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Is this long distance relationship worth pursuing or should I just move on?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 September 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 September 2018)
A male Australia age 22-25, *IAN123 writes:

Hello everyone.

So I have reached a point in my life when if someone were to ask my relationship status, I would say, "It's complicated".

Basically, exactly one year ago I was on a pretty long layover, I downloaded a hookup app and started talking to this guy. We actually could not meet that day, but I immediately became super drawn to him, and for the next two weeks while I was on holiday we talked on an almost daily basis.

On my way back home, I again had a pretty long layover in the same city, and this time we actually met briefly. We just hugged and went for coffee, I guess it was a date, albeit a very short but super sweet one.

I came back home and settled back into my life, but since that moment he and I have been in constant communication. Yes, we do sext occasionally, but it is so much more than that. We videochated till almost 4 am talking about anything and everything, we played games, watched movies, and before I realised, I think I started falling for this guy. This is a pretty big deal for me, given how I almost could not get over a previous relation that took place three years back.

Anyway, despite the distance, and despite not being officially together, things were going amazingly well for a bit, and I started feeling that even though I could not say I was "taken", I definitely did not feel "Single" either. He is very careful with his choice of words, but more than once, he said things that assured me everything was mutual.

But, a couple of weeks ago he got a new job, (we have both just graduated uni, and I am one year older) his new job is amazing and I am so happy for him, but since then everything turned weird. He is always busy, we stopped talking, he stopped calling me cute names, and now, when I send him pics I usually get cold and short replies.

Of course, I understand he is busy and he wants to excel at his job. I fully support him and I am incredibly proud, as I often tell him. But, I am one to believe, that if you really want something or you truly care about someone, you find the time and ways.

I am going to Europe in two weeks, and we were hoping to hang out during the weekends, but for a long time now I have been trying to facetime him and plan how and when we will meet, he was always too busy/uninterested. He finally picked up today, (on a Sunday) but before we could decide on anything he hanged up on me, saying "I will call you in five", of course he fell asleep, never texted me and never called me back.

I really like this guy, and I know our situation with work, time difference and distance is super complicated. But I just want to know if this is worth perusing or if I should just forget him and move on?

View related questions: long distance, move on, on holiday, text

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (12 September 2018):

N91 agony auntForget and move on.

You said yourself that people make the time if they want to, therefore you know deep down that this is over. Stop trying to take it any further, it’s your own time and feelings that are at stake, no one else’s.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 September 2018):

Honeypie agony auntI think the "fun" of the back and forth is over for him. My guess is that besides his new job, he has meet someone else (in person). And he just haven't had the courage to tell you. Which is why he isn't using cute nicknames, doesn't want pictures and isn't trying AT ALL to keep the contact going.

I think YOU are FAR more involved in this fantasy then he is.

It's not complicated. He is no longer interested.

I'm sorry. This is the biggest issue with LDR's. People lose interest when they don't get to meet up in PERSON. They meet new people who they can hang out with in PERSON and they take a long look and realize that the LDR/online thing isn't going to become a REAL relationship. It was "fun" while it lasted.

I'm sorry, I'd wish him well, enjoy the vacation and just block him and stop all contact.

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