A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:(Sorry, this is a repost after getting an account.)So, I've been looking for some help from various places, and this situation I'm in is quite the rough one.To start this off, it's an online relationship, we talk on the phone, but there's no real physical presence right now.Now, we were friends for a while, but, I had these overwhelming feelings for her hit me pretty hard. So I let her know how I feel. She happens to have a thing for one of my best friends and he has the same feelings back. So, I was crushed, and am still really sad. I'm trying to back off since they have a relationship (I believe it's the right thing to do.), but it's really difficult.And lastly to top it off, this happened a few nights ago. He was ignoring her (supposedly not realizing it), and she came to me for someone to talk to, as she wants to still be friends. As the night goes on I can tell she's really upset, so I give her a call. She tries to act like she's fine, but then bursts into tears, and I try to calm her down. About 10 minutes into the conversation he calls her and they talk for a while, I have no idea how long. She never calls me back to let me know how she is, so I really get worried about her. I try calling her, yet she won't pick up, which worries me even more. I see her brother, so I ask if she's still awake or not. He apparently tells her that I want her to call me (Ugh.). She calls and tells me she sees me as stalker-ish, which I'm far from that, I was nothing more than just sincerely worried. I feel so horrible, as I was just trying to be there for her, maybe too much, I don't know. I still have feelings for her no matter how much I try to get rid of them.Do you think I was too far out of line, do you have any tips to try to get rid of my feelings? What the heck do I do?
View related questions:
best friend, crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (23 February 2008):
 Go to the highest mountain you can find or a cliff or somewhere lonely and shout out your frustrations . You will feel much better afterwards.
Or you can do it in your room, let your frustrations out by punching or kicking your pillow.
Accept the situation and make peace with your surroundings and you will find peace inside of you.
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (23 February 2008):
 Do I have this right... this girl is your friend and she called you for advice and ended up in tears, then took a call from a guy who is causing her to be upset, letting you go?
I know you probably care more than a friend for this girl and you know that too but I do not think that what you did was so wrong. She sucked you in by calling you and asking for your opinion. I believe you were worried about her, sincerely. She probably can't see this from her perspective and maybe she is feeling a little weird having spilled her guts to you.
Yes, you probably were a little too worried and we know why that is but she really didn't have a right to call you stalker-ish. I don't think you were out of line. Forget about it.
Now, how to get rid of your feelings for her, the best solution is to look at the sea of fish and try to find someone who feels the same about you as you feel about them. But before you do this figure out what you are looking for. What kind of person are you and what kind of person do you want. I know from this post that you are warm and caring and that you are loyal to your friends. All good qualities. Find someone who appreciates those qualities.
Falling in and out of love is part of life's hard times and I'm sorry to say this will not be the last time for you. But this will prepare you well for your future relationships.
You take care young man,
Kelja
...............................
|
