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... Send *immD a private message | | | *immD's profile:Any advice I give should not be taken personally. I'm not here to judge you, so you can be sure any advice I give is strictly objective. What you choose to do with my advice is completely up to you, though you can be sure the advice I am giving you is what I feel is best for you.
Please keep an open mind when asking for advice. It seems that many people aren't really looking for advice, they are just looking for justification to do what they already have in their mind to do. This site is about gaining an unbiased perspective on things. Please don't ask a question if you've already made your mind up on what to do.
Some things to remember:
- The "pullout" method is NOT a method of birth control. This is just something people do to rationalize their thoughts that sex without a condom feels better than it does with a condom. Even though a man doesn't climax, he still secretes fluid the entire time that has the potential to make you pregnant. Don't be a fool, if you are old enough and mature enough to have sex.... use birth control.
- There is no excuse for "revenge" sex. If your partner cheats on you, immediately going out to sleep with someone else as revenge doesn't make it right.... it makes things way worse. Relationships aren't about keeping score. If you believe they are, then you shouldn't be in one.
- Relationships rarely end easily. Especially long term relationships. It is very common for one partner to breakup with the other and then continue to text them or call them. Many times sex can start again as well. Unfortunately, there was a reason you two broke up in the first place and odds are a cycle with start to where you start to spend more time together and eventually feel like you ARE together... only to break up again. So before you post those "He broke up with me but he still texts me!" questions, remember this.
- There are about 50 million posts here regarding porn. Please do a search prior to posting questions like "My boyfriend watches porn, what should I do?". This is a touchy subject here but my opinion on porn is that it's not a big deal - as long as it's not an addiction. To MOST men, watching porn is strictly a tool for masturbating. Those women are not the type men want to have relationships with. Ask and most men will tell you that as soon as they "do their deed" they shut it off. It's not like they watch it for any other purpose. From my experience, the women that have issues with porn have issues with their own self confidence and they are insecure. There are many women out there that are confident that they satisfy their men sexually and feel that their husband watching porn is harmless. However, don't get me wrong, there are times when a man is addicted to porn and will choose porn OVER sex with their partner. This is where porn is unhealthy. My point in all of this is if you are in what you consider to be a "perfect" relationship with a great guy who does anything and everything for you, there is no need to penalize him if he watches porn. If you STILL have a problem with it, try watching it with him. Make it a sexual experience for the both of you. Or, record yourself with him. You'd be surprised what that does for a relationship. |
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| Latest articles: What you need to know about Online Dating
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 August 2010: First, let me start off by saying that online dating is not a bad thing. In todays age of technology and the internet, I think online dating is just as good if not better than simply meeting someone at a bar, pub or nightclub. When you meet ...
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Am I wrong for wanting to know??
Q. OP's own title: Ok so to it keep short...my husband has never really trusted me due to me cheating on him before we got married. We've been married 9yrs now and I have been faithful. Recently he told me that a source of his told him that I have ...
A. 29 July 2010: He's already cheated on you in the past as "payback"? Ok, now more things are coming out. Honestly? Your marriage is in trouble. Cheating is one thing. You made a mistake before, fine. But to cheat as payback? That is incredibly unhealthy for ... (read in full...)
He said " I love you" so soon! Does he really love me?
Q. Before I ask this question I would just like to say - YES , I do really how stupid it is...but events leading up to this has caused me some serious paranoia. I need to sort my head out. I understand this is ridiculous but seriously just go with it, ...
A. 28 July 2010: It is WAY too soon for him to say I love you. At this point, he is confusing lust for love. He's moving too fast and this is definitely cause for concern. Be extremely cautious and do not tell him that you love him again unless you are 100% sure. ... (read in full...)
So confused and don't know where to go from here. I'm tired of putting in all the effort!
Q. So you get an idea of what's going on without having to go back and read my other posts, my husband is in the army and deployed for 15 months less than a year ago. He was really cold and distant from me and I couldn't handle it. I had a guy friend ...
A. 28 July 2010: I'm going to have to side with CaringGuy on this one. There are too many factors working against you right now. I have all of the respect for our men and women in the service, but them being enlisted effects not just them but the people around ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting to know??
Q. OP's own title: Ok so to it keep short...my husband has never really trusted me due to me cheating on him before we got married. We've been married 9yrs now and I have been faithful. Recently he told me that a source of his told him that I have ...
A. 28 July 2010: Of course you have the right to know. Our society is built on "Innocent until proven guilty" so you should at least have a chance to defend yourself. Yes, you cheated before you were married and that eliminates giving you the benefit of the ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me saying she's going back to her ex for everyone else, not herself
Q. im 31 and met a girl of 23, she was with someone who she has 2 kids with, i never felt happy about seing her but she was very insistent as i felt guilty for what we was doing, it was a case for the first 2-3 weeks that we would meet every other ...
A. 28 July 2010: Sorry, I forgot you said the kids are with her at her Aunt & Uncles.
I think if you love her then you just need to give her some space. Pressuring her isn't going to help, in fact it may just make her feel worse. She has some things to work out... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend and her past worth turning into a serious relationship?
Q. I have been dating this girl for a few months. She is 23 I am 24 She is first real girlfriend Ive had since I was 19 which was a relationship that ended badly. She also has not a boy friend since high school. We love each other, and I dont think I ...
A. 28 July 2010: It's simple: Get over it. What bothers you more? The fact that she had sex the way she did or the fact that you've gotta live with the idea of your mutual friend forever being able to claim that he had sex with your girl?
If you really love her... (read in full...)
She broke up with me saying she's going back to her ex for everyone else, not herself
Q. im 31 and met a girl of 23, she was with someone who she has 2 kids with, i never felt happy about seing her but she was very insistent as i felt guilty for what we was doing, it was a case for the first 2-3 weeks that we would meet every other ...
A. 28 July 2010: This girl has some SERIOUS issues. Halfway through reading your latest post I was thinking to myself "This girl has too much stuff going on with kids, job, no house, you, the family - she just needs to take a break and simplify things in her life ... (read in full...)
I was betrayed and now I'm not sexually attracted to him ...
Q. Hi all. My boyfriend and I dated last year, broke up in December, stayed sleeping together, and got back officially early this year. During the time we were broken up, we were still constantly sleeping with each other and still spending time ...
A. 28 July 2010: Your relationship with him sounds very complicated. To be "broken up" and then "not broken up" but having sex and spending time together the entire time? It sounds like the tension and the excitement of having sex during all of that time may have ... (read in full...)
Can a leopard really change its spots?
Q. My girlfriend and I have a very honest relationship. She is several years younger than I, she is 38. She was married for 10 years, cheated on her hubby and they divorced. She carried on with her lover for 7 years until his divorce was final, t...
A. 27 July 2010: You'll drive yourself crazy constantly wondering if she's changed or not. In the end all you can do is look at how she's acted since she's been with you. Base your opinion on the relationship as you know it. Odds are those relationships in the ... (read in full...)
Should I marry someone who betrayed me like this?
Q. I recently found out that my boyfriend cheated on me 1 time. We've been dating for nearly 5 years, and we recently got engaged. I found out that a year ago he slept with this girl, after major flirting went on between them for a few months (i.e., ...
A. 27 July 2010: Don't marry him.... (read in full...)
Very confused....been married for 10 years and my wife cheated!
Q. Hello everyone....I've been married for 10 years but dated my wife for 2 years prior to getting married...so all together have been with her 12 years. We have 2 wonderful boys 6 and 4. About 3 months ago I found out my wife had been seeing a man who ...
A. 27 July 2010: It's always easier said then done, unfortunately. And every situation is different. In times like these I recommend trying not to over complicate things. You can spend every waking hour each day trying to figure out what to do but there is no ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend pays a lot of attention to our roommate!
Q. My boyfriend and I live together with two other roommates. Whenever the female roommate is around, he gets excited because she is usually at her boyfriend's house. He always tries going by her room to initiate conversation with her. Also, if it is ...
A. 26 July 2010: This all falls onto your boyfriend. Nobody should have to change the way they act around him for fear of enticing him to cheat. Meaning the line he gave blaming her for wearing revealing clothing is crap. It's not her fault he's taking an ... (read in full...)
Very confused....been married for 10 years and my wife cheated!
Q. Hello everyone....I've been married for 10 years but dated my wife for 2 years prior to getting married...so all together have been with her 12 years. We have 2 wonderful boys 6 and 4. About 3 months ago I found out my wife had been seeing a man who ...
A. 26 July 2010: Question: How did you find out about her cheating? Did she just break down and tell you finally or did you more or less "catch" her with the rug burn or anything else?
My point is if she told you without and pushing from you, ok maybe she feel... (read in full...)
Got drunk, had a threesome and now scared I'm pregnant and only 15!
Q. Im 15 and well i got a bit drunk at a friends house party and well one thing led 2 another with these 2 guys and we ended up having a 3sum and we didnt use any protection and i know i shoud of but i wasent thinkin straight The thing is im 2 days l...
A. 23 July 2010: Well said DrPsych.... (read in full...)
Very confused....been married for 10 years and my wife cheated!
Q. Hello everyone....I've been married for 10 years but dated my wife for 2 years prior to getting married...so all together have been with her 12 years. We have 2 wonderful boys 6 and 4. About 3 months ago I found out my wife had been seeing a man who ...
A. 23 July 2010: Yeah, this just keeps getting more and more premeditated. This wasn't a one time (serious) lapse in judgment, this was an affair. To smile that much in front of you?
At this point, all I'm gonna say is that you're a Saint if you let her come bac... (read in full...)
Bi-curious and not sure what to do
Q. I am a completely straight guy, but lately I have become curious about being with a man. Specifically, a well hung man. Nothing romantic, just sexual. I feel totally wierd by this, and I'm not sure where this sudden emotion came from. When I was ...
A. 23 July 2010: Sorry, friend... but you are describing bi-curious thoughts. It's ok, there's nothing wrong with that... but if you are interested in another man's penis then it's a little more than envy. Gay males spend years in denial, and while I'm not saying ... (read in full...)
Can infatuation lead to love? Beautiful experience with a prostitute.
Q. I had sex with a really gorgeous prostitute.There was a sexual connection of some sort that I never felt before with any other girl or prostitute. I had slept with a reasonable amount of them. It was almost a divine experience. She had 3 orgasm with ...
A. 23 July 2010: Men fall in love with prostitutes all of the time. It goes with the business. And prostitutes all have their own "good" customers. Sometimes they'll give freebees, or do "extra" things. Think of them as really good sales people. Not only that, ... (read in full...)
Very confused....been married for 10 years and my wife cheated!
Q. Hello everyone....I've been married for 10 years but dated my wife for 2 years prior to getting married...so all together have been with her 12 years. We have 2 wonderful boys 6 and 4. About 3 months ago I found out my wife had been seeing a man who ...
A. 23 July 2010: There is no right or wrong answer here, unfortunately. What she did is absolutely un-excusable. Having an affair is bad enough, but having sex in your house with your children in the house, in your bedroom? Wow. She lost your trust, and quite ... (read in full...)
Will she ever end her unhealthy relationship to be with me?
Q. Here goes. I'm in love with this 19 year old girl for 2 and the half years already. She is in a relationship for 5 years with her bf and her relationship is unhealthy because she broke up and patched back many times and always fights with her bf and ...
A. 23 July 2010: No. She will not end her relationship with this guy. If she truly loved you she would have ended it to be with you already. She may care about you, but no matter what excuses she makes up - she still loves him more.
This is very common. ... (read in full...)
What does double penetration mean?
Q. "OP Own Title" what does double penetration mean? Does it mean to have sex with 2 guys or to have anal and vaginal sex at the same time using your finger or a vibrator? I'm a bit confused....
A. 23 July 2010: Swinging is having sex with other couples. Meaning: You and your partner meet up with another partner and have sex with eachother (you with the other man, your partner with the other woman). Swinging is also not limited to just 2 pairs. There are ... (read in full...)
How can I get to know my father?
Q. I am 44 years old and my mother just now telling me who my father is. The only thing she knows about him is his first name and what he owned. Before i leave this earth I would love to know my father....
A. 23 July 2010: If that is all of the information that you have, then hiring a private investigator might be the best way to find him.... (read in full...)
Need suggestions regarding my marriage, he had an affair and I need help here??
Q. I am with my husband for 9 years of my life, he was my first love and everything else and I am first also. We have been married for 4 years and we have a daughter together. I have been with my husband thru thick and thin especially when ...
A. 23 July 2010: You had those "gut" feelings for a reason. You knew he was cheating on you, you were just in denial.
I know this is going to sound harsh of me to say, but your marriage is over. The main reason I say that is because you said he gets mad whenever... (read in full...)
How can I have sex with a girl without a condom and not get her pregnant?
Q. How can you have sex with a girl with out a condom, but have sex like putting it in and out with out getting her pregnant? ...
A. 22 July 2010: There are other forms of contraceptives out there including the pill, but those other forms are for the female. Meaning: SHE must be the one to take responsibility and use the birth control. Therefore it must be someone you trust completely ... (read in full...)
Lied to a woman about my age. - 16 dating a 24 year old.
Q. I feel like an idiot. I'm 16 years old and I'm dating someone who's 24. Though, when we met.. I lied about my age and said I was 20. She believes it too because I look and sound 20. We haven't been going out very long, a month at the mos...
A. 22 July 2010: You need to tell her. You are right, the longer it goes the worse it will be. As much as you value your relationship and think it's strong... it's built on a lie. I'm not going to get into the legal aspect of things because that is another ... (read in full...)
Can you have sex with a person for a long time and not feel anything?
Q. ? 4 men! Can u really have sex with Some1 4 a long period of time and Amd not have any feelings 4 them?? Whn u have sex with the 3or more times A week and the sex is the best??...
A. 21 July 2010: Yes, it is possible for man to have sex with a woman and not have feelings for her. This includes long term sex - weeks, months, etc.
But when this happens it means the man is just using the woman for sex, which is in my opinion wrong to do.... (read in full...)
What did I do?
Q. "Op Own Title" Just want to start off by saying this is a fabulous website thanks to all that make it that way... the first thing I need to say is I have told this girl I like how I feel she knows we are just friends and I said and stand my thi...
A. 21 July 2010: I don't understand. Do you have romantic feelings for her or not? If you do like her more than just a friend, then you should tell her. There is a good chance she feels the same way if she's having this conversation with you and asking if those ... (read in full...)
Trust is broken by myself towards my bridesmaid/best friend
Q. "OP Own Title" trust is broken by myself towards my bridesmaid/best friend. I have none to blame but myself. I'm not out for sympathy or anything because I don't want it or deserve it. my best friend who is also my bridesmaid and who I have kno...
A. 21 July 2010: I don't think we have to make her feel any worse by yelling at her or reprimanding her. She's admitted she's at fault and at this point she's just looking for ways to rectify the situation.
Unfortunately you are just going to have to be patient.... (read in full...)
How can I stop watching hogtied porn?
Q. Hi guys i feel so ashamed of myself, is beacuse i always watch porn and i mean not any. i like to watch bondage and hogtied which it makes me feel like doing it and i like to see the girls going through the pain. how can i stop watching hogtied...
A. 21 July 2010: Everybody has certain fetishes. As long as it's nothing illegal and nobody gets hurt, you probably shouldn't worry.... (read in full...)
What does double penetration mean?
Q. "OP Own Title" what does double penetration mean? Does it mean to have sex with 2 guys or to have anal and vaginal sex at the same time using your finger or a vibrator? I'm a bit confused....
A. 21 July 2010: Double penetration can also be 1 in pussy and 1 in mouth. Why are you asking? Is this something your partner wants to do with you?... (read in full...)
What does double penetration mean?
Q. "OP Own Title" what does double penetration mean? Does it mean to have sex with 2 guys or to have anal and vaginal sex at the same time using your finger or a vibrator? I'm a bit confused....
A. 21 July 2010: Well, in pornos double penetration refers to 2 men and 1 woman at the same time. With amateurs it could be referring to two objects, but generally... it refers to 2 guys.... (read in full...)
How to figure out the right path after separating with ex
Q. "OP Own Title" My ex and I broke up several months ago. We were together for several years. It was an awful breakup and she was very hurt and angry. She said that she doesn’t love me anymore and now doesn’t even want to be friends. She wont speak ...
A. 20 July 2010: Keep it simple. If you think too much you're going to confuse and upset yourself. You broke up with your ex so you're better off just letting her go. Her anger and needing to distance herself is her way of getting over you. If you try to rehash ... (read in full...)
Are married women basically all disloyal, cheaters at heart, ready to do whatever it takes for male attention?
Q. Why do so many married women cheat? I don't know if this is just a function of where I live (Southern California), but it seems like the majority of women I know well have cheated at some point on their husbands. These range from a few women who ...
A. 20 July 2010: It's the area and the type of people you are around. Women are no more prone to cheat than men are. In fact, I'd say men are more likely to cheat on women as a whole. But in the end I believe it comes down to upbringing and society (more ... (read in full...)
Is there any way for me to make it taste better when she goes down on me?
Q. Hi, I've been with my girlfriend 9 months and she will not let me cum during oral - the slightest taste of pre-cum and she makes me put something on. It really annoys me as I regularly spend 30 plus minutes going down on her before sex, as she love...
A. 20 July 2010: Flavored lube will help mask it somewhat, but the taste will still be there somewhat. Cinnamon helps with the taste of your sperm. I'm not saying it'll taste like sugar or anything, but I've been told it definitely changes the taste enough to the ... (read in full...)
How much could looks affect you being able to get a date?
Q. I dont want this to come across vain or wrong as this is not my intention nor what I am like. But I need to figure this out so I will word it the best I can. I am a successful fashion model - soceity regards me as being "attractive". I do not ...
A. 20 July 2010: Hmmmmm. Why no online dating? Like it or not, your looks are going to influence many things in your life. Some good, some bad. When it comes to incredibly beautiful women, guys are intimidated. Especially the good guys. As you have learned, ... (read in full...)
Did he really lose my number???
Q. I decided to reconnect with some of my old friends and a guy called george and i decided to go out in the summer ... we werent that close but he is really sweet. we spoke on the phone and we started texting every day but then the text got flirty ...
A. 20 July 2010: Guys will never lose numbers to girls they really like or want. I think he's trying to tell you something by playing dumb and not answering you back....... (read in full...)
I just cannot stay away from him, he is the best I ever had and is very well endowed!!
Q. Ok so me and my ex-bf are still having sex!! We broke up in 2002 and we still have sex on the REGULAR I mean 3 or more times a week! Problem is me and him both are in relationship with other people now, but we both still love each other a lot and ...
A. 20 July 2010: You already know what you are doing is wrong. You are cheating. And you already know how to fix it, you either end it with your ex or you end it with your new partner. However, knowing all of this you still choose to be selfish.
My advice? ... (read in full...)
She won't have sex till she knows me better?
Q. Hello just a quick question, what does it mean when a girl says that she won't have sex with me untill she knows me better? does this imply she's after something deeper then just a 'one night of naughtiness?' or does it mean something else?...
A. 19 July 2010: When a girl says that it means she's a good girl and she's NOT easy. Respect her or leave her alone, in my opinion.... (read in full...)
FWB relationship but now I've fallen for his brother!
Q. I am in a tricky situation. I was seeing this one guy but we weren't romantically involved it was basically a friend with benefit type of situation. We never went out or talked much, only when we wanted to see each other. Well a month ago I started ...
A. 19 July 2010: Well, if you were truly just friends with benefits it shouldn't bother him.
Unfortunately, when you are dealing with brothers it gets more complicated. I'm surprised the brother you want a relationship with is ok with this, because often brothers... (read in full...)
He's so wonderful but he's not fulfilling my needs!
Q. So, about a year and a half ago my husband passed away in a tragic accident, I was left with three young children (FYI-I was 34 at the time). I panicked and quickly dated out of fear of the "unknown", and I wanted to put the pieces back together, so ...
A. 19 July 2010: First, let me just say I'm sorry for your loss. I know it has to be very difficult for you.
Second, I think you really need to SLOW down. No disrespect intended, but losing your husband is not like losing a pet. You shouldn't be rushing ... (read in full...)
He may propose..am I ready?
Q. "OP Own Title" I love my boyfriend and I think he wants to propose soon. I am struggling with a huge issue though. I feel very uneasy about the fact that we live 24hrs drive away from my friends and family. I have no support system here. I am ...
A. 19 July 2010: Marriage is about more than just love. Couples have to discuss many things including finances, whether or not your having children, how you will raise those children (which beliefs/religion), as well as where you will live, etc. It's not just ... (read in full...)
I find this strange but also erotic what should I do?
Q. my sister moved back to my house, not working just lazing around the house. she loves watching porno, we don't have any kids, but sometimes i come home from work early and she is masterbating. I find this strange but also erotic. what should I ...
A. 19 July 2010: He hasn't said he strongly objects to her doing this.
If she continues to do it, then it obviously doesn't bother her enough to stop. And so if it doesn't really bother you, then don't do anything. Now of course if you're bothered by it or you h... (read in full...)
She broke up with me saying she's going back to her ex for everyone else, not herself
Q. im 31 and met a girl of 23, she was with someone who she has 2 kids with, i never felt happy about seing her but she was very insistent as i felt guilty for what we was doing, it was a case for the first 2-3 weeks that we would meet every other ...
A. 8 July 2010: If this was the standard "on again, off again" relationship I would agree to cut ties. But this is a bit different. Unfortunately you are in a tough position anyway. And the only thing I can suggest is taking a step back and trying to separate ... (read in full...)
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