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I think she might be the one, but she's with someone else

Tagged as: Crushes, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 November 2013) 5 Answers - (Newest, 11 December 2013)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

have i found the one? i`ve met this girl 2 months ago n in 2 months we grown to be good friends and i am developing feelings for her trouble is she is already in a relationship but she seems to like me n spends more time with me than she does her bf and i feel like she is the one for me as i`ve never felt this way about a girl before its different to the girls in the past oh jus to add i`m 24 shes 19 like i say she seems to like me we get on soooo well together but i`m not sure what to do i have made my feelings clear to her and she still seems to want to meet up with me all the time i`ve seen her every day the past 4 days n probz meetin up tomorrow as well we have such a great time together but where do i go from here how do i try to move forward?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2013):

Well if she has a boyfriend and is spending more time with you, think what it would be like if you became her boyfriend. Would she spend more time with someone else?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

yh not really helpful answers guys jus made me feel s**t n jus to reiterate i know she with this guy dnt know him exactly but seen him around a few times n i wud never try to get her in bed or anything like tht while she still with him thts not the type of guy i`am

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (15 November 2013):

k_c100 agony auntIn 2 months there is no way of knowing if you have met 'the one', it is too soon. Also, I highly doubt that she will be 'the one' if she is only 19, she might like you know but she will grow up and mature a lot over the next few years and she will change, so much so that you probably wouldnt feature in her life anymore.

19 year olds are hardly ever in the position to settle down with someone, so while you might think she is the one, she probably wont feel the same and chances are you might be with her 1-2 years before she grows up and decides she wants to move on to someone else.

But if you still do want to pursue her, despite knowing that she is very young and likely to change in the next few years - then you have to be honest with her.

Ok so she knows how you feel, but have you actually told her face to face that you want her to leave her boyfriend for you so you can be together? You need to talk to her properly, explain you like her more than just friends and want her to be your girlfriend. So she either leaves her bf for you, or if she wants to stay with her bf then you have to respect her choice, accept she doesnt like you anymore than a friend and move on.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 November 2013):

Honeypie agony auntYou don't.

It's kind of simple. IF you CAN'T JUST be a friend then you need to back off and walk away.

She IS with someone else. HER choice.

HOW would you feel if your GF got a male friend and then he decided to hit on your GF?

And.. IF she is willing to have a little "dalliance" with you while still seeing her BF, do you think she would stay faithful to you? OR how long do you think it will take before she swaps you out for someone else?

It's just bad form to hit on someone else GF. And it's worse to pretend to be a friend with the ulterior motive of trying to get her to "date" you or sleep with you.

Come on... Use a little common sense.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2013):

She is still young, and is playing with fire...

All the time she is spending with you, she is building a connection and it doesn't mean she will leave her boyfriend.

She needs to decide if she wants to be with her boyfriend, OR, knowing how you feel about her, if she is also growing feelings for you, she needs to break up with her boyfriend before she takes things to another level with you.

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