A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 27 and have been separated from my husband for about 20 months. I moved away after the split and found myself changing, becoming more confident, independent and enjoying life but I seem to have relationship demons. I seem to find myself jumping from one short and unstable relationship to another never really getting what I want and need from them. I fear being alone but do get plenty of offers from guys but still find myself single. Is it that I'm too fussy, or have become too independent?, I feel lost and with having a good friendship with my ex I find myself looking back and thinking about what I left behind. How do I move forward in the direction I crave?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): HI i was in a similar situation. Im 36 and am getting divorced. since i was separated i have jumped from guy to guy, either they just want to have sex or they have a girl already. I got tired of this, i know i wanted to be with someone but someone that cared about me and was sincere. I was married for a long time and i guess the thrill of meeting new guys was fascinating but slowly the thrill fades when u see what they are all about. I finally have met someone that wants something real with me. I still look back at my ex and really wish things had worked out. I dont know what will happen with this man i met but im tired of jumping from man to man. My heart can't take it anymore. I suggest you decide what you want, not what the men want and wait for the right person to come along. You will feel peace inside your heart. I just wanted to let u know ur not the only one that is going thru this. I hope this helps.
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (19 May 2008):
 Try having a guy as a friend, instead of jumping into another unfulfilled relationship. That way you can assess whether he is suitable boyfriend material, make sure you check out his qualities properly so that you won't feel used and get hurt. Are there any female friends you can go out and have fun with too?
Coming out of a marriage can be very daunting, you feel very vulnerable guys can sense that and take advantage. Also do not come across too needy for a relationship, and when you do find a nice man atke it one step at a time. Don't be in a hurry to sleep with him or get serious too soon. There is a book that has come out in all good book shops called 'Hot Relationships' from the author called Tracey Cox. She is brilliant and gives fantastic advice when it comes to dating and finding Mr Right. The book costs £9.99 and is worth every penny.
I am divorced myself and have been for 10 years, I am now dating a lovely guy for 8 months, and make sure I treat each day as if we first met. This keeps the relationship alive, exciting and stops it from becoming boring.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (19 May 2008):
 Let's try to look at this from a more positive angle. Maybe you are jumping around from relationship to relationship because you haven't found what satisfies you. Perhaps you're looking for more of a commitment from the guys you've met, or maybe it's a particular personality style... something. I actually think that your change has been beneficial to you, but you need to embrace it. Listen to yourself and see if it's telling you that you have a particular vision for a relationship that these other guys can't (won't?) fulfill.
Bottom line here is that I don't see you as bouncing around. I think you're experimenting and experiencing what you really want. I might suggest a simple exercise: make two lists -- what you want from a relationship and what you don't want. Then compare the lists against your recent relationships. If they had more characteristics from the negative list, then feel justified in that you are indeed searching for what you want.
Last point: it's very easy to look back at a past marriage and only see the good parts of it. Those are the things that might haunt you for a long while... or at least until you find new memories that are just as good or better with a new relationship.
Best wishes!!
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