Like what
he writes?
... Add *immD to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *immD a private message | | | *immD's profile:Any advice I give should not be taken personally. I'm not here to judge you, so you can be sure any advice I give is strictly objective. What you choose to do with my advice is completely up to you, though you can be sure the advice I am giving you is what I feel is best for you.
Please keep an open mind when asking for advice. It seems that many people aren't really looking for advice, they are just looking for justification to do what they already have in their mind to do. This site is about gaining an unbiased perspective on things. Please don't ask a question if you've already made your mind up on what to do.
Some things to remember:
- The "pullout" method is NOT a method of birth control. This is just something people do to rationalize their thoughts that sex without a condom feels better than it does with a condom. Even though a man doesn't climax, he still secretes fluid the entire time that has the potential to make you pregnant. Don't be a fool, if you are old enough and mature enough to have sex.... use birth control.
- There is no excuse for "revenge" sex. If your partner cheats on you, immediately going out to sleep with someone else as revenge doesn't make it right.... it makes things way worse. Relationships aren't about keeping score. If you believe they are, then you shouldn't be in one.
- Relationships rarely end easily. Especially long term relationships. It is very common for one partner to breakup with the other and then continue to text them or call them. Many times sex can start again as well. Unfortunately, there was a reason you two broke up in the first place and odds are a cycle with start to where you start to spend more time together and eventually feel like you ARE together... only to break up again. So before you post those "He broke up with me but he still texts me!" questions, remember this.
- There are about 50 million posts here regarding porn. Please do a search prior to posting questions like "My boyfriend watches porn, what should I do?". This is a touchy subject here but my opinion on porn is that it's not a big deal - as long as it's not an addiction. To MOST men, watching porn is strictly a tool for masturbating. Those women are not the type men want to have relationships with. Ask and most men will tell you that as soon as they "do their deed" they shut it off. It's not like they watch it for any other purpose. From my experience, the women that have issues with porn have issues with their own self confidence and they are insecure. There are many women out there that are confident that they satisfy their men sexually and feel that their husband watching porn is harmless. However, don't get me wrong, there are times when a man is addicted to porn and will choose porn OVER sex with their partner. This is where porn is unhealthy. My point in all of this is if you are in what you consider to be a "perfect" relationship with a great guy who does anything and everything for you, there is no need to penalize him if he watches porn. If you STILL have a problem with it, try watching it with him. Make it a sexual experience for the both of you. Or, record yourself with him. You'd be surprised what that does for a relationship. |
|
| Latest articles: What you need to know about Online Dating
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 August 2010: First, let me start off by saying that online dating is not a bad thing. In todays age of technology and the internet, I think online dating is just as good if not better than simply meeting someone at a bar, pub or nightclub. When you meet ...
|
Should I wait to see if he'll leave his girlfriend
Q. I know this 30 year old guy for a few years he used to come in my shop. Had not seen him for a few months when he started coming in my shop again. after a few times coming in my shop, I told him I had divorced from my husband. The next thing he did ...
A. 25 October 2010: I agree with Aunt Honesty. I understand you've been lonely and it's great that he's been there for you. However, you don't want to be stuck waiting around forever for him.
Also, no matter how nice he may seem, his track record has to, unfortun... (read in full...)
I am having an affair with my first love ...
Q. I've being married for 8ys but so much in love with my first love who's with someone. We meet and ended up in bed. I just went him bac. Please help...
A. 25 October 2010: I've gotta go with eyeswideopen on this one.... (read in full...)
Why do I feel guilty about this kiss? Was this cheating or am I beating myself up for nothing?
Q. I met my now girlfriend on a Friday night 3 months ago, went out, partied, had a great time. We went back to a friends, ended up talking, kissing goodnight, and had some mutal interest. The next day we exachanged numbers and like all times i've met ...
A. 25 October 2010: Don't tell her. You are beating yourself up for nothing. Who knows if she would have called you back? Who knows if you would have actually like each other enough to date? Anything could have happened.
On this site I've always been one for prea... (read in full...)
I had sex for the first time but did not enjoy it! What could be the reason?
Q. Hi guys, i used to masturbate like everyday and yesterday i had sex for the first time and to be honest i did not enjoy it. what could be the reason i need to know. i didnt come because the girl in question gets tired easily even when we're ju...
A. 25 October 2010: Yeah, one's first time is rarely "magical". Good sex takes experience. Not only for yourself, but experience getting used to your partner and how she likes to be sexually pleased.
Keeping that in mind, sex and masturbating are 2 differen... (read in full...)
This site makes me feel worse, not better!
Q. I recently learned of this site via some friends, as 3 months ago I went through a very bad break-up with The Only Woman I ever loved and still love. And, with my recent introduction to and utilization of this site, I have found that it has only ...
A. 23 October 2010: Many people coming to this site with problems are in an extreme emotional state. It is very hard to think straight or logically when you are very sad or broken hearted or even angry. This site is here because there are people who are not ... (read in full...)
We want to have sex but what goes where?
Q. I've been going out with the sweetest guy anyone can get and we are starting to think about sleeping together. He isn't pressuring me into doing anything i don't want to because we made a decision on it together and we arranged a date. The thing is ...
A. 23 October 2010: Have you 2 been hugging? Kissing? These are things that come first in a relationship. Sex is just an evolution of those things that must come first. The closer you two get to each other physically and emotionally will make "how sex works" ... (read in full...)
I told him I quit my escort job and now he wants to date me!
Q. We met about a year ago in strip club where I was working. He tipped me good and told me that he want to meet me outside of the club. So I gave him my number. He knew I was escorting so he asked to meet. I really liked him so i went to see him. I e...
A. 23 October 2010: I think you are going to have to choose him or your job. Unfortunately somebody with your job can't always have both. Which one is more important to you?... (read in full...)
Obsessed with my best friend?
Q. I think I'm obsessed with my best friend! I loved him before I became obsessed with him so unlike most people that are obsessed with people I can't physically harm him in anyway. But anyway we've been friends for years and one day we both decided to ...
A. 23 October 2010: Writing things down is a good idea.... (read in full...)
He lied about his age and about being previously married. Is this salvagable?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for about 7 months. About a month ago, I found out that he lied to me about his age. He initially told me he was 35, and when we first began dating he made a really big deal about the age difference ("Are you sure my ...
A. 22 October 2010: He's a liar and a manipulator. And you know this. This isn't one of those things where "love conquers all". You've only been with him for 7 months and already there have been 2 major issues. You already admitted his age is a problem. Why stay ... (read in full...)
I am crazy about him but he has anger issues.
Q. Me and my ex have been on and off for the last 4 years. Everytime we get into a serious arguement he desides he doesnt want the rship and breaks it of. I have never broke up with him. I just guessed it was commintment issuses. Hes a very stub...
A. 22 October 2010: There is no "He's the perfect boyfriend except when he does..."
That IS him. That is who he is. He has anger issues and that is a part of his personality. I've seen this many times, women who focus on the good times and making excuses for the ... (read in full...)
I'm just getting a little concerned that he's not that into me!
Q. I met this really great guy online. Initially I contacted him because he had a very thoughtful profile and it seemed like he had great values. Then we met for our first date, and I found him to be super hot! We've been on three dates so far. Th...
A. 22 October 2010: I think you may be just looking into it a little too much. Good guys sometimes go a little too far out of their way to treat women with respect and not wanting to go too fast too soon. My guess is that he's just trying to be polite. If he wasn't ... (read in full...)
Men: Is dirty texting to your mates normal?
Q. id really like a males veiw on this question is dirty texting to your mates normal cause i just wonder if its playfull banter and nothing to worry about or if its normal no matter how old u r...
A. 22 October 2010: By "mates" do you mean your partner/girlfriend? Or do you mean "mates" in the British "friend" sort of way?... (read in full...)
Why are some guys so close to their sisters?
Q. Why is it that some guys seem incredibly close to their sisters? Ive been dating this guy for 5months now. It feels like they flirt more then me and him. And hes always praising her more then me. I know i sound delusional but i know im not! And shes ...
A. 22 October 2010: You can't overcome it. If you try to get in between him and his sister in any way, he will always choose his sister. Especially when they are that close. Yes, it may seem weird. Yes, it may seem unhealthy. But unfortunately, that is the type of ... (read in full...)
Chatting a year online, does he love me
Q. im women from philliphines, 23 years old,im chatting a guy from georgia, we know each other for a year in chat, and i fall inlove with him...he always teling me that he love me..what is the posible sign that he really love me? how can i know that he ...
A. 22 October 2010: Online relationships can be very dangerous. You may think you know him, but you can't truly get to know somebody until it is in person.
I'm not saying he's lying to you. He may believe he loves you, just as you believe you love him. But the ... (read in full...)
Slept with my husbands best friend
Q. Okay so i am a 19 year old mother of 3. I have a wonderful husband been married almost a year. well a couple of months ago i found out that my husband really good friend was a guy i used to hook up with and eventually fell madly head over heels in ...
A. 22 October 2010: You're lying. You don't think your husband is wonderful, you are just trying to make it seem like this situation is new to you and that you're not the "cheating" type. You're also trying to make it sound like this is a "lost love" that you never ... (read in full...)
Obsessed with my best friend?
Q. I think I'm obsessed with my best friend! I loved him before I became obsessed with him so unlike most people that are obsessed with people I can't physically harm him in anyway. But anyway we've been friends for years and one day we both decided to ...
A. 22 October 2010: I think you just need to tell him the truth. Tell him exactly how much you want to be more than just friends and that you can't stop thinking about him. My guess is that so far you haven't come right out and said it, you've just been trying to see ... (read in full...)
Snooping through his phone I found a text message to his ex saying I mean nothing to him!
Q. While sneaking through my boyfriend of 3 months phone, I found a email to his ex-wife stating that I am nothing to him, should I confront him??...
A. 22 October 2010: If you confront him it will do some serious damage to your relationship. The question is... how strong was your relationship in the first place since you felt the need to snoop through his phone. You must have had some doubts already.
Again... (read in full...)
Another Porn Issue
Q. Again....another porn issue. My boyfriend (who will be 50 next year) has 1182 snipettes of short porn movies, at least 3 folders of nude 20 somethings for his viewing pleasure and he doesn't understand why I might have an issue with this. I don't ...
A. 21 October 2010: Okay, now this changes things. You've shined some light on a much more detailed situation that isn't just "another porn issue". And I must say, anybody in your position would feel insecure considering what has happened so far.
Perso... (read in full...)
Another Porn Issue
Q. Again....another porn issue. My boyfriend (who will be 50 next year) has 1182 snipettes of short porn movies, at least 3 folders of nude 20 somethings for his viewing pleasure and he doesn't understand why I might have an issue with this. I don't ...
A. 21 October 2010: Sorry, mis-typed. It's NOT as black and white as some women make it out to be.... (read in full...)
Another Porn Issue
Q. Again....another porn issue. My boyfriend (who will be 50 next year) has 1182 snipettes of short porn movies, at least 3 folders of nude 20 somethings for his viewing pleasure and he doesn't understand why I might have an issue with this. I don't ...
A. 21 October 2010: Has your sex suffered because of his porn? Does he put his porn before you? Does he masturbate to porn instead of having sex with you? Does he compare you to porn stars? Does he ask you to change to be more like porn stars?
Other than porn, is... (read in full...)
Is it normal for shorter girls to feel this way?
Q. I'm just under 5 foot, 18 years old and a bit curvier... I've never had a boyfriend despite being quite outgoing and flirty. I'm not desperate just concerned that because of my height guys just look at me as a cute little sister or a friend. Don't ...
A. 21 October 2010: You should have no problems. Honestly, I think it's harder for women who are taller than the average man to find someone. Shorter is not usually a problem for a woman.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend betrayed me in the worst way!
Q. Hi everyone. I am hurting at the moment. My boyfreind has broken my trust and has done teh worst thing any one could ever do to me. I though he was a good guy. I told him about my past sexual abuse by father and he told his famly about it. I can ...
A. 21 October 2010: Did he have bad intent when he told them? It doesn't sound like her purposefully tried to hurt you. What you told him is a very big deal, but unfortunately only someone in your position knows EXACTLY how big it is. Someone like him has no ... (read in full...)
Another Porn Issue
Q. Again....another porn issue. My boyfriend (who will be 50 next year) has 1182 snipettes of short porn movies, at least 3 folders of nude 20 somethings for his viewing pleasure and he doesn't understand why I might have an issue with this. I don't ...
A. 21 October 2010: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/bennefits-of-porn.html... (read in full...)
Bennefits of Porn
Q. Hi: I have read a lot of negative things at forums about the dangers and evil of PORN (OMG) and wish to offer my perspective on Porn. When I got caught up in Porn, it was not because something was missing in my current marriage. I just liked ...
A. 21 October 2010: Yes, porn can be bad. Especially for relationships. But that doesn't mean it is ALWAYS bad. Not all men are alike. Just like all women aren't alike.
I'm willing to bet that all of those marriages that ended in divorce claiming "pornogr... (read in full...)
I need advice, I want to have a baby, I am 14, please help??
Q. hey im 14 and i really want a baby i have wanted one sence i was 11 and i dont know what to do my family and friends say i am a natual when it comes to looking after children and careing for them i really don tknow what to do please help x...
A. 19 October 2010: We're not saying you are a baby. You haven't answered our questions, though. How will you care for it? Where will you live? How will you provide food? Clothes? Medical expenses? Do you have insurance? How will you still go to school?
If yo... (read in full...)
Do guys like this?
Q. do guys like it when you say there name during intercourse?...
A. 19 October 2010: Don't forget "Don't worry Dirtball, I don't think you're any less of a man. I won't tell anyone".
All jokes aside, Dirtball is right.... (read in full...)
I need advice, I want to have a baby, I am 14, please help??
Q. hey im 14 and i really want a baby i have wanted one sence i was 11 and i dont know what to do my family and friends say i am a natual when it comes to looking after children and careing for them i really don tknow what to do please help x...
A. 19 October 2010: Don't. You may be very good at taking care of children, but there is more to it than that. When you are around children now it is only for short times. A few hours, the weekends, etc. If you have a child of your own, it is a 24 hour a day, 365 ... (read in full...)
Need an answer to a male orgasm question, please help??
Q. Hey, recently with my boyfriend I managed to "get his cum stuck in his cock" (his words) and he said it was absolutely amazing. The thing is I have no idea how I did this yet I'd like to do it again so if anyone knows what this is or how I would do ...
A. 19 October 2010: I've never heard that term used before so I have no idea what your boyfriend meant by that. You might have to get him to clarify.... (read in full...)
He cheated and got her pregnant and I'm mad as hell
Q. Before a get started...i want to say i love my boyfriend very much. BUT...we have been through too much. i don't know what to do anymore. We have been dating for almost 2 years now. the past 5 months is the best our relationship has ever been. w...
A. 19 October 2010: Well, not that I'm am defending him or saying it is ok... but cheating 2 weeks into a relationship is a bit different the your "normal" type of cheating. How many dates did you two have during that two week time? Were you two having sex yet? ... (read in full...)
Advice on multiple orgasms
Q. Hey all, I would like some help. I'm 13 and I love to masturbate. But when I come I cant carry on. And I've herd that women can have multiple orgasms so I'm kinda confused. I'd some help, thanks x...
A. 19 October 2010: Not all women can have multiple orgasms right after the other. Usually, though, if they do it is during sexual intercourse. Having multiple orgasms while masturbating is much more difficult. You will learn as you get older that orgasms are as ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her the truth, or stick it out for this baby and see what happens?
Q. My wife and I have been fighting a lot. I fell in love with another woman, and was going to leave my wife for her. Then my wife told me she was pregnant. She asked me point blank, "do you want to have this baby with me?" Since I KNOW that I F'd ...
A. 19 October 2010: First off, a baby is no reason to have or stay in a relationship. With that said, let's put the baby aside for right now. You need to focus on your marriage first and foremost. Next thing you need to put aside is this other woman you've "fallen ... (read in full...)
My friend is a lesbian and I'm bi-curious should I sleep with her?
Q. I have recently made friends with a girl my age. She is a lesbian which isn't something that bothers me. While chatting a few days ago she said that she would really like to sleep with me. She told exactly what she would like to do me. At the time I ...
A. 19 October 2010: The decision is entirely up to you. If you are curious than why not try? Just make sure she knows to take it slow and not do something you don't want to. There's nothing wrong with experimenting with a friend. Most importantly there should be no ... (read in full...)
Should I waken him up and confront him?
Q. I spent the night at my boyfriend's apartment. I slept in the bedroom while he slept in the front room. I got up this morning to find a condom wrapper beside the bed. Then i found a receipt to a lingere shop. He is sleep now. Should i wake him up ...
A. 19 October 2010: No, let him sleep. That way you can gather your things and leave before he wakes up.... (read in full...)
Help! I think my mom is cheating on my dad!!!
Q. Ever since my mom got a facebook I've had suspicions of her cheating on my Dad. I've seen her on it and she mostly talks to guys. About a month ago I was downstairs alone her phone went off, I looked ( I know I really shouldn't have) and it was all ...
A. 19 October 2010: Your suspicions could be right, but they also could be wrong. You need to have more information before you go ahead and accuse your mom of cheating. Does she have a friend named Alphonso on Facebook? Try talking to her, but not in a ... (read in full...)
He's gotton someone else pregnant and I don't know what to do any more...
Q. I am completly in love with someone and we are going out. The problem is that he already has a girlfriend who is one of my best mates and is really sensitive. The thing is I've heard he slept with her and he promised me he wouldn't and I did a test ...
A. 19 October 2010: End it with him. You are in love with somebody who is sleeping with other women. It shows a complete lack of respect for you. Run away.... (read in full...)
How do I tap into that part of her that does still want me and break down the barrier?
Q. Okay so long story. Me and my girl have been on and off for nearly two years. I love her a lot and I know she feels the same way, we adore each other. Earlier this month I betrayed her trust, big time, by lying to her. She was devastated and I...
A. 19 October 2010: Betraying her trust is what screwed it up for you in the first place. You can't force her to trust you. You must SHOW her. Be her friend, support her, be there for her.... but don't force it. Tell her you know you betrayed her trust and you're ... (read in full...)
Guys Only Please* nude pics of gf
Q. GUYS ONLY PLEASE I mean this, because girls view the world in a totally different way, and they all THINK they know what guys are thinking and the reasons behindd their actions, but are usually wrong. A girl asking for insight into a guy's min...
A. 19 October 2010: Yes, there are men who are in to showing pictures as sort of a fetish. The question is, are YOU the type of woman who enjoys having their partner show nude pictures of you to people?... (read in full...)
Guys Only Please* nude pics of gf
Q. GUYS ONLY PLEASE I mean this, because girls view the world in a totally different way, and they all THINK they know what guys are thinking and the reasons behindd their actions, but are usually wrong. A girl asking for insight into a guy's min...
A. 18 October 2010: Guys will never post nude pictures of a woman they LOVE or care about. Both of your reasons are good reasons, but the main reason is more along the lines of being possessive. Yeah, it sounds caveman-like... but it's true.
If a guy is willing ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend went for drinks with best friend
Q. dear cupid I am dating this guy, we have been going out for a bout 2 months,and he gets along really well with my best friend. But at this time we are having a few problems and we haven't been speaking. But he decided one night to go out for drink...
A. 16 October 2010: I don't think they'd be going out for drinks together, alone, unless there wasn't something between them. I agree with CaringGuy that this is a warning. There may not be anything official going on between them, but this could definitely be the ... (read in full...)
Should I dump the girl I love to go for a hotter girl?
Q. Hi I am currently in a relationship with someone I love. My friends say she is gross and ugly. A "hotter" girl likes me but I don't like her. Should I dump my current gf and go for the other one?...
A. 15 October 2010: I'm taking a wild guess you're a little younger than the age you posted, eh?
Let me just say this.... what if your "friend" secretly likes your girlfriend but just wants you two to break up so he can go out with her?... (read in full...)
He took my virginity and now I don't know how to handle the relationship!
Q. I was always desperate for love and to be loved. I met a guy at work and at first he wasn't my type and way too old (Im 24 he's 38), my family woudln't accept him. So I eventually (being nice) got to know him and started to develop feelings for him. ...
A. 15 October 2010: First, your virginity is yours to lose. You're old enough where your mom has no right to criticize you. If you feel you made a mistake in having sex with him, fine... but that's your mistake to make. Don't feel guilty or upset for doing it ... (read in full...)
| *immD's friends
These are mutual friends, so *immD has
added them and they have added *immD!
|
