Like what
she writes?
... Add *_c100 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *_c100 a private message | | | *_c100's profile:About me.....
I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
|
| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
|
How is this for a profile on an online dating website?
Q. I am a member of a dating site, however I never know what different things to say in a reply that is mentioned in my profile. Here is my profile (is this too bland?): I am a happy-go-lucky guy with one life motto: Live life to the max! My f...
A. 16 July 2013: I dont think you need to change it, unless the website you are using gives priority to users that have 'updated' their profile (i.e. it moves your profile higher up in the search listings if you update it). If there is no benefit to updating i.e it ... (read in full...)
How is this for a profile on an online dating website?
Q. I am a member of a dating site, however I never know what different things to say in a reply that is mentioned in my profile. Here is my profile (is this too bland?): I am a happy-go-lucky guy with one life motto: Live life to the max! My f...
A. 16 July 2013: I would run a mile if I read a profile like that. here's why:
1. If it is a template I will have seen it on other guy's profiles, therefore I would think you are unoriginal, cant be bothered to think of anything to say that is actually about YO... (read in full...)
I don't want a divorce , so how do I stop my Husband from divorcing me?
Q. Im 23 from South Africa and currently seperated from my husband. He wants to get a divorce and I dont want to. Is there any way I can get him to go to counceling with me. We have a 1 year old baby and im 16 weeks pregnant. I love him and want us to ...
A. 20 March 2013: Well it sounds like there is not a lot you can do I'm afraid if there is a protection order against you, you cant really talk to him if his dad is pulling the strings so you just have to accept it unfortunately.
Speak to a lawyer and make sur... (read in full...)
I found out I am his mistress and cannot let him go?
Q. Hi all, I am a newly divorced lady and I'm in a relationship with a man who is 8 years younger than me. Its a fairly new relationshi (3 months) and when I got involved with the man,he gave me the impression that his relationship with the baby ma...
A. 20 March 2013: The easiest way to cut him off is to contact your phone provider and ask them to block his number from contacting you. That way he cant call you again so you cant give in to him anymore.
You know ending it is the right thing to do, it is not fair... (read in full...)
How do you break up when you live together? How could I try and make our relationship better? Am I overreacting?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, but I have been not very happy in our relationship for a few months. I suffer from depression and feel very angry and sad a lot of the time, and my partner is the one who has to deal with it. ...
A. 19 March 2013: There are a number of issues here, but overall should you break up with him over this? In my opinion this answer is no. If all he does is unintentionally put you down occasionally (we all do this to people we care about from time to time, I'm sure ... (read in full...)
What is it about a short man that women find so disgusting?
Q. I have been rejected by a few girls and have lost heart. My track record keeps me from trying as I have no reason to believe I will succeed. I have been aware that women do not find short men attractive and recently i have been following "expos...
A. 19 March 2013: Alright I'm going to be honest with you. First things first, short men are not 'disgusting'. That is way OTT, there is no reason that a girl could be so extreme to say a man is 'disgusting' just because of his height.
However you are right, m... (read in full...)
Is it possible for friends with benefits to eventually have a true romance and relationship?
Q. My best guy friend is also a friend with benefits. We started off as friends, and later I crushed on him. We talked and he told me that he was not looking for a relationship. He has a child with his ex and at the time he still had feelings for her. ...
A. 15 March 2013: FWB relationships NEVER turn into real relationships, because once you have become no strings attached sex then a man can never take you seriously.
It is very clear with this guy that he was still hung up on his ex, and now he is moving on he st... (read in full...)
Negative responses about breast implants have me questioning what I should do about my body!
Q. I've asked this question before and had some good responses, but I just read another reply to another post and this involved the respondent saying that "as long as she doesn't have breast implants"...in relation to her partner finding another women ...
A. 15 March 2013: At the end of the day you shouldnt be so concerned with what other people think! You have very valid reasons for getting implants, its not like you wanted giant fake looking breasts, you simply wanted to feel better about yourself and went for the ... (read in full...)
LDR "boyfriend" has changed his mind and says he doesn't want to talk as much as he did?
Q. Dear Cupid, Me and this guy are sort of in an LDR thing. We met in December and swapped numbers (we met in person) but I was visiting a friend 100 miles away and that's where I met the guy and he is coming to visit me in my town in a few weeks t...
A. 13 March 2013: I do this all the time - I read messages, then I wont bother replying for sometimes days at a time! Some people simply are not into talking, I personally hate texting, phone calls....all of that is just a pain to be honest. Its not that I'm super ... (read in full...)
Can we salvage this relationship?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 16 months now. The first 6-8 months were wonderful, but the progression started slowing down after that. Specifically here are the issues we are trying to work on: 1) She tells me I don't have much of a r...
A. 13 March 2013: Ok to address your points one by one:
1. If I were your girlfriend I would be very upset about this too, if you have been together for 16 months you should actively be involved in the child's life and should want to almost become a father figure t... (read in full...)
He let my family and I believe for 3 years that his parents were dead!
Q. I'm not at all sure what to think about this, and would like some opinions. Here it goes: I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He's been studying hard and is aiming for his masters, I support him fully and I know he does the same for me. We ...
A. 13 March 2013: He never told you they were dead, he simply never spoke about them. So I dont think what he has done is so terrible, he obviously doesnt have a good relationship with them and doesnt want to talk about them - I dont think it is really worth breaking ... (read in full...)
In love after 1 week, wanted to move in together after 2 weeks and now its week 3 I'm getting cold feet! Help!
Q. Hey! I am having a really hard time trying to figure out my feelings, so I thought I would ask for the help of those whose judgement is not clouded by emotions! :^) So it's a simple story, old as the sun. I met a fantastic guy on a dating site (t...
A. 13 March 2013: Re. the dating sites - once you agree to being in a relationship, and especially when "I love you's" are exchanged then yes you should both remove yourself from the dating sites. The fact he is still on there shows he is still looking at other ... (read in full...)
He seemed more interested in his ex than in me
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nine months now. We broke up around the second month because he was still thinking about his ex and wanted to figure things out. I started to move on with my life when he came back and said he wanted to be with me, ...
A. 12 March 2013: He was wrong so no you are not over-reacting, however I think he has shown in recent weeks to have finally put her behind him, he has deleted her number etc so it seems he has finally moved on.
I think you are right, at the start he probably... (read in full...)
I'm turning down other boys because I'm so in to this teacher
Q. So I am 17 and I like a teacher that is about 26 (I think.) I think he is really cute and just wonderful. However, I do not think that I fell in love with him because of his exterior beauty but because he has a beautiful personality. In a sophomore ...
A. 12 March 2013: You know that nothing can happen between you because he would get into a lot of trouble (he would lose his job, go to prison, have a criminal record for life, never work again, lose his friends and family....his life would be over basically). I'm ... (read in full...)
My Bf claims a supportive girlfriend would stay awake with him everytime he can't sleep, How can I best support him?
Q. Hi all, my problem is simple I need to know how to stay awake even when I'm really tired. My boyfriend has trouble sleeping and I really don't understand it because he says he can never sleep but by the time I wake up he's swaying back and forth a...
A. 12 March 2013: He is being very childish, very selfish and downright stupid to be honest. Just because he has a crap nights sleep it doesnt mean that everyone else should suffer too, he needs to grow up and deal with his own problems.
You are being very sup... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting? What are the tips to help me become more positive about my life?
Q. I'm nearing my twenties and have been single all my life. Anyone I have liked haven't liked me back, anyone who does like me either want me for one night only or 'just as a friend'. I'm starting to feel very lonely and unwanted. Maybe i'm over reac...
A. 12 March 2013: Yes you are over-reacting I'm afraid. If you were aged 50 and had been single 'all your life' then yes you would have good reason to be upset, but you are only 19/20 so you really need some perspective!
Think about it this way, you have not been... (read in full...)
What can I say when boyfriend jokes that I should get pregnant? I feel pressured by his words.
Q. My boyfriend sometimes makes jokes that I should get pregnant. Eg rub my stomach or put his ear to my stomach. Even though I'm not pregnant. He also days things like " if you got pregnant then I'll have to take this new job. I'll support you no ...
A. 12 March 2013: Well it sounds like you are not ready to have children yet, so the simple answer is keep on using protection and if he refuses to use protection, dont have sex with him. Are you taking the contraceptive pill? Only the woman can take the pill so that ... (read in full...)
What sort of support do I need? I feel like the only time I can be close to someone is when I drink alcohol.
Q. So, I was at my best friend's house the other night, which was supposed to be a movie-night but ended up turning into a full-on boozefest. Needless to say, I drank way too much and my friends started trying to set me up with one of the guys the...
A. 11 March 2013: If you had been provocative or led him on in any way - like kissing him lots, getting a bit sexual (if you know what I mean) without actually doing anything....then perhaps he could have thought that you wanted something more and he could have had ... (read in full...)
broke up with my boyfriend but he is still acting like one.
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years about a month ago. He was jealous, controlling, he was lazy and lives with his mother. I was young at the start of the relationship so I was spoon fed everything he told me. I was young and silly so I flashed ...
A. 11 March 2013: "We decided to remain friends because we get along" - clearly you do not get along because he is controlling and jealous and you dislike his behaviour. There is no 'getting along' here, AT ALL.
"Am I doing anything wrong?". YES. What is 'wrong' ... (read in full...)
What sort of support do I need? I feel like the only time I can be close to someone is when I drink alcohol.
Q. So, I was at my best friend's house the other night, which was supposed to be a movie-night but ended up turning into a full-on boozefest. Needless to say, I drank way too much and my friends started trying to set me up with one of the guys the...
A. 11 March 2013: The other answers are both spot on - it is too soon after your breakup to be thinking about other guys, and the reason why you can only get close to someone when you are drunk is because your ex damaged your confidence and drink (alcohol) gives you ... (read in full...)
My overweight partner has diabetes and he always wants the same position for sex. What can I do? I am losing my desire for sex with him.
Q. My partner is overweight and has diabetes He always wants sex using just one position that suits him I hate it and have lost interest as there is no loving emotional togetherness. At first it was a novelty now I cringe and just don't want it at...
A. 11 March 2013: Is he trying to lose weight? I think that is the first step, he needs to lose weight to help his diabetes so for his health's sake he needs to start a healthy lifestyle. If he is not trying, then you need to talk to him about how you can help him ... (read in full...)
Yes I have a crush on this guy. I dreamt about him. Can anyone tell me if this indicates changes in my feelings towards him?
Q. On general, I don't dream. When I do dream, it's usually when I'm ill, and then it's a nightmare. I have feelings for someone in my year. I'm not quite in love with him yet,(or if I am, I don't want to admit it), but it's more than a crush. ...
A. 11 March 2013: Dreaming about someone you like is normal, all this confirms is that you like this guy.
You cannot love someone you are not in a relationship with - this is a common mistake teenagers make, so many teens say 'I love xxx I see him around school a... (read in full...)
He wants to get married this summer but I think we are moving too fast
Q. my boyfriend(26) and i(20) have been dating for about 4 months and we are engaged. why so fast? partially because of religious rules in my family where "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationships aren't allowed, yes I am well aware that I am old enough to ...
A. 11 March 2013: WOW. This is an utter mess, a disaster waiting to happen basically. DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN. I cannot tell you that enough, you have gotten yourself into a horribly messy situation where he was cheating on his ex with you when you met (even if it was ... (read in full...)
I am wondering if I should give up or take a risk and chase her!
Q. I've been seeing this one girl lately since for the last two months, and she and I have been having fun a lot of fun. We started off with coffee, and went toward sharing a pizza in the park, to getting movie tickets on Valentine's Day... and also ...
A. 11 March 2013: Well I think face to face is always the best option, so why not invite her to hang out or go out somewhere within the next week or so, and then tell her how you feel.
Waiting for 6 weeks is a bad idea, as you said she could easily meet someone ... (read in full...)
I think he ran but I also think I pushed my b/f away. Did I just mess up a great thing?
Q. I met the man of my dreams 6 months ago. We have been inseperable since our very first date. I spent two years single before meeting him, one year by choice, the second because I didn't met anybody. And then he came into my life. We clicked on every ...
A. 7 March 2013: Look, you were only together 6 months and after 4 months you had problems - it should not be that hard!
After 6 months it still should be the honeymoon period, things should be fun and easy, there should not be any problems that early on. If t... (read in full...)
My husband wants sex and I don’t. I love my husband. I just don’t want to have sex with him.
Q. My problem is a little embarrassing, but it’s causing a lot of trouble in my marriage. My husband wants sex and I don’t. I love my husband. I just don’t want to have sex with him. It has gotten to the point I dread the weekend because I know...
A. 7 March 2013: Sex is a massive part of a relationship, without sex you are basically just good friends living together. Affection, intimacy, passion....these are all required to make a marriage or relationship last. You are being incredibly selfish to expect your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex girlfriend keeps trying to get in touch with him, even though it's long been over. What's going on?
Q. My boyfriends ex girlfriend keeps trying to get in touch with my boyfriend. They dated for five years and they broke up six years ago. He and I have been together for almost two years. And he's told me their break up was very bad and they never ...
A. 7 March 2013: They had a long relationship, so perhaps she just cant let go. This happens for a lot of women, they are just incapable of getting over certain ex's and they will cling onto them in any way they can.
We can never know what is going on in her head... (read in full...)
I want to leave him and find someone I can show affection to, but I worry it will affect my children negatively.
Q. My husband and I have been together for 17years and married for almost 12. We are fairly young to have a relationship that has gone on for this long...I am 32 and he is 34. It was great in the beginning, however over the years we hardly touch, talk ...
A. 7 March 2013: Tell your husband how bad this is for you. You have to give him the opportunity to understand how unhappy you are, and equally for him to open up about why he wont spend time with you and whether he wants to try and save this marriage. Have you ever ... (read in full...)
Would you marry a guy who never went to college?
Q. Currently less than 40% of men will graduate from college, that's 140 women with college degrees for ever 100 men with a degree. at best its expected to get worse, on top of that jobs traditionally held predominantly by men are evaporating at an ...
A. 5 March 2013: A man's education is somewhat irrelevant to me, as long as he is still an interesting person who is intelligent (you can be intelligent without being academic) then that is more than enough for me.
However a man's employment is more importan... (read in full...)
I am wondering if I should give up or take a risk and chase her!
Q. I've been seeing this one girl lately since for the last two months, and she and I have been having fun a lot of fun. We started off with coffee, and went toward sharing a pizza in the park, to getting movie tickets on Valentine's Day... and also ...
A. 5 March 2013: Either way you will be hurt - if you walk away from her you will always wonder 'what if' and it will hurt you wondering what could have been, and you will miss hanging out with her. Equally it will hurt if she turns out to be a lesbian, however I ... (read in full...)
She says she can tell lies about other guys as she is not my wife!
Q. i have been dating since 2 years. my girlfriend wants us to be engaged and then married. i have found her to be on dating sites many times and text messenging guys on different phone numbers. she always told lies about it, but now said that it is ...
A. 5 March 2013: She clearly has some MAJOR issues, normal behaviour for a girl who wants her boyfriend to propose would include the girl being as nice as possible to her boyfriend to ensure that he sees her as future wife material.
Your girlfriend is emotiona... (read in full...)
How is this for a profile on an online dating website?
Q. I am a member of a dating site, however I never know what different things to say in a reply that is mentioned in my profile. Here is my profile (is this too bland?): I am a happy-go-lucky guy with one life motto: Live life to the max! My f...
A. 5 March 2013: Yes I'd definitely put up a new picture, the key with dating sites is to always be honest so rather than picking a photo from years ago where you look great, show a picture of how you look now. And if you can upload more than 1 photo, then that is ... (read in full...)
How is this for a profile on an online dating website?
Q. I am a member of a dating site, however I never know what different things to say in a reply that is mentioned in my profile. Here is my profile (is this too bland?): I am a happy-go-lucky guy with one life motto: Live life to the max! My f...
A. 5 March 2013: That's much better, I'd just lose the 2 references to crying (men crying is not particularly attractive to women!) and remove the part about 'washing' your food down with alcoholic drinks. Makes it sound like you cant eat without having an alcoholic ... (read in full...)
How is this for a profile on an online dating website?
Q. I am a member of a dating site, however I never know what different things to say in a reply that is mentioned in my profile. Here is my profile (is this too bland?): I am a happy-go-lucky guy with one life motto: Live life to the max! My f...
A. 4 March 2013: I think it is just lacking in details really, it is very generic and I bet most males or females could use your profile to describe themselves. There is nothing on this that makes you unique, or would give a woman any idea what you are interested ... (read in full...)
We're best friends but our partners don't seem too thrilled with it
Q. Hi, My bestfriend happens to be this guy I'v known since I was 8 years old,I'm 24 now and we still remain that close,he's 24 too..I'v dated men,so has he but the both of us never had a relationship ever! Let's call him mark,now mark has stood by...
A. 4 March 2013: Well Mark was wrong for choosing your event over hers, he needs to learn that if he wants a sucessful relationship he has to put his girlfriend first over his friends.
In an ideal world you would find a boyfriend then the 4 of you could go out o... (read in full...)
Was I dumped on Valentine's Day and I just didn't realize it?
Q. I've been dating a woman since Nov 2012 and we are intimate. I sent her a Valentine's day card where I refer to her as my girlfriend and tell her how I appreciate her. She never responded to my Valentine's day card even though she did receive it. ...
A. 4 March 2013: As oldbag said, you cant have been 'dumped' because you were never 'together' properly. All your 'relationship' seems to consist of is you sending her gifts and calling her, being intimate occasionally and that's about it.
If you were properly... (read in full...)
I'm cheating on my partner of six years.
Q. HiI`m asking for some advice. five months ago I started an affair with a woman 20 years younger than me.I`m in a 6 year relationship with another woman who has constantly accussed me of having affairs.I have never had an affair until now. It sta...
A. 4 March 2013: You obviously dont love your partner otherwise you would not have had the affair, so the first thing you need to do is end your relationship. It is not fair on your partner to remain in this sham of a relationship, she clearly struggles with trust ... (read in full...)
How can I make new single friends? Everyone I work with or know is either married or engaged
Q. How do I make new single friends to go out with? I am 27 and got out of a 4 year relationship about 3 months ago. I now feel ready to get back out there and start living again, but all of my friends are in long term relationships and don't feel lik...
A. 4 March 2013: This is a bit of an unusual way of making new friends, but I read about this website and it sounds like a great idea so perhaps it might work for you http://www.citysocialising.com/home.html
As long as you live near one of the cities they operate ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel THAT miserable after ending a very bad relationship? What if the misery taints our own relationship? Please help!
Q. The situation is this: I got close with a female friend who at the time had a boyfriend. She wanted to make our relationship physical; we had very strong feelings for each other. At first I declined but, upon her insistance that her current ...
A. 4 March 2013: The issue is this - if the relationship was really THAT BAD, she wouldnt have been with him regardless of you coming into the picture. The fact that she had 2 boyfriends for 3 months is a clear indicator that her relationship wasnt as bad as she ... (read in full...)
How do tell my mother that I'm dating a man 18 years older than me?
Q. I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 39. We've been dating for almost two months and very few people in my life know about him. Just my sisters and a few coworkers from my job. (they know him because he stops by every once in a while) My mother has no id...
A. 4 March 2013: If you are an adult and are mature enough to handle a relationship with a man so much older than you, then you sure as hell should be mature enough to speak to your parents about this.
All you can do is come out with it, there is no good way to w... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said to not meet for awhile until after his divorce is finalized
Q. My boyfriend said to not meet for awhile until after his divorce is finalized (they've been separated almost a year, and he filed for the divorce 3 months ago). He wants a divorce because his wife cheated on him. He told me it shouldn't be any...
A. 1 March 2013: This is a bit odd and I can understand why you are worried. There is no real way of telling exactly what is going on here, and I think you are just going to have to give him the benefit of the doubt.
There could be many reasons why he doesnt w... (read in full...)
Should I have my boyfriend over and let him tell my dad we'll be out for 2 days?
Q. For Valentine's, my 33 year-old boyfriend got me a gift voucher, good for a spa day for two, and a night in a hotel, breakfast included. We've gone to the spa (great, by the way), and we will book the night very soon. However, I mentioned this...
A. 1 March 2013: You are 23 and that makes you an adult, so you can go where you want with whoever you want. If your boyfriend wants to take you away for a short break, that is a lovely thing to do and I'm sure you dad wont be surprised that your boyfriend is taking ... (read in full...)
My friend thinks this guy is too old for me but I could see him being my FWB
Q. A few weeks ago I went to the pub with my friend (20) her parents, her boyfriend (also 20) and her male friend from high school (who again is also 20) Her male friend had been flirting with me all night and when I had gone home, he messages me on ...
A. 1 March 2013: Why at your age do you want to get involved with a guy you are not attracted to? If you go around having FWB's aged 17 you will get a name for yourself, casual sex is just not cool and no guy will respect you in the future if you have been going ... (read in full...)
| *_c100's friends
These are mutual friends, so *_c100 has
added them and they have added *_c100!
|
