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*untyAlexxmo agony aunt


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Im a 20 something year old masters student, who is in a homosexual relationship. I live in Lincoln and i have had many ups and downs in a short 20 somethinh years which makes me want to try and help others.

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I'm crazy about her -- do I tell her?

Q.   I've known this girl for a while now, She's my bestfriend, but I think I'm starting to fancy her, a lot. I've never felt like this with another girl before, so it's a strange feeling for me. I've never thought about being with another girl before, ...

A.   11 November 2013: I wish I could tell you to go for it and live happily ever after but there are things you need to consider first. It is important to ask yourself is your friendship strong enough to move on from you telling her and her not feeling the same? If... (read in full...)

Straight Girl Secretly In Love With Bisexual Girl Bestfriend

Q.   I'm a girl. I've always classed myself as straight, it wasn't until recently that this was challenged. I met this girl 2 years ago at a party, we got on straight away and continued to meet up as friends, just hanging out. 2 years on, me and this...

A.   9 November 2013: Well you clearly love her, you don't need me to tell you that. I understand why everyone is telling you to go for it but there are things you need to consider. If you doesn't feel the same, she might only she will know that, will you be able... (read in full...)

All I want is a cuddle but if I ask it'll start another fight

Q.   I just feel confused at the moment, distant and not sure what it is i'm thinking. I haven't seen my girlfriend for about three weeks now and everyday it just feels like she hates me at times. She has a lot of Uni work on at the moment so i can ...

A.   5 November 2013: Please read back what you have wrote..... if a friend told you that story you would be shocked right?! You and anyone for that matter deserves better than this. I know how hard leaving can be, but you are not getting anything good from this r... (read in full...)

I'm confused and I know it will hurt my g/f to find out I'm leading a double life!

Q.   Guys I don't know where to start and I'm so confused but I guess I try from the beginning . 6 years ago I met my best friend and my girlfriend and my first love but we are both closet cases but most people have assumed that we are an item. The last ...

A.   1 November 2013: You are not alone this is a mistake many young gay people make. You should tell her the truth and make sure she knows not only why you did it but why you can promise her you wont do it again. You need to do some work on being happy and content ... (read in full...)

Do I ask my friend out now that she's told me she's a lesbian too?

Q.   I need some advice on what to do. My friend has recently told me shes a lesbian, I am too and she told me she already knew that. I could not tell if she had been flirting with me for the past few months, my chances are better now I know she is a ...

A.   30 October 2013: I hope people still date! I would go for it and if she isn't it to you, make sure she knows you still want to be friends and move on. Good luck!... (read in full...)

I messed with her emotions and crushed her heart. Do I deserve her friendship again?

Q.   Hi. I'm bisexual and some time ago I was seeing a woman during a rough point in my life. I was going through a divorce and simultaneously trying to detach from an emotional affair I was having with my male boss. The woman I was seeing had no idea I ...

A.   30 October 2013: I am very sorry but no, leave old wounds be. You have both moved on so leave it that way, don't risk hurting her again. ... (read in full...)

I want to interpret these as positive signals but I have no idea about her sexuality

Q.   So, I'm near to the end of my first year at university (my last exam is on the 11th!). It's been a rollercoaster of a year, but I think things are looking up. Here's the thing. For the last six months I've had this crush on a girl, that I've ...

A.   12 June 2013: Hi, So i few options- 1- Do you know any of her friends or anyone that knows her well enough that they would know who she may have dated in the past or who she may like, if so you could always try asking them. 2- Start talking to her and... (read in full...)

How do I approach a girl I feel attracted to? She is so beautiful.

Q.   Hey everyone, So I am an 18 year old girl, and I have had boyfriends, but recently I feel like i have fallen for a girl who is 25. I hardly know her.. my sister is in a singing competition, where this girl is one of the judges, and since speaki...

A.   15 May 2013: If your sister knows her that may be a good way to start talking, or even if your sister knows some things she is into so you could talk about something you have in common. At the end of the day she is a person just like you, so just be yourself... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is in prison and I think she's developed feelings for another girl in there

Q.   So my girlfriend is in prison. She has been locked up for thirteen months. There is this other girl that she has developed and emotional attachment to.My girlfriend says that they are just friends, but there are little things that they do to make me ...

A.   24 February 2013: Sorry but i have to say this- why would you want to date somebody who is in prison? Don't you feel you deserve better than a criminal? If you don't then that is up to you. If you want to stay with her then that is the cost, never really knowing w... (read in full...)

Will my ex's new lesbian partner leave their same-sex marriage and go back to liking men?

Q.   I posted a question here recently and have another one. I'm a lesbian and my ex left me for another women who has only been with my ex. And they got married after 6 weeks. Do you think she can stay married to her, or will she go back looking for...

A.   1 January 2013: Well 6 weeks isn't the best foundation for marriage but it could work or fail just like any marriage. If you want to be happy you need to let it go, stop thinking about them and focus on your own life, what will be will be.... (read in full...)

Should I worry about my boyfriend's desire to have sex with another guy?

Q.   My boyfriend is a wonderful guy and I love him so much and I know he loves me too. He isn't gay or even bisexual, guys themselves make him uncomfortable sexually, but he's really attracted to penises. Which probably seems weird. I know he's ...

A.   11 November 2012: Part of a relationship, a stable one, is being with each other only. If i really loved someone i couldn't be with anybody else sexually. I would worry that he is willing to but his desire before your feelings and emotions, it is clearly going... (read in full...)

I'm 14 and afraid I'm turning into a lesbian. I don't want to be one!

Q.   Hi I'm 14 years old and I'm afraid that I might be turning lesbian. When I'm alone I like to watch lesbian porn and masturbate. It arouses me and I have an amazing orgasm, but when I'm done I regret doing it and feel ashamed and weird. I really ...

A.   6 November 2012: You are rather young to be watching porn, it can have a negative affect on your sexual development but it is your life and up to you what you choose to do. You do need to know/learn that porn is very fake and does not reflect real sex, whether that ... (read in full...)

Is she afraid to be into girls?

Q.   Hey everyone. I am a 17 year old female who is bisexual. Around the beginning of September my friend had started taking this girl to school with us in the morning. I had thought nothing of it until her and I actually began talking. We have gotten ...

A.   3 November 2012: Well it sounds like she likes you but the best way to know for 100% would be to ask her. But if i was you, before you ask her how she feels i would decided exactly what i want. Do you want her to be your girlfriend and if so are you ready for all ... (read in full...)

We have been fighting over little stuff and now g/f wants to take a break

Q.   me and my Girlfriend been fighting with each other for the past couple weeks. It's about stupid stuff, the littlest stuff is getting to us. And she don't like how i catch a attitude with her really quick after i get done hanging out with my ...

A.   3 November 2012: If you did have somebody watch her that really isn't healthy in a relationship. You are very young to be fighting and having such a hard time with a GF. Maybe a break would be a good way to sort out what you want to do. If this really isn't wh... (read in full...)

My Gf will not give up on me and yet her loyalties are divided. She's cheating again. What can I do?

Q.   My gf is torn between two. She left me in the past for this women and she is currently is doing it again. So I broke it off but we still live together and she sits and lies to my face about the situation but when I cough up everything she w...

A.   30 October 2012: Stop settling for her awful behavior and giving her the chance to stay with you and TELL her to move on. You deserve better than somebody that cheats on you once, never mind this many times.... (read in full...)

Lingerie decisions...

Q.   hiya ive just turned 16 ive got a boyfrend im thinking of buying my first thong any advice on what lingerie styles and types thanks,...

A.   23 October 2012: Why not just go round the shops and look at all the different styles and see what you like best and what you think will suit you. Remember just because you are turning 16 that doesn't mean you automatically have to start having sex.... (read in full...)

We've been fighting every day for months. Is it any wonder I have trust issues over her sexting etc

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years now and we've been fighting nearly everyday for the past few months. We have sat down and talked about this and the arguments stopped for about a week. Now it's the same old arguments. Heres the tricky p...

A.   22 October 2012: I understand why you have trust problems, most people would when they feel their trust has been broken. But a relationship without trust is nothing and you have a big choice to make. You either can't forgive her, which means leaving her, eit... (read in full...)

My gay girlfriend told me she was pregnant?

Q.   I'm having some problems. The other week my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. Now I'm not stupid enough to be thinking its mine, I'm gay, it's impossible, that's the problem. She's obviosly been with a man. I've not spoken to her since she told ...

A.   21 October 2012: Hello, Do you stay?! She cheated on you. She only told you she cheated because she had to being pregnant. She is having a mans baby. I certainly wouldn't stay! It's not good for anyone, her you or the baby. You would end up blaming the... (read in full...)

I feel so guilty about crushing on this girl at Uni who may or may not be gay. Especially considering that I have a LDR Gf who I adore. What should I do?

Q.   This is going to sound really messed up but ever since I started uni I have had a huge crush on a girl that works at the uni who has a really gay vibe about her. She dresses quite butch, but I have a feeling she's straight because I've seen her arou...

A.   21 October 2012: You shouldn't feel as guilty as you, as much as we would like to we can not control our feelings. The one thing i would say is if you like this girl so much how sure are you of your feeling for your girlfriend? Don't get me wrong long dista... (read in full...)

I'm bi curious and would like some advice on how to proceed with it

Q.   Hey everyone, I have been bicurious for a very long time now,but I haven't come out in the open to anyone saying I would like to try it with a girl,cuz I want to first try it with a girl and know myself if its just a phase and curiosity or I'm bicu...

A.   6 October 2012: Best places to meet a girl would be: -Gay bar or club -Gay dating site -Asking friends if they know anyone you might like...... (read in full...)

How do I approach our married female friend so I can explore my bi-sexual curiosities?

Q.   I have been with my BF for over a year now. We are both in our early 20's. We are very open and he know I am bi curious, and he is even willing to let me "explore" those curiosities, if an opportunity happen to present itself. Well, we are friends ...

A.   23 September 2012: You don't. With friends it all ends in tears!... (read in full...)

Does watching lesbian porn mean I'm bisexual?

Q.   Hi I am a 24 year old virgin,I don't believe in sex before marriage,I believe in abstinence..I know some of you may think its crazy but these are my values,luckily the men I have dated understood this about me and never pressured me into sex.. I...

A.   28 August 2012: No, watching porn is not reflective of your sexuality. I am a lesbian but I have watched all types of porn, lesbian, straight or gay. Straight porn is not aimed at women, it is not nice and it is nothing like real life! The only thing that makes ... (read in full...)

I like her but have not said I love her. Should I go meet the parents if I'm feeling like this?

Q.   Ive been dating my girlfriend coming up 6 months, she wants me to meet her parents, it is a big deal for her. She has told me she loves me, but I have not said it back. I am worried that by now I should feel something for her, I really like her ...

A.   20 August 2012: Everybody falls in love in their own time, there isnt a time limited on love and feelings. This said you can't wait forever to see how you feel while this girl hangs on in love with you when you don't know how you feel about her. You need to h... (read in full...)

She's not sure what she is and I never experienced that, how can I help her?

Q.   I have recently met this girl in the past few weeks where I have started to work, we've hit it off instantly exchanging numbers and emails etc. We have since been in contact constantly and a few comments she makes I did question whether or not she ...

A.   31 July 2012: The best way you can help her is by being there for her if she needs you, listening to her when she needs to talk. I really don't think she is the girl you want to date at the moment, she needs to find out who she is and what she wants and then... (read in full...)

Should I have my first homosexual encounter with this woman?

Q.   Hey everyone I am 23 years old,and I would say for the past 4 years I'v been bicuruious and I would really want to know how it is to be with a girl..I don't know if I can go all the way and have sex but I think just first base to see what I feel ...

A.   29 July 2012: It would not be my first option for an encounter, but of course it is up to you. You could easily lose a friend or make it awkward but it could be ok to, all depends on her and you really.... (read in full...)

Questioning My sexuallity for Years? How can I Know? If I have never been with a girl?

Q.   I'm a 20 year old girl. From My Childhood even until now I have really only had a couple male friends and even. Now it's pretty safe to say I don't have any (that are close to me anyway) I remember having crushes on only guys until I was 13 and h...

A.   29 July 2012: You do not have to have sexual experience to know you do or do not want something. But also it is important to learn who we are and be happy with that in yourself before feeling the need to tell people. If i was you i wouldnt label myself as ... (read in full...)

Can anyone suggest how I get over my fear of playing basketball on the court?

Q.   Ok so I really love playing basketball. I am the New girl on the team I play on so everyone else has all this experience being on it. My boyfriend (Which i just made my ex but he doesnt know it) is on the guys team and he always tried to make fun...

A.   17 July 2012: Everybody is new at one point and they will all feel nervous but you just need to get past it, think about the fun side of the game and all the advantages instead of the bad or scary side.... (read in full...)

How do I try and get my boyfriend to be more adventurous in bed without scaring him or making him feel pressured?

Q.   Okay so I'm in a lovely relationship with a guy who has only had a two week relationship prior to me. However, although the physical side is good I feel unfulfilled by it. Maybe because with my Ex we had a very exciting sex life and tried lots of ...

A.   17 July 2012: You need to sit and talk with him about this, talk about things both of you would like to try and talk about the reasons why it is important to you to try these things and how it could be good for the two of you.... (read in full...)

We have feelings for each other but my sister likes him!

Q.   Recently I've been spending a lot of time with a guy I've been good friends with for years. I was actually dating a close find of his a few years back. I have had a little crush on him for a few weeks now and spent all week with him this past week(i ...

A.   17 July 2012: If you want to be with him then you need to talk to your sister first and ask her how should would feel about the situation. If she is very upset about it then you need to decide what is more important to you.... (read in full...)

The love is gone, she's refusing to let me see my children. Do I start divorce proceedings?

Q.   Hi all - my wife and I have been married 4 years and things have been turbulent from the start - we have two young children aged 2 and 3 1/2.When we got married we moved in to my partners home and this is were a lot of trouble has started from - ...

A.   17 July 2012: The quicker you file divorce the quicker yoy can get into court for access to the children and a legal agreement so she cant stop you seeing them, its what i would do, but of course the decision is yours.... (read in full...)

Why does my girlfriend resent me making achievements?

Q.   I am confused as to why my girlfriend of 18 months seems to resent me achieving anything. No matter what I do, she knows someone who did it better. Whatever I paid she knows where I could have purchased it cheaper. Her friends boyfriends all seem to ...

A.   17 July 2012: It sounds like she may be a little jealous of you, maybe feels that you are better than her, so she tries to put you down a bit. You need to talk to her and tell her that you are not too good for her and you like her for who she is but also that she ... (read in full...)

Can anybody find me...somebody to love?

Q.   I am a twenty seven year old lesbian. And still a virgin. I feel ashamed by this. I'm kinda shy and insecure, because I don't look like some of the lesbians that I see around where I live. It's depressing me, and I want to know if there are any...

A.   8 July 2012: To start with not all people gay or straight look the same so there really isnt any point worrying about it :) Do you go out much? To gay bars or club, places you can meet new people? Take some friends with you if you do not want to go alone an... (read in full...)

I waited too long, so should I just let it go and forget about it?

Q.   My senior year of high school I didn't have a date to homecoming so one of my friends and I decided that we would be each others "date". When we were hanging out after the game she told me she had feelings for me and asked if I would go out with ...

A.   30 June 2012: If she is happy then you have to let it go, try being her friend and you might see you dont like her in a romantic way and if you still do, you never knoe they may not last forever.... (read in full...)

I love my boyfriend, but have feelings for my female friend!

Q.   ok, so. i have this friend, shes a girl. ive been tryin 2 decied if im ballenced(BI), or totter(STRAIGHT). ive been having mixed emotions about her. she dresses like a guy acts like a guy. idk what 2 do. i have a bf that i love sooo much. I try 2 ...

A.   30 June 2012: Your friend doesn't sound straight, just saying. Do you think you are really ready to be in a relationship with a girl so soon after your break up? ... (read in full...)

How to deal with my girlfriends sexual requests?

Q.   How to deal with my girlfriend(lesbian) she needs oral sexual pleasure for no reason at midnights,i really care about her,but i don't know whether she gets horny or something,she gets aroused for while even reading novels at night i had advised her ...

A.   30 June 2012: Why dont you have sex with her before you fall asleep then she wont have to wake you up?... (read in full...)

My ex now likes men and it's killing me inside!

Q.   I am a woman and I was engaged to another woman for 2 years. She left me about 4 months ago for reasons that she won't even tell me. My best guess is that she had a break down. But she really won't say. We share our dog and trade her every other ...

A.   30 June 2012: Yes it ends, in time. It would hurt as much if it was a woman as it does with this man, it is the fact she is rubbing your face in her new sex life. You need to be the bigger person and not rise to it, not argue woth her or play into her ha... (read in full...)

Five months? Is it too soon to say to her, 'i love you'?

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend for 5 months now and i want to tell her i'm in love with her but i'm afraid it may be too soon as 5 months isn't a huge amount of time. I have had feelings for her for a couple of years now as we have been close flir...

A.   30 June 2012: If it is how you feel and you want to tell her then go for it, just be ready not to be disappointed if shes isnt quite ready to say it back yet. Even if she isnt she will more than likely be happy that you feel that way.... (read in full...)

I'm starting to question my friendship with my gay best friend... What do I do?

Q.   So my gay best friend hung out with me today, since he's in town (he lives in AZ, I'm in cali). We used to date, but we only kissed once, and it was one of those preschool kisses that were just us smashing our face together. It didn't last long, and ...

A.   30 June 2012: if he does not stop when you ask him and you feel uncomfotable tell him how he is making you feel and warn him if he does not stop you will leave, if he carries on then you leave. simple.... (read in full...)

I'm starting to question my friendship with my gay best friend... What do I do?

Q.   So my gay best friend hung out with me today, since he's in town (he lives in AZ, I'm in cali). We used to date, but we only kissed once, and it was one of those preschool kisses that were just us smashing our face together. It didn't last long, and ...

A.   30 June 2012: if he does not stop when you ask him and you feel uncomfotable tell him how he is making you feel and warn him if he does not stop you will leave, if he carries on then you leave. simple.... (read in full...)

How do I get my online LDR girlfriend back? She broke up with me because she said being gay was against her faith.

Q.   i'm lesbian and two weeks ago my girlfrind broke up with me after nearly three months. Its a long distance relationship. At first our relationship was great but there were issues. She'd tell me i upset her or made her angry because i didn't a...

A.   30 June 2012: I'm sorry to say this and you wont like it, but you dont need her back. After only 3 months of have all these issues, 3 months is nothing. Dont you feel like you deserve more, like a girl that lives closer you can actually spend time with?... (read in full...)

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