A
female
age
51-59,
*ellogs
writes:Hi My partner of 6 yrs does not have sex with me at all. He says he just can't be arsed and does not have any interest in sex. I have lived like this for 5 yrs with him. I the first yr he rarely did have sex with me. We are 50 and 51. I have started seeing other men on line and have met up with a few that I have had affairs with. One of them would like me to leave my partner and be with him. The new guy and I do have sex and that is not an issue. I terms of Love I don't particularly love anyone but i have needs. I also don't want to be on my own as my man would need to support me financially. Both of which are able to do. What do I do???
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (29 July 2018):
 What do you do? You grow up and accept you are an adult and start acting like one. You seem to use people without any qualms or regrets.
I assume you have stayed with your partner all these years for the financial security? And one of your main considerations in a new partner seems to be that he can support you financially as well as provide you with the sex you so desperately need. So basically you are pimping yourself out to whoever can afford to support you. Or do you not see it that way?
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (29 July 2018):
 If you want a sexual relationship then why would you stay with someone that doesn’t offer that? Stop cheating on your partner, that’s the lowest of the low. If he doesn’t fulfill your needs, leave!
Be with whoever makes you happy. It’s pretty simple, but don’t use people for their money. That’s a terrible attitude to have. What’s wrong with supporting yourself?
You’re old enough to know better.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (29 July 2018):
 OP, you're a middle-aged woman who puts no effort into treating people with respect. Not only that, but you are plenty old enough to financially support yourself. Bloomin' heck - sponging off of someone AND cheating on them. What a horrible person you have become.Own up. Break up. Be single. Financially support yourself. DON'T CHEAT ON PEOPLE! Be a decent person. Look in the mirror and remind yourself of your behaviour until it truly sinks in and you feel guilty enough to change.This may seem harsh, but it won't if you have an ounce of decency in you. If you don't, then you're being selfish and need to take yourself down a few pegs. You have no right to have affairs. If something isn't working and you can't/won't fix it, leave - don't cheat.You are clearly capable of making decisions - particularly bad ones. They don't only affect you, so seriously think about that when making them.Be responsible for yourself and your actions, OP. Time to start making up for what you've been doing. You should be disappointed in yourself. Sometimes we say "don't be so hard on yourself", but you need to be because it's unnerving how little consideration you have for anyone but yourself.Bottom line, you break up and stop sponging off of people. Then you learn how to respect people because your needs aren't an excuse to cheat and hurt people.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (29 July 2018):
 Of course you should leave your partner.
He didn't MAKE you cheat by not having sex with you. After all you STILL stayed even though you didn't get any sexual fulfillment. So don't use that as an excuse. Just saying.
You CHOSE to have affairs to feel fulfilled. You could have left him ANYTIME in those 6 years.
WHY should EITHER of these men support you financially? Why can't you do that yourself?
So it's OK for you to USE one man for sexual fulfillment and another for sexual fulfillment?
I think you need to grow up, OP And take a harder look at yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2018): Break-up with the guy you live with; and move-in with the guy who has sex with you, and you think will financially-support you. OR, get a better job; support yourself, and get some therapy to figure-out why you can't love anybody.
You're a mature woman in her fifties. It might be a little difficult finding men who would want to support you. If that's what your boyfriend does, what will he do if he discovers you're cheating on him? Why would he pay all the bills; while you're sleeping with another man? I guess when he catches you, the decision of what to do will be made for you!
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