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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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I'm afraid of people judging us over the age difference
Q. Im 21 and my boyfriend is 62. I am falling in love with him. When we go out Im a little nervous about people staring or asking questions. How do I get over this? He is the most amazing man I have ever met. Hes so patient, kind, and understanding. He ...
A. 7 May 2013: If you are really bothered by other people's hang-ups then that to me is a sign that deep down you dont fully support your choice either and you somewhat agree with their judgements.
After all if you saw another young woman in her early 20's wit... (read in full...)
Should I confront him about this awkward behavior?
Q. I had this major crush on this guy at work and so we began to talk and he seemed interested in me so we exchanged numbers. Admittedly, I did most of the texting. He hardly texted me. One day he said he lost my number and would need it again at one ...
A. 7 May 2013: It sounds like he was never interested in you, the fact that he hardly ever text you was clear he wasnt into you. Then he finds out that someone else at work likes you so he saw his chance to get rid of you and pass you off onto someone else - ... (read in full...)
Should I be the one who is blamed for my brother's dog not being fed?
Q. Roughly, about a year ago, my older brother found a litter of puppies with their mother somewhere in the park. He just up and bought one of the dogs home without even asking our mother for permission. He said he carried it home because it seem...
A. 7 May 2013: No this isnt fair, but you really should stop thinking about yourself for a second and think about the dog.
Your brother is a moron (sorry but who takes a dog away from its mother leaving the rest of them to probably die there in the park?) -... (read in full...)
Your thoughts please? Do men see women differently to how women see themselves?
Q. Hey aunts and uncles. I have been wondering about something for a while, and would like your opinions on it. My question is, do men see women differently than women see themselves? The reason I ask is because a lot of my female family members...
A. 7 May 2013: Yes - there is something that exists called 'body dysmorphic disorder' (link to a website for more info here http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/body-dysmorphia/Pages/Introduction.aspx)
I think all women have a bit of BDD, regardless of who they are and ... (read in full...)
Husband's co-worker is sending him suggestive messages late at night and he is responding!
Q. Hello. I am concerned about my husband's co-worker. I snooped through his email account this morning and found an email from her to my husband saying that if he was single and asked her out, she would say yes. I am very concerned abou...
A. 3 May 2013: Talk to him. Tell him that you find it inappropriate for him to be emailing female co-workers late at night - you dont mind him having work friends but time at home is for you to spend time together, not for him to be having late night conversations ... (read in full...)
I think I've found my soul mate but she's 35 years younger than I. What do I do?
Q. I think I have found a soulmate, however I don't think we were meant to be together as we have a very large age difference. I think that as the older person I am meant to help her in some way. Why do I think we are soulmates? Well, our likes are so ...
A. 3 May 2013: Well I do wonder why you think she needs help? If she is a happy young woman with a good life what value do you think you could add?
Being friends is no problem, as you said your 35 year age gap is simply too much to overcome to ever be in a rel... (read in full...)
How do I handle the visitation of my ex seeing our baby after its born? He left me and is an alcoholic
Q. What to do when the father of my baby wants to see her after shes born?? I am now 20 weeks pregnant and alone. The father left me for dead and I havent heard boo from him. I have accepted the fact that Im going to be a single parent. The father is ...
A. 3 May 2013: First of all I'd speak to him now and ask him what he wants to do once the baby is born. Ask him whether he will want to see the child, or if he doesnt plan on being part of her life. Be nice about it, give him the choice of being in her life or not ... (read in full...)
Does my willingness to end the relationship mean it's time for it to end?
Q. We've been together for 1.5 years. There's been good times and bad. I've verbally attacked him and physically attacked him twice. I can't figure out why, but he must love me. I really do love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but ...
A. 3 May 2013: Putting your anger issues aside (you really should seek professional help for these violent outbursts, domestic abuse is a crime and you could easily go to prison for what you have done) - this relationship is already over and you are just flogging ... (read in full...)
How do I negotiate dating a soon to be divorced man with a child?
Q. I started seeing a guy. It started out as a hook up ad we started meeting regularly for BDSM type nights. I'm quite a bit younger than he is and he is in the middle of negotiating a divorce with a young child. I met her a few weeks ago and have seen ...
A. 3 May 2013: I think you need a serious chat with him, and make it soon. It is disgraceful for him as a father to be introducing casual sex partners into this child's life, children form attachments quickly and if she keeps on seeing you regularly then she will ... (read in full...)
Four years dating on and off and now he says he doesn't care for me in that way??
Q. So I dated this guy for a year and a half but we broke it off cause he were fighting a lot and I would still talk to him or go visit him (lives a little far) then when I finally decided that I couldn't take it anymore, i stopped trying all ...
A. 2 May 2013: When 2 people break up the feelings that you have can go (for one person or both), which means that they dont have any 'romantic' feelings for you anymore i.e. they no longer have any feelings for that person that would drive them to want to be in a ... (read in full...)
I want to go out with a guy I've never even met!
Q. I know this sounds ridiculously stupid but please hear me out. I'm at uni, the stereotypical "party girl" and used to be really shallow regarding guys. I'd get romantically involved with the most attractive guys who showed the slightest bit of...
A. 1 May 2013: I think you are being too hard on yourself, there is nothing wrong with having a crush on him!
As you said yourself, you havent even met yet so it is simply a crush, you are getting a bit ahead of yourself by talking about relationships.
If y... (read in full...)
I am crushing on my coach/teacher. Help!!
Q. Hi there. I have a crush on my soccer coach, who is also a relief teacher at my school. He took quite a few of my classes last year, and i knew the first time i saw him that i liked him. Now, Im 16, and he is about 24. (i asked him last year). ...
A. 1 May 2013: My boyfriend is a young teacher (he is 29) and he says hi to a lot of his students, he likes to be friendly and if he sees them outside his classes he will smile and say hi. These ARE NOT signs that a teacher is interested in that child, it simply ... (read in full...)
How can I become closer to my parents?
Q. I don't feel close to my parents at all. I love them loads don't get me wrong and we have a laugh I just don't feel like I can talk to them about serious topics because they'll judge me or they'll make suggestions I maybe don't think are helpful, ...
A. 30 April 2013: You just need to give your parents some credit and trust them more. They are your parents, they will love you no matter what you do in life (unless you decide to murder someone!) so they are not going to judge you. They were teenagers once too, I ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this girl and my strong dislike for her?
Q. Hey guys. How do you deal with people you really dislike? Basically, there is a girl who is the girlfriend of a friend of mine. Not only does she always cheat on him and treat him really badly, but she also knows my boyfriend, and she is always al...
A. 30 April 2013: Block her online so she cant harass you - at least that will give you some peace when she isnt around!
If she is mean to your face then you have a few choices:
1. Laugh in her face and either a) walk away or b) say 'your pathetic, have you not... (read in full...)
I've lost my boyfriend and a lot of my friends and now my lifestyle has changed dramatically, where do I go from here?
Q. My 3 year relationship ended recently. Not only have I lost my boyfriend but I've also lost a majority of my friends because a lot of my friends were my boyfriends friends. They're all still friends obviously and are always doing things together ...
A. 30 April 2013: Start to rebuild your life away from your ex and his friends - you need to build your own circle of friends so you are not linked to him for your happiness in any way, shape or form.
I know that is easier said than done, and making friends ... (read in full...)
He tells me that he loves me because I love him and it feels good to be loved my someone. Is that enough???
Q. My boyfriend and I are going on a trip and we'll be staying the night together at a hotel. I thought we would sleep together (for the first time), but he wanted to get a room with two separate beds. This bothered me because why wouldn't he want to ...
A. 30 April 2013: It is a little odd that you have been together for nearly a year now and he still doesnt love you yet nor does he want to be remotely intimate with you.
What is he like at home? By that I mean do you cuddle and kiss lots? Is he an affectio... (read in full...)
I'm trapped in a loveless relationship. Should I just pay him to leave?
Q. Trapped in a loveless relationship. I am not married. I've been in a on/off relationship for 8 yrs. my problem is that after a split of around 9 mths I stupidly got back with my ex. He had lived with his mother most of our relationship which had ...
A. 30 April 2013: You have asked this question before and I remember answering it back then - my advice is still the same. He made money when he sold all of his furniture, it is his own fault for spending the money that he made from the sale of the furniture ... (read in full...)
I'm 30 weeks pregnant. How do I get my husband back in bed with me? He's been looking at sexy pictures of girls instead.
Q. My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years now. I am also 30 weeks pregnant. I have only gained 18 pounds so I feel a little silly moping, but I could really use some words of encouragement. My fears began when our love making sessions...
A. 26 April 2013: I do think it is quite common for men to have 'issues' with having sex with their pregnant spouses. Many men are afraid of hurting the baby (yes that is silly but in their minds the baby will be coming out of that area so to be sticking something in ... (read in full...)
Interracial dating question: is he the one with issues or is it me?
Q. I was on an interacial dating site as a black female born and bred in england and was approached by a white man stating he was interested, i asked the question, why interacial dating?, he replied "during the last 50 years english girls have lost ...
A. 24 April 2013: I'm not exactly sure what you took objection to? If you replaced the word 'English' with 'White' in his response would you have been ok with it? What I mean is, were you insulted because you are English as well so found him to be insulting your ... (read in full...)
Pregnant and he finishes with me?? What the...
Q. Hi everyone. This may be a bit long-- but please bare with me. I'm very shocked. I found out yesterday I am pregnant. I'm 24 and very fortunate to be in a good well paying job with a good maternity package also. I have been with my boyfriend for...
A. 23 April 2013: He sounds like the sort of person who flies off the handle at the slightest thing - if he broke up with you because you were upset over him cheating then he doesnt exactly sound like a nice, caring rational man! He sounds very irrational, quick to ... (read in full...)
She has no feeling towards me now cause I've acted childish through the whole break up and that I've hardly gave her room to breathe or think
Q. me and my girlfriend at the time had our first fallout in our 9 month relationship because i started to mention things about our future as a couple. the only reason i said those things was because she couldn't see me as much as she could cause of ...
A. 23 April 2013: I think you should just forget about her and move on I'm afraid. She is clearly enjoying being single and doesnt want to get back with you, so you are going to have to let her go.
In time you will feel better about this and it wont hurt so much,... (read in full...)
Why is she treating me this way? Did she ever love me? I can't deal with this!!!
Q. Hi guys my girlfriend broke up with me 4 weeks ago a 6 month relationship. The thing is she's married and older 10 years she’s 28 I'm 18. Things were great I was moving closer to her she was making it clear it was over with her hubby. To make i...
A. 23 April 2013: It sounds like she has simply realised that you are far too young for her, that you are too immature for her and that her own current situation with a husband and child needs sorting out before she can think about being with anyone else.
I thi... (read in full...)
Do you think anyone would be upset by his actions? I'm doubting myself and I feel like I'm in the wrong all the time.
Q. My boyfriend seems to have 2 personalities. He said he come to dinner with my parents earlier but then changed his mind, my mother went to the effort of cooking for him so I told him he was being rude. He went out and I have no idea where he is and ...
A. 22 April 2013: I agree with the other answer - sounds like he is cheating to be honest. If he is ringing people in bed and lying about it, plus has been caught out texting his ex then clearly he is up to something, and because he is not a trustworthy person it ... (read in full...)
Should I consider going to the same college/sixth form as my boyfriend next year?
Q. Should I consider going to the same college/sixth form as my boyfriend next year? Okay so me and him have been going out a year exactly, we love each other to bits. But now I'm starting to see ahead, I want to be with him for a long time yet, and...
A. 17 April 2013: Your number one priority has to be your education, because your education is going to set you up for life and determine your future happiness. Boyfriends come and go, your education will stay with you for life.
So choose the 6th form that is the B... (read in full...)
Are there danger signs in this relationship or am I just insecure?
Q. I have a boyfriend I love very much. He understands me more than anyone I've ever met and loves me for who I am, even my bad qualities. I care about him so much and can't keep him off my mind, which is something I definitely never thought I'd ever ...
A. 17 April 2013: You dont live with him, you are not married, you dont have kids together, you have only been with him a very short time.....there is absolutely nothing stopping you from leaving him.
Simply call him and tell him that you no longer want to be with ... (read in full...)
Should I marry a girl I love but has cheated and lied to me in the past?
Q. Hi, I ve posted on this website before and I ve found the answers helpful so I am back looking for some more advice please. Should I get married to my on off girlfriend of four years given that we have had quite a volatile relationship? ...
A. 16 April 2013: I think you want to believe that she has changed, but these are just WORDS, no part of her behaviour has shown you that she has actually matured and has changed. The fact that she said she'll only see a relationship counsellor if your engaged sho... (read in full...)
My parents wont help me pay for university, but they're spending money on things I don't need?
Q. I'm an 18 year old guy heading off to university next year. My parents and I have had some fallouts in the past, due to our disagreements over how to fund my education. My parents did not save up enough money to pay for my university. However, their ...
A. 16 April 2013: Nothing I'm afraid. It is their money, you cannot force them to spend it on your education. Equally, they cannot force you to quit your job though - so you can keep on working and saving money yourself, but you cant make them give you money for your ... (read in full...)
I don't feel like I love my boyfriend anymore. Should I leave him?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and recently I feel as if I do not love him anymore. He has been all of my firsts. The only guy i have ever dated. Lately it seems that I am wanting more, like maybe for him to surprise me ...
A. 16 April 2013: Leave him. You are only with him through fear of being alone, you clearly want to see what else the world has to offer and you dont want to be tied down at such a young age, so the best thing to do is to leave so you are free to do what you want. ... (read in full...)
Are there danger signs in this relationship or am I just insecure?
Q. I have a boyfriend I love very much. He understands me more than anyone I've ever met and loves me for who I am, even my bad qualities. I care about him so much and can't keep him off my mind, which is something I definitely never thought I'd ever ...
A. 16 April 2013: Sorry but I actually think you are a little bit insane for thinking that he is a good person to be with. Lets look at the facts: 1. He is an alcoholic 2. He is addicted to drugs 3. He spends all his money on drugs and drink and never on yo... (read in full...)
Should I consider an open relationship or break with my boyfriend even though I love him?
Q. I've posted on here before and found the answers to be helpful, so I'm back. My boyfriend of about seven months and I are in love with each other despite our differences, which I don't mind since I actually like him as a person. He doesn't believe ...
A. 16 April 2013: This just sounds like a crappy excuse for him to sleep around and have fun with other girls because he is bored with your relationship. Tell him you dont believe in 'breaks', that if you love each other you should want to be with each other and y... (read in full...)
My bridesmaid bought a shoe a size too big. I'm worried about how she's going to wear it for a couple of hours???
Q. I'm getting married in May. I'm having a bit of an issue. I told my bridesmaids they could pick out whatever shoe they wanted. One of my bridesmaids bought a shoe that is a size too big. I know you can stuff a shoe to make it fit correctly. However ...
A. 16 April 2013: Flip flops are always a nice idea, regardless of whether the shoes fit or not : ) you and your bridesmaids will appreciate having flat shoes to change into after a long day, even well fitting heels are eventually going to hurt after being on your ... (read in full...)
I want my Manager...
Q. I just started working at a new job and one of my managers is so attractive. I can't help finding myself fantasizing about being with him whenever I'm at work. I think he is attracted to me.. I'm 19 and he's in his late twenties but even despite ...
A. 11 April 2013: As Mishmash said, he might like you and he might have a sneaky look at you from time to time, but he will want to keep his job more than he will want to make a move on you!
You risk losing your job as well if you try and tell him you like him, dat... (read in full...)
Is he interested I me or just a Flirt?
Q. How do you know if a guy likes you or not. I know this may seem simple but I find myself in a very confused situation. I am doing an internship for my professor as an undergraduate. There is a graduate student working with the professor doing ...
A. 11 April 2013: It sounds like he might like you, but I bet the age difference is what is stopping him from making a move. Yes you think you might be mature, but he is whole new level of 'mature' beyond you, so he knows that chances are it wouldnt work out between ... (read in full...)
My BF will not pop the question and I want the whole nine yards!
Q. Is there a reason why a man doesn't marry his long term girlfriend/mother of his children? My boyfriend is 23 and I'm 23 in a few months. I've been with my boyfriend over 4 years and we have a toddler together. I got pregnant 9 months into the...
A. 11 April 2013: While AuntyBimBim could be right, there are other possibilities as well. After all, we are not inside his head, we dont know him and his views on life, so we can never say for sure why he isnt proposing to you yet.
My first thoughts were your age... (read in full...)
Ex still an active roll in my BF life, how do I manage this?
Q. My little girl was on my boyfriends phone playing a game and showed me that someone had text. it was his ex girlfriend but the entire conversation was deleted and it was her replying obviously to something he'd said.Its making me really down in the ...
A. 11 April 2013: There are some ex's I am friends with and they are people I split up with over 5 years ago. Is my boyfriend jealous? No because we have a happy relationship and I am not inappropriate with my ex's.
I guess it is not clear from your post the natu... (read in full...)
How do I confront my cheating Fiance without making her angry because I spyed into her emails?
Q. How do you let your fiance know that you know she is cheating without her getting mad because you have been looking at her email that she keeps leaving open, most recent email to her "friend" "I still want to meet with you. I want to try if you ar...
A. 11 April 2013: Erm who cares if she gets mad? You are the one that should be mad, not her! She got rumbled, she shouldnt be cheating - she really doesnt have a leg to stand on! She can make a fuss all she wants about you reading her emails but she shouldnt have ... (read in full...)
Is it over or am I being led on?
Q. Back at the beginning of february my boyfriend of almost a year broke up with me. He then suggested that we continue for the next two weeks till it was a year. Stupidly I agreed to this even though I knew it would only hurt more, I just would have ...
A. 11 April 2013: So this all happened at the beginning of February right? And its now mid April - so he's had at least 6 weeks to decide what he wants to do, yet he still cant make his mind up? Time to make his mind up for him and let go.
Tell him you are not ... (read in full...)
GF is cheating and I don't see it?
Q. I have been dating my jealous, possessive, demanding and highly strung girlfriend for just over 2 years. I have constantly tried and failed to meet her demands and expectations. Her jealousy occasionally turns violent and emotional if she ever gets ...
A. 11 April 2013: The reason she turns it back around on you is because she is guilty, she knows she is in the wrong but is incapable of admitting it so instead she will emotionally abuse you to make it seem like you are in the wrong.
The fact that she is jealous ... (read in full...)
I'm in a bad marriage and in love with my friend. We've already slept together once but he doesn't love me!
Q. My situation is complicated. Firstly I'm married. But unhappily and am on the brink of potentially leaving my husband. My husband knows. Have seen counsellors. The likelihood of me leaving him is high. Meanwhile over the past year I started w...
A. 10 April 2013: I think this man is just a distraction from your failing marriage, and your priorities are all wrong - you need to get out of your marriage first and spend some time being single before you could even consider dating again.
It sounds like thi... (read in full...)
B/f says if I leave the country he'll break up with me
Q. my boyfriend of 5 years wants us to get married within a few months. I will be leaving the country in the next few months also but he told me that if i leave he will break up with me. I have been waiting for this opporunity to go overseas for a ...
A. 10 April 2013: If your boyfriend truly loved you then he would want you to be happy, and would want you to fulfil your dreams. He would NEVER hold you back from happiness like this if he really loved you. Instead he is just being selfish and only thinking about ... (read in full...)
Been dumped by boyfriend - have a few questions on how to move on or how to get him back?
Q. I have been recently dumped by my bf over text with no real explanation. He refuses to reply when I ask for an explanation. One of the reasons may be me recently being needy and constantly calling.I'm trying to move on as this is my only option. I ...
A. 9 April 2013: I dont think I've ever heard of 'no contact' winning an ex back, however the main use for 'no contact' is to help the person who has been dumped to move on.
He clearly has given up too easily, and is a great big coward for not even having t... (read in full...)
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