A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HelloThis is not so much a dating question or anything, but I have used this website before for advice and found it helpful.A girl I have been on and off chatting to asked me if she could borrow £1000 to repair her damaged car. I agreed under the basis she was going through some difficult circumstances at the time.She said she would pay me back when she got paid. She got paid 3 weeks ago now and is adamant she sent me the money back. I have definitely not received it and have sent her screenshots to prove as such. She has also sent a screenshot showing that she sent it, but I'm sceptical because I don't understand how she could have paid me without me giving her my bank details (she said she just sent it straight back to the account I sent it to her from...but normally in UK bank accounts, only the name shows up from a person who has sent you money and you need further details if you were to transfer money to them). The girl has since blocked me on numerous forms of communication, so Its difficult to contact her.What would people advise I do next?Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2018): I'm sorry that this happened to you, you sound like a decent guy. I would try to get her to admit that you had an agreement (even if this was a verbal agreement, if she can agree to this over messenger that she was meant to pay you back) that might help you. I agree with the others about going to Citizens Advice. You can take her to court; providing she admits that there was an agreement to pay this money back, then you have a valid case.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (20 September 2018):
 I'm not a lawyer/barrister and not familiar with English laws so I can't say.
Which is why I suggest you contact Citizen's Advice.
My guess is you also have a "paper-trail" of her ASKING to borrow the 1,000? Or was that over the phone?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2018): Original Poster here:
I am still in some form of contact with her, she is still insistent she sent the money. I am going to try and get her to admit that we had an agreement in place. I did the original transaction by bank transfer, so there is a paper trail there.
If I got her to say that we had an agreement in place, could this work as evidence legally?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2018): [EDIT]
Corrections:
"The transfer agent can confirm if the transaction was made. They can provide the date, time, and their location. The other end would confirm its receipt of funds."
She cutoff contact, because she stole your money.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2018): You have wobbly legal-legs to stand on. You have no signed agreement she would repay the money, no evidence you ever gave her the money, and she could always claim it was a gift.
Kiss the money goodbye! Lest she have an attack of conscience.
The transfer agent can confirm if the transactions was made. They can provide the date, time, and their location. The other end would confirm it's receipt of funds.
If you have a text message where she admits she would pay the money back, you have one wobbly leg; but then you have to prove how much you gave her. You kept no collateral, and can't present any corroborating evidence any monetary exchange ever occurred between you. Your withdrawal slip will not verify what you did with the cash. Do you have a witness?
There's a receipt if there was a wire-transfer of money. Money doesn't move without a paper-trail. Screenshots don't mean squat; unless there's a receipt that she sent money from point-A to point-B. Why would she block you; if she promised to repay you in good-faith? You fill-out a tranfer form and sign the receipt to confirm the transfer of funds.
Don't lend people money. Let them borrow from a bank.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (17 September 2018):
 If you can't contact her, then you have a problem. If you CAN get hold of her, insist on going to her bank with her to find out what happened to the payment. Obviously, if she is lying (which sounds highly likely), she will refuse to go. If she is genuine, she will want to sort it out.
As she has blocked you, it sounds like you have been had.
Lesson for the future: never lend money you cannot afford to lose, and certainly not to someone you have only chatted with.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (17 September 2018):
 Did you get some kind of repayment schedule in writing? If not I think it will be hard to reclaim the money.
If you didn’t give her your bank details then it’s absolutely impossible for her to have sent you the money back. There’s no way it would show another persons bank account number and sort code on a transaction record.
It’s pretty obvious that she’s lying but without any written agreement I can’t see you getting the money back. I could be wrong though, maybe try and consult legal advice.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (17 September 2018):
 She's obviously lying and you've been fleeced.
Do you know where she stays? You need to somehow contact her and ensure that you prove to her that you haven't received the money. And as aunt honeypie says, contact a lawyer. The amount is too big to let go of and you shouldn't.
Take it as the lesson of a lifetime. Don't ever lend money to anyone, least of all to someone you barely know.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 September 2018):
Contact Citizen's advice. You might even be able to find a lawyer who can help you sort this out.
She is obviously lying.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2018): I'm very sorry but it's unlikely you will see this money again. Is the person you sent the money to based in the UK? Keep copies of all communications sent to her and go to citizens advice as they may be able to guide you. I wish you luck but next time don't lend money you can't afford to lose.
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