Like what
he writes?
... Add *immD to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *immD a private message | | | *immD's profile:Any advice I give should not be taken personally. I'm not here to judge you, so you can be sure any advice I give is strictly objective. What you choose to do with my advice is completely up to you, though you can be sure the advice I am giving you is what I feel is best for you.
Please keep an open mind when asking for advice. It seems that many people aren't really looking for advice, they are just looking for justification to do what they already have in their mind to do. This site is about gaining an unbiased perspective on things. Please don't ask a question if you've already made your mind up on what to do.
Some things to remember:
- The "pullout" method is NOT a method of birth control. This is just something people do to rationalize their thoughts that sex without a condom feels better than it does with a condom. Even though a man doesn't climax, he still secretes fluid the entire time that has the potential to make you pregnant. Don't be a fool, if you are old enough and mature enough to have sex.... use birth control.
- There is no excuse for "revenge" sex. If your partner cheats on you, immediately going out to sleep with someone else as revenge doesn't make it right.... it makes things way worse. Relationships aren't about keeping score. If you believe they are, then you shouldn't be in one.
- Relationships rarely end easily. Especially long term relationships. It is very common for one partner to breakup with the other and then continue to text them or call them. Many times sex can start again as well. Unfortunately, there was a reason you two broke up in the first place and odds are a cycle with start to where you start to spend more time together and eventually feel like you ARE together... only to break up again. So before you post those "He broke up with me but he still texts me!" questions, remember this.
- There are about 50 million posts here regarding porn. Please do a search prior to posting questions like "My boyfriend watches porn, what should I do?". This is a touchy subject here but my opinion on porn is that it's not a big deal - as long as it's not an addiction. To MOST men, watching porn is strictly a tool for masturbating. Those women are not the type men want to have relationships with. Ask and most men will tell you that as soon as they "do their deed" they shut it off. It's not like they watch it for any other purpose. From my experience, the women that have issues with porn have issues with their own self confidence and they are insecure. There are many women out there that are confident that they satisfy their men sexually and feel that their husband watching porn is harmless. However, don't get me wrong, there are times when a man is addicted to porn and will choose porn OVER sex with their partner. This is where porn is unhealthy. My point in all of this is if you are in what you consider to be a "perfect" relationship with a great guy who does anything and everything for you, there is no need to penalize him if he watches porn. If you STILL have a problem with it, try watching it with him. Make it a sexual experience for the both of you. Or, record yourself with him. You'd be surprised what that does for a relationship. |
|
| Latest articles: What you need to know about Online Dating
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 August 2010: First, let me start off by saying that online dating is not a bad thing. In todays age of technology and the internet, I think online dating is just as good if not better than simply meeting someone at a bar, pub or nightclub. When you meet ...
|
After months of no contact the ex sent a note. Should I respond?
Q. my ex and i had disagreements and broke up 6 months ago, i wrote him emails and called but he ignored me and didn't respond for the 3 months i tried to contact him. i finally quit trying to contact him, and then 3 months later he contacts me, but ...
A. 13 January 2011: He's manipulating you. He saying all of the things he needs to in order to create doubt in your mind. He's counting on you putting some blame on yourself and using your guilt in his favor.
It's sounds to me like you know you shouldn't be toget... (read in full...)
How judgmental are guys on the first date?
Q. Hello Guys, One of my friend gave my number to his cousin and sent to each other our pic and we liked each other and exchanged the numbers.. since one month we texted to each other and sometimes called.. he asked me to hand out twice but unfort...
A. 17 December 2010: Exactly, dirtball. "I will let you know" means: He will let you know. Texting him again before he texts you will only make things worse so you are just going to have to be patient. But here's the deal - if he never texts you it means he is not ... (read in full...)
How judgmental are guys on the first date?
Q. Hello Guys, One of my friend gave my number to his cousin and sent to each other our pic and we liked each other and exchanged the numbers.. since one month we texted to each other and sometimes called.. he asked me to hand out twice but unfort...
A. 17 December 2010: At this point you can't text him anymore. You have left it in his hands and if he wants to see you again he will let you know. Otherwise, if you keep texting him you are going to seem desperate and stalker-like which won't help you.
The simple f... (read in full...)
How judgmental are guys on the first date?
Q. Hello Guys, One of my friend gave my number to his cousin and sent to each other our pic and we liked each other and exchanged the numbers.. since one month we texted to each other and sometimes called.. he asked me to hand out twice but unfort...
A. 16 December 2010: What you don't say is just as important as what you do say on a date. Especially a first one. Body language is VERY important. It sounds like he sensed that you're mind was elsewhere and, like dirtball said, mixed messages are a big turnoff.
... (read in full...)
He says he's gay but, I think otherwise.
Q. there was a guy in my life before he told me he was gay but i didnt believe him, he was so nice to me and brought med out in his car he had this cool car with tinted windows but nothing happened between us but he is such a lovely guy was he telling ...
A. 16 December 2010: You have given us no examples as to why you think the is lying about being gay. Until then, there's not much we can do for you.... (read in full...)
Inappropriate PDA involving my husband and his cousin!
Q. i saw my 32 yr old husband allow his 20 yr old female cousin to sit on his lap and recently she came up to him and fixed his hair in the front plus remove lint out of his hair....plus whenever i talk to her she is only asking where he is....am i ...
A. 16 December 2010: What dirtball and petina1 is spot on. It may or may not be appropriate depending on the types of relationships his family is used to, however.... YOUR opinion is what matters most.... (read in full...)
Can sex or my penis size ruin my relationship?
Q. Hello everyone, I just started to go out with my girlfriend, and she seems like the greatest girl in the world except for one huge problem. At times she can be very sweet and caring and there are other times where she can be very judgmental. She ...
A. 16 December 2010: It's not the size of it, but it's how you use it. Yes, that is an over-used metaphor it it is completely true.
Good sex comes with experience and getting to know your partner both emotionally and physically. The honest truth is don't expect s... (read in full...)
Am I wasting time on my husband?
Q. It has been a month since I found out my husband was having an affair (he didn't tell me, I found out). After a lot of talking, I've taken him back (he agreed not to have anything to do with her again)and we have been to counselling and that seems ...
A. 16 December 2010: If a man cheats and is genuinely sorry for what he did, he wouldn't be mad at you for questioning whether he's still in contact with the other woman. The fact that he's mad at you means he still doesn't understand the severity of what he did. If ... (read in full...)
Why do guys do this...
Q. this is not a relationship related question...actually they are several questions. 1. why do guys find butts so attractive? 2. why do guys grow their nails long...that's just gross 3. why do guys seem incapable of thinking about anything but sex? ...
A. 16 December 2010: Most of your questions seem to stem from the stereotypical belief that ALL men are like that. I can assure you that this is not the case. Also, nationality and culture plays a big part in answer your questions. Things are different here in the US ... (read in full...)
I want him back but he does not believe in us anymore
Q. Hello . My boyfriend and I just broke up. Here is our story. I was married with a child when I met him. For 2 years we lived our love in the dark, and far from each others. He is my great love, and vis versa... Last August, I decided to finally ...
A. 16 December 2010: Unfortunately this is going to be hard for you to hear, and I doubt you will believe me at first... but it's the truth:
What you are involved in is a classic example of what people call "The grass is always greener over there" relation... (read in full...)
Is this weird? Are we doing it wrong?
Q. I really don't like being fingered. I don't like doing it to myself and I do not like my bf doing it to me either. Is this weird? Are we both doing it wrong? It's just a shame because it turns my bf on more than anything :/...
A. 16 December 2010: As dirtball said, everybody likes different things. It's not weird that you just may not like it. However, like everything else sex related, it takes time and experience to achieve maximum enjoyment. You have to learn to understand your body and ... (read in full...)
Men, would you date a girl with a tattoo?
Q. Not a relationship question and i'm quite sure its probably been asked before but was just wondering what guys think of girls with tattoos, not the big sleeves and manish tattoos just dainty ones and ones that have meaning to the individual? Would ...
A. 16 December 2010: To the anonymous replier below, the original poster was asking "Would you date them?". Like most things on here, judgements such as calling people "trash" are uncalled for and are NOT welcomed. You may not prefer someone with tattoos, and that's ... (read in full...)
Am I staying because I am in love or because I'm just comfortable?
Q. A lot of relationships where girls date a gamer, refer to the problem that he doesn't pay enough attention to the girl... but that is not my problem. He does pay attention to me, and if I do ask him to go somewhere or do something with me, he ...
A. 15 December 2010: I think you really need to think this through before you go ahead an move into this new place. Not only will you be moving with him, but you'll be moving in with is friends as well. The complicate things. It sounds like your boyfriend already has ... (read in full...)
After months of no contact the ex sent a note. Should I respond?
Q. my ex and i had disagreements and broke up 6 months ago, i wrote him emails and called but he ignored me and didn't respond for the 3 months i tried to contact him. i finally quit trying to contact him, and then 3 months later he contacts me, but ...
A. 15 December 2010: So let me get this straight.... you miss talking to a man and wonder if you can ever find someone else like him who is a liar and a cheater, a man who ignores your attempts at contact, and who won't apologize for what he did to you? Hmmmm.... I ... (read in full...)
Should I move in with my FWB?
Q. So I have been talking to this guy from work now for about three month, we kinda argreeded that it is a FWB relationship, but now we r taking about moving in with each other and still see other people. The problem is that I am falling for him and I ...
A. 15 December 2010: Moving in with him is a bad idea and you will only be setting yourself up for more trouble in the future. He has openly said he does not want to commit to you. And you have said you are falling for him. That means you two are in 2 totally ... (read in full...)
Husband does not find me sexy, feeling like I may end up cheating!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have always been a very faithful person I have never even thought of cheating in any of my relationships. Me and my husband got married about 6 months ago and for some reason I feel like I am going to cheat on him. I am trying...
A. 15 December 2010: You are scared that you are going to cheat on your husband because you WANT to cheat on your husband. Now, I'm not trying to make you out to be a bad person here... I'm just giving you the facts. You are not being honest with yourself (or you're ... (read in full...)
What did he mean by he realized he was shallow?
Q. yesterday was my boyfriends birthday, when we went to lunch he told me about the party he went to the night before to celebrate his birthday, i was unable to go. he was going on and on about all these funny sexual birthday cards he got. i bought him ...
A. 15 December 2010: It sounds like he feels what he said about you forgetting was shallow of him to say. I don't think he feels he's a shallow man in general, but regrets what he said. Him saying it didn't bother him is his way of supporting that he doesn't think ... (read in full...)
Sex with a younger guy? but not just any younger guy!
Q. My story is this: I am currently divorced from my second marriage. My first marriage was over in 2003. And I had a son and daughter and my husband had a son and daughter. So basically I had a step son and step daughter for a little ovr 6 yea...
A. 15 December 2010: I don't think there is anything wrong with being with him given the fact that you weren't really a mother to him, it was only a matter of circumstances. The biggest deciding factor in whether or not you continue being with him are the possible ... (read in full...)
I'm scared that I'm going insane staying with him! WHY am I still with him?
Q. Why the hell am i still in love with this guy 1. who never wants to marry me since im older to him 2. who breaks up with me whenver he feels that i am pressureing him for commitment and gets back after few days as if nothing hpnd 3. Never c...
A. 15 December 2010: He is a manipulator. And manipulators are attracted to people who are easily manipulated. Another word for manipulator is predator. And you are his prey. He knows how to manipulate you into doing what he wants. He is good at making you feel ... (read in full...)
Men, would you date a girl with a tattoo?
Q. Not a relationship question and i'm quite sure its probably been asked before but was just wondering what guys think of girls with tattoos, not the big sleeves and manish tattoos just dainty ones and ones that have meaning to the individual? Would ...
A. 14 December 2010: Small, easily hidden tattoos are harmless in my opinion. Generally, the bigger the tattoo and the location of the tattoo reflect the person's personality. I've known many people, both male and female who have tattoos and you'd never know it unless ... (read in full...)
I know he loves me, but he is not that attractive and it is becoming a problem....
Q. I am 20 years of age and my boyfriend is 23. I got to know him through a male friend of his who is also my friend. We've been together for the past one and half year. My problem is that, he is not all that handsome to me but a very caring,kind,From ...
A. 14 December 2010: For a relationship to work there must be a physical connection as well as an emotional connection. While looks aren't everything, I'm going have to disagree with Tante, unfortunately. You are already saying "but his looks is the problem for me..." ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my cousin I love her?
Q. I am 32 years old, and i belive i am in love with my cousin, she is 28 years old (she is my frist cousin) for the last year all i do is think about her. what should i do tell her or not....
A. 14 December 2010: First, let me ask you this: What do you expect from her? What if she tells you the same way? Do you want a full, normal relationship with her as boyfriend and girlfriend? Marriage? Children? How would the rest of the family react? Friends?
... (read in full...)
Gave an ultimatum and he counter offered?
Q. I told my husband that I do not like that he text other girls and flirts with them thru texting. He claims that he understands and that the flirting is wrong and will no longer do that. However he is not going to stop texting them and he deletes ...
A. 14 December 2010: What is being said in those texts isn't as important as the fact that he acknowledges the fact that the texts bother you yet he's still unwilling to stop them. He's essentially saying THEY are more important than you are. To me that seems like a ... (read in full...)
Help! I think I'm falling out of love with my husband!
Q. I have been married for 3 years. After 5 years of dating I became pregnant with our first child. We got married while I was pregnant and had another child shortly thereafter. We now have 2 kids under 5. Before we had children we both liked to...
A. 13 December 2010: Your options are limited. He's got an addiction. He's got a drug problem. People who are addiction or having drug problems don't THINK they have a problem... that's part of the addiction. And it's destroying your family. He needs to quit. ... (read in full...)
He has stopped taking me seriously even though he has had a whole year to see the real me....
Q. hi im a swinger and a round a year ago i met another swinger we both became more attached than usual and started having a serious relationship, he didnt know i was a swinger i never told him. anyways recently i told him and since then his attitude ...
A. 13 December 2010: Have you tried having an honest and open conversation about it? Tell him that you feel his feelings towards you have changed and you want him to be more than just another swinger relationship.... (read in full...)
Torn... who do I choose?
Q. The problem is I am in a happy relationship but I am in love with a colleague as well. My partner and I have a lot of history we dated 5 years ago but I left him as I wasn't ready to settle down. In April we reunited and I fell head over heels in...
A. 13 December 2010: It sounds like you may have some deeper issues you have to deal with first. Your current partner you have broken up with twice and yet you still are back with him. How many times can you end it with him? You have already stated he doesn't want ... (read in full...)
I'm worried that if I keep texting him he'll think I'm a stalker!
Q. 3 nights ago I slept with a guy I met in a bar. Its the first time ive ever had a 'one night stand' sort of thing. Anyway, he asked for my number in the morning and we were texting for the next couple of days, but now he's stopped replying to my ...
A. 13 December 2010: I agree with eyeswideopen.... (read in full...)
Is my fiancee cheating with his co-worker?
Q. Well,I just got engaged and my fiancee has been acting strange. I usually pick him up from work and everyday all he talks about is his female co-worker. He apparently talks to her about everything, even the problems in our relationship. Apparently, ...
A. 13 December 2010: He may not be cheating, but it could eventually lead to that. His relationship with her is definitely inappropriate. Even if he isn't cheating, he should be respectful to your feelings. It shouldn't be an argument. If the situation was reversed ... (read in full...)
Are there a lot of people who are open-minded where sex is concerned?
Q. I was just wondering.. are there lots of people who are quite open-minded when it comes to sex? I've only had one boyfriend before, we were together for a few months but never had sex (I wanted to wait before I lost my virginity to him but we en...
A. 13 December 2010: There's no easy "yes or no" answer to your question. There are many people out there who are open minded to sex, but there are an equal amount of people who are more reserved or have ideas on what is "too much" when it comes to sex. To some ... (read in full...)
Do you get more pimples when you don't have Sex?
Q. Do you get more Pimples when you dont have Sex?? Because i notice this big change in my face pores when i dont have Sex and then right after i do my face completly changes....
A. 13 December 2010: I don't think there is any direction connection between sex and pimples.
Indirectly, though, stress has been known to cause breakouts of pimples and technically sex could be a form of stress relief. Though, I don't think you would see an immediat... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's sister tried to kiss me!
Q. Last week I was shocked to find my girlfriends' sister trying it on with me! I'm 22 and live with my girlfriend, who is 23 and her sister is only 16. My girlfriends whole family came to stay at our house as we live quite far apart and one day I ...
A. 13 December 2010: Tell your girlfriend. The longer you wait, the longer it looks like you are trying to keep it a secret or hiding something. Yes, it will most likely cause trouble in the family, but the sister has brought it on herself. My suggestion would be to ... (read in full...)
Having an affair and torn between my love and my husband!
Q. Hi, I am a married woman(33yrs)and i am having an affair for the last 1 year with a single man (31yrs) My husband( 55yrs) and i have a daughter together(3 yrs) and been together for 8 yrs. My affair started whn my husband wanted to divorce me aft...
A. 10 December 2010: I'd say that your marriage has been broken for a while now. There is no trust on either side and it sounds like both of you want different things from life. At this point, why would you stay together?... (read in full...)
Why do guys like anal sex with women?
Q. Why do guys like anal sex with women? Is it because it feels different or a bit "dirty?"...
A. 9 December 2010: doublejack hit the nail on the head.... (read in full...)
My wife has feelings for a much younger "friend".
Q. Dear Cupid, how is everyone doing. I am a happily married man with a sitaution. My wife has admitted to me that she had an affair with a younger man and said that she was falling in love with him. But the whole time, she said that she never fell ...
A. 9 December 2010: She betrayed your trust and your marriage. No, you're not just being jealous... you have every right to. She committed to you when she agreed to marry you, and she broke that commitment. The next move is hers. She has to make a decision. She ... (read in full...)
How do I make a straight guy love me?
Q. what do i have to do ??? i am a 16 years old guy,i am a gay and i really love a guy in my school. unfortunately he is straight he is even horny and pervert when it comes to girls...... the problem that i think that he hates me...he only calls m...
A. 9 December 2010: I understand this is a very difficult situation for you given your country and your culture, but unfortunately you cannot "make" a straight guy love you. In cultures such as the United States, people are becoming more and more understanding when it ... (read in full...)
I don't think I've had an orgasm?
Q. i am a girl. i hava had sex and ofcourse it always feels good. but i dont kno what an orgasm is or whats the feeling of it ? how do i know when i am having an orgasm...
A. 8 December 2010: There's no other way to say it:
When you have an orgasm, you will know. If you don't know if you've had an orgasm then you most likely have not.
Do you ever masturbate? Many women have an easier time reaching an orgasm while masturbating.... (read in full...)
My ex is 23 and dating a highschooler, what's the matter with her?
Q. She's 23. We shared 5 years of love, then she left me one week after she met this 17-year-old guy. To this day I'm not completely sure why. My guess is that he just was available for her (they're like neighbours) and I wasn't, because I had be...
A. 7 December 2010: Unfortunately, there is no magic answer here. There are a million reasons why she is doing what she is doing. But the fact is what she is doing is no longer your business. I know you care about her and only want was is best for her, but sometimes ... (read in full...)
What kind of players are prowling around on plentyoffish.com?
Q. Met a man on plenty off fish. We hit it off instantly.. The first couple of days after our first meeting was texting all day - phone calls even made time to sneaky a quick kiss.... We have seen each other several times in the short month we've know...
A. 7 December 2010: Plentyoffish.com is one of the top sites used for what guys call "increasing your numbers" when it comes to sexual partners. Now, I'm not saying there are no good, legitimate men on there... but I can tell you there are a number of books out there ... (read in full...)
He always enjoys the sex but I don't!
Q. i have a problem, and i dont know what to do about it.... my boyfriend and i... ugh im not pleasured by our sex... BUT HE ALWAYS IS. i dont know how to tell him that im not because i dont want to make him do something he doesnt want too. but its ...
A. 7 December 2010: On average, sex isn't automatically good. For good sex you and your partner need to get to know each other and need to get used to each other. Everybody has different things that turn them on or feel good to them. Everybody is not the same. Both ... (read in full...)
Secrets to a successful LDR, anyone care to share tips?
Q. How do you maintain the spark in a LDR? I mean...if you don't get to meet often...how long can you survive and overcome the physical longing and loneliness?...
A. 2 December 2010: This is going to sound sarcastic or like I'm not trying to be serious here, but believe me I am. The only way a long distance relationship will work is if it is no longer long distance. Relationships require BOTH a physical connection and an ... (read in full...)
What's with this threesome double standard?
Q. My boyfriend told me he'd like to try a threesome. I told him I'd do it but that I'd also like a threesome but with another guy. He went from totally enthusiastic that I said yes to furious. I told him I didn't want him to do anything with the other ...
A. 1 December 2010: Threesomes are a bad idea. This is a perfect example as to why. Not only does the idea of having sex with another girl turn him on, but having you there does also.
This isn't a common double standard that all men have. What your boyfrien... (read in full...)
In love after three days???
Q. i went for holiday for 1 week .. and i meet one guy .. we have fun and went out for a drink all the time after that 3 days pass he told me he loves me .. and he wants to marry me .. do i need to belive it ?.. cos for me love is not for just in 3 ...
A. 30 November 2010: Run away. He's bad news. Nobody should be telling you they love you or want to marry you after 3 days.
Seriously, move on and away from him.... (read in full...)
How do I give a great blow job?
Q. Hey guys listen up! i wanna know how to give an amazing blow job. i don't know why but i feel like my boyfriend really misses them and i want to give him cause i haven't gone down on him in like 6 months and im afraid i might be a little rusty. so ...
A. 24 November 2010: ***USE YOUR HANDS***
Lots of girls think that using your hands are cheating. It's not. Hands are good.
- Keep it wet and slippery down there
- You don't have to suck as hard as you can
- Glide over the penis with your mouth and hands
- ... (read in full...)
He told me he doesn't enjoy receiving oral sex from me!!
Q. I am seeing my current boyfriend for just over 1 year . he has recently told me that he doesn't enjoy receiving oral sex from me as I am not very good at it in fact I am quite bad at it and it doesn't do any thing for him . Now I enjoy oral sex as ...
A. 24 November 2010: I agree with Dirtball, your guy doesn't sound very compassionate. However, here is the deal:
It is not unusual for a man to not enjoy oral sex from his partner. Oral sex TAKES 2. Yes, you are the one performing it, but every guy out there is... (read in full...)
| *immD's friends
These are mutual friends, so *immD has
added them and they have added *immD!
|
