Like what
he writes?
... Add *immD to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *immD a private message | | | *immD's profile:Any advice I give should not be taken personally. I'm not here to judge you, so you can be sure any advice I give is strictly objective. What you choose to do with my advice is completely up to you, though you can be sure the advice I am giving you is what I feel is best for you.
Please keep an open mind when asking for advice. It seems that many people aren't really looking for advice, they are just looking for justification to do what they already have in their mind to do. This site is about gaining an unbiased perspective on things. Please don't ask a question if you've already made your mind up on what to do.
Some things to remember:
- The "pullout" method is NOT a method of birth control. This is just something people do to rationalize their thoughts that sex without a condom feels better than it does with a condom. Even though a man doesn't climax, he still secretes fluid the entire time that has the potential to make you pregnant. Don't be a fool, if you are old enough and mature enough to have sex.... use birth control.
- There is no excuse for "revenge" sex. If your partner cheats on you, immediately going out to sleep with someone else as revenge doesn't make it right.... it makes things way worse. Relationships aren't about keeping score. If you believe they are, then you shouldn't be in one.
- Relationships rarely end easily. Especially long term relationships. It is very common for one partner to breakup with the other and then continue to text them or call them. Many times sex can start again as well. Unfortunately, there was a reason you two broke up in the first place and odds are a cycle with start to where you start to spend more time together and eventually feel like you ARE together... only to break up again. So before you post those "He broke up with me but he still texts me!" questions, remember this.
- There are about 50 million posts here regarding porn. Please do a search prior to posting questions like "My boyfriend watches porn, what should I do?". This is a touchy subject here but my opinion on porn is that it's not a big deal - as long as it's not an addiction. To MOST men, watching porn is strictly a tool for masturbating. Those women are not the type men want to have relationships with. Ask and most men will tell you that as soon as they "do their deed" they shut it off. It's not like they watch it for any other purpose. From my experience, the women that have issues with porn have issues with their own self confidence and they are insecure. There are many women out there that are confident that they satisfy their men sexually and feel that their husband watching porn is harmless. However, don't get me wrong, there are times when a man is addicted to porn and will choose porn OVER sex with their partner. This is where porn is unhealthy. My point in all of this is if you are in what you consider to be a "perfect" relationship with a great guy who does anything and everything for you, there is no need to penalize him if he watches porn. If you STILL have a problem with it, try watching it with him. Make it a sexual experience for the both of you. Or, record yourself with him. You'd be surprised what that does for a relationship. |
|
| Latest articles: What you need to know about Online Dating
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 August 2010: First, let me start off by saying that online dating is not a bad thing. In todays age of technology and the internet, I think online dating is just as good if not better than simply meeting someone at a bar, pub or nightclub. When you meet ...
|
I think I am falling for my best friend, a girl, again!
Q. I think I am falling for my best friend, a girl, again. We have tried to go out twice before, and they lasted roughly...a day or so, but they were about a year apart. I think I am getting stronger signs from her that she likes me. So i just con...
A. 19 April 2010: Why did it not work in the past? I think I'd start with understand what didn't work and focus on changing that for the future.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had sex with another guy, but she says she was too drunk to realize what was happening.
Q. Hey everyone. My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 3 years now. We went through a rough patch about 1 year into our relationship that I rationalized as her "waking up" and maturing. She was in love with alcohol, like so many young ...
A. 19 April 2010: Normally I'd subscribe to the "Once a cheater, always a cheater..." label but in this case, you might want to just put this in the "early" part of your relationship. I know what you mean about not liking when somebody gets that drunk and I have the ... (read in full...)
Friend says she wants to sleep with me
Q. (Moderator note: broke this into paragraphs to make it easier to follow) One weekend back when I was in school I saw a girl from one of my classes walking by the food court in the mall. I just happened to see that she had some type of accident...
A. 19 April 2010: Since you helped her out all those years ago she probably started liking you. Though it seems like a huge misunderstanding, she's gotta have SOME feelings for you or at least be attracted to you.
I'd start by telling her you've always like her... (read in full...)
How early is too early?
Q. Okay I am currently in a 3 month relationship with my first boyfriend ... still a virgin hes not .. im not sure tho wether i want to "fool around" yet he tries to but he understands that i am inexperienced haa but i dnt want my nerves to ruin it or ...
A. 19 April 2010: There is no specific timeline. Only you can tell how long till you are ready. There's only one important thing to keep in mind: Go at the speed YOU want to, not him. Do what you feel is comfortable and don't be pressured into anything.... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend REALLY want to marry me?
Q. My boyfriend's family don't really like me but I want to get married to him. They would be totally against it. He says if I can get a million fans on my Facebook page he'll marry me anyway. So far I've only managed to get 137. Surely if he re...
A. 19 April 2010: Do you think a million is achievable? No. It's not going to happen. Neither is him marrying you.
Don't marry - or try to convince somebody to marry you who doesn't want to. You don't need him.
... (read in full...)
Why does he send his ex vids of us having sex?
Q. Why does my boyfriend do this? He is still in close contact with his ex. They had a long distance relationship for 3 years and they still talk and text pretty regular. I know he sometimes sends her vids and pics of US having sex or...he does thi...
A. 16 April 2010: She gets turned on seeing him do stuff to you, and he gets turned on by the fact that SHE is turned on. There is still something there between them. I wouldn't be surprised if he asked you to have a threesome sometime. He'd say "She means nothing ... (read in full...)
I want to have my cake and eat it too.
Q. *Op's own title* So I have been in a relationship for about a year in a half. We have been living together for almost a year, but I'm only 19 almost 20. We started dating right after i got out of a bad relationship and moved in when we were only toge...
A. 16 April 2010: Ask yourself this: If you broke it off with your boyfriend to where you no longer saw him, how would you feel? Better yet, what if after you broke up he met somebody else and was happy... how would that make you feel?
If that wouldn't bother y... (read in full...)
How can I be desireable to him and win him over?
Q. So,here's the thing, I have been single for 1.5 years.I have had various love intrests and now I'm really into this guy from work, we get on well and flirt,I didn't want to pursue anything as he had a girlfriend but they just broke up and now I ...
A. 15 April 2010: If he has given you opportunities such as asking you out for a drink, you HAVE to take him up on his offers. If you do not, then there is only so long a guy will try before he believes you are not interested in him.
If you ARE interested in him, ... (read in full...)
I confronted him about another girl and he spat on me and shoved me down the stairs. How do I move on from this?
Q. I am not sure how to get over this so im asking for everyones opinion. I just recently broke up with my ex saturday because I confronted him about texting this girl and deleting messages from her. he got all pissed off kicked me out of his house ...
A. 15 April 2010: Spitting on you = a coward/loser/jerk
Even if he did apologize you shouldn't be with the type of person that is capable of that. Consider yourself lucky you found out now before things went any further.... (read in full...)
My sisters husband is cheating on her, ..with our other sister!
Q. I've got two sisters one is 58 and the other is 53. Recently my older sister finds out her husband has fallen in love with my other sister. She is upset about it but have no courage to confront them. I want to help but dont know where to start. ...
A. 15 April 2010: All you can really do is be there for your older sister. Your OTHER sister will have feelings for this guy so if you confront them you risk damaging your relationship with your other sister.
Your older sister must be the one who confront... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants to be single for awhile
Q. So I'll keep this short. Me and my girlfriend were together for almost 2 years. I am madly in love with her and know she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with her. We have had the future talk, and are planning to move in together in ...
A. 14 April 2010: Yeah, I'm confused also. This really doesn't make any sense. Has she had any relationship issues in the past or maybe some childhood issues of any kind?... (read in full...)
I'm confused! Does he have an interest for me or not??
Q. I'm moving back to my hometown in a couple of months, after 3 years. Thought I would try out this mobile site to meet new people from there. My intention was to never find anyone, but I had an interest in this guy I found, and it has peaked highly. ...
A. 14 April 2010: Sounds like he just has very low self esteem. Some people's self esteem is so low that they don't know how to take compliments very well. If he's talking to you all of this time and staying up late chatting then he definitely likes you and is ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants to be single for awhile
Q. So I'll keep this short. Me and my girlfriend were together for almost 2 years. I am madly in love with her and know she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with her. We have had the future talk, and are planning to move in together in ...
A. 14 April 2010: One of two scenarios:
1. She hasn't had much alone time (always with somebody and never really out on her own). She wants to know what that's like before she gets married.
2. The idea of being with one man forever scares her and she wants to... (read in full...)
I'm 41..Do I go for this young guy while I am waiting for Mr Right?
Q. Hi All, I am a very young looking 41 year ol woman and last week met a stunning guy of just 27 in a bar whilst I was out with some work colleagues. There was an instant attraction. I was tipsy, and before long we were kissing and flirting. He...
A. 14 April 2010: She definitely might be jealous. Sounds like a typical reaction from an insecure person. She's trying to make herself feel better by putting you down and trying to make you feel worse about yourself. And she continues to go out with you because ... (read in full...)
Relationship with a lawyer?
Q. Can I have a relationship with my lawyer after my case is settled?...
A. 13 April 2010: Depending on what kind of case it was.... yeah, sure. You just have to be careful that there isn't an issue with a conflict of interest. For Example: A divorce case could end up coming back to bite either you are him in the butt from the other ... (read in full...)
Is it fair to say that if she won't do it for me, I won't do it for her?
Q. my girlfriend had a lot of sex before she got with me. She was well known for giving blow jobs. We have been together a year and she won't give me one. When I asked her to do it she refused. She said that when she was younger she did it ...
A. 13 April 2010: Seems a little childish in my opinion to say "I won't do it for you if you won't do it for me.".
Yes, she's being a little unfair. But look at it this way... she may be feeling guilty about her past. Even a bit slutty. She wants to treat yo... (read in full...)
Was he cheating with this emotional affair?
Q. I have discovered that my husband has been having what people on here seem to call an 'emotional affair'. I have got proof that it was not physical although they were egging each other on with sexual innuendo and lovey dovey stuff. Given that it ...
A. 13 April 2010: There will most likely be a lot of different opinions on this, but here is mine:
I don't consider this an affair, or cheating. USUALLY I would consider an "emotional affair" cheating, but the circumstances appear to be different here. One of t... (read in full...)
Should I leave the man I don't think I can ever trust again?
Q. Husband and I are both 36. Been together 13 years, married 4.5 years. November 2008 I planned to take my husband on a long weekend trip. He was having a rough time of things and I felt that he deserved a treat. The morning we were to leave, I went t...
A. 13 April 2010: It sounds like you already know what you should do. However, if he shows any signs of wanting to stay together you can try the counseling. It will be very apparent while there whether or not he's serious or not. If not, then that makes your ... (read in full...)
Has she given up on me?
Q. So me and my ex have been broken up for about 3 months now. We broke up because she didn't like my lifestyle at the time. You can say that I got into the mix with the "wrong crowd". Since the break up, I've totally cut ties with those people, and ...
A. 13 April 2010: Depends on how bad your past really was, and how much you love her. If your past hurt her enough, then I can see her needing some time to make things work.
If she's that important to you then give her some space, but let her know you are doing yo... (read in full...)
I feel used and cheap
Q. So my boyfriend and I had an argument. And I'm extremely pissed right now. We have been dating for 3 months. Off and on. We have not had sex since wednesday night, well we had sex on sunday (but that doesnt count he says). We got into an argument ...
A. 13 April 2010: The guy is bad news. He doesn't trust you and just as marieclaire said... he's trying to put it back on you. He's manipulative. Leave him.... (read in full...)
I'm 41..Do I go for this young guy while I am waiting for Mr Right?
Q. Hi All, I am a very young looking 41 year ol woman and last week met a stunning guy of just 27 in a bar whilst I was out with some work colleagues. There was an instant attraction. I was tipsy, and before long we were kissing and flirting. He...
A. 13 April 2010: Don't let anybody tell you what is fitting for a woman of 41. Go for it. Have fun, live a little. Who cares if he may or may not have called you first? If you start worrying about that, then the relationship is already WAY to serious for you.
... (read in full...)
Confused about my feelings for my bi friend.
Q. Okay, so. Erm, this is hard for me to explain. I don't really know where I'm at right now, I'm kinda confused. So I have this friend. About a year or two ago, she came out to me as bisexual. I've always been very open-minded and an avid supporter of ...
A. 13 April 2010: Well, since she is not married you still have an opportunity to say something to her. You don't need to sabotage her relationship or anything, just talk to her. Since she continues to bring you along, hug you, sleep in the same bed with you there ... (read in full...)
I feel like a cheater, how can I get rid of this guilt?
Q. I have been in a great relationship with a wonderful guy for the past 14 months. About 8 months ago ( 6 months into the relationship) I was in a club and spotted a guy I knew. I started chatting to him as I am very friendly with everyone w...
A. 12 April 2010: Sounds like you have nothing to worry about. You already know you shouldn't put yourself in that position again so as long as you stick to that you'll be fine. Otherwise, just continue to show your BF how much you love him and use your experience ... (read in full...)
I feel cheap because I've done so much more than my b/f
Q. I just started a relationship with a very close friend of mine. We just had our second date and he kissed me. Last night we were doing 20 questions. He asked me how far I had gone with my last boyfriend who I had a year and a half relationship with. ...
A. 12 April 2010: 19 and still a virgin? You are absolutely not a slut. In fact, considering how things are out there now a days you should be commended.
From what you've told us all you have done is experimented with someone you were in a relationship with. N... (read in full...)
How can I show my boss a hot kinky time?
Q. I posted on here a few days ago regarding my casual sex relationship with my 33 year old boss. Today, she expressed an interest to visit me one night. So far we have only been having sex around hers but she wanted to spice it up a little. My parents ...
A. 12 April 2010: I agree with Yos. She's with you because of your youth, your stamina, and because you most likely haven't picked up any bad habits. Basically - be up for anything she wants. If she really wants suggestions, some lighter forms of bondage is a good ... (read in full...)
Him taking cialis is killing my confidence.
Q. My boyfriend recently started taking Cialis, and I have no idea why. He gets erections fine and is only 33 years old. We have been together for a while, and he's never had problems getting or maintaining erections. I have always been a very open ...
A. 9 April 2010: Some guys do feel it makes them better in bed and last longer. Just because he's taking it doesn't mean he's not turned on by you. As far as not taking it while masturbating... that would just be a waste and defeat the purpose of masturbating. ... (read in full...)
Do you think I still have a chance with this guy?
Q. Hi There's a boy who's been flirting with me for a while. He's always hugging me and saying that he 'loves me', he also goes out of his way to walk me home. At a party we were playing truth or dare, and he admitted that he has got a crush on me. E...
A. 9 April 2010: At this point you just need to flat out ask him. Since you didn't answer immediately he may think you have doubts. Don't be afraid to take the initiative. Ask him out yourself. Sounds like he definitely likes you.... (read in full...)
Oral Sex - she takes it but wont give it!
Q. I am married man and i love to have blow from my wife, but my wife dont want to have my pinis in her mouth nor she likes my cum fall on her body. But she loves me licking her pussy. i am not satisfied. how to convince her to give a blow job. please ...
A. 9 April 2010: Some women just don't like it and sometimes there's nothing you can do about it.
Try small steps. Don't ask for 2 much at once. Maybe try to get her to give you a handjob with very little from her mouth. Then over time slowly get her to use h... (read in full...)
Issues with being bi sexual.
Q. So I'll try and keep this one as short as possible. So I've had a few relationships in my 24 years. A 9 month relationship with a guy, a 3 year relationship with a woman, a 3 month courtship with a woman and then well I was single for 18 mo...
A. 9 April 2010: Everybody, whether they are gay or straight, has attraction to other people. That's just being human. It sounds like your issue may just be with commitment. But I could be wrong there.
For that 3 year relationship with that girl did you ever... (read in full...)
Can skipping pills leave me at risk of pregnancy?
Q. Ive recently started the pill and have been really good untill this week, Ive missed 3 days of the pill, and today i had sex where he cum inside me, yeah i have taken the pill 2day as i remembered, but is there still a chance that i could get preg...
A. 9 April 2010: Yes, you must take the pill EVERY DAY. They recommend at LEAST one month or pill taking before having unprotected sex. If you miss a day then again you should wait a month (still taking your pill every day) till you have unprotected sex again.
... (read in full...)
Should I tell him now or at the prom that I really don't like him?
Q. This guy asked me to prom a few weeks ago now but I pretended that I'd promised to go with my friends. I really don't like this guy like that or in any way really but because as my friends say, I'm to nice for my own good I agreed to dance with him ...
A. 9 April 2010: Do it before the prom. You don't want to make a scene there and it'll just be easier. If you wait he'll think the entire time that you like him.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my online friend I have developed feelings for him?
Q. hi, i would really appreciate any advice you can give me as i'm stuck on what to do. i recently met a guy online, i didnt expect anything to happen as i live in ireland and he lives in scotland. for some reason we just clicked in every aspect, we ...
A. 9 April 2010: Depends on how long you've been talking to eachother. Has it been 2 weeks or 6 months?
I'd just start by telling him how much you missed him when he's gone. If he tells you he misses you to then there is a good chance he feels the same way abou... (read in full...)
My friend is dating the guy that I liked first and I'm having a hard time dealing with it!
Q. hi. ive liked this guy for a really long time, but within a couple of weeks of telling my bestfriend, she says she likes him too. Then, my bestfriend got his email and started talking to him alot on msn. she made us both promise that we would never ...
A. 9 April 2010: Ask him out. She's obviously not letting your friendship stop her so don't worry about it. If you like him, ask him out.... (read in full...)
2nd cousin and I got close but then things got weird. Now what?
Q. please no people saying ewwwwwww gross incest or anything like that...ok so my second cousin (my dad's cousin's son) and i met last year for the first time when i went on holiday to canada..he lives in new york and i live in the uk so we didn't grow ...
A. 9 April 2010: You both have a crush on eachother but feel awkward about it. Also, you both are worried about scaring away the other person because you feel that other person will be offended or find it weird. He most likely feels guilty about having feelings ... (read in full...)
Can you love 2 people at the same time?
Q. my ex left me for another girl 8 months ago yet we've still remained in touch. he says he still loves me and would like to think we'll get back together some day. he also admits that he loves her and doesnt know what to do. What's he playing at? You ...
A. 9 April 2010: Can you love two people at the same time? Yes
Should you be with someone who loves two people at the same time? No
Run away. He can't commit so you don't want him.... (read in full...)
16-17 year old girl likes 14-15 year old guy?
Q. Right, I'm not sure if this is a typical occurance, but I haven't been able to find any questions or answers on this topic on here yet. Basically, I have a crush on a younger guy. I have been away for a week on an adventurous training trip, and you ...
A. 9 April 2010: Don't let the age difference bother you. If you like him, be with him. There is nothing unusual or bad about your age difference.... (read in full...)
Does porn improve bj technique
Q. Ok this one is mostly for the guys.. I was wondering if watching people in porn (i don't just mean pornstars but "amateurs" too) give oral is a good place to pick up tips. What do you think? Would you encourage your gf to copy some of the more por...
A. 9 April 2010: Porn will help, but each man is different and each likes different things. You can get some pointers from porn but your boyfriend will have to tell you what he likes.
Word of advice: Use your hands while giving a blowjob. A lot of women don't kn... (read in full...)
Did she just reject me?
Q. She said "Ur Crazy" I said "Crazy about you" She said "You are mistaken" I said "LOl. It's true. I am" The she said, "Oops your mistaken again." I said "Lol. Ok I am MISTAKEN!" She said, "I know. It's okay." I was trying to make the situatio...
A. 9 April 2010: If you are prepared to move on, then just be honest with her. Don't play games, and just confront her.
"I really like you, is there a chance we could be together romantically? If not, that is ok.... you are and will always be my good friend."... (read in full...)
Are men just 'wired' to want to sleep around?
Q. Sandra Bullock. Elin Woods. Shania Twain. Jennifer Aniston. Sienna Miller (both the cheater and the cheatee). Today's news brings information on Gabrielle Beauvouis (can't spell her name) also being cheated upon for 5 years. Kate fucking Gosselin. ...
A. 9 April 2010: Your question is a little more complicated then that. Are all men just wired to sleep around? No more than women are. Keep in mind, you NEVER hear about people NOT sleeping around. Like anything else, they just tell you about bad news because ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I am taken aback by my wife admitting how many people she has slept with?
Q. me and my wife are both 30 and been together for 12 months. we recently did the "how many people have you slept with" conversation and she confessed to sleeping with 36 people, mine is 12. am i wrong to feel slightly taken aback by her sleeping with ...
A. 9 April 2010: Is it wrong for you to be taken back? No. That seems like a somewhat higher number in my opinion.
Does it need to effect your relationship or how much you love her? No. She's with you now and that's all that matters.
Give it some time to ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my husband, but I don't want to hurt the 'online guy' by telling him I am actually married either.
Q. i'm 23 years old and married for 2 years now, recently me and my husband has been addicted to this online game, we haven't really have time for each other anymore, we don't go out like we used to. Well, I met this guy from an online game, he was ...
A. 9 April 2010: You are cheating on your husband. If you continue with this other guy then you will only hurt your husband more because he WILL find out eventually. End it with this other guy, regardless of his feelings.
My suggestion is to talk to your hus... (read in full...)
| *immD's friends
These are mutual friends, so *immD has
added them and they have added *immD!
|
