A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been dating this man for 9 months online.he has recently, within the last week, been so shocked to hear that i am a virgin.i sense that he is angry at me for revealing this piece of info now- not months ago. lack of trust maybe i do not want to blow this relationship, what should I say to him. what should i do nexthe's a gemini and I am a leo, if that helps. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2018): I didn't tell my boyfriend about me for a good few months as well. I don't see why it's a big issue and he should actually feel more valued if you wish to sleep with him.
As it shows how much you're committed to him and how you feel about him
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2018): There are a lot of pervs and married dudes looking for sexual flings online. You can be anybody you want to be online. Likely he was talking to you in order to eventually get sex from you. He probably figured he's wasted all this time because he never expected to ever find a real, live virgin on the other side of his computer screen. I'd stay away from him.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 July 2018):
 He's not upset in the sense that you did something wrong or withheld important information. He's guilty that he led you on because being a virgin means you are saving it for someone special, because it's something real and substantial. Now he has to figure out ways to back out without looking stupid. Sounding stupid I should say, since this relationship is online.
If you have not had relationship experience you would be led to believe that every relation leads to something real. A weathered person knows this is not the case. She/he knows that people lie, people do on/off relationships, people cheat. What you had with him was not real. A more sign that this is not real is, you can't even ask him what's bothering him, or why that kind of response. 9 months and he hasn't got to ask you whether you've had relationships before. What exactly do you talk about for 9 months that you don't know each other's intimate details? Or were you sexting and you just went along with it so he never imagined you to be a virgin?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2018): Online relationships are not real.You never really know who is online.You could be talking to a ninety year old grandma for all you know.Or a prison inmate.Time to get yourself some therapy and join the real world and have a relationship with a real person.Anger is scary.Why put yourself out there for a angry person who you never met who might not be real?get some help so you can live in the real world not one that is based on your imagination.Try e harmony meet a real person.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (27 July 2018):
 Wiseowl is spot on. Why would he be angry?
Hearing that someone between age 30-35 is a virgin can be a shock for sure. But a reason to get angry? No chance. If you’re correct and he is angry then this is a perfect time to dip out of the situation. Why would you be upset over dropping contact with someone that is angry that you haven’t slept with anyone?
Doesn’t that sound silly to you?
Also why is this relationship only online? Have you ever met? Are you planning to? Wouldn’t you rather have a relationship with someone that you can actually see in person?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2018): Zodiac signs have nothing to do with anything. What has he said or done to make you believe he is angry at you? He hasn't pressured you for sex in the whole 9-months, I would just assume he's a gentleman and a pretty patient guy.
He may be surprised; but why should he be angry? If you're still at that stage of getting acquainted; he didn't really need to know you were a virgin; until you were ready to tell him. It doesn't matter if that was the first day, or now. It's up to you how soon you want to be that personal.
You've only been dating online, have you even met yet?
Virginity past your 20's is rare; but it's not an unnatural phenomenon. Stay level-headed and just let him get used to the fact. You're over-thinking and over-dramatizing the matter.
If he's angry, then dump him. It's stupid to be angry about it. Attribute behavior to character and personality; not what month you were born.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (27 July 2018):
 I just want to start with zodiac signs never help. They are a cool hobby or interest, but they are made up and don't fit all or most people accurately. Never make decisions based on astrological signs.
Anyway, back to the main thing: there's nothing here to give us any idea of any anger or betrayal feelings. He's shocked. Most are when someone is a virgin in their 30s just because it's not as common as not being one.
Why do you feel he's angry or feels like you didn't trust him?
Why are you a virgin? It's not bad to be one at your age, it just gives us more insight.
Why has it only just come up now?
Why haven't you been intimate yet? There's nothing wrong with waiting for several months, just another thing that gives us more insight.
How often do you talk? How often do you meet? Are you long distance? What do you know about him and vice versa? Where are you in your relationship?
Your post doesn't really indicate an issue, but you feel there is one, so we need more information.
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