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*_c100 agony aunt

*_c100

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About me.....

I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!

I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.

I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself!

Latest articles:

Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past

This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...

For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...

< Prev1234567891011Next > [82 pages, 3253 answers]

My uncontrollable vanity and low self-esteem are ruining my life

Q.   I am obsessed with photos and not in a good way. I spend many hours of my life constantly worrying about documenting what I do so that I can have a good view of my life in the future. Subsequently I scrutinize them to the point of obsession and cons...

A.   28 October 2013: I think this is a bit beyond the remit of a bunch of strangers on the net - you are letting this affect you so seriously that I think you would be best speaking to a professional therapist/counsellor. Please dont take that the wrong way, you are ... (read in full...)

We have sex but he never cums

Q.   My long distance boyfriend and I have recently started having sex, he has been to see me two weekends in the past month and a bit and both times we have engaged in sexual activities. He can 'get it up' and maintain and erection over me however he ...

A.   28 October 2013: This can be a problem for some men (I dated a guy like this once) - you need to be very careful and very patient with this issue. It does not mean he is not attracted to you, he will be 100% attracted to you and if you start stressing that he doesnt ... (read in full...)

Question about on-line dating etiquette?

Q.   Hi guys, so I'm new to online dating. I put up a profile yesterday and thus guy initiated a conversation, which then led to him giving me his number, and then we exchanged a few more messages outside of the site. He asked if I'm looking for frie...

A.   23 October 2013: There is no harm in messaging these other men back - after all you dont know if you will ever hear from the first guy again. I know that sounds harsh but as AuntyEm said, there are some people that browse the new users lists, message all the ... (read in full...)

Would it be ok to date her because of our ages?

Q.   I graduated from high school last year, and there was a girl I liked who was a freshman. She had a boyfriend for all of last year, so I didn't really get the chance to be with her. I'm in college now, and I found out that she and her boyfriend broke ...

A.   17 October 2013: I think the main problem is the age of consent for sexual activity in the US - if you were in the UK, where it is 16, then you might not have so much of a problem. But chances are in your state the age of consent is 18, so she still has 3 years to ... (read in full...)

Would it be ok to date her because of our ages?

Q.   I graduated from high school last year, and there was a girl I liked who was a freshman. She had a boyfriend for all of last year, so I didn't really get the chance to be with her. I'm in college now, and I found out that she and her boyfriend broke ...

A.   16 October 2013: yeah telling us how old you both are tends to help........ (read in full...)

I want to be free and do as I please, Except he gets really jealous.

Q.   I have no one to discuss this with and I'm hoping someone out there could help me out. Greatly appreciate it.. So this situation is mixing my emotions up a whole lot! So I've been with my boyfriend about 3months and things are going well! Except he ...

A.   16 October 2013: Sorry but I think you are in the wrong here - lying and being dishonest it far worse than what he's done! If you genuinely wanted to be friends with your ex for HONOURABLE intentions then you would not have started texting him behind your bf's back. ... (read in full...)

I think I hold a grudge against love?

Q.   Dear agony aunts, I have a very pondering thought, it's just that: I wonder what good can come out of love, I mean to tell you the truth I kind of hold a grudge against it, I mean every person I've seen around me always fall out of it quickly or do...

A.   14 October 2013: I think the problem is that the people 'around you' are presumably the same age right (16-17)? Which means what they call 'love' is very different to what an adult would call love. Teen relationships are normally very intense and very short lived. ... (read in full...)

I've had dreams about my teacher crush and I'm confused now!

Q.   I have a crush on a teacher at my school, he's 25, friendly and good looking. Now, i have liked him since last year, and he coached my soccer team this year. Don't worry, I won't try anything and I've learnt that any 'special' attention he gives me ...

A.   14 October 2013: Ok so I'm going to sound like a patronising old fart now, but I am only 26 so 1 year older than the fella we are talking about here. I am also going to generalise quite broadly as well, so forgive me for that also. The problem with you teens is... (read in full...)

Do they girls also like the guys chest

Q.   Hey everyone, Do they girls also like the guys chest, as much as the case in vice versa? I am asking this because there was a girl at my university who used to stare at my flat chest fugitively, which made me wonder the point....

A.   10 October 2013: So are you asking do women like mens chest's as much as men like women's boobs? NO!!! I personally could not care less about a mans chest. In fact if a guy works out a lot and gets big pecs, I think that looks weird, like he has boobs - not a go... (read in full...)

We broke up because of facebook! Who's right?

Q.   So a few days ago my girlfriend randomly starts acting cold and won't tell me what's wrong initially. She then spills the beans and tells me that she saw me on Facebook liking photos and statuses of girls that she knows I used to talk to. We ...

A.   10 October 2013: Hmmm I'm more on the side of your girlfriend here, its a bit weird that you are 'liking' statuses and photos of a girl you no longer talk to. Why are you doing that? If it were a friend who you were still in touch with, who you never had romantic... (read in full...)

Married, open relationship, and now divorce?

Q.   I need you guys opinions, please. Here's my situation: My wife and I knew each other since for about 8 years. We got married on 2011 so it would be almost 2 years of marriage. We both agreed on having an open relationship as long as in the end we w...

A.   10 October 2013: There isnt a lot to say really - you treated her pretty badly, she likes the guy she was seeing whilst married to you and now she chooses him over you. We are in the 21st century you know, men do cook and clean these days! If she works longer h... (read in full...)

What is the right age do you think, to settle down and have a family?

Q.   When do you think people ussualy start thinking about settling down? My daughter is 27, her boyfriend will be 30 in a couple months. They both have good jobs, but live with 4 other roomates. its a big house in a very expensive city. I just vis...

A.   9 October 2013: I think in this age there is no 'age' that is old enough, or the right time to have a family. I know of people that have settled down and had kids aged 21 and are still with their partners, in a happy family with happy kids. I also know of girls ... (read in full...)

Why am I the one making all the effort? Why do I do it?

Q.   I've been split up with my ex for 5months but I have been speaking and seeing him for the past 2months. I was with him for 2years. Since I have been seeing him all my feelings have come back and I feel like I am in the same situation of what I was ...

A.   9 October 2013: Sorry to say this but he is probably using you until he meets someone else - if he wanted you back he would be contacting you and making an effort with you, but that is not the case. He is probably a bit bored now he is single and if you offer ... (read in full...)

Should I try to start something with a crush that works at my school?

Q.   I'm 17 and in year 13 at school, I've had a crush on a member of staff that works at the school, however he's not my teacher, he just works in the school as a social helper, he's about 22 I think and we do talk quite a lot. I'm not sure on what to ...

A.   8 October 2013: There are strict rules for ANYONE that works in a school (my partner is a teacher so I am quite up to speed on this) - teachers, support staff, cleaners...you name it, any adult that steps into a school has to pass something called a CRB check (its ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong that I only want to be with an uncircumcised man?

Q.   I know that this is a pretty touchy subject for some people, so I'm hoping that my question doesn't upset anyone. I'm 23 and I have had sex with one person--my ex-boyfriend, who I dated for a year and broke up with a few months ago. Our sex lif...

A.   8 October 2013: Sorry to be a bit harsh but I think there are more important things in life to worry about and you need to get a grip! Ok so I'm going to presume your ex was circumcised, and you are blaming him being bad in bed on his circumcision. Right? A... (read in full...)

Should I be single going into college?

Q.   My question is pretty straight forward (In my opinion anyway). I have been dating someone for a little over a year now, he's my longest relationship and I his. I love him with all my heart. We are Seniors in high school this year and college has ...

A.   7 October 2013: It varies by person and by couple, there is no rule whether you should be single or not. The best advice is just to see how it goes - wait until you are both accepted into your colleges (you still dont know where you will go, you might want to go ... (read in full...)

Why he's closing me out?

Q.   I'm 32 and there is this guy who use to live in my neighborhood who is younger then I am. He's 21 yrs old and developed an interest in me saying that age doesn't matter blah blah blah. I started to like him but always told him that because our age ...

A.   7 October 2013: He's barely out of his teenage years, what do you expect? Young men, just out of being a 'boy', are like this - immature, blow hot and cold, lose interest quickly etc. This is just common behaviour from an immature young man. He asked you for help... (read in full...)

I got in to a rebound relationship/ dating too soon. What is the right thing to do regarding the guy I'm dating?

Q.   I am in a relationship with someone for just about one year now. He is great, a very likable person. The thing is, this all started as a "rebound" type relationship, literally as I came out of a very tough four year relationship. We immediately ...

A.   2 October 2013: The right thing to do is to end the relationship, as soon as possible. All you can do is be honest - explain that it has moved too fast for you and you have realised that you got together too soon after your ex, and you need some time to be single ... (read in full...)

Single for 2 years and feeling very lonely. How can I cheer up?

Q.   I'm single and lonely. What should I do? Dear Aunties: I've been single for 2 years, which I know is completely normal, but I've been starting to feel quite lonely. I'm a senior in college so I'm very busy and so are my friends, so we only go ou...

A.   2 October 2013: Get a hobby. One that actually makes you leave the house. For example, my hobby is horseriding and that keeps me so busy - I ride 5 times a week so when I'm not at work I'm generally with the horses. I cant afford my own, I just ride a friends horse ... (read in full...)

This guy seems to know too much about me -- could he be tracking my online activity?

Q.   Hi. I was wondering if there is anyone on here who knows enough about computers to tell me something. How easy is it for a person to track your IP address? I ask because I suspect someone of doing it to me. He doesn't know me very well yet se...

A.   20 September 2013: IP addresses can only show your location i.e. where the computer is located in the world and what town/city. It cannot tell him further personal information. The easiest ways to 'stalk' people online are via social media - so facebook, twitter,... (read in full...)

Has he lost interest? Why is he ignoring me?

Q.   hey, im so confussed :/ theres this guy that i've been dating, and everything was going good untill last weekend. hes a bouncer and i was on a night out and went to the club were he works and one of my friends wasn't allowed in so started shouting...

A.   18 September 2013: Look, 99% of people you meet on a dating site will be seeing other people until they have had at least 5 or 6 dates with someone or maybe even waiting 1-2 months before they decide to go 'exclusive'. That is just the nature of dating sites, when you ... (read in full...)

Am I being-over cautious about moving in with him?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and to be honest we've had quite a few problems over the years. Things have been going better over the last 6 months or so, but we came very close to splitting up before that so I feel there is still a way ...

A.   17 September 2013: I dont think you are being over-cautious at all, if you have only been back on track for 6 months and still are not fully sorted then it would be foolish to move in together now. Plus if you have a deposit saved up there is no point in renting ... (read in full...)

Will he be hurt if I don't see him on his birthday?

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for 4months now,we work in 2 different cities and we are both doctors!so for us its a task meeting,whenever we find time we try to meet.. Its my boyfriends birthday in 2 weeks and I just found out I have to be on du...

A.   17 September 2013: Well that's a totally valid reason so I cant see why he would be upset PROVIDING you explain why you cant see him. Dont just say 'really sorry I have to work on your birthday but we'll do something another day', that is pretty lame and lacking in ... (read in full...)

Will he be hurt if I don't see him on his birthday?

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for 4months now,we work in 2 different cities and we are both doctors!so for us its a task meeting,whenever we find time we try to meet.. Its my boyfriends birthday in 2 weeks and I just found out I have to be on du...

A.   17 September 2013: What do you mean you dont 'feel' like applying for leave? I cant really answer unless you explain that one! Are you saying you cant be bothered to take the day off? Or is there a genuine reason why you cant apply for leave? ... (read in full...)

I told him to call me when he finds himself.

Q.   Please help me. I'm on the verge of an extreme breakdown. I posted here a weekago, but things got even crazier. It started by my boyfriend sending a pic to his ex, and calling her beautiful, etc, I did the same after I got upset about it. I ...

A.   17 September 2013: Lifton is right - this part of her post is spot on: "You seem like the flavor of the week. Now he's found other women to replace you in his need and desire for obsessing." He clearly is obsessed with women, and needs more than 1 in his life at... (read in full...)

Am I worrying too much about this?

Q.   I have been looking for a mew job for a while and my boyfriend new this. 18 months ago an aquaintance suggested I speak to her brother who wanted someone to join his small business. I met with him that same day and he offered me a job. When I called ...

A.   17 September 2013: He's crazy. No-one should react like that if their significant other just got a new job, he should have been proud of you and happy that you had found a job. Instead he was rude, disrespectful and cynical towards you, showing a complete lack ... (read in full...)

Am I selfish because I want to move closer to my mother and take my son?

Q.   I am in major conflict here and feeling very guilty because I'm not sure what to do. I have an ailing mother that lives in another state. I have several siblings and relatives that are with her, and caring for her. However, I want to be with my ...

A.   16 September 2013: This is a very tough one and I dont think there is a right or wrong answer here - no-one would blame you either way. Have you spoken to your ex about it? That's all I can offer really, I think this warrants a conversation with your ex to air your... (read in full...)

People think my guy is so great but they don't see what I see!

Q.   Has anybody ever gone through this, or at least seen it happening before? I have what I would call a normally very sweet guy. My family love him and my friends always tell me how lucky I am, and wish they could meet someone like him. They ask why we ...

A.   16 September 2013: Well done, you have done the right thing. You have to do one final hard decision - cut him out of your life. If you know he is capable of talking you round, then you need to remove that risk. So delete his number, delete him on Facebook, delete h... (read in full...)

I don't want to be seen as an "asexual" nice guy anymore. How can I change?

Q.   I have been drilled from a young age to be a gentleman to women. I have been kind, courteous, a good listener in addition to being myself. However, the unspoken message from any woman I've dated (I've never been on a second date) is that they don't ...

A.   13 September 2013: Cerberus does make some good points, but I just wanted to add one more thing: I left my now fiance at the end of our first date with a hug, we are getting married next August : ) So just because a girl doesnt like to kiss on a first date doesn... (read in full...)

I don't want to be seen as an "asexual" nice guy anymore. How can I change?

Q.   I have been drilled from a young age to be a gentleman to women. I have been kind, courteous, a good listener in addition to being myself. However, the unspoken message from any woman I've dated (I've never been on a second date) is that they don't ...

A.   13 September 2013: I dont think I've ever known any woman to think a guy is 'asexual' - we are fairly clued up you know, we know men like sex and we learn that from a young age! I think there is a combination of problems here, none of which involve you being to... (read in full...)

People think my guy is so great but they don't see what I see!

Q.   Has anybody ever gone through this, or at least seen it happening before? I have what I would call a normally very sweet guy. My family love him and my friends always tell me how lucky I am, and wish they could meet someone like him. They ask why we ...

A.   13 September 2013: Clearly he is addicted to the buzz of women chatting him up online otherwise he wouldnt do it when he knows it upsets you. It also shows that he really is not that bothered about your feelings and would rather blame you (this is typical when someone ... (read in full...)

My fiancée won't set a date!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have known my girlfriend since high school, almost 15 years, and we have been together as a couple for almost 3 years, engaged around 1 year, we also live together and have no children yet. When I proposed she seemed happy, said ...

A.   12 September 2013: I think you need to make one last attempt at talking to your girlfriend - I would explain to her that you are on the verge of leaving over this because you feel you are being strung along and ultimately marriage is important to you. This is not ... (read in full...)

Why do women gets so attached and men just seem to be able to completely forget about women? I just don't understand it!

Q.   Why are men so different to women? Why do women gets so attached and men just seem to be able to completely forget about women? I just dont understand it! I was seeing a guy from work for a few month! It was brilliant! So much chemistry, fu...

A.   12 September 2013: To keep it brief - women's hormones mean that they get attached to men, especially after they have had sex with them whereas men do not have these hormones therefore do not feel the same attachment. Going back to caveman/cavewoman times, women re... (read in full...)

Are you allowed to have guy friends if you have a boyfriend?

Q.   I've become friends with a guy I know, and he's invited me out for coffee to trade some movies we own. I have a boyfriend, but the guy friend isnt aware of this because Im not sure how to bring it up. Just blurting it out makes things really ...

A.   10 September 2013: Its hard to tell if he is thinking this is a date, but if he's invited you to his cottage I think that is more than just being 'friendly'. If I were you I'd message him and say 'yeah I'd love to go for coffee but cant do xxx day because I'm busy ... (read in full...)

My mate tried to harass me!

Q.   Help a guy who I am very close with keeps trying it on with me! My boyfriend of over a year broke up with me recently and I am devastated:( i'm not coping well, I want him back:( and a lot has been going on and I am under stress from exams and...

A.   6 September 2013: Oh sweety of course this is not your fault, he is a horrible horrible person and what he did is technically a crime - you would be well within your rights to report him to the police. I know that's a bit drastic and you probably wont want to ... (read in full...)

Should you change who you are just to impress a guy?

Q.   My friend complains that she doesn't have a boyfriend, but when guys ask her out, she says no. She really likes this one guy, but she only seems interested in him when he is dating someone. Then if he asks her out, she turns him down. She changed ...

A.   6 September 2013: No, you should never change yourself - otherwise you are just faking it and eventually the guy will realise he fell in love with a fake and then end the relationship. She is clearly young and a bit immature, some girls go through this phase - ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend broke things off and says he needs person time. How much time does he need?

Q.   My boyfriend and i broke up saturday due to me bitching, complaining and naging about everything every day we lived together but he ended up moving out and staying with his friend. he keeps saying over and over that he needs time for his self, i ...

A.   6 September 2013: He broke up with you because you were bitching and nagging when you were together, yet here you are bitching and nagging again even when you are apart! The poor guy just needs you to be QUIET. I mean SILENT. Dont keep harassing him, that was what... (read in full...)

He isn't well off financially and spends most of his time with his children. This things bother me. How should I feel?

Q.   Hi Everyone, I have been in a relationship with a man for about 7 months. I really do love spending time with him, we have a lot in common and we get along very well. He is funny, fun-loving, smart, understanding, reflective, and I find him very ...

A.   6 September 2013: If you are the sort of person that doesnt want to be around kids and likes to eat out frequently, yet he is the sort of person that prefers to stay home and cook and be a family man with his kids - then you two are fundamentally incompatible. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend lied to me about his past and his sex life and I don't know how much to believe him now.

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now. Things have been fabulous, we’re looking at getting engaged soon. However, there are some things which are bothering me and I need some men’s opinions on this. I was a virgin when I met him b...

A.   5 September 2013: No not all guys can just do it whenever they want/feel like it - some men do have erectile problems and often if they are nervous, not that attracted to the woman they are with, uncomfortable, emotionally detached....these are all reasons why he ... (read in full...)

I like my best friend but she has a boyfriend. What should I do?

Q.   So I like my best friend, more than a friend should. But she currently has a boyfriend (over a year now). She knows I like her because I asked her to come with me to an event, then she wanted him to come cause she wanted us to make friends. I ...

A.   4 September 2013: Look, she knows you like her yet she hasnt left her boyfriend has she? SHE IS NOT INTERESTED. End of story. Yes he might be unsuitable, yes you think you'd be better for her - but she does not agree otherwise when she found out your feelings... (read in full...)

Need to get over someone quite pronto...too distracting!

Q.   I feel like a right mug for feeling this way about someone...almost like an infatuated teenager who is inferring way too much for their own good. I was hoping for a sympathetic ear to give a bit of advice on what the decent thing to do is in this ...

A.   4 September 2013: You mention the 'cultural background' with her living with her family - then it would seem quite likely perhaps that she has a boyfriend back in the country where she came from. Is this an Asian culture by any chance? Again perhaps it could be an ... (read in full...)

Need to get over someone quite pronto...too distracting!

Q.   I feel like a right mug for feeling this way about someone...almost like an infatuated teenager who is inferring way too much for their own good. I was hoping for a sympathetic ear to give a bit of advice on what the decent thing to do is in this ...

A.   3 September 2013: It does seem odd that she has never mentioned a man in her life after you have spent a lot of time together - can this other colleague be trusted? I'm not sure who you should believe in this, so best thing to do is talk to the girl you like. Dont ... (read in full...)

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