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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Been dumped by boyfriend - have a few questions on how to move on or how to get him back?
Q. I have been recently dumped by my bf over text with no real explanation. He refuses to reply when I ask for an explanation. One of the reasons may be me recently being needy and constantly calling.I'm trying to move on as this is my only option. I ...
A. 9 April 2013: I dont think I've ever heard of 'no contact' winning an ex back, however the main use for 'no contact' is to help the person who has been dumped to move on.
He clearly has given up too easily, and is a great big coward for not even having t... (read in full...)
Sex after marriage vs sex if in a long term relationship, what is right?
Q. I'm in college, have never slept with anyone/had a boyfriend and I'm still undecided as to whether to do so before I get married (I'm also Christian though I wasn't raised religious). I would never sleep around but at the moment I feel it's unfair ...
A. 9 April 2013: It is a personal choice, and everyone's opinion is going to vary so dont listen to any one person in particular.
However I will say that while your first time is special (as long as it is with someone you are in a long term relationship with and... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to cheat if our sex life has sunk to the point of nothing? And possible ED that he will not seek help for.
Q. Is it wrong to cheat if your sexlife with your partner is zero? My partner is 43 and I 37. He doesn't have a high sex drive and over the past 6 months we have only been intimate twice. When we are intimate he completely focuses on himself and u...
A. 8 April 2013: I think you are actually looking for a relationship, you are just hiding behind the sex issue and not dealing with the other problems.
Look at your own post:
"We aren't a very close couple and don't talk about our feelings"
"we are more room ma... (read in full...)
My current Bf and I have sunk into "too comfortable to be romantic". So how should I handle this growing closeness with my ex-boyfriend?
Q. I have been dating the same man for two and a half years now. We were high school sweethearts and he did everything so wonderfully. His parents hated me and he stood up for me, even when they told him it was me or them. He picked me. But then fou...
A. 8 April 2013: This is quite simple - if the other guy (your ex/best friend) wanted a relationship, then you would leave your boyfriend for him right?
So that shows you are ready and willing to leave your boyfriend. You have already cheated on him by giving a... (read in full...)
I just don't "get" this guy during some moments with him. Can you suggest why he behaves the way he does? Thanks.
Q. Hi, So few days ago i started dating this guy, which i never paid attention to, but he always did at me. And he kissed me and it was great like he will be careful, he is a gentleman,etc. He even met me with his friends later on on that day. S...
A. 5 April 2013: Ok I'll go through your questions one by one:
1. how to be 100% sure he likes me? There is no way to be 100% sure in the early stages of dating. Love and relationships are risks, you invest your feelings into someone with no guarantee how they fee... (read in full...)
What actions should I take to protect myself from this demanding girl who's behaviour concerns me?
Q. I got talking to this girl on a dating website on Wednesday. She asked me firstly would I pay for sex! Obviously, I said no. I gave her my number and I thought all was legitimate, until she asked for £2500 to 'make her flat habitable' because ...
A. 5 April 2013: As Oldbag has said - block any possible way for her to contact you. Block her on the dating site and report her to the site admin as she will be trying to scam more than one man, the site needs to be aware of her. Call your network provider (Orange, ... (read in full...)
HOW do I stop being so foolish with and about this man who treated me so appallingly?
Q. So. This isn't really a big deal, but it is something I find really frustrating. I have a bit of a complicated situation with a guy I was with about a year ago. I met him in my home country, we had a fling for a couple of weeks, and then he went...
A. 5 April 2013: How do you stop being so foolish? By cutting contact with him and never speaking to him again. You cannot be friends with someone who you still have feelings for, end of story. And there is no way to force your feelings to go, so you are stuck - ... (read in full...)
I'm a shy girl so what would be the best way for me to proceed with my crush?
Q. Hi guys There's this boy I really like in the year above. A few months ago we were on a school holiday together and apparently he said he liked me, though at the time I had a boyfriend. This relationship finished soon after for other reasons an...
A. 5 April 2013: It sounds like he likes you, so maybe you could start giving him some signs that you like him back? Are you friends on Facebook? If you are, start liking his pictures and try chatting to him on there. Smile at him whenever you see him and if you ... (read in full...)
Lost feelings for my husband, fell for another guy ...
Q. I am 33 and have been married for 3 year, dating for 5. I was coming out of a bad relationship and this older, successful man came into my life. after 2 years, i figured it was time to get married. I started doubting my happiness in my marriage ...
A. 5 April 2013: You have already broken all of your marriage vows, and even in the face of your husband trying his best to fix it you still dont care and are still trying to continue your affair.
You dont love or respect your husband at all, and he deserves... (read in full...)
I have a crush, but is the age difference too much?
Q. This is not like me but I've got a crush on a girl who is 18. I have never been attracted to a girl with that big of an age difference and I kinda of feel weird aboit it. I'm 30. When I first met this girl I thought she was 22-24, and that is right ...
A. 5 April 2013: 12 years isnt a huge age gap, but the issue is her current age of 18 years old. Aged 18 she is going to be in a very different stage of life to you, and while she might act mature she certainly wont have the life experience you have nor will she be ... (read in full...)
Friend tried to get me to sleep with him, even though I have a boyfriend. Advice?
Q. Okay. Recently I have got back with my ex-boyfriend, things have been okay between us, and I guess for once things are looking up. However there is a slight problem. Me and my boyfr...
A. 4 April 2013: I think you have done the right thing yes. You have told your friend to stop being inappropriate, and he has agreed so he shouldnt do it again. So in this case there is no need to tell your boyfriend, hopefully that should be the end of it. But if ... (read in full...)
Is there any way out of this clash of values and attitudes? She wants to stop having sex until the wedding day (no date set for wedding yet)
Q. Hello, This is a bit long-winded but I hope you enjoy the ride. It's certainly been interesting for me. The backstory: I'm a 33 y/o professional traveling musician from the states. Three years ago I met a lovely 33 y/o girl in Germany ...
A. 4 April 2013: Well what did she say when you told her it wasnt acceptable?
You are at a bit of a stand off really, and unfortunately one of you is going to have to back down or you both call it a day. Now I'm not condoning what she is doing (personally I think ... (read in full...)
Truly, was I just his back up girl ? Or was it all my fault ?
Q. Hi ! I met a guy online and dated him for a month. I thought he was serious because at our first date he asked me if I was talking to other people on the website. When I said no he said him either. Also he was asking me a lot about my future ...
A. 4 April 2013: It is obviously just personal opinion, some people may feel 6 months is realistic and others would disagree. I wouldnt wait 6 months either, to me by that point you should be exclusive and fairly committed to each other. To me personally I'd want to ... (read in full...)
Truly, was I just his back up girl ? Or was it all my fault ?
Q. Hi ! I met a guy online and dated him for a month. I thought he was serious because at our first date he asked me if I was talking to other people on the website. When I said no he said him either. Also he was asking me a lot about my future ...
A. 3 April 2013: You asked him if he was 'talking' to other people on the dating site, he answered no - so perhaps he was telling the truth. Being 'active' on a dating site is very different to 'talking' to people, logging on once a week to check your messages and ... (read in full...)
Truly, was I just his back up girl ? Or was it all my fault ?
Q. Hi ! I met a guy online and dated him for a month. I thought he was serious because at our first date he asked me if I was talking to other people on the website. When I said no he said him either. Also he was asking me a lot about my future ...
A. 3 April 2013: I think it was more your fault I'm afraid, but it was an honest mistake. With online dating 99% of people on these sites date multiple people at the same time, until they meet someone they really like and then it becomes exclusive. It would be ... (read in full...)
How can I go about making new friends?
Q. Ok I'm looking for some advice about making friends. Basically I'm 27 and I went through a painful break up about 4 months ago. I'm currently back living with my parents, but I've noticed I don't seem to have much of a social life any more so I'm a ...
A. 2 April 2013: A flatshare is a good idea, just be careful about vetting the housemates who already live there before you move in. What I mean by that is chances are they may well already have boyfriends/girlfriends, and then the boyfriend/girlfriend is round the ... (read in full...)
Time to let go? How do you know when you're not in love anymore?
Q. Dear cupid, I would like some advice and opinions on my situation. This may get a bit confusing so I apologize and will be happy to answer any questions you guys may have. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. He is the only serious...
A. 2 April 2013: There is no difference between 'love' and being 'in love', that is just nonsense that people make up as a poor excuse for breaking up with someone.
Loving someone is being attached to them, it is being so close to that person that you cant ima... (read in full...)
Is looking for the right moment to propose? Or is he delaying for another reason? He backs away now, from discussing our future.
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for two years now. In the beginning, we were madly in love and everything was perfect. We talked about marriage, having kids, our entire future. Now since it has been two years now, I have moved to a new city with ...
A. 2 April 2013: What should you do? Sorry to say this but stop acting like a spoilt princess and just be patient! He has bought the ring for god's sake, what more do you want?! His big moment was ruined, he will now be trying to re-do all his plans and make sure it ... (read in full...)
Do I hope for too much too soon? Sick of being "the other one". I know it may sound dramatic, but I need any form of guidance or help. Please?
Q. I have a huge dilemma, I thought I could get text one of my friends for help. Alas, I feel so helpless and I didn't know where to turn from here. So I met this guy on a phone app not a hooking up app, he hit me up first. We quickly started ...
A. 2 April 2013: Ok you just need to slow down, calm down and take a deep breath. From the sounds of things, you have only recently started talking to this guy and you havent even met him in person yet. I know you think this is love, but you cannot love someone you ... (read in full...)
How can I get out of this unsatisfying relationship? I want him to leave.
Q. Stuck in a Rutt and can't get out! My live in man is 45. We split briefly last year and I now totally regret us getting back together. He set up home on his own after our strained relationship failed due to his abusive behaviour. After almost a yea...
A. 2 April 2013: First of all I'm sure he is just being bitter when he said he wont see the children, if he is their father of course he will want to see them, he is just saying that for effect. He has to pay child maintenance, so legally he will be tied to the ... (read in full...)
Hurt my Current BF to be with my EX , but the man I dumped is not coping HELP
Q. I have a very big problem. So. I had been dating a very nice individual, lets call him bob, for about 7 months and I thought we were very much in love. A few months before I broke it off with him I started to feel distant and then I felt love, but...
A. 2 April 2013: There is no way to 'do it' so to speak, you simply have to come out with it and tell him. If you have been emailing each other, then do it via email. Simply tell him you are sorry to have to tell him this but you wanted him to hear it from you, that ... (read in full...)
Is 23 years later too late to return to a relationship?
Q. Is it ever okay to return to a relationship -in my case that happened 23 years ago- and try again? "John" and I were going steady (in our relationship) till his band went on the road. Well, true to most musicians...he cheated. I found out and left ...
A. 27 March 2013: I think 23 years is long enough to know for certain that both of you have changed as people, so if the feelings are still there then go for it.
Presumably 23 years ago (if he is the same age as you) then he was 18-27, so he was young and dumb, mo... (read in full...)
Should I date a young single mother?
Q. I'm a 24 year old male. I have recently been spending a lot of time getting to know a young mother, she's 19. We have tons in common and we seem to be a great fit for each other. Does anyone have any insight for me as to why or why not to possibly ...
A. 27 March 2013: I guess it all boils down to the question - are you happy raising another man's child? Do you want a child in your life right now?
Eventually if you have been together long enough then you will meet the child, and if you allow that to happen t... (read in full...)
Is My Ex worth taking back
Q. Hi is this man worth giving another chance? I miscarried beginning of february i was gutted the next day my boyfriend started arguing with me then 4 days later he split up with me i really loved him but he hurt me so much what should i do any ...
A. 27 March 2013: You havent given much information for us to base an opinion on - ideally we'd need to know how long you have been together, do you live together, was the relationship good before the miscarriage, why were you arguing after the miscarriage, what was ... (read in full...)
Is it too much to expect that he at least acknowledge the gift?
Q. Dear Cupid I bought a really expensive gift for my bf and sent it to him. He received his gift today and i called him to check whether he liked it or not, even sent him a message. No response for anything. I called again and he yelled at me...
A. 26 March 2013: "told if i ever call him again he is gonna kill me." putting the awful threat of killing you aside, I think this means he has broken up with you I'm afraid.
Yes he should have said thank you and been grateful for the gift, however if he thinks y... (read in full...)
Nothing below the belt - My belt not his!
Q. I am a 28 year old female and I am a virgin (Vaginally and Anally), Although I have given a few (2 to count them) blowjobs I have never had the desire to have full intercourse and when the option has come up I would start to shake or even cry and ...
A. 26 March 2013: I think you should seek help from a doctor and a therapist, there is clearly something psychologically going on that is stopping you from enjoying sexual contact and there will be a reason for this.
Dont carry on suffering in silence, there wi... (read in full...)
I think he might have been the one. He's dating someone else now. Should I tell him how I feel?
Q. Help!! Should I tell him how I feel? 9 months ago I finished dating a guy I had been seeing for 14 months. I hadn't slept with him because I have always wanted to wait for the 'right one' also I was going away travelling for two months so didn't...
A. 26 March 2013: He is clearly happy with his new girlfriend, they are living together so it must be very serious. Dont try and get in the way of his happiness, I'm sure you dont want to be a homewrecker so just leave him alone.
He left you, he moved on with som... (read in full...)
Is it right to trust your gut instinct about dating someone?
Q. Ok so some people are gonna think I'm mad for this post.. But is it right to trust your gut instinct? Basically about 3 months ago this man I was seeing just stopped speaking to me, no reason, no nothing, just didn't turn up one might when we were ...
A. 26 March 2013: I wouldnt say 'insane', but as eyeswideopen said, this is futile, and entirely pointless waste of your time.
I do know how you feel, I was dating a guy a few years ago who was so into me, things were going great, then all of a sudden he text me ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend about a drunken fumble with her boyfriend?
Q. I recently went on a weekend away with my boyfriend, two of my friends and their boyfriends. We always go out as a group and all get along really well. One night we was playing drinking games and everyone ended up naked. This is the first time ...
A. 25 March 2013: I think keep quiet personally, and just dont drink so much the next time you are with him. You have a boyfriend, he has a girlfriend and a baby, neither of you really rememeber what happened....there is no point in tearing a family apart and ruining ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend broke up with me when she is grieving! Help!
Q. Hi, I have read lots of different stories on here, and I feel like id like to vent, and also be able to have some people to talk to and for you all to give me advice, I would like to keep you all updated on every stage, and will come back regul...
A. 25 March 2013: At least you have understood your mistakes, you have pressured her way too much and been very needy when it was her that should have been 'needy' in light of the situation.
I have an ex, and when we were together his dad died. We had been together... (read in full...)
Do you think he is into me or just waiting for sex?
Q. okay so i met this guy online he is like 4 years older.. we texted then skyped we hit it off we laughed and he liked my company that night we talked on the phone for like 4 hours, and we talked about everything he told me how many hook ups and ...
A. 25 March 2013: I think it sounds like it is going well, stop worrying and over-thinking things!
You cant 'make' him do anything, and I dont see why you should give up either because nothing bad has happened. Just meet up with him again, keep dating him for a wh... (read in full...)
Pregnant by a loser, don't want an abortion and neither want to give up for adoption?
Q. I am not sure what to do! This past Friday I found out that I am pregnant with my boyfriends second child. He does have a boy from another woman, so we have two children to take care of and now another. I have not told my boyfriend yet and as crazy ...
A. 25 March 2013: How on earth can a man intentionally get you pregnant? You are the one allowing him to have unprotected sex with you! Use birth control, then no man can impregnate you!
Anyway, that aside - if you dont want an abortion or to give the child up... (read in full...)
Hurt my Current BF to be with my EX , but the man I dumped is not coping HELP
Q. I have a very big problem. So. I had been dating a very nice individual, lets call him bob, for about 7 months and I thought we were very much in love. A few months before I broke it off with him I started to feel distant and then I felt love, but...
A. 25 March 2013: Can you speak to Bob's parents and let them know he is not coping well?
What Bob needs is space away from you to get over you, being close to you is not helping, he needs time when he doesnt speak to you or see you in order to get over you. I k... (read in full...)
Not sure I am in Love but I am my GF first BF and I am scared to shatter her dreams
Q. My girlfriend and me are facing a huge crisis and it's all my fault. We have had an amazing time together. I have found someone who loves me with all her heart and would do anything to make me happy. The trouble is, my feelings for her are not ...
A. 25 March 2013: "She loves me, I love her" - well then you dont have any problems. You are thinking back to your first love and you are punishing yourself for not feeling those same 'first love' feelings. Just because this love is not your first love, does not mean ... (read in full...)
In loved with a guy that is spoken for but unhappy
Q. Hello guys. I've known this fella for 3 years. He's in a very unhappy (unmarried) relationship.Unhappy on BOTH sides. They've been together 10+ years with property, finances and a business in both their names. He has feelings for me and he knows I ...
A. 25 March 2013: I dont think he was trying to tell you something, because you claim you already know that he has feelings for you - so why would he be trying to tell you something you already know?
I think he was just venting/having a little rant - you know he ... (read in full...)
Am I reading the signals right? Or am I in the friendzone?
Q. Hi there boys and girls! I need your help, anyway here it goes. There's this girl I meet at work just a month ago. I'm starting to like / have a crush on her. She's so beautiful that like in some ways, I haven't felt this way before. But the ...
A. 22 March 2013: NO NO NO NO NO!!! It is 100% irrelevant what she thinks of you, she has a boyfriend so its game over I'm afraid. There is absolutely nothing that can happen between you because she is already in a relationship.
A lot of people (men and women) f... (read in full...)
If you were in my shoes, would you stay?
Q. i've been seeing a girl for about four months now. i'm very happy with her and we have a very healthy relationship together. she tells me she definitely sees a future with me and i thought i did, too. my problem is that she told me today that sh...
A. 22 March 2013: 4 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things, so I'd just stay with her and see what happens. As you said, nothing is set in stone yet so you dont know what is going to happen. Wait and see, try not to worry about it and take each day as it ... (read in full...)
How do you know if a guy likes you, or if he just wants sex?
Q. Hi to anyone who can help me figure this out. Male agony "uncles", your views are wanted the most. What I wonder is, when do you know if a guy actually likes you, or if he's just after sex? I have this kinda complecated "thing" with a friend of...
A. 21 March 2013: 'What am I to him?' You are his FWB - that means Friends With Benefits. So you were already 'friends', and he gets 'benefits' from you in the form of sex.
How do you know if a guy likes you, or just wants sex? Well if he genuinely likes you and ... (read in full...)
I really like this girl. Should I try to interest her again? We broke up earlier.
Q. So I've known this girl for several years, we dated when we first met, but it didn’t work out because we were in school. We've been friends since then; we've fought and been there for each other through a lot. We hang out a lot, once I even ask...
A. 20 March 2013: When I read your post, I got the entirely opposite idea! To me, by going on about how much she is ENJOYING being single, that suggests she has no intention of getting a boyfriend any time soon and that she DEFINITELY does not want to get involved ... (read in full...)
My Wife Talking about sex toys with a collegue!
Q. Had a bit of a barney with my wife (of 5 months) last night. She said that she had a conversation with a male collegue about his business selling Sex Toys - I thought this was innapropriate and got the proverbial hump. Anway, thats not so much the ...
A. 20 March 2013: Well I can see it from her point of view to be honest - you completely over-reacted and created an issue out of nothing, so why should she pander to your every little need and run around after you trying to make it up to you when she did nothing ... (read in full...)
I don't want a divorce , so how do I stop my Husband from divorcing me?
Q. Im 23 from South Africa and currently seperated from my husband. He wants to get a divorce and I dont want to. Is there any way I can get him to go to counceling with me. We have a 1 year old baby and im 16 weeks pregnant. I love him and want us to ...
A. 20 March 2013: Well it sounds like there is not a lot you can do I'm afraid if there is a protection order against you, you cant really talk to him if his dad is pulling the strings so you just have to accept it unfortunately.
Speak to a lawyer and make sur... (read in full...)
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