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Not sure I feel the same as my ex he wants to try again

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 July 2018) 5 Answers - (Newest, 10 July 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

An ex recently got back in touch with me after 7 months. He wanted to see me so i agreed and went to his . We talked about stuff and they way he was saying things and what he was saying is he wants to start again . When we were in a relationship before we were making plans to have a child , now im not so sure if i want another child, fast forward 7 months and im just not sure what to do . I dont think i feel the same about him as i did before . We didnt end things great and i said hurtful things but he said he wants to move on from that and he understands why i said what i did. Do i tell him how i feel or give things another go and see if my feelings come back for him . i think i just need to hear what people think to see it more in black and white

View related questions: move on, my ex

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (10 July 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntYou cannot force feelings for someone. You both clearly want different things and it sounds like he is more in to you than you are him. Don't just settle for someone and hope for the best. You ended the relationship for some reason so I think you need to be honest with yourself and him and move on.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 July 2018):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with N91 and Cindy,

Move on, wish him well and just DO NOT go there.

To me it seems like dipping back in the shallow pool of exes is RARELY if ever a good idea.

While he SAYS he understand the harsh words spoken when you two broke up, you have to realize NOTHING has really changed to make trying to date again a good idea.

Either you FEEL that HE is someone you can see yourself with or you don't. You can "sit and wait" for feeling to maybe, possibly, perhaps... show up.

And if YOU do not want another child and he kind of does, then you aren't for him and he isn't for you.

The longer you two string each other along, the longer you prevent BOTH of you from finding someone who is RIGHT for each of you - that isn't him or you.

Wish him well and work on moving on. Going back to a dud from that past... just isn't going to magically work now.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (9 July 2018):

CindyCares agony aunt Strange; this would seem a no brainer to me, i.e. heck no, move on !

Going back to an ex is seldom a good idea regardless, because exes are exes for a reason and if things ended ( and, in this case, also ended in a ugly way ) that means that the relationship wasn't that great to begin with / there were problems which could not be fixed- otherwise, forgive me for stating the obvious, it would have lasted .

I could understand you being tempted if for some reason you were still crazily in love with the guy, but you are not !, you are not even sure if you still feel a little something ,

you would have to date him , whle you wait and see if any feelings come back…It does not make a lot of sense, does it ? Why would you do something like that, - just to please HIM ? Even if pleasing HIM would also probably entail making another child that you do not really want ??!

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (9 July 2018):

CindyCares agony aunt Strange; this would seem a no brainer to me, i.e. heck no, move on !

Going back to an ex is seldom a good idea regardless, because exes are exes for a reason and if things ended ( and, in this case, also ended in a ugly way ) that means that the relationship wasn't that great to begin with / there were problems which could not be fixed- otherwise, forgive me for stating the obvious, it would have lasted .

I could understand you being tempted if for some reason you were still crazily in love with the guy, but you are not !, you are not even sure if you still feel a little something ,

you would have to date him , whle you wait and see if any feelings come back…It does not make a lot of sense, does it ? Why would you do something like that, - just to please HIM ? Even if pleasing HIM would also probably entail making another child that you do not really want ??!

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (9 July 2018):

N91 agony auntMove on.

Why revisit the past? It didn’t work the first time so why would a second time be any different? Move forwards with your life, not backwards.

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