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age
30-35,
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writes: Hi!Well I'm worried about my best m8,recently I've discovered she's an emo.She has cuts all over her wrists nd sum on her arms.I don't know if I can convince her 2 stop doing this 2 herself even if she just dresses like an emo I want her 2 stop cutting herself.She's deadly serious though about this but I'm not sure if I can stop her.Plz sum 1 tell me wat I should do cus I'm losing my best friend!Plz help.
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female
reader, lisarocksyoursocksoff  +, writes (13 May 2007):
 hmm this is interesting, because is she cutting herself just because of the emo trend?
either way you can't hold yourself responsible, but i do suggest you sit her down and talk to her in an enviroment she feels comfortable in and tell how the risks involved in cutting and how much it would hurt you and her family and friends. but it is upto to her to seek help.
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (13 May 2007):
 I can only say that the advice you have already been given is sound advice as love-him knows from her own personal experience.
I think you should say that you are there for your friend but also have you found out what the cause of this self harm is all about - the underlying problem as there is generally one in most cases.
What does your friend think of herself and her self image to the outside world?
I don't think you should keep this all to yourself and I think that teachers at school will surely get to see the marks if they are at all observant like the PE teachers etc.
You are doing everything you can by just being there for your friend and letting her know that you are willing to help in any way you can will help to reassure her.
Yes infected wounds are a major concern as well so try and see if there are trigger times for her like when she has more stress or is there any problems at home for her that she has not opened up to you about.
Just tread carefully with her and try however hard it is to stay calm around her and just reassuring.
You are a true friend and no one could ask for more than that.
Don't be on your own with this though and if you need to talk to someone there are numerous helplines as well with professionals who could help you as well to deal with your emotions as well as being a brick is sometimes difficult too so just don't bottle it all up yourself either OK.
Take care and keep taking eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (13 May 2007):
 first you dont want to worry her by tellin her u will stop bein her friend or for instance sayin '' oh fine if thats what you want to do, do it '' cos believ me it dusnt work. second, you need 2 explain to her how its makin u feel n every one, if she has ANY oroblems make sure she feels able to talk to you about it, even if its a touchy subject for you...make sure she knows you are there for her. third talk 2 her about cleaning the cuts which she makes and if it can be helped, dont let her be alone too much, maybe mentioning this to a teacher or adult? i am sixteen now and i self harmed from the age of 12 until i was 15, i had people give me the wrong advice, telling me to die (to realy hope i wouldnt) so realy and truly, be there for her, try pursuade her not to do it, tell her how much she means to you and continue on that path. i hope i helped, mail me if u wan 2 talk x x x
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