you didn't fight enough for it. Even though you lost a child, you still had...have...a daughter and you should have tried to save the relationship as best as you could.
You're incredib... (read in full...)
I always fear something bad is waiting for me
Q. Hey all! I have a dog of 2 years. I love her like a baby and so does my family. Sometimes I just watch her sleeping and worry about how long she will live. I want her to complete the 15 year mark and don't want to lose her young- of course if I h...
A. 9 January 2017: OMG...this post could have been written by me a few years back!
My entire family and I were completely obsessed with our dog as well, and no one thought of her as a "dog"..she was the baby of the family. When we had guests over, she would si... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend appear uncomfortable around his subordinate?
Q. Hi. So there's this woman my boyfriend works with. He is actually her boss. At a social gathering around Christmas, I noticed he looked uncomfortable around her. I asked him about this. He said he thinks she likes him (more than a professional ...
A. 7 January 2017: If you don't stop with your paranoia, you'll only drive him away. There's no cheating, no sleeping around, nothing sinister going on. The only thing that's happening is that you're going overboard assuming the worst and I'm surprised you've thought ... (read in full...)
My friend said something during our casual encounter - criticism or a compliment?
Q. So me and my friend have had sex a couple of times. There are no feelings there at all. We are just good friends, are single, and have ended up sleeping together after drinking. All was well, but she made one comment that made me a little bit ...
A. 7 January 2017: Most certainly a compliment.
There are no rules for casual sex...You can be as affectionate or detached as you want because it's like a deal with no feelings involved. You both have sex when you feel the need for it and then go your separate... (read in full...)
I'm worried that his mother will say something mean in Spanish about me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. So far he's has met my family but for the most part they like him. But I haven't met his mom yet (I met his younger brother and sister). She doesn't speak english well and I'm really anxious about ...
A. 7 January 2017: Why would you assume that she would say something nasty about you? There's no good reason to! Why are you so sceptical that she won't like you? And let's for a second think that even if she does, you can't stop her, can you? If she doesn't like you ... (read in full...)
After my past life I can't face his sexual demands
Q. I am 42 and have been through a lot. I have been rapped when I was younger and beat by my mom and almost every guy I have been with. I need help trying to figure out something. My boyfriend gets mad at me for not wanting to do a 3-some. I ha...
A. 6 January 2017: You'll need a new pair of boots because you're going wear these ones out from kicking this ass*@#$ of a boyfriend out of your life.
That's what he deserves for forcing you for a threesome.
... (read in full...)
The phone messages he's been receiving from her do bother me. But how do I raise the issue with my husband?
Q. Hello I am a woman in my late 20's who has been married for 2 years. I have a problem and don't know how to handle it. My husband back when we were first dating over 4 years ago had cheated on me with a woman he was friends with at a drunken par...
A. 5 January 2017: Of course it bothers you, it would bother anyone. I think you should be direct and honest with him and tell him that you know this woman has been messaging him. Tell him whatever you've told us, that it makes you uncomfortable and you don't like the ... (read in full...)
Why in the world can't I move on?! ?
Q. I have been through a couple of serious breakups in my life but for some reason the one that happened recently has seemingly destroyed me. I dated someone for a very short period of time albeit knowing him for over 12 years. We were only together...
A. 3 January 2017: You can't move on because you're not allowing yourself to move on. You don't want to accept the fact that someone who seemingly loved you so much, now by his own admission doesn't care about you at all. That as you said, has hit you hard, and ... (read in full...)
My husband made 160 phone calls in one month to his female coworker! Advice?
Q. Geez - where to begin? Suffice it to say that about a year ago I began a downward spiral into depression. (The triggering event was horrific, but unrelated to my marriage). Anyway, I am definitely not myself, anymore, nor do I adequately fulfill the ...
A. 2 January 2017: I'm stunned at people's attitude towards marriage these days! One thing goes wrong and rather than try and work towards it, they look at the easiest way out... Fulfilling their desires by having affairs. Your husband took vows with you. For better ... (read in full...)
Is it possible I haven't found anyone who could excite me and hence I've now lost interest?
Q. hi there!! A happy new year to everyone I want to know if anyone has gone through the phase I am going though right now. So it has been over a year I broke up from a bad relationship that was long term. Since my focus is on my career and other p...
A. 1 January 2017: Relax! Nothing's going wrong, it's just that you haven't come across anyone who's challenged you intellectually and who you've found sexually attractive in a long time and you're beginning to think that you're losing the plot.
What you're f... (read in full...)
Is there still a chance for us ? Maybe it has been way long over and I just didn't want to accept it? What can I say?
Q. I've only known my boyfriend for eight months and we've been dating for sixth months but it has been an on and off relationship. The first few weeks or month was everything I ever wanted to be in a relationship where my boyfriend would take me ...
A. 1 January 2017: I honestly cannot believe that in today's day and age, an educated woman is asking this question! Is your self esteem really this low? How can you not see the blatant obviousness of the situation? OP this man will kill you one day if you don't get ... (read in full...)
My jobless, lazy boyfriend is using me for money. He thinks what's mine is also his
Q. Okay so my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, he has been living with me and my family for about 8 months, for the past 6 months he has been unemployed and living off of me completely. Recently I was fortunate enough to come into a ...
A. 1 January 2017: You ARE getting used and you know it and you're still allowing it. Why did you buy his gifts?
Ask yourself, what's the purpose of this relationship? Do you see yourself marrying this guy eventually? Can he take care of you? Your kids? Pay the ... (read in full...)
Can you be pregnant with negative test results?
Q. I had sex with a guy one night in September. I dont really remember what happened but i know we had sex. We used a condom but i am unsure if he secretly slipped it off or of the condom may have failed. It isvDecember now and my stomach looks ...
A. 30 December 2016: You're most likely not pregnant but go to the doctor and get yourself checked.
By the way, you can't "look" pregnant this soon... (read in full...)
Is he not interested or just bad at texting?
Q. Recently I've been talking to a guy, we live a long distance from each other so our main form of communication is texting. At first we texted frequently and the conversation flowed. However after a few weeks he kept taking longer and longer to ...
A. 30 December 2016: Not interested.
Don't waste any more time with this guy. He's not worth the stress.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a 69 year old man to have only one topic he wants to talk about, namely his 30 year old divorced daughter. Is it worth continuing this relationship?
Q. I am 54 years old and met a really nice man who is 15 years my senior. He is divorced and has two daughters one aged 34 and the other in her twenties. On our first date he made a toast to his eldest daughters success in getting a promotion. (i...
A. 29 December 2016: He's a doting father. The daughter has been a very important part of his life who had filled the void left by his wife. Not in a creepy way but in a nice way. He's proud of her, he thinks she's leading the kind of life that is an example to others ... (read in full...)
I told him that I liked him but he just said that let's go with flow. Am I just a friend to him?
Q. I told one of my guy friend that I liked him but he just said that let's go with flow. From that day we started texting a lot. It's been 9 months.. I don't know where exactly we stand.. We talk and meet up sometimes but we haven't talk on this top...
A. 28 December 2016: This isn't going anywhere and he's not into you. Don't waste any more time on this guy. If he liked you then he would have taken an instant to tell you so and would have done just about anything to be with you. ... (read in full...)
Am I freaking out for no reason? He hasn't texted in 3 days!
Q. Hello, I'm a 22 year old single mother. I haven't dated much and it's been 2 years since my last serious relationship. I recently met a guy at the mall a few weeks ago. Well we have been texting the past couple weeks and then this past Wednesday w...
A. 28 December 2016: Please just leave it. He's just a kid, barely out of his teens and no offence but you don't seem very good at making decisions. You're a very young mother living with your own mother; you should be looking at raising your daughter as well as you can ... (read in full...)
Why do some men say things to their partner the man thinks may sound supportive, and yet concurrently they collect pictures of women and porn?
Q. I know this might seem a dumb question but it's bothered me in a lot of relationships I've been in as I've noticed most guys seem to do it and think it's no big deal to lie about it . Why do some men say things to their partner like 'you're the only...
A. 25 December 2016: This could be a huge essay on why people lie but let's keep it simple.
People lie (in relationships):
because they can,
because it's the easy way out,
because it gets them out of trouble, because it helps them get laid,
because it helps to p... (read in full...)
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