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Should I call him out or just drop it?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends with Benefits, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 September 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 September 2018)
A female United States age 30-35, *3chelciemarie writes:

Back story: I started seeing this guy back in February, but ONLY as a hookup (my intention at the time, since I was getting out of a 6 year relationship).

This lasted for a couple months, and near the end of the couple months, I realized I was starting to like him, and started to pursue activities outside of sex. It didn't really start to go in that direction, so the relationship ended up fizzling out, where I stopped responding to meet ups.

Fast forward to 3 months later, and I pretty much had forgotten about him, until he reached out to me through text.

He wanted to catch up and take me out to dinner, since it had been a while.

I was reluctant at first. but eventually ended up meeting him. We had a really great time, and had some honest conversations about why things ended. I told him I didn't want to mess around this time and wanted to try and date him and get to know him on a more serious level, and that was what my intentions were back when we fizzled out in May. He told me he wanted to try and see me again because he really started to "reflect" on his life the last couple months and realized he wanted someone more serious , and someone who had goals in their life, and realized that I was that to him.

We ended up seeing each other over the course of a month, 1-2 times a week. He seemed to really be putting in effort,(going on dates, coming to my birthday, etc.)

But recently in the last week I noticed he was starting to seem a bit distant.

This past weekend on Friday, he send me a Snapchat, and I respond saying he should come meet me out (I was with a group of friends). He doesn't respond until the next morning, apologizing, but says he'll be going out that night. I tell him I'll be working, but he should come visit the bar I work at, he says he'll try to stop by. He doesn't come, and Sunday morning he texts me that he's so sorry he didn't come but wants to make it up to me and asks when I am free again.

Seeing that the next day was Labor day, I invite him to my friends Labor Day party, he responds 8 hours later(again apologizing for being busy) asking what time it's at. I tell him the time it starts.

I don't get a text until actual Labor Day morning and he says he does;t think he can make it because he already has another Labor Day party at that exact time.

I try to respond in a mature and positive way and say "No worries, we'll be there the whole day so you're welcome to come by after, but otherwise have a good labor day!"

He never responds. It is now Wednesday, I haven't said anything since that text, but I still haven't heard anything from him..

I kinda feel like he's ghosting, and I'm confused as to what my reaction should be.

I'm hurt because I feel like he shouldn't have acted like he had intentions to want something more "serious" and then suddenly back away a month in. And before anyone says that maybe I came on too strong or something, I literally never really texted him much, and most of our dates were either planned by him or mutually planned. (We were both pursuing mutually).

So my question is, should I say something? Or should I just wait and see if he'll come to me. If someone is truly interested in you they would make an effort. He flaked 3 time in 1 weekend, and he told me to let me know when I was free, I did, and he did;t find any compromise for it.

Or am I just overreacting, and should I just contact him and ask to see him?

I can't tell what this guys intentions are anymore, and I don't know if I should just walk away. Thanks :)

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (8 September 2018):

N91 agony auntVery simple - Block, delete, move on.

When you’re trying to forget someone, always block their number. Messers have a habit of getting back in touch in future to try and scramble your head all over again as seen here.

No need to call him out, you’ve seen his bullshit first hand, just move on silently.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 September 2018):

Honeypie agony auntJust block him and move on.

He is wasting your time. And you are wasting yours ON him.

He LIKED the idea of a serious relationship and did make an effort.. for a couple of months and now has come to realize he doesn't realllllly want a serious relationship or a relationship with you. Instead of telling you, he "showed" you by being SUPER late in replying to texts that actually required an answer and then to be "busy" and lastly canceling last minute with the lamest excuse he could muster.

He might have been good for a f-buddy thing but not a serious relationship.

So just block/delete him and move on.

And WAIT with the sexy stuff until you and the guy are serious about an actual relationship.

Chin up and good luck.

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