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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Need to get over someone quite pronto...too distracting!
Q. I feel like a right mug for feeling this way about someone...almost like an infatuated teenager who is inferring way too much for their own good. I was hoping for a sympathetic ear to give a bit of advice on what the decent thing to do is in this ...
A. 4 September 2013: You mention the 'cultural background' with her living with her family - then it would seem quite likely perhaps that she has a boyfriend back in the country where she came from. Is this an Asian culture by any chance? Again perhaps it could be an ... (read in full...)
Need to get over someone quite pronto...too distracting!
Q. I feel like a right mug for feeling this way about someone...almost like an infatuated teenager who is inferring way too much for their own good. I was hoping for a sympathetic ear to give a bit of advice on what the decent thing to do is in this ...
A. 3 September 2013: It does seem odd that she has never mentioned a man in her life after you have spent a lot of time together - can this other colleague be trusted? I'm not sure who you should believe in this, so best thing to do is talk to the girl you like.
Dont ... (read in full...)
I got horrific razor burn and ingrown hairs from shaving my groin. How can I make it go away and avoid it happening again?
Q. My girlfriend told me she prefers a man that is shaved in the groin. I've always just trimmed fairly short, but I figured I would give shaving a shot if it is what she likes. I've only ever shaved my face so I wasn't too experience with what to do ...
A. 22 August 2013: Gosh what is the world coming to when women want their men to be shaved down there!
Get yourself a new girlfriend, seriously. Or tell her you are not a pre-pubescent boy and dont want to resemble a 12 year old therefore you are not giving i... (read in full...)
I feel a bit badly for dumping my FWB for a new boyfriend!
Q. Hey, Ok so I would love some guys points of views here as I have NO idea what to think. Ive been in a friends with benefits relationship with a guy for about 2 years now, its been great really, we are great friends and its not all just physical, I...
A. 22 August 2013: A FWB is very simple - friends who have sex who dont have romantic feelings for each other. So you have done absolutely nothing wrong here, you were having no strings attached sex with a friend, and now a nice guy who you have real feelings for has ... (read in full...)
Someone needs to tell him he's hurting people!
Q. So... Two and a half months ago my ex dumped me out of the blue no clear warning signs no nothing, just the explaination of I don't see it lasting! We'd been together btw prior to this ten months and he'd promised me basically the world telling me ...
A. 22 August 2013: If you try talking to him and telling him he's hurting people then you will just look like you are jealous and bitter, and that will give him so much satisfaction that he will ignore everything you say and instead go bragging to his friends about ... (read in full...)
Brother is running around with an older man and lied to me. I found out by snooping. Do I confront him?
Q. Hey-My brother went away on a trip and had me come and feed the fish at his place while he was gone. I'll admit I did a bit of snooping and found his password to his email...What I found shocked me! He has been having sex with another guy quite ...
A. 21 August 2013: No you should definitely not confront him about this. Clearly he is either bi or gay, and he's obviously not ready to come out to his family yet. So invading his privacy and then telling him its 'gross' will confirm why he didnt want to tell his ... (read in full...)
Are boobs that important to guys?
Q. Hello! Ok so I am a 17 year old girl, and very small and thin... If any of you know who Ariana Grande is (singer/actress) I basically have the exact body type as her. Short, petite, and thin. Unfortunately that also means I really don't have boobs ...
A. 19 August 2013: The boy that was mean to you is just an idiot who was probably trying to act cool in front of his friends - I would ignore everything he said as he's just an immature little boy.
There are some men out there who love boobs, so perhaps you will... (read in full...)
The girl I like fancies someone else?
Q. There is a girl I really like at work we are friendly and slightly flirty but she's completely besotted with this other guy. I hate it because this guy sits right in front I have to see her going up to him talking to him with him for ages and ...
A. 15 August 2013: There's nothing you can do unfortunately - she knows he's engaged yet still fancies him so that says a lot about her character too, I bet she'd be willing to be one of the girls he has on the side so that's pretty awful of her if you ask me, if you ... (read in full...)
How do I let my boyfriend know that I don't want a ring?
Q. This may be a bit of an odd question, but it's a subject I'd rather not bring up with women I know personally because so many of them are so materialistic. My boyfriend and I are not engaged, but we are getting serious and from comments he has ...
A. 14 August 2013: See if you can be really casual about it - if you are flicking through TV channels and come across a wedding show (there are always some daft reality wedding shows on) that would be a perfect time to mention 'ugh I hate engagement rings, I hate how ... (read in full...)
My married ex called me to say he still has feelings for me. I feel the same but what should I do?
Q. I'm 21 years old my whole life I have only had 3 serious relationships. I have a 2 year old with my ex. We broke up march 15th of last year and it was so hard i was devastated i thought i'd never get over it. I always knew that he was the one but ...
A. 13 August 2013: He is always going to be special because he is your daughter's father, but dont let that confuse you for feeling something more than you actually do.
The problem here is that you are hurting after a bad relationship, and your ex is familiar... (read in full...)
Does my husband really love me when he still wants to go to his ex's house?
Q. Hey everyone im new to this site. Im not sure where to start. But i am very heartbroken my husband and i have been married for over a year we had only been dating for a month then we got married. My husband has a daughter from a previous ...
A. 13 August 2013: Erm no he doesnt love you and to be honest (sorry to be harsh) your marriage was never going to work from the start - you got married before you even knew each other properly and you rushed into it, forcing him to do something he didnt want.
... (read in full...)
Your first love: Do you ever really get over them?
Q. Do you ever truly get over your first love? It has been almost four years and I have been in a relationship for a while, but I still catch my self remininscing of the past. We were together for 2 years. ...
A. 13 August 2013: Yes. My first love was when I was 15, I was head over heels for him and we were each others 'firsts' for everything. It was hard to get over him, and of course it is natural to think back to when you were together - but I'd never want him back plus ... (read in full...)
How can I trust him when he was having webcam sex with his ex for months?
Q. Hi, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to handle my situation. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. I thought we were happy in every aspect, and I could tell him anything, and I thought also could tell me anything. He ...
A. 13 August 2013: I dont think you can trust him again, ever. You are 100% right - he is not taking any blame for this, he has every excuse under the sun for his actions and worst of all he would have never came clean about this, he only told you because he was ... (read in full...)
My 14 year old daughter gets attention from older guys
Q. Hi, I have a 14 year old daughter and if you looked at her (the way she dresses her makeup and how she acts) you would think she's at least 16. This doesn't worry me, she's very mature and beautiful and most people can't believe she's just 14. She's ...
A. 13 August 2013: There is not a lot you can do really - and just try and trust your daughter that she is not interested in boys and wont be interested in these older boys giving her attention.
You could also have a talk with her, explain to her that because ... (read in full...)
I came on to my female boss while drunk. She was sober and didn't stop me! Now what?
Q. I'm a 19 year old lesbian and I've been attracted to my 56 year old boss for nearly 2 years now. She's married and has 3 grown children, her family is a church-going Christian family, and she'd made it clear that she doesn't agree with my "lifestyle ...
A. 30 July 2013: Ok so yes what is going on is not great, but it doesnt make you a terrible person - you at least tried to tell her how you felt but she ignored it anyway.
Is her marriage over? No, she is very much still married - she has not left her husband,... (read in full...)
I came on to my female boss while drunk. She was sober and didn't stop me! Now what?
Q. I'm a 19 year old lesbian and I've been attracted to my 56 year old boss for nearly 2 years now. She's married and has 3 grown children, her family is a church-going Christian family, and she'd made it clear that she doesn't agree with my "lifestyle ...
A. 26 July 2013: Yes there are judgmental people on this site, just like there are around the world. However if you are in a mess and need help then even if you get 10 replies and 9 are judgmental, there will be 1 that is kind and helpful that will be of use to you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me he already sees the end and when he's ready he will leave me
Q. My boyfriend and I have been officially dating since mid may, but have been talking as friends for about 10 months prior to that. He's a great guy that i enjoy talking and spending time with. I've Always had a 'thing' for him, and when we were just ...
A. 23 July 2013: Walk away. Simple as that. Yes you are just a fling, something fun to fill his time before he goes back to school in January.
Men are quite good at detaching emotions from sex and relationships, they can have fun with people and 'like' the girl... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend trying to change for me?
Q. This is going to be really complicated, so please bear with me...... I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years. She is 20, I am 26. I am in college, as is she. We are in a lot of classes together because we are in the same degree program. Ini...
A. 19 July 2013: If you havent heard from her in over a week and she's refusing to answer your calls and texts, then that's a pretty clear sign you have broken up!
What you are forgetting is her age - she is only 20, she's just a baby and communication is not goin... (read in full...)
I came on to my female boss while drunk. She was sober and didn't stop me! Now what?
Q. I'm a 19 year old lesbian and I've been attracted to my 56 year old boss for nearly 2 years now. She's married and has 3 grown children, her family is a church-going Christian family, and she'd made it clear that she doesn't agree with my "lifestyle ...
A. 19 July 2013: God knows where you heard that anti-gay people are secretly gay, what utter nonsense. 99% of anti-gay people are just afraid of something that is different to the norm, they are poorly educated and ignorant. That doesnt make them gay.
I think wh... (read in full...)
Need to choose between two guys
Q. A few months ago I was becoming quite lonely with few friends and was dying to be in a relationship with someone who cares about me and who I can care about. I guess my confidence got better and now I have more friends and ,now, I have fallen for ...
A. 19 July 2013: Problem with guy 1 is that there is no way that you can have a serious relationship with someone that lives so far away, and you havent even met in real life so you dont know that you will have that chemistry face to face anyway. Save yourself the ... (read in full...)
I feel inadequate because she loves someone with money more
Q. I need some help, lately I've been feeling inadequate in competing for the affections of a girl I'm apparently not even in the running for. I'm in love with my best friend, which she knows, and she's always telling me about her other friend who's ...
A. 19 July 2013: The simple fact of it all, money or no money, is that she likes HIM not you. It might be that she loves his money, she might love the way he looks, she might love his personality....or it might be a combination of everything. But at the end of the ... (read in full...)
I don't think I'm going to be the smartest any more, any tips?
Q. Im known as a super smart kid in mt school. next year im going to a charter school for eighth grade.its a brand new school just built. and all the kids there are super geniuses. like sheldon cooper smart.and im scared i wont be one of the smartest ...
A. 17 July 2013: Being the smartest doesnt mean necessarily that you will get the best grades, be the most successful or have the best future. Smart kids often take for granted how smart they are and dont work hard at improving themselves so they end up failing.
... (read in full...)
How is this for a profile on an online dating website?
Q. I am a member of a dating site, however I never know what different things to say in a reply that is mentioned in my profile. Here is my profile (is this too bland?): I am a happy-go-lucky guy with one life motto: Live life to the max! My f...
A. 16 July 2013: I dont think you need to change it, unless the website you are using gives priority to users that have 'updated' their profile (i.e. it moves your profile higher up in the search listings if you update it). If there is no benefit to updating i.e it ... (read in full...)
How is this for a profile on an online dating website?
Q. I am a member of a dating site, however I never know what different things to say in a reply that is mentioned in my profile. Here is my profile (is this too bland?): I am a happy-go-lucky guy with one life motto: Live life to the max! My f...
A. 16 July 2013: I would run a mile if I read a profile like that. here's why:
1. If it is a template I will have seen it on other guy's profiles, therefore I would think you are unoriginal, cant be bothered to think of anything to say that is actually about YO... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lies to authorities and tells them his parents are dead. Isn't that kind of sick?
Q. My partner is currently serving a prison sentence for violence towards me. At first he was being very apologetic saying it would never happen again and please dont leave him. Now he says to me that he doesnt trust me not to go to the police again ...
A. 15 July 2013: Erm its a bit 'sick' that he is violent towards you, and then tries to turn it back on you claiming he doesnt trust you to not go to the police again. That's basically him saying "when I get out of prison I will be violent towards you and I expect ... (read in full...)
Should I relax and give it a little longer to see if he files for divorce since we haven't been dating that long? or should I be ready to run as fast as I can?
Q. Ok so here is the issue, I have only been with my boyfriend since Jan. So not that long but we were pretty good friends for a year prior to starting a relationship... Thing is I knew in the beginning that he was separated from his wife, that she w...
A. 9 July 2013: Exactly - no matter how old you are there is no point in wasting your time with someone who is likely to get back with his ex and is just using you as a temporary measure. Plus you have a child to think about - your child will form an attachment to ... (read in full...)
Would you believe him? Or is this too weird?
Q. Ok, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We're both in our early 30's. Anyway, he's been living out of state for the last 5 months (on work) and is finally moving back here in 2 weeks. He hasn't found a solid place yet, but has the ...
A. 9 July 2013: Gosh you need to relax! If I were going to have to share a house with anyone then I'd look them up on Facebook, you can tell a lot from people's appearances so I wouldnt want to be living with a weirdo, so Facebook is brilliant for checking out what ... (read in full...)
What the heck happened? Why am I fantasizing about this guy?
Q. I have been engaged for two months and have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and am in the middle of planning a wedding. I love him very much. I have never thought about cheating but something crazy happened. I was at a work travel recently for 4 ...
A. 9 July 2013: You love your fiance but you allowed yourself to get intimate with another man, and now you are day-dreaming like a schoolgirl about being with this man. I dont think you truly 'love' your fiance, you are just fooling yourself that you are happy and ... (read in full...)
Does he miss me and want to get back together but is too scared to make the first move?
Q. My ex-boyfriend and I met on a dating site. We hit it off immediately and throughout our 6-month relationship he’d text/call everyday. He was still occasionally on the dating site where we met but I didn't say anything. We live in different cities ...
A. 9 July 2013: Regardless of his current communications with you, the simple fact is that he tried to make the relationship work but wasnt falling in love with you so ended it. He tried twice to see if the feelings would come, they did not so he did the grown up ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a guy to keep a booty call around for 2 years?
Q. Okay, so 2 years ago I moved back home and decided to try out the internet dating deal. I met a few nice guys but nothing really went anywhere, except with one guy, sort of. We met a month or so after talking and seemed to hit it off. We always had ...
A. 9 July 2013: Yes a guy can keep a girl as a booty call for 2 years or more - if the girl keeps giving him sex why would he stop? He would only stop when he meets another girl, and at present your girl doesnt have another girl so you will do for the time being. ... (read in full...)
Should I relax and give it a little longer to see if he files for divorce since we haven't been dating that long? or should I be ready to run as fast as I can?
Q. Ok so here is the issue, I have only been with my boyfriend since Jan. So not that long but we were pretty good friends for a year prior to starting a relationship... Thing is I knew in the beginning that he was separated from his wife, that she w...
A. 9 July 2013: If you had only been dating a couple of months I'd say dont bring it up and wait and see. However it is now approaching 6 months that you have been with him, ok not quite soon enough to be getting really serious but equally you are allowed to be ... (read in full...)
Should I believe he doesn't really want to be with her? Or should I accept that he lied to my face and move on?
Q. My last year in college I met this guy who is only a year younger than me but 2 years behind me academically because of where his birthday falls. He and I got along well and were always friendly when we saw each other but didn't hang out. I ju...
A. 9 July 2013: He's stringing you both along, the fact that he said she was 'hot' (even if it was indirectly because she can speak another language) means that he is attracted to her and if he is calling her baby then if they are not in a relationship already then ... (read in full...)
My bf cheated with my best friend. How should I handle this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out nearly a year now, and he visits me at my university halls. Last night he cheated on me with my best friend at university. We were drinking in my halls, and about 12am I went upstairs to bed, as I've just had...
A. 14 June 2013: A drunken fumble with a stranger when you were away under the disguise of him missing you so much MIGHT have just about been forgiveable. However what he (and your so called best friend) has done is just disgusting and you are right, if you let it ... (read in full...)
Do you think rejection hurts worse than being cheated on?
Q. I understand rejection happens to all of us at some point, but damn I've been rejected twice in the past two months for the first time in my life. I'm trying to reevaluate where I might have messed up, or maybe it's not something I did, it's just me ...
A. 24 May 2013: The pain from being rejected is not even CLOSE to the pain you'd feel if you were cheated on. And that is for a very simple reason - you can only ever be 'rejected' by someone you have a crush on and want to date, you are not in a relationship with ... (read in full...)
Coworker flirted with me but dated another coworker instead?
Q. Coworker flirted with me but dated another coworker instead? A coworker flirted with me via email and in person for a few months. He stared at me all the time, emailed me but in some ways was reserved. I thought he was shy. He was actually flirting...
A. 22 May 2013: There is not a lot you can do, just write it off as experience and move on. Flirting is not a commitment to a relationship, you really should not build your hopes up based on a bit of office flirting.
Just be polite and friendly towards him and ... (read in full...)
Am I thinking right for a guy my age? Have I wasted my youth? Am I missing opportunities to meet girls?
Q. This may be daft a question but well I've had like 4 sexual partners from about 16-21 I'm now 25.. So that's 4 sexual partners in 9 years one relationship lasted 4 years and I got hurt in the end (a lot was my fault). I've been single for these...
A. 22 May 2013: There is no right and wrong, so what is right for one person is wrong for another. You said yourself, you prefer relationships, therefore sleeping around with multiple girls would not make you happy. So why would you bother doing something that ... (read in full...)
How could a guy like him fall for a girl like her?
Q. Thank you for taking the time to read my question. I have been dating the most wonderful man, Jeff, for about a year now, I have met his parents and he’s met mine, we’re planning to get married early next year. Everything’s perfect and I may be j...
A. 22 May 2013: Gosh you really are creating a mountain out of a molehill here. He asked her out because he was bored and caved into family pressure, of course he wasnt in love with her!
Imagine if you had your family nagging at you constantly to get into a r... (read in full...)
Is there a lie I can make up to get myself out of this awkward situation or do I have to tell the truth?
Q. I recently meet a guy online and we've been on a few dates. I really like him and I see a future there and so does he. But I'm constantly sneaking behind my families back because I'm too ashamed to tell them I met someone online. I've met peo...
A. 22 May 2013: Just tell the truth - loads of people meet online these days, online dating has been around for years now and there is no longer the same stigma attached to it as there used to be.
I used to be like you, with my ex boyfriends that I met online (... (read in full...)
Had the second date and I really like her, but she's not responded to my texts for a week!
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I have been on two dates with a wonderful woman and over the course of these dates I have found out that she is perfect for me in every way. The problem is that even though the dates were successful it seems that I'm n...
A. 22 May 2013: The thing is YOU had a good time, there is no way of knowing if she had a good time or not. She might have said 'I had a great time' but again she seems to be one of these cowardly types so would probably rather lie than hurt your feelings by saying ... (read in full...)
Are relationships at 19 inevitably pointless?
Q. I'm 19 and currently at university, and I'm quite focused on stuff like my career, my studies, developing a good personality and making long-lasting friendships as that seems to be stuff that will last me for life and actually matter. Because I...
A. 21 May 2013: This is a very interesting question, and you are going to get a lot of varied responses. Taking my group of friends for example, there are 7 girls including me. 2 of my friends are still with their boyfriends who they met at 15 and 16 respectively, ... (read in full...)
Had the second date and I really like her, but she's not responded to my texts for a week!
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I have been on two dates with a wonderful woman and over the course of these dates I have found out that she is perfect for me in every way. The problem is that even though the dates were successful it seems that I'm n...
A. 21 May 2013: Sorry but I think it is a case of 'she's just not that into you'. Clearly she wanted to see what happened after the 1st date because she was texting you and calling you. Now she has ignored you for a week, so the 2nd date (in her eyes) was not a ... (read in full...)
How is this for a profile on an online dating website?
Q. I am a member of a dating site, however I never know what different things to say in a reply that is mentioned in my profile. Here is my profile (is this too bland?): I am a happy-go-lucky guy with one life motto: Live life to the max! My f...
A. 5 March 2013: Yes I'd definitely put up a new picture, the key with dating sites is to always be honest so rather than picking a photo from years ago where you look great, show a picture of how you look now. And if you can upload more than 1 photo, then that is ... (read in full...)
How is this for a profile on an online dating website?
Q. I am a member of a dating site, however I never know what different things to say in a reply that is mentioned in my profile. Here is my profile (is this too bland?): I am a happy-go-lucky guy with one life motto: Live life to the max! My f...
A. 5 March 2013: That's much better, I'd just lose the 2 references to crying (men crying is not particularly attractive to women!) and remove the part about 'washing' your food down with alcoholic drinks. Makes it sound like you cant eat without having an alcoholic ... (read in full...)
How is this for a profile on an online dating website?
Q. I am a member of a dating site, however I never know what different things to say in a reply that is mentioned in my profile. Here is my profile (is this too bland?): I am a happy-go-lucky guy with one life motto: Live life to the max! My f...
A. 4 March 2013: I think it is just lacking in details really, it is very generic and I bet most males or females could use your profile to describe themselves. There is nothing on this that makes you unique, or would give a woman any idea what you are interested ... (read in full...)
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