| Latest articles: Just Two
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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31 March 2011: I recently read something nice that I would like to share.... JUST TWO. Donate blood twice a year. Donate your eyes after death. Thank God twice a day. Write two letters a week. Visit two ailing people a month. Say two words of gratitude-"...
A little humility goes a long way
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 March 2011: I’ve been a moderator here on DC for a while and it’s a great forum. It really irritates me though when the OP shows no regard for the aunts who’ve taken time to answer questions. We moderators don’t know you, yet we spend time poring over ever...
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Did I over-react to his initial rejection ?
Q. Hi! So my husband and I went to different cities post marriage because of work and met recently after a gap of six long months. In order to spice things up I dressed up in a nice lingerie and surprised him. In his response he kissed me, then pus...
A. 16 May 2016: How are things otherwise in the relationship? Given your ages and 6 months apart, I would think he couldn't wait to get the clothes off your back. My husband couldn't even wait for me to go freshen up after a train journey when I'd met him after a ... (read in full...)
Mistrust is ruling my relationships
Q. Dear Cupid I have always have had tust issue. I am from a big family and am the youngest so watching my brother and sisters go from bad relationship to bad relationship has give me trust issue and have broken up with all my boyfriend's within t...
A. 16 May 2016: We live in a world where more relationships break than sustain. From celebrity marriages to everyday people around us, most marriages and relationships do not work and people part ways. Does that mean that people are losing faith in the institution ... (read in full...)
Help ! I need help to learn how to let go of all this hate I feel for this woman who so belittled me and hurt me so much.
Q. Hi everyone. I posted on here September 2014 time- about my cheating boyfriend of 5 years. Well I decided to give things another chance and it's the best decision I ever made. Whilst I don't mean this literally, him cheating was one ...
A. 16 May 2016: Thank you Cindy...that fortifies my argument.
I also wanted to add something else to my answer. The reason you have forgiven your boyfriend is because you desperately want this relationship to work and you see the failure of this relation... (read in full...)
Help ! I need help to learn how to let go of all this hate I feel for this woman who so belittled me and hurt me so much.
Q. Hi everyone. I posted on here September 2014 time- about my cheating boyfriend of 5 years. Well I decided to give things another chance and it's the best decision I ever made. Whilst I don't mean this literally, him cheating was one ...
A. 16 May 2016: I find myself asking this question often, whenever I read a post about someone forgiving a cheating partner...can you ever really forgive and move on?
This woman was a stranger, she didn't owe you anything...kindness, goodness, honesty or loyal... (read in full...)
My neighbour feels evil, to me. Is it possible that she is or has done something to discourage the sale of our home?
Q. A few years ago, a woman living across the house from us became infatuated with my husband and some very strange things started happening in our lives. She even put something in my drink to make me very sick. We always felt like this woman's aura...
A. 15 May 2016: Maybe potential buyers are getting to hear of this woman and are hesitant.
I honestly don't know what to tell you and I guess only someone who's going through this situation knows what it's like. Is it possible that you can get a priest to come ... (read in full...)
Why am I selfish because I want romance but no sex?
Q. I think I am asexual. Now I had sex before and I didn't like it. But that's the problem, I hear "you did it before so you must've liked it" and "you just weren't w the right person" no. I just really hate sex and oral. But I like dating and romance. ...
A. 14 May 2016: If you're open to dating and romance then I don't think you're asexual. I think you're averse to sexual acts, although I don't know if there's a term for that. Keep in mind that most people that you date will eventually want to get physical.
... (read in full...)
How do I turn down men who want my number?
Q. This happens all the time. I talk to a man on the bus, in class or in a checkout line or wherever and they want my number. So then I have to awkwardly turn him down bc I have a boyfriend or if I don't, I have to make one up. Even more awkward is ...
A. 14 May 2016: I agree with Chigirl. Stop taking to men you don't know because your friendliness is being misconstrued as flirting. If you keep to yourself and have a "stay away" vibe, men won't find you quite as approachable.... (read in full...)
I'm suspicious of the friendship my husband has with his female boss
Q. Hello. I need advice in what to do. I am withy bf for 2 years.He was working in a place for 2 years and in that time he became friend with his female supervisor. A lady like 15 years older than him, they both speak the same mother language because ...
A. 13 May 2016: Look, maybe he's just grateful that she got him a job... And you should be too, especially after he got fired. I'm pretty sure there's nothing to it and he's just being nice to her because she just saved him because good luck getting a job in this ... (read in full...)
Should I worry that he's 13 years younger than me?
Q. I've been with the most wonderful guy for the past 4 months. He's intelligent, funny, affectionate, and romantic. He really cares about me and I care about him. He treats me like a princess and tells me that I am the sweetest woman he's ever been ...
A. 13 May 2016: My husband is only 6 years older to me and there are times when I feel it's a whole generation apart!I guess more than the age thing it's the fact that we come from very different backgrounds and that's what makes a huge difference. I'm from a very ... (read in full...)
Did I miss the red flags on our first dates?
Q. I was wondering if I had missed this red flag? On a first date with a guy he mentioned his ex. He went a little into detail saying he had a 16 year old son and that he had to take his ex to court to get access to him. This I believe was some yea...
A. 13 May 2016: Did anything else happen in the ten weeks that followed? Did you sense the break-up? Women are normally pretty intuitive so I'm sure you must have guessed something from his behavior.
The two incidents that you mention don't really seem like any... (read in full...)
I'm at a loss how to handle this unfair and uncomfortable accusation!
Q. I've had a really bizarre situation and would like some advice and on how I can handle the situation from now. Yesterday there was a knock on my door my boyfriend answered and it was the police He came upstairs and told me they said there has been...
A. 13 May 2016: Put blinds in your house immediately. You should have done this sooner actually...when you know that they can see you doing the dishes or whatever you're doing inside your house, you should have wanted to protect your privacy. How were you ... (read in full...)
How can I cope with this? His intelligence is eroding my self confidence
Q. I've been married to a man for 10 years. And who is extremely intelligent. I consider him to be a genius because he has an incredible ability to learn and retain new information and skills which far surpasses any other human I've met. This could be...
A. 12 May 2016: My husband is brilliant at what he does. He has a PhD in Sociology (I do too) but he's top of his game and an Associate Professor in a top University. He's very well read, very intelligent, an introvert, but a wonderful person. I never feel inferior ... (read in full...)
Can I get over my insecurity and jealousy in this situation? My Gf had sex with someone else shortly before we started dating.
Q. So this is my story, I don't know if I overreact or not. I chatted up this girl in late November last year through a dating app. We talked a bit but there was nothing going on, she said she was busy, working on a project day and night and had to...
A. 12 May 2016: I agree with the OP... She shouldn't have told him anything. Why bring up the past? What good can it possibly do? How exactly is it going to benefit your partner if you tell them? After a certain age, when we get into relationships we just assume ... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend tell me he was with his mom all day when he actually went out without her?
Q. Hello. I need your help in figuring out my boyfriend's actions today. Here is what happened. I texted him this morning at around 11. I said "good morning" to him like usual. But there was no reply. Usually he replies pretty quickly. I th...
A. 11 May 2016: Your follow-up has made it crystal clear that this relationship isn't right for you right now. You don't trust your boyfriend and in your attempt to hold on to him, you're pushing him away even more. He isn't into you, you don't trust him, I don't ... (read in full...)
Can I get over my insecurity and jealousy in this situation? My Gf had sex with someone else shortly before we started dating.
Q. So this is my story, I don't know if I overreact or not. I chatted up this girl in late November last year through a dating app. We talked a bit but there was nothing going on, she said she was busy, working on a project day and night and had to...
A. 11 May 2016: Yes OP, you're need to get over your insecurity because what happened before you met her doesn't count. It was in her past and you were not a part of that past. You're ruining what could be an amazing relationship by fixating on something this ... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend tell me he was with his mom all day when he actually went out without her?
Q. Hello. I need your help in figuring out my boyfriend's actions today. Here is what happened. I texted him this morning at around 11. I said "good morning" to him like usual. But there was no reply. Usually he replies pretty quickly. I th...
A. 11 May 2016: Oh God where do I even start?
You are stalking this guy and this is serious business. You drove by his house at 11, saw that his car wasn't there so you hung out in the library, watching out for him for TWO hours! And you'd have probably even sta... (read in full...)
Is my nudity, inside my own home, in front of my 44 year old stepdaughter, OK or not?
Q. My wife and I are in our late 60's - just average people except that we like to be nude at home when it is warm enough. Now my 44 year old step daughter is living with us and strongly objects to me being naked even though it is my house. Her mo...
A. 11 May 2016: Not to be disrespectful of your beliefs but what you're doing is just absolutely gross and disgusting. If you want to be naked then you do it in the privacy of your own room. You don't go around displaying your private parts to your step daughter ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend invited me to his graduation. Should I attend?
Q. Hi aunts!! My ex boyfriend just called to ask if I would be willing to attend his undergrad graduation in June 11th. He and I dated for 6 months and broke up twice both times because my best friend let me know he was cheating on me, though neith...
A. 7 May 2016: You don't have closure? Closure to what OP? The man cheated on you and that too twice in a matter of a mere 6 months. This is enough for you to despise him and block him out of your life for good. What do you even mean by closure? Do you want him to ... (read in full...)
Why won’t he help me around the house?
Q. Hi everyone I am just trying to make sense of things. My boyfriend (together for 4 years) lost his job and came to live with me while looking for another. I paid all the bills including his child's (not my child) school for 6 months. He got another ...
A. 7 May 2016: I think you have done enough and this incident should be an eye-opener for you because this shows you exactly how he thinks and what kind of a person he is.
Exactly what are you getting out of this relationship? I'm sorry if this sounds harsh bu... (read in full...)
Has anyone here fallen in love with a married man?
Q. Has anyone in this group never fallen in love with a married man and decided to stay on the side in case he leaves his wife? If yes did he ever leave his wife? Is it a possibility that he may leave his wife?...
A. 5 May 2016: Married men never leave their wives. I know of a man in my town who's older than my father and had been having an affair for donkey's years and guess what? He's still with his wife.
You'll always be the mistress, you'll be looked down upon, os... (read in full...)
Why do I have this school girl type of crush?
Q. I have a boyfriend but have a secret crush on a man that sometimes comes into my workplace.i also see him out and about regularly. It has been a bit of an obsession of mine for about six months now. I am literally crazy about this guy although I ...
A. 5 May 2016: Its OK to have a crush but an obsession...that doesn't sound normal. Are you sure you're happy in your present relationship? Does this wonderful partner of yours know about this obsession of yours? How would you feel if he was "obsessed" with ... (read in full...)
Why would he be messaging his ex in the first place? And why ask her for pictures? If he misses her, is that a bad sign?
Q. I found out and saw that my boyfriend was texting back and forth was his ex girlfriend. He asked her to send him a picture of her (not sexual just normal) and then he told her how gorgeous she was and that he missed her. I asked him about it and...
A. 4 May 2016: I don't know if it's a bad sign or a good sign... Depends how you look at it. Take it as a blessing that you know what he's up to so that just makes it easier for you to take a decision. He's obviously still into her and apparently quite brazen ... (read in full...)
Why do low-income families go on to have more children when it's hard to make ends meet?
Q. Just curious, as I see tons of family's that have sometimes 4 or more children, yet have an extremely small income. You'd think it'd be the opposite, because the low-income families have neither the time nor the money to properly care for these ...
A. 4 May 2016: Lack of knowledge of contraception which means they just couldn't be bothered to take protection. Also, I think they're so jaded in their lives that sex is the only form of entertainment for them. I think another factor could be that they get ... (read in full...)
Is my cheating any worse than the abuse he inflicts or threatens me with, regularly? Is getting help as impossible?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 8 years.I'm cheating on him. My husband has been abusing me for the last 3 years.Apart from the physical abuse which he exercises every day he abuses me verbally as well. He calls me all the names under the ...
A. 30 April 2016: OP you need to understand something here. You blowing the other man may feel good for as long as it lasts but its not the solution to your problems in any way. Yes you're trapped in a horrible situation and are looking for a release but just imagine ... (read in full...)
She wants us to start again. What would be the best thing to do?
Q. I have been seeing my girl for nearly a year. My pal is on a dating site POF. He told me my girlfriends photo profile came up in a search, so I checked it out for myself. He wasnt lying. It said she had logged in within the last 24 hours. I ...
A. 29 April 2016: The best thing to do is to just wish her well and walk away. She's a cheat, a liar, abusive, manipulative and an opportunist. Are these the qualities that you want in a girlfriend? I should hope not!... (read in full...)
How should I handle this? Is he being thoughtless? Selfish? Or ?
Q. My boyfriend was supposed to be going to a gig with me. The band cancelled the tour due to illness. Instead promised we would go on a weekend getaway and hinted at engagement. We have been together 2 years and have two kids together and liv...
A. 29 April 2016: You've been living together, you have two kids..you're basically like a married couple without the legalities and you've given him everything that a man could want from a wife...without actually being his wife. He basically gets away scot-free ... (read in full...)
He's less interested in sex. Is it me? Or could it be that I disgust him in some way?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over two years and up until about 5 months ago things were great, we had a great love life and sex life and I was happy. However, recently, we've rarely been having sex, I would say maybe once a month. I brou...
A. 29 April 2016: Is he depressed about something?
Have there been any changes in his place of work/ too much work/ is he working over-time?
Is he taking any medication?
Any problems on the personal front of late?
Does he use alcohol or drugs?
Maybe o... (read in full...)
How can someone who claims to love you be so unfeeling?
Q. I got pretty sick this past week. I was bed ridden for days had no energy throwing up. My husband had it the week before so naturally I was concerned for him took care of his every need and made sure he felt loved and taken care of. Fast forw...
A. 25 April 2016: I absolutely agree with Mystiquek...it really depends on the person and some men are not as nurturing as others.
I have a terrible problem of migraines and more often than not, when I have a particularly bad attack, I end up throwing up. Now my h... (read in full...)
I’m expecting my first child with my boyfriend but he isn’t happy and is calling me a liar!
Q. I have recently discovered I'm expecting my first child with my boyfriend of 3 years. It seems like it would be great news but he isn't happy at all and keeps calling me a liar as I had always believed that I couldn't have children naturall...
A. 25 April 2016: When you realize that you're pregnant, the first person that you tell is the father of the baby, NOT his ex-wife!! Of course he's pissed! How would you feel if your boyfriend had some big, life-changing news, and shared it with your ex-boyfriend ... (read in full...)
I’m falling out of love with my boyfriend because he keeps rejecting me due to my weight gain of 15 lbs!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3.5 years, during which time I have been enrolled in a rigorous PhD program. I am 5’8 and when he met me, I weighed 155 lbs. A year ago he told me he hadn’t been attracted to me for about 6 months. He had b...
A. 25 April 2016: What a gem of a person!
Anyway, OP I was in a very rigorous PhD programme myself so I know exactly where you're coming from. A PhD can be draining at every level, so its important that you keep fit and healthy because that also affects the qual... (read in full...)
Ladies: Can you sleep with someone for 6 month and have no attachment?
Q. Question for the women. Can you sleep with the same person for nearly six months and have no attachment to them? Is it likely? I've been sleeping with the same girl for that span of time in a fwb situation. We spend the night weekly and talk ...
A. 23 April 2016: Of course it's possible! It's an FWB and the length of timev you spend sleeping with someone has nothing to do with developing feelings. That's the things about FWBs', all that sex and no attachment. Someone is bound to get hurt sooner or later and ... (read in full...)
How can you love someone and still feel mind-blowing chemistry with someone else?
Q. Hi everyone, I was really curious about something. I feel like my current boyfriend is a man I can marry and have children with etc. We get along very well and keep each other laughing. We support each other in our dreams and careers. However...
A. 23 April 2016: The grass is always greener on the other side. When we get whatever we want, there's no appreciation for that; instead, we crave for more. More excitement, more fun, more money, more everything.
You have an amazing boyfriend yet you're lusting ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend wanted the truth about his ED. Is ED a good enough reason to end a relationship?
Q. I had closure with my 45 year ex boyfriend last night. The problems around our sex life weighed heavily on this new relationship. Is it a good enough reason to end a relationship because I cant have penetrative satisfying sex? I love making l...
A. 22 April 2016: I once briefly dated a man who couldn't get it up very often and yes, it was frustrating. We broke up, not for that but because he was an asshole but yes, in your case, it IS a good-enough reason to break up.
You shouldn't give up on somethin... (read in full...)
Why do co-workers like to dig into other people's personal lives?
Q. I know these people mean well but I'm not interested in making friends at work. I'm just there to do my job and that's it. I'm not saying I act anti-social. I still talk to my co-workers about gerenal stuff, joke around, But, I don't like to talk ...
A. 20 April 2016: Oh that's just how people are. *Most* people are nosey, they like to interfere in others' lives, offer unsolicited advice and want to know everything about what the other person is doing.
I'll give you a few small examples of how annoying... (read in full...)
He’s stood me up not once, not twice, but three times! Is he just unlucky or is he married?
Q. Ok I'm in a little shock right now. I've been stood up not once not twice but three times. I know many will say why would talk to someone who did this to you. Well he was so charming. He would say how beautiful caring I was then ask me out then at ...
A. 20 April 2016: Unlucky?
Where did you get that from?
He's not unlucky or anything like that, he's just an untrustworthy person and I think you'd be much better off without him. All these mind games and standing you up...you know what they say..."Fool me once,... (read in full...)
Should I accept? Ex bf has a gf, but wants to start over with me as friends and see where things go
Q. I need to start off by saying I am emotionally in a bad place these last few days, and I may be all over the place with this. I severely need help from unbiased views. I feel uncomfortable talking with friends about this. An ex bf of mine (was ...
A. 19 April 2016: This is really not that difficult a problem; in fact, if anything he's made it simple for you.
Look, he's clearly being an ass and unfaithful to his girlfriend. No points for guessing that. He's also stringing you along by dangling a carrot i... (read in full...)
Threesome gone wrong and I feel so cheated! Help me please...
Q. I have an issue that I can't get over and I don't know what to do. I have been with my husband for approximately 10 years and he has always been my best friend. We have always joked about a threesome but were never really serious, although secretly ...
A. 17 April 2016: What worries me OP is that he will be in touch with this woman because they work together. Which means he will most likely see her every day. I doubt if he would revert back to the previous state of being with just you and in a monogamous ... (read in full...)
Threesome gone wrong and I feel so cheated! Help me please...
Q. I have an issue that I can't get over and I don't know what to do. I have been with my husband for approximately 10 years and he has always been my best friend. We have always joked about a threesome but were never really serious, although secretly ...
A. 16 April 2016: Have you spoken to your husband about how you felt?
What did he have to say about the entire episode?
Is he still in touch with this girl?
Does he want to repeat this again?
.............
Its important to know the answers to all these qu... (read in full...)
Should I confront my sister in law or just move back to my home country?
Q. I moved abroad because I was suffering from social anxiety and depression after being the victim of a sexual assault. Got a fantastic job, bought my own house, got a boyfriend, and we ended up getting married. Things seemed to be going fine. To t...
A. 13 April 2016: First of all, calm down OP. You don't need to do anything drastic, least of all leave the country or your husband!
OP fights and misunderstandings happen in every relationship. It happens in every house, in every relationship, in the best of relat... (read in full...)
Ladies, how would you react to your boyfriend sending you flowers?
Q. Hi All Ive been dating quite a while now, things are good generally I do get her the occasional 'just because' gifts, her fave choccies, an engraved pen when she started a new job etc- nothing too overboard though. I would like to get h...
A. 13 April 2016: Most people would live to keep their personal and professional lives separate. I know I would.
It's great that you're such a caring boyfriend but I think that you should keep displays of affection for the personal sphere. Sometimes, even the best... (read in full...)
Are they turned off by my virginity?
Q. I loved two different guys once upon a time... The first guy was into me, we had alot in common. We went on a couple dates and we discussed sex, marriage etc. When he found out I was a virgin tho , he said he couldnt be with me anymore.. The...
A. 12 April 2016: You're just going for the wrong men OP. A decent guy would never be turned off by a virgin...heck that's what they want! Don't you see so many posts here from people who say they cant deal with their partner's past, even if they've been with one ... (read in full...)
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