A
female
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*appe2seeU
writes:I need some advice. I have been dating a guy for five years, his family is top priority with him, I am bottom of his list. I will add that his family absolutely dislike me, no matter what I do, it is always wrong.He has a large park RV that his family spends every summer holiday at. I always make sure that I go out of my way to make their stay as nice as possible.This past Labor Day was no different, except there was two extra people there and one of them wanting to date the guy that I have been seeing before we started to see each other. I was friendly but I kept my distance. Last night I was told that his family will not be back at his trailer because I told them no one is allowed to sleep in his place, I never said anything like that. In fact I think I might have said less than 50 words the entire time I was there.What am I to do? His family absolutely hates me and I am afraid if I ty to defend myself I may make matters worse.When I questioned if my boyfriend backed me up, I was told no, because his family is too upset, Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2018): If you really are last priority in your boyfriend's life after 5 years why on earth are you still bothering with him?? I would only ever be with somebody that puts me first which I assumed was common sense.
You need to tell him how you feel and if he still chooses family over you then he isn't worth being with anyway.
A
female
reader, Happe2seeU +, writes (5 September 2018):
Happe2seeU is verified as being by the original poster of the question I want to sincerely thank each of you for your input on my situation. I greatly appreciate each of them. You are all absolutely correct, I do deserve better and be treated with I respect. It's up to me to close this chapter and move on, no one can do this for me. Thanks again for taking time and responding to my inquiry,
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (5 September 2018):
 So why have you stayed 5 years?
If you are his last priority and you’ve been together for 5 years then you’re basically telling him your treatment of me is fine. You are accepting what he is offering. Why would he make any changes?
If you think this is all you’re worth then continue your life as it is, if you think you deserve more then find someone else who treats you as such.
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (5 September 2018):
 If you are truly the LAST priority on this guy's list, then why are you wasting your time with him? What are you getting from this relationship? Are you just with him because you think being with someone who treats you with such disregard and whose family treat you so rudely is better than being alone?
Sweetheart, in case you doubt it, let ME tell you: you are worth better than this. You are not going to change him. Is this how you want to waste a few more years?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2018): First of all, not even once did you refer to this guy as your boyfriend. Aren't you officially a committed-couple?
How on God's green earth have you spent five years with a guy who's family hates you? Especially when he takes their side every-time? People treat their family maid better than that!
Sorry but, I'm not going to be treated like an outsider every-time his folks or brats come around. They disrespect you so much; they even brought along someone that wanted to date somebody that you used to date. That's not only weird, but how awkward?!! That move was in your face!
You're a glutton for punishment over this guy!
Girlfriend, what is so great about this prick that you're taking such a beating for him? I mean...seriously?!! You won't even call him your boyfriend. You've been "dating a guy for five years?!!" That sounds so informal and uncommitted.
If you ask me, they've been kicking you in the backside for far too long. You talk about being afraid to defend yourself or making it worse. Why would he allow that; if he gave two poops and a rat's butt about you?
Stand-up or bailout, girlfriend! You sound more like a pet than the guy's girlfriend. When his family come to visit; you go to your corner, and sit quietly like a good little doggy.
OH, HELL NO!!!
Are you really that desperate to keep a man? You are a mature and respectable woman. This is all beneath your dignity! Bordering on desperate! I think it's time you close your catering and family-entertainment business; and go find yourself a real boyfriend.
This sounds like one of those situations where you're on-call when he needs a cook, someone to plan his social affairs, sex on-demand, available to be a plus-one, or his lady-companion when the occasion requires one. I hope you're not settling for that! It's demeaning!
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (4 September 2018):
 You have to decide if being the LAST priority is what you want from a partner.
You have to decide if dating someone who's family try and sabotage your relationship is what you want.
He is NOT going to change.
Sounds to me like your BF is using you as hostess extraordinaire at is RV part (unless it was just him family you were catering too).
I don't understand why you are with him, and why you don't stand up for yourself. You say it makes matters worse... really? Like it's not BAD enough that they LIE about you behind your back? It's not bad enough that they try and sabotage your relationship and that your BF is such a limp dick of a man that he can't hear the truth because his family got upset? What a load of crap!
Are you really OK with this man AND his family using you as a doormat like this? Is this how you see the rest of your life?
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