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We've both confessed that we like each other, but he seems to be talking less?

Tagged as: Crushes<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 February 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 February 2014)
A age 30-35, * writes:

We've known eachother for a few months now, met up a couple of times, and as the weeks went by I started to like him. We would talk to each other almost everyday, and feelings got stronger on my part. The other day, we were both flirting like crazy, and both arranged a day out together next week. So I asked him is it a date? He said "That sounds like a good idea!". And as we were on the subject I told him how I felt. He replied with "Realy?! I thought you was just being friendly, but I really like you too".

It's been day 3 since our confession, and he hasnt been speaking to me as much. Now he is usually quite a shy guy, finds it hard to open up, but on fb he is usually quite chatty. I started the conversation the other day, and we spoke all night. But again today, he hasn't said anything to me. So I refuse to message him first again. I dont know if I should be worried or not? I dont think he would lie to me about how he felt, but why is he being less talkative? Will he follow up this date next week? What should I do?

View related questions: flirt, shy

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (25 February 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwait and see what happens on the date...

just verify with him the night before that it's still on.

other than that let him go.

he's probably got other things going on and is relaxed about getting in touch with you because the date is set.

some guys just don't need daily contact and sometimes they need a bit of space to process stuff...

don't panic until after the first date...

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2014):

k_c100 agony auntGenerally if a guy is not chasing you then he's not that into you - simple as that.

I think you've taken him by surprise by admitting you like him, the comment about being 'friendly' makes me think he only ever saw you as a friend and didnt get any romantic signals from you. So I'm not convinced how much he actually 'likes' you, I think he might just have said that to soften the blow, rejecting you there and then would have been harsh so he said something nice to avoid hurting your feelings.

But you have to learn that men are very simple creatures, when they like a woman they will make it crystal clear and will do the chasing.

I had a friend who liked a guy at work, he told her he liked her and she made it clear she liked him too. They would chat a lot and text when they were not at work, she developed fairly strong feelings for him. They went out on a date once, then he kind of tailed off with the contact and cooled off a lot. She still felt the same and wondered why, after he admitted he liked her, nothing was really happening. I told her he just wasnt that interested and it was time to move on. So she did, found a great guy who made it obvious from the start he liked her, he asked her out on dates and kept in contact at all times - he did the chasing. Guess what, as soon as other guy found out she had a new guy he became interested again!

Some men play games, and it sounds like you have one of those on your hands. He might enjoy talking to you and enjoy your company when he's got nothing better to do, but he's not *that* interested in you otherwise he would be doing the chasing.

If he takes you out next week great - but dont get your hopes up. I dont think he is that bothered about you and he will be one of those guys that messes you around.

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