A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ive been dating my boyfriend for about five months now, and ever since I met him he's been known as "The picture guy"...When everyone's out he takes all the drunken pictures and sends them to them by email so they can have them. Alot of them are very attractive girls making out with eachother and what not, which doesnt threaten me...What bothers me is that a few of the girls really like to do this "for the camera" but I honestly think there's more behind it, and I know a lot of girls have crushes on him. It bothers me that he takes so many and then gets so upset when he says it means nothing. I realize he's always done this but I would have thought it would have toned down a bit as our own relationship matured...He's 38 years old..Also he sometimes makes little remarks to girls that are "just friends" like one was a remark regarding a picture of a girl, although fully clothed had her legs wide open and he asked if was an invitaion?? Another of a mutual friend has a picture that looks like shes not wearing a top and he had to comment on it, another remark of a picture of a girl he is attracted to of her holding her boobs he asked " why does that picture oddly arrouse me?"...Little things like that bother me and Im wondering if I am being over-dramatic or if this really is not ok??? Thank you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): When I'm 38, I'd probably throw myself off a cliff before letting anyone nickname me as "the picture guy."
How embarrassing!
Okay, sorry - but it had to be said. Your boyfriend is living out an immature fantasy life. If he were truly serious about you, and if it truly means nothing to him, he should be able to give it up. If he can't, he may be getting his jollies from it (also known as a picture taking fetish), which means you either have to accept him the way he is, or dump him, because there isn't any way you're going to change him.
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (1 May 2007):
 Sounds to me like your boyfriend could be bi-sexual, is he?
The sexual references he makes to the girls seems to me like he is totally getting aroused by the images, it really does depend on if likes both sexes or not?
The problem is that your relationship with him is still relatively new and you are still getting to know one another.
This does bother you otherwise you wouldn't be questioning it now and when you don't feel comfortable with something your partner is doing then it does infect the relationship unless you are able to talk about it sensibly and work it out.
I do think a lot more talking is needed here and to find out his true feelings for you but again it is still early days for you both.
Hope some of the above has helped a little.
Take care.
BFN
Country Woman
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