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My boyfriend can't keep his hands off me in public. Is this normal?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 May 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 14 September 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

ok this may sound silly, but my boyfriend is obsessed with my boobs! everywhere we are he has his hand up my top. he even does this in public now. The other day we were sitting watching TV with my parents and he had his arm round me and was there feeling my boobs with his hand down my mom looked at me horrified. He is even telling me what to wear, like low cut tops, sometimes which i don't want to wear. I've not been seeing him that long, 4 months, so is this normal because none of the guys I've dated before have been like this. don't get me wrong its not that i don't like some of it, but I don't know what drives him to want it all the it that he is just a very sexual person or is this not normal?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2007):

ive recently been told this by my girlfriend. i understand now, but at the time i wasnt trying to be disrespectful at all (not in front of the parents). but i was more trying to flirt or get her stirred up a bit. i wasnt trying to let anyone else see either...just between us... so, letting him know is the best route for sure, if he loves you he wont mind and of course just tell him to wait till ya get home =]

best of luck

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A female reader, jtaunton5410 United States +, writes (11 May 2007):

jtaunton5410 agony auntI have that probelem sometimes you just have to tell him to stop. If he respects you then he will without any question. And yeah it is pretty normal you just need to train you guy about the boundries.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007):

i've had that problem before but not in public. kissing, holding hands is ok in public, touching your boobs with your parents beside, there is a big no, can't do!!!

you should talk to him and say that it is ok in private but not in public. and if it gets too much of it he might get bored of them.

i understand that you feel unconfortable and you should explain that to him. he probably wouldn't mind you feeling him in public but try to make him realize what it felt in front of your parents. if he understand it was just an honnest mistake. if he doesn't that is a problem.

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A female reader, honesty United Kingdom +, writes (10 May 2007):

just talk to him and tell him you dont feel comfortable when his hand is up your top in public and espcailly in front of your parents it seems he doesnt have much respect for them because if he did he wouldnt do it in front of your mother

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A female reader, Country Woman United Kingdom +, writes (10 May 2007):

Country Woman agony auntI was with a man who was obsessed with big boobs for nearly 20 years and even though he loves them completely he would never ever do anything as embarrassing as how your boyfriend has behaved.

Personally I think you need to tell him it has to stop in public as you feel uncomfortable and doing it in front of your parents was just not on.

Yes there is a time and a place for touching you up and if he can't control himself then perhaps he is not the right guy for you.

I agree totally with Ponungalungb as you have turned into his play thing for him to do with what he wants, when he wants.

I would of smacked his hand and got up to walk away if a bf of mine tried to touch me up in front of my parents I must admit.

You have only been with this guy for 4 months and whilst things are very fresh and very active in the early days a line of respect should come into this.

You need to be able to go out with friends and feel comfortable around him and not worry that he is going to go for a grope at any opportunity.

When a guy starts telling you what to wear then you should start to question who is in charge here. He wants you wear low tops so that all the other men can see what he has got and what they cannot have. Also wearing low cut tops means he can get easy access whenever he wants. Get some polar neck tops - even short sleeve ones around these days (he will soon get the message).

Men can be boob obsessed but still able to control their hormones and hands.

Take care.

Country Woman

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A female reader, stina United States +, writes (10 May 2007):

stina agony auntHey there anonymous

I dated a guy just like this for 2 weeks. He was so completely disrespectful. Eventually - after a short time - I found out that he just saw women as objects. He was a total creep, loser, you name it. If I were you, I'd get rid of this guy. If you really want to stay with him, tell him what's up and stick to your guns. If he tries to cop a feel in public, smack his hand away - if he tries to feel you up in front of your parents, tell him to stop touching your breasts. I'm sure his disrespectful behavior will end quickly. But, your relationship might, too (and that's not a bad thing).

Take care.

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A male reader, Ponungalungb United States +, writes (10 May 2007):

Ponungalungb agony auntI think there is a time and place for everything. Watching TV with your parents isn't the time and place for feeling you up. He seems to think your body is his personal sex toy. You need to tell him otherwise, or his crass behavior will continue. Since he shows an obvious lack of class, you need to set the parameters as to what is acceptable behavior and what is not. I'd say lose the creep, and find someone that doesn't try to control and own you . . . but that's your call.

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (10 May 2007):

cd206 agony auntIt's a little abnormal. The situation in front of your parents had me cringing down the internet to you. Some people are more comfortable than others with public displays of affection. Personally I think there is a time and a place and I get a little uncomfortable sometimes with it all. Sounds like you're quite similar in that respect in which case just tell him you'd prefer to save touchy touchy for times when you're alone.


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