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... Send *earkelja a private message | | | *earkelja's profile:This site has been a wonderful experience for me. I hope that I have helped some of you in some small way.
I'll be back from time to time to help where I can. My focus for now is to get my life back to good. Thank you to those of you who have helped me along my journey. Your help, love and guidance have made me strong.
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Do you think he is into me or not really, anymore?
Q. I was practice teaching at this school for 2 months but left to teach somewhere else. I found a DVD I borrowed from one of the others teachers a month later and contacted him to tell him I had it and if he wanted it back. I've always had a lit...
A. 29 February 2008: I am going to be honest with you. I have lived through this situation for the last year with a man that I care very much about-still do. He's been hot and cold with me and sending me so many mixed signals my head has exploded.
What I have det... (read in full...)
Do you think he is into me or not really, anymore?
Q. I was practice teaching at this school for 2 months but left to teach somewhere else. I found a DVD I borrowed from one of the others teachers a month later and contacted him to tell him I had it and if he wanted it back. I've always had a lit...
A. 26 February 2008: It it's any consolation, we've all been there. So, yes it sucks. We don't know what happened or where their heads are at but that's just the way it is. However, I don't think in all my dating years I've ever not been honest and up front with ... (read in full...)
Do you have any tips to try to get rid of my feelings?
Q. (Sorry, this is a repost after getting an account.) So, I've been looking for some help from various places, and this situation I'm in is quite the rough one. To start this off, it's an online relationship, we talk on the phone, but there's n...
A. 23 February 2008: Do I have this right... this girl is your friend and she called you for advice and ended up in tears, then took a call from a guy who is causing her to be upset, letting you go?
I know you probably care more than a friend for this girl and you ... (read in full...)
Do you think he is into me or not really, anymore?
Q. I was practice teaching at this school for 2 months but left to teach somewhere else. I found a DVD I borrowed from one of the others teachers a month later and contacted him to tell him I had it and if he wanted it back. I've always had a lit...
A. 23 February 2008: There are plenty of fish in the sea. In time you will stop thinking about him. I am giving you the best advice possible....let him alone....do not contact him....
If you ever want a chance with him again, let him alone.... (read in full...)
Why do long term relationships end?
Q. Hello, Andy00 here. First, I want to suggest that nobody here answer this question if they think that they will just be opening up old wounds. Most of you know that my long distance relationship (2 years) disbanded (she dumped me) almost...
A. 22 February 2008: Here are the list of reasons my long term relationships ended.
1) too young to have been together, didn't know what we wanted, really went our separate ways
2) boyfriend moved away; tried the long distance thing but we just grew apart; tried to... (read in full...)
Help! Can any one help make some sense of this?????
Q. Okay please help me... I just found this site and from what I could see people here seem friendly enough and certainly mature. I am not a young girl and I believe I know in my heart what is right here but I have to ask some mature men out there a ...
A. 22 February 2008: First off, I am a woman, feel free to ignore what I have to say. I've been through this as well. It really has nothing to do with you as you've figured out. It is an issue and will continue to be an issue in the relationship. A man's lack of ... (read in full...)
It intimidates me that she is smarter! And she loves me although I don't see why!
Q. I don't know if there's anyone out there with this problem but my girlfriend is alot smarter than me which imtidate me alot.She went to USC and I dropped out of community college after one semester because I simply can't speak in front of a group ...
A. 21 February 2008: As you probably can see, this is your problem, not hers. You need to deal with this problem head on because it will sabotage the relationship if you do not.
From experience, I was married to a man for 20 years who did not have the formal e... (read in full...)
Do you think he is into me or not really, anymore?
Q. I was practice teaching at this school for 2 months but left to teach somewhere else. I found a DVD I borrowed from one of the others teachers a month later and contacted him to tell him I had it and if he wanted it back. I've always had a lit...
A. 21 February 2008: If I were you, I would not do this. He will think you are desperate. Has he initiated any contact? Has he asked you out? If he was interested he would have suggested an alternative time to meet but he did not. Please let him come to you. Now, ... (read in full...)
Do you think he is into me or not really, anymore?
Q. I was practice teaching at this school for 2 months but left to teach somewhere else. I found a DVD I borrowed from one of the others teachers a month later and contacted him to tell him I had it and if he wanted it back. I've always had a lit...
A. 21 February 2008: Yes...let it go. Believe me, you do not want to pursue this any further. You'll only regret what you do. No man is worth this kind of attention.... (read in full...)
Do you think he is into me or not really, anymore?
Q. I was practice teaching at this school for 2 months but left to teach somewhere else. I found a DVD I borrowed from one of the others teachers a month later and contacted him to tell him I had it and if he wanted it back. I've always had a lit...
A. 19 February 2008: I think you should not reply to his email. Let it go until you have something to say to him or maybe just let it go. Let him work for you. I have been told that if a guy has to work for you that they appreciate more. Something to do with the ... (read in full...)
Summer vacation in safety - New York City or Los Angeles? Please help me decide.
Q. Ok, this is not a relationship problem. I want to take my daughter on a vacation this summer and I have two choices. Either Los Angelos where we will have to rent a car but we can go to the beaches and also go shopping on rodeo drive (mind you we ...
A. 18 February 2008: GrimmReality, I've been to Chicago many times over and yes, it is a great city. I would highly recommend it to anyone.
Thank you all of you. I am going to take all of your advice, especially anonymous female and look at some of the tourist ... (read in full...)
Do Girls Really Like it When A Boyfriend Writes Them a Poem?
Q. I have a question for all you good natured girls? If I were to write a poem to a girl telling her that I wish she was mine; that, I would protect her; that, I would hold her in my arms when she is cold; that, I would wipe her tears away when she is ...
A. 18 February 2008: Excellent words to live by. I can live with the regret of trying but not the regret of not trying.
I say give her that poem. You might even read it to her over a glass of wine.
Take care and I am cheering you on. Let us know how it goes.... (read in full...)
His cheating was not... cheating, as we had decided we didn't have an exclusive relation. After I found out I went angry, will he contact me again?
Q. I recently found out the man I've been sleeping with for 3 yrs was sleeping with another women. We weren't BR/GF we were FWB. Needless to say when I found out I blew upa nd said very hateful things to him. I apologised afterwards and have left ...
A. 17 February 2008: I think you need to decide if you want an exculsive relationship or not with this man. Once you decide that and if he will not give it to you, then you shouldn't want the relationship to go that way. If the two of you can decide to be friends ... (read in full...)
We both love each other just. I need to know what is up with this girl... any women got any similar situations, or could translate this strange language of women I don't get?
Q. Sorry if this question is long but you kinda need to know the story. I met this girl in September. We started dating on December 1st and broke up recently cause she said she was to busy to see me also she said she can't forget her first love n...
A. 17 February 2008: It is very hard on self esteem to get dumped. Sometimes a person just can't get past it. If her ex is still treating her poorly, this is contributing to her self esteem issues. Is there a way you (or her friends) can get her away from this man?
... (read in full...)
A husband who loves his wife doesn't say things like that to her right...?
Q. My husband and I got into an arguement last evening. He was having a beer during dinner and kept on commenting how good the beer tastes throughout dinner and after dinner. While then, I said to him that flowers are nice to give, especially if one ...
A. 17 February 2008: How many beers did your husband have? Could it have been the beer talking? At any rate, no, husbands should not be saying things like that to their wives.
I will tell you that if you felt bad that you didn't get flowers for Valentine's Day you ... (read in full...)
Am I normal??? How can I overcome this shyness with women?
Q. I want to know if I'm a normal guy. I'm 26 years old and I don't date at all. Not because I don't want to date, I find woman very attractive, I'm just shy. I have gone on a total of 5 dates my whole life, and have never been on a second date. ...
A. 17 February 2008: How soon after the date do you call the woman up? If you had a good time, the max you should wait is 3 days. If you wait longer, the woman may be losing interest. When this happens, no matter when you call, she will be unavailable to you, unless ... (read in full...)
My partner has more issues and concerns over my parent's money, than I do?
Q. Hi there. I've noticed there are some good aunts and uncles on this site who can throw light onto baffling behaviour! So I've come to you with a question if I may? My partner constantly criticises my parents (to me) on a daily basis for not ...
A. 17 February 2008: Your partner is out of bounds here. Even if you were married to him, he has no right to even think about what your parents will leave to you, if anything. I am sorry for the abuse you went through and I think you've really come through it all ... (read in full...)
Any tips for getting over being messed over by a guy?
Q. Hi, Has anybody got any tips for getting over being messed about by a guy. I keep thinking about him all the time. Sometimes I'm angry at what he did, sometimes I remember the chemistry we had and I'm hoping he will call me, other times I'm trying...
A. 17 February 2008: And...you're going through the same thing as me... What is in the water?
Trying to forget someone that you liked a lot and who threw you for a loop is a challenge and I know for me I too have similar attention at work, home, etc issues. It's har... (read in full...)
Do you think he is into me or not really, anymore?
Q. I was practice teaching at this school for 2 months but left to teach somewhere else. I found a DVD I borrowed from one of the others teachers a month later and contacted him to tell him I had it and if he wanted it back. I've always had a lit...
A. 16 February 2008: If I were you I would let it go. He knows you are interested in spending time with you. Some guys freak out when girls are aggressive. If he was really into you he would have suggested an alternative time to meet. The fact that he stalled his ... (read in full...)
What can I do?
Q. I have a problem with my boyfriend, I feel that he is going too fast for me I am constantly stressed out. I want a relationship with him but my mum and dad won't let me, they don't want me to see him but I do, I want to be there for him. He has a ...
A. 16 February 2008: Couple of issues here I think. If you feel your boyfriend is going way too fast, he is. Why don't your mum and dad want you to date him? Are they concerned about his emotional problems? Anyway, you are old enough to listen to what they have to ... (read in full...)
Am I normal??? How can I overcome this shyness with women?
Q. I want to know if I'm a normal guy. I'm 26 years old and I don't date at all. Not because I don't want to date, I find woman very attractive, I'm just shy. I have gone on a total of 5 dates my whole life, and have never been on a second date. ...
A. 16 February 2008: What happens on the first date that you don't get to a 2nd date? If it is because you don't click then that's ok. If it's because you can't get past some kind of committment issue then I'd say you need to nip this in the bud. A lot of people are ... (read in full...)
Do Girls Really Like it When A Boyfriend Writes Them a Poem?
Q. I have a question for all you good natured girls? If I were to write a poem to a girl telling her that I wish she was mine; that, I would protect her; that, I would hold her in my arms when she is cold; that, I would wipe her tears away when she is ...
A. 16 February 2008: Given your age I would expect the women you date to have a fair amount of maturity. In this case, I think a woman would appreciate the poem. The only issue is that if she doesn't feel the same it may make her feel uncomfortable and if you are not ... (read in full...)
Can a lost love return once you've set them free? Is there really hope or is it better to stay single?
Q. My ex and father of my children says that he needs his time and wishes that one day we will return together later in life but there is too much water under the bridge (I agree), I love him and hate him at the same time but I miss him and want to ...
A. 16 February 2008: Hello,
There are certainly many examples of people getting back with former significant others. Sometimes when people hurt us so badly we need time to put things into perspective. Right now you hate this man and you both agree that you are not ... (read in full...)
Do you think we have a future??
Q. I need to know if there is an answer to my question, me and my ex broke up last september because he cheated on me with another women with whom he is still seeing. He came here tonight and we had sex, not the first time, we do have sex regularl...
A. 15 February 2008: If your ex broke up because he was cheating on you and now he is cheating with you he probably doesn't fancy the idea of being a one woman man.
I think the future you will have with him involves another woman. So you need to decide if that's o... (read in full...)
Is it normal to say mean things to your spouse?
Q. "My wife displays no affection towards me whatsoever and I'm ready to leave! Help!" When we first met it was like magic. I lived in a big city in an upscale neighborhood and had a thriving business. I was 37 never married and no kids. She lived...
A. 15 February 2008: You are saying mean things to your wife because you have bottled up your feelings and they are coming out sideways in your comments. I don't think you intend to say mean things but that is what happens when you are not happy.
I think you were tak... (read in full...)
I just dumped him for the 5th time in 4 years! Do guys act this crappy on purpose?
Q. I met an old flame a month ago in a club and he texted me to see if we could meet up again. I played hard to get because he has messed me about in the past. Anyway I gave in and let him come round. We just chatted, he said he had changed and we were ...
A. 14 February 2008: sounds like a classic committment phobia. Or maybe he's a masochist who loves being dumped. Either way, he is not someone you should give a 6th look at.
And to be honest, I do think that sometimes men treat you bad so you do dump them. These th... (read in full...)
Is she confused, scared or have commitment issues?
Q. I am writing this because I am currently at a point where I do not know what to do. My girlfriend and I broke up two weeks ago and I have given her the space she has needed however it is still hard to understand why she broke up. We have some ...
A. 14 February 2008: I think you should give her a bit of time to get her feelings in order. Then I would call her and ask her how she is doing. Ask her if she would feel up to joining you for a cup of coffee. You then should ask her if you can understand why she ... (read in full...)
How come I haven't settled down with anyone yet do you think?
Q. I am an open mind attractive 34 y.o. woman. I am independent, work full time, have been in UK on my own for 10 years, inteligent, etc. but today i was struck with a question from someone i do care, he said: ' i really do not understand why you do ...
A. 14 February 2008: My personal opinion is that you are not in a good place for a relationship. I think that you are fairly comfortable with your life as it is. Is that so bad? Do you feel bad that you are not with someone or is that coming from people who are ... (read in full...)
Why do guys always ask me out after the first date?
Q. What does it mean when a guy asks you to be his girlfriend after the first date? This has happened to me 4 times now and I wanted to know whether I actually impressed these guys that much for them to want me to be their girlfriend. Or if it was just...
A. 14 February 2008: So these guys ask you to be their girlfriend in a text message? I hope you are saying, no. Try to find someone who can actually communicate with you.... ... (read in full...)
He dated my mum first. Is this so wrong?
Q. The guy that I have really strong feelings for has dated my mom in the past over a decade ago. They were intimate and had a sexual relationship. This is not an ideal situation and normally I'm not interested in this type of dating, I don't like to ...
A. 14 February 2008: I think there are so many fish in the sea and this fish has the potential to rot up your relationship with your mom. You say you aren't close now but remember family is family. It really isn't worth destroying what little relationship you have.
... (read in full...)
He never follows through and hangs out with me...should I write a note to get closure??
Q. Basically I met a guy online about 6 months ago, we seemed to hit it off, met up a couple of times (just chatted but he seemed keen) and every week almost he texts to say we should go out to a movie or for a drink the following week. But then when ...
A. 14 February 2008: I think it's best to ignore him. Avoid any contact. If he contacts you asking to get together you could respond. "no, I have decided to move on. Please don't contact me further."
He's obviously got some issues but the fact that he's strung y... (read in full...)
Why do guys always ask me out after the first date?
Q. What does it mean when a guy asks you to be his girlfriend after the first date? This has happened to me 4 times now and I wanted to know whether I actually impressed these guys that much for them to want me to be their girlfriend. Or if it was just...
A. 14 February 2008: Well, do you sleep with these guys when they ask you to be their girlfriend? How long do they stay after you've slept with them? Do they know each other? Could they be talking? Not really sure what the cycle of the relationship is, that could ... (read in full...)
How do I approach this situation for the best?
Q. God I'm in agony. Me and the major love of my life who I have been with for 6 years have had a major major bust up about a week ago (we've had lots of problems) and not spoken for a week (he stormed out of the house and said he was never coming ...
A. 14 February 2008: One-please thank your sister for her good intentions but now she needs to stay out of it. Period. You do owe him an apology for your sister's behavior...or she does.
Two-you both need a cooling off period. He may or may not call and if you want... (read in full...)
Did I do something wrong here?
Q. Hello everyone, I need a bit of advice. Two Saturdays ago I went to my local pub/restraunt where I had met my boyfreind (now ex), everything was going well in a way, but he kept on believing his mate over me, anyway cut a long story short, as I ...
A. 12 February 2008: Better off with a guy who does his dirty deeds with a text message. Doesn't sound too caring to me. Who says "all you do is sit there." It is possible his mate said something but who cares. His mate is as much a loser as he is. Sent to (and ... (read in full...)
Do I go or should I stay...?
Q. Hi im writing to get some advice coz really don't know wat to do... I'm in a relationship for 2 years and still not sure whether he is the one... We've had great time but it hasn't started as I'd like it to start... We've met in a club and he ...
A. 12 February 2008: You are pretty young to be committing your life to someone you are staying with out of guilt. If you are afraid of having no-one or of losing him that is a risk you really have to take. If you don't go out there and gain some independence at this ... (read in full...)
Shall I continue talking to this man?
Q. Hi, i registered for online dating 3 days ago and messaged a selection of guys my own age,(26) and got no response, and got messages from some unsuitable people. i was just about to write it off when i received a message from a guy who it said ...
A. 12 February 2008: I think you should set up an email account with msn or yahoo that doesn't reveal your name. If things don't go well with this guy, you can drop the account and you'll still have your own email address to fall back on.
Most of these email ac... (read in full...)
What was going through his mind? I feel completely rejected and bitter.
Q. Why would a guy tell you he " can't do the relationship thing at the moment " yet he carries on seeing you cos he apparently likes you sooo much, develops a bit of an obssession with you though technically you can only be 'friends'. Then, suddenly ...
A. 10 February 2008: This is a classic relationship pattern where the person (could be man or woman, usually more men) enjoy the chase and new phase in a relationship. Once they get past this stage, they can't continue in the relationship further call it committment ... (read in full...)
Can't live with him or without him...which option is the lesser of two evils??
Q. Hello I've been browsing this site recently to see if I can get an answer to my problem. I'm in a relationship with someone I love I guess I would call him the love of my life so far. I've been with him a few years now but it is very up and down...
A. 10 February 2008: There is a gage to relationships and to me if this guy is making you so stressed out that it is affecting your health then it is not a good relationship for you. If you are enduring breaks from time to time it seems to me that you are going through ... (read in full...)
My ex called out of the blue. When I call back should I suggest that we get together?
Q. Hoping one of the great and caring agony aunts can help me here. I was with my boyfriend for twelve years and he just packed his bags and left two and a half years ago. He went back to his hometown and reconnected with a new person. Understandably ...
A. 9 February 2008: I got some very good advice when I was younger. Let the past be the past and always keep your life moving in forward. It would be one thing if there were circumstances beyond his control that caused your breakup but it seems he made his choice. ... (read in full...)
Will I ever find a boyfriend?
Q. Help, I've only ever had 1 boyfriend at the age of 24 and it lasted only 5 weeks, he broke it off with me though, he was the one who made the first move and ended it through text saying I need someone on my own level and he did not feel the same, ...
A. 9 February 2008: Dr. Vendetta-you have a right to be angry with women. I wonder why I am attracted to these uncaring men. I don't think I thought they be uncaring in the beginning. We have these fantasies of how good they will be and it never works out that way. ... (read in full...)
Settling for comfortable...or learning to live with scared of commitment???
Q. First of all, I have to say that it's the first time I've ever used an advice site like this. It is kind of weird for me, but I am getting used to it. ha Anyway, I have always had a close relationship with one of my closest guy friends. We have...
A. 8 February 2008: My advice to you would be not to settle for anyone. It will only cause problems for you down the road. The two of you will have so many rocks in the road and if you aren't really committed to each other and in love, you won't get past the bad ... (read in full...)
He said the nicest things but hasn't called in over a week..is this a hint??
Q. Greetings everyone!! Well I've met what seems to be an incredible man 3 weeks ago and at first he seemed very into me. We went out to dinner twice and had a coffee the third time together. He said the nicest things to me, like "he'd never been...
A. 4 February 2008: I'm sorry to hear this. I think it was very nice of him to call you to explain. At least you know if was nothing you did or didn't do. I think you probably have a fair amount of respect for him too and now you have a measuring stick to gage your ... (read in full...)
He said the nicest things but hasn't called in over a week..is this a hint??
Q. Greetings everyone!! Well I've met what seems to be an incredible man 3 weeks ago and at first he seemed very into me. We went out to dinner twice and had a coffee the third time together. He said the nicest things to me, like "he'd never been...
A. 3 February 2008: Please write us all back because I for sure am interested in what happens. I'm kind of going through a similar thing. Part of me is thinking he isn't interested but I know in my heart that he is but the he too is intimidated by me, which he said. ... (read in full...)
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