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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Had the second date and I really like her, but she's not responded to my texts for a week!
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I have been on two dates with a wonderful woman and over the course of these dates I have found out that she is perfect for me in every way. The problem is that even though the dates were successful it seems that I'm n...
A. 22 May 2013: The thing is YOU had a good time, there is no way of knowing if she had a good time or not. She might have said 'I had a great time' but again she seems to be one of these cowardly types so would probably rather lie than hurt your feelings by saying ... (read in full...)
Had the second date and I really like her, but she's not responded to my texts for a week!
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I have been on two dates with a wonderful woman and over the course of these dates I have found out that she is perfect for me in every way. The problem is that even though the dates were successful it seems that I'm n...
A. 21 May 2013: Sorry but I think it is a case of 'she's just not that into you'. Clearly she wanted to see what happened after the 1st date because she was texting you and calling you. Now she has ignored you for a week, so the 2nd date (in her eyes) was not a ... (read in full...)
It upsets me that my son won't speak to me. Should my parents be offering him special treats, even though he disrespects me?
Q. I've fallen out with my son, about 6 months ago. I'm perfectly willing to discuss whatever's bothering him, and try and resolve it. He's 20 ,and a very strong character. He simply won't speak to me. He sees my parents about once a week, and I...
A. 21 May 2013: Well no I dont think its a good idea to blackmail anyone using a holiday home - it is your parent's house and if they want to offer it to a family member they are well within their rights to do so.
The issue between you and your son is for the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend tells other women he's single when he's not
Q. I don't know where to start, other than to say simply -- I'm conflicted. I have been with the same person for four and a half years, since I was 17 and he was 18. I was his first serious relationship, and we were each other's first loves. But he h...
A. 21 May 2013: There are 2 issues at play here, and I'm sorry to say but I honestly dont see a solution to this.
1. The age you both were when you got together, and being 'first loves'. He has never had the chance to play the field, he settled down young an... (read in full...)
Online dating: yay or nay?
Q. I signed up for an online dating site and received a few messages already. Then I realized I was too shy to even reply back to a simple message! Ugh! I thought I would give it a try but I'm still a little on the fence on whether it's a good ide...
A. 21 May 2013: Well I have used online dating a number of times, and the last time I used it (about 1 and a half years ago) I met my current boyfriend - we now live together and are talking about getting married.
Was it always a wonderful experience? No, ther... (read in full...)
My girlfriend chose me over him, but now she's depressed
Q. we have been going through a rocky patch for the last 3 weeks. my girlfriend called me friday night and appolagised for breaking up with me,she said that she had kissed another guy she had feelings for she said that she was sorry and had to tell me ...
A. 20 May 2013: This is going to sound weird but you are being too 'nice' to her and its not helping, its actually making things worse. Rolling over and accepting that she cheated on you and that everything is 'ok' is making you seem weak and less of a man to her. ... (read in full...)
Date asked if we could cut date short then said we'd go out for a drink but when the time came he never responded
Q. I went on a date last week with a guy I met online. We got on well, but after a few hours he said he had to leave to go to a friend's party. He asked me if I was free the next week to go for another drink. I said yes, we arranged to meet on a ...
A. 17 May 2013: Look, more often than not men are cowards, so instead of telling the truth they find it easier to lie to your face when they are blowing you off instead of simply saying 'sorry I'm not that interested in you, really sorry but I dont want to see you ... (read in full...)
Not crazy about my husband but feel I should stay for the child
Q. I really need some advice. i am in a marriage that fell apart. a part of me wants to stay because i have a young child with my husband. my husband and i met when we were 22. we have been together for 20 years. he was my first true love. it has been ...
A. 17 May 2013: I actually think the longer you stay in this marriage the more likely he is to brain-wash your child and turn her against you, so in fact if you stay with him you will damage the child more than if you ended the marriage.
You have made it clear... (read in full...)
Sex for the first time. Birth control options?
Q. I'm 22 years old and a virgin. I have been single for two years. During my previous relationships, I wasn't ready or interested in sex, but now I am. I've been dating a guy for a couple months. The relationship is still new, but I want to be ...
A. 17 May 2013: The idea that the pill makes you gain weight is a myth - yes it does alter your hormones in some cases but it does not cause you to pick up more cakes, put them in your mouth and stop exercising. Weight gain is down to eating more and exercising ... (read in full...)
Me and my uni friend are playful, but I want to tell her I like her
Q. I have a uni friend who I flirt playfully with quite a lot. I am a guy and she is a girl, and she always jokes about me 'being her boyfriend' or a future husband. I wouldn't say we are ultra close friends, which is how I like it, as I would actually ...
A. 16 May 2013: I dont really think there is any 'nice' way of doing it, if you make a grand gesture it will be a bit cheesy, whereas if you do it over text it is too impersonal.
When you are next alone with her, I'd just say to her (in a serious voice) somethin... (read in full...)
Will I cheat because I lost out in dating for a few years?
Q. Ok so i have just recently got my first girlfriend--at the age of 22. The reason is that im shy and i was scared i suppose, of what i dont know. Anyway im pleased that i have finally found someone. But i feel that i have missed out on so much. The ...
A. 16 May 2013: I guess you will have to weigh up what you want more - is your girlfriend worth being faithful to? Is she better than any other girl you could meet? Or is the desire to play the field stronger than your desire to be in a relationship? Are you only ... (read in full...)
How do I move on? I really need some help.
Q. This is my first post. I feel as if I have no where else to turn. A little over a month ago, I was dumped. We were together for a year and 4 months. I did not see the breakup coming.. His reasoning for the breakup was that he feels as if we h...
A. 16 May 2013: You will get through this I promise : ) your first love will take a while to get over, and I know this isnt what you want to hear but you may well be upset and crying over it for another 3 or 4 months to come!
Time is a great healer, but it doesn... (read in full...)
He has a bad-news friend that concerns me ...
Q. my boyfriend and i are in our mid to late twenties and have been together for almost a year. We truly love each other and I feel he is the one. We constantly are there for one another and and really love each other. With that being said witho...
A. 15 May 2013: Well to be honest I think you have just created an issue out of nothing! You have said yourself, your boyfriend isnt partying and drinking all the time - it is just his friend that does this and so far your boyfriend hasnt joined him.
Until... (read in full...)
I do everything for him and he does nothing for me! Is this love?
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship since 2 and half year now. I did so much for my fiancé that now days no one does. I got laser hair removal for 10,000, I gave him everything he asked me for, expensive perfumes, shampoos, glasses, iphone ...
A. 15 May 2013: I'm so sorry you have experienced this - you are just being used for money I'm afraid, he has fully exploited you and has no interest in anything else other than the contents of your bank account.
You have been too soft on him for too long, th... (read in full...)
Can you be happy and have fun in life if you don't have any friends?
Q. How can you be happy and have fun in life without having friends? Is it possible? I've always been kind of a loner, and I don't really know what to do with my free time. I feel really lonely and I feel like you have to have friends to be happy...
A. 15 May 2013: I guess I wouldnt call myself a loner, but then again I'm not the sort to have loads of friends or spend much time with friends.
I fill my time with hobbies - my main one is horses so despite working full time during the week, I ride 4 times a ... (read in full...)
I'd like to take a break to give my boyfriend time to miss me but will have no one around to bolster me
Q. I'd like to take a break from my boyfriend for about three weeks in order for him to miss me and appreciate me more. However, as much as I'd like to do it, for the next few months my company with be low so there'll be not many people around to get ...
A. 15 May 2013: Having a break to try and force him into feeling something is a really dumb idea, if anything it will backfire on you and he will probably enjoy the freedom so much he wont want to get back together.
You cannot take a break from relation... (read in full...)
Is this how brother in laws are? I don't like mine!
Q. Hello this isn't a relationship question but I need advice because I really dislike my brother in law who is married to my sister, I just want to slowly cut all contact with them. I know this doesn't make much sense but he treats her very badly, she ...
A. 15 May 2013: This isnt how all brothers in law are, and you are not really being a brat - but equally there is not a lot you can do about it.
Your sister loves him, she chose to marry him and have children with him therefore you need to hold your tongue a... (read in full...)
Boyfriend suddenly needs space. Do I give him space? Or dump him?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 months suddenly says he needs to "reconnect" with his friends (aka drinking buddies) and plans to stay out every Friday night with them. He says I'm not invited "for now" - and besides I work at 7AM on Saturdays and he wants to s...
A. 15 May 2013: You cant be seriously thinking about having children after 5 months together, you hardly know each other! Let him go out with his friends once a week, and if in a couple of years time when you do seriously start to think about children then you can ... (read in full...)
I am really mad at how he ended our relationship!
Q. Just realized that my boyfriend dumped me over Facebook! How immature and obnoxious is that? We are talking about a 28 year old guy here! We were on a break, and as everyone, I expected him to contact me in order to know if we would stay toget...
A. 14 May 2013: I have no idea how you conclude he has dumped you because of a picture - if anything I'd suggest that because you are in that photo he hasn't dumped you! If he had dumped you via facebook he'd have changed his relationship status to 'single' and ... (read in full...)
Ready to date. Where can I meet men outside my daily routine?
Q. It's been a year and a half since I last dated, and would like to date again. I'm looking for a long-term serious relationship but I don't know where to look. I want someone a bit older and more experienced so college isn't the ideal place to loo...
A. 14 May 2013: I'd stop with all these silly ideas of age and experience, and just think about meeting a PERSON, not a number. Age is often irrelevant, I'm sure there are plenty of guys in your college who are maybe the same age or only a couple of years older and ... (read in full...)
Dating a girl for 2 weeks, saw some strange messages on her phone then her best friend calls me to tell me to walk away from her! What should I do?
Q. I have been online dating for about a year and I go on about 2 dates a week. I'm no Brad Pitt but i'm a good looking guy and have just qualified as a children's doctor. I met a girl (M) 2 weeks ago and we have been on some dates. She is cute ...
A. 14 May 2013: This is a really tough one - but at the end of the day nothing that this girl has done would indicate any of what her friend said is true.
There could be multiple explanations for the messages and the phone call from her friend - the messages... (read in full...)
What are your views on no sex before marriage?
Q. I am Christian but nondenominational and I honestly can't decide whether I should wait till marriage and the most committed relationship possible to have sex or have fun, play the field and get experienced with boyfriends at college. I would love to ...
A. 14 May 2013: Well to me (and this is just my personal opinion, I'm not religious in any way shape or form) I would not leave sex before marriage to chance, because sex is a HUGE part of a relationship and if you are not sexually compatible you are going to have ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend suddenly needs space. Do I give him space? Or dump him?
Q. My boyfriend of 5 months suddenly says he needs to "reconnect" with his friends (aka drinking buddies) and plans to stay out every Friday night with them. He says I'm not invited "for now" - and besides I work at 7AM on Saturdays and he wants to s...
A. 14 May 2013: I think you are over-reacting to be honest, I never understand why women get so controlling in relationships and I'm a woman myself!
What he basically wants isnt 'time' or 'space', he simply wants to see his friends on a Friday night and have a b... (read in full...)
He wants me to wear lingere but I don't think it suits me
Q. I’m not really sure how to begin but I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year, he’s 26 almost 27 and I’m 23. We were really close friends for probably 3 years before we started dating. So my boyfriend and I have been having… I wouldn’t call it a fight ...
A. 14 May 2013: You must wear underwear i.e. a bra and knickers, so why would it be so difficult to buy an underwear set that is a bit more attractive than your usual stuff?
'Lingerie' is just the french word for 'undergarments' for either gender (male and fema... (read in full...)
Is it possible for my relationship with a man who is almost twice my age to actually be real or not.
Q. I'm feeling really conflicted and I would love some advice. I am wondering if it's possible for my relationship with a man who is almost twice my age to actually be real or not. I've known of him for a few years, but Ive really gotten to know h...
A. 13 May 2013: Sorry Cerberus I wasnt very clear - I didnt mean physically attractive (of course 99.9% of men find young, fit girls attractive!) but it is not normal to be attracted to their personality, because if they are attracted to teenagers that to me ... (read in full...)
I want change… but I don't want to change who I am. Any advice?
Q. (I'm tired and it's 2:45am but I can't sleep because these thoughts are running through my head, so bear with me...) I guess the biggest way to sum up my situation, is that I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like I'm stuck in this ev...
A. 13 May 2013: Ok I'll try and run through your issues one by one.
1. Make up and clothes. It is GREAT that you dont need to wear make-up, and that you are so comfortable with who you are. Most girls would kill to feel like that about themselves, so you real... (read in full...)
Is it possible for my relationship with a man who is almost twice my age to actually be real or not.
Q. I'm feeling really conflicted and I would love some advice. I am wondering if it's possible for my relationship with a man who is almost twice my age to actually be real or not. I've known of him for a few years, but Ive really gotten to know h...
A. 13 May 2013: Ok so this is a man between the age of 36 and 42, and to be honest I'd be a little bit concerned if a man of that age liked someone as young as you, it is not normal for a grown man to be attracted to someone so young. You are at such different ... (read in full...)
Is my B/f still not over his ex? And is she the reason why he wants to go for the party?
Q. My boyfriend of 8mths who I live with, has been asked to go to a 30th birthday party. He asked me to go with him, and I said yes. It was a Facebook group invite and I have since seen that his ex (who broke his heart ) is invited. He has been ...
A. 10 May 2013: There is absolutely nothing that would indicate he is still into her. It is quite simple - if he still liked her and wanted her back he would not have invited you.
Ok so he has been working out and he will feel good knowing his ex is going to... (read in full...)
Thoughts please?why the build up but no action?
Q. A friend at work asked me to collect him from his parents house stating hes home alone few days house sitting and as we had to go same destination i said sure. Collected him and we went to destination. Days he has been flirting, never before given ...
A. 10 May 2013: He's either shy or not interested. He might not realise he is flirting and just helping you out in a friendly manner, which would mean he is not interested in you in a romantic sense. Alternatively he is just shy and afraid to make the move. H... (read in full...)
Was this a friendly rejection?
Q. So theres a guy who i see once a month due to work and he will flirt and so on just with me even though we have a big group. Today i emailed him internally stating: i've had a really naff day!are you free for a drink after work?I can ask ..(a mut...
A. 10 May 2013: Erm not too sure really - it wasnt a flat out no but then again you didnt make it clear you were asking him out on a date either. You said you'd bring someone else along (the mutual friend) so that made it seem more like a group of friends going out ... (read in full...)
Am I an awful girlfriend because I don't want to go to the car meet with my boyfriend?
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. I feel like an ungrateful spoiled girl for this question since there are so many about women whose men do not want to spend time with them, I have the opposite issue. I actually started to live with my boyfriend of a y...
A. 10 May 2013: I think you are right on this one - it is important for you to both have separate hobbies so you can spend time alone, alone time is just as important as spending time together. If you are not remotely interested in cars then if you went along you ... (read in full...)
We had unprotected sex. Should I ask if everything is ok with her cycle?
Q. okay, awkward subject: I've been dating a girl I really like for the past 5 months. We've been having sex on the regular basically every time we see each other. Only thing though, last month (the 25th specifically) she was on her per...
A. 10 May 2013: If I am right in thinking that Plan B works the same way as the thing we call the 'morning after pill' here in the UK - then you are WAY too late I'm afraid!
I've checked on the Plan B website to be sure and they say the same as our morning ... (read in full...)
Did I came on to her too aggressively?
Q. So, there was this girl who pretty much in every single class that I'm in this semester. Throughout the semester, I noticed she's been behaving anomaly, things like: 1) When class finished, I often stay back a minute or two to pack up my stuff...
A. 10 May 2013: Its probably just a simple case of you reading the signs wrong. All of these behaviours you list, all could point towards one thing - was there someone else who used to stay late after class? Was there someone sitting near to you that she could have ... (read in full...)
I really don't know how to approach my crush
Q. Hey there, Basically I am really confused and do not know what to do. I'll give you the basics. Im an 18 year old girl, and i have been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years. I love him to bits, he is the kindest and most sweetest person ...
A. 9 May 2013: This advice is spot on:
"You have a boyfriend. It is normal to be attracted to other people, regardless of their gender, but you should not pursue it unless you break up with your BF."
What you are asking for advice on is basically how to... (read in full...)
Could this sudden change mean she cheated on me?
Q. Ok me and my girlfriend have been together for 8 years and it's been great til yesterday.we have sex almost everyday and her vagina is tight and hugs my penis and I can feel her uterus when I go deep until yesterday cause usually I have to go slow ...
A. 9 May 2013: Have a read of this article - it should help you.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/all-about-sex/201109/the-rare-truth-about-tight-and-loose-women
The article says that as women get older they gradually get a little (not a lot mind you) lo... (read in full...)
What to do? I'm in a new relationship. But I want my ex to know that I still have tremendous love (or strong feelings) for my ex
Q. I've had a new girlfriend now for about 3 weeks, but lately, everything reminds me of my ex girlfriend. I even realized that my new girlfriend has some similar, if not exact features that my ex had. I will admit that I rebounded and quickly got ...
A. 8 May 2013: You have to choose - your ex or the new girl. It is not fair on either of them at the moment, your new girl would be incredibly hurt if she found out you had told your ex that you still love her, and she would most likely dump you. Likewise with ... (read in full...)
Cant get my head round my Ex girlfriend please help
Q. Hi Me and my ex girlfriend have both admited we both still have feelings for each other and we could never hurt each other. And both admit that we were proud to say we are/were each others partners. i just cant get this part of the conversatio...
A. 7 May 2013: Ok so she didnt speak to you for 3 weeks, now has come back to you and said that particular comment.
So perhaps she is feeling guilty for bitching about you, and is now trying to be extra nice to make sure she hasnt burnt any bridges with you... (read in full...)
Cant get my head round my Ex girlfriend please help
Q. Hi Me and my ex girlfriend have both admited we both still have feelings for each other and we could never hurt each other. And both admit that we were proud to say we are/were each others partners. i just cant get this part of the conversatio...
A. 7 May 2013: Well if you were taking that comment alone in isolation (i.e. that she took the decision to break up too lightly and she has doubted it) then that would indicate she is a bit unhappy that she chose to break up with you and at times she is wondering ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend's ex constantly tell him how happy she is with someone new!
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for 4 and ½ years and his ex drives me nuts! For the first 3 and ½ years all she did was cause trouble. She could call him all the time, text him all the time, she’d text me saying they’re together, she’d tell our ...
A. 7 May 2013: She's obviously still not over your fiance, she is trying to pretend to be super happy in the hope that it makes him jealous and makes him realise that he wants her back.
She sounds a bit unhinged to be honest, I'd try and ignore it best you can.... (read in full...)
Do I leave or Do I stay?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 15 years (together for 17) and have 3 children (17, 14, and 12). Things between his family and I were tolerable at best in the beginning, but it was well known that they didn't like me because I am white (he ...
A. 7 May 2013: Have you spoken to your husband about this? I dont mean about your problems in the marriage, what I mean is have you actually spoken to him about how upset you are about the way the kids are treated, how you are upset that he has told them lies ... (read in full...)
Will his rational love end up hurting me?
Q. I am confused about how my boyfriend really feels about me! We had a big long/ slightly drunken conversation the other night which left me a little put out. We have been together 8 months, my boyfriend is rational, logical and highly motivate...
A. 7 May 2013: He sounds very much like my boyfriend, and you just need to learn to adjust to his terminology. It sounds like your guy is not really the romantic type, and doesnt like to talk about his feelings.
Therefore by saying that he wouldnt do any bett... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of people judging us over the age difference
Q. Im 21 and my boyfriend is 62. I am falling in love with him. When we go out Im a little nervous about people staring or asking questions. How do I get over this? He is the most amazing man I have ever met. Hes so patient, kind, and understanding. He ...
A. 7 May 2013: If you are really bothered by other people's hang-ups then that to me is a sign that deep down you dont fully support your choice either and you somewhat agree with their judgements.
After all if you saw another young woman in her early 20's wit... (read in full...)
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